You should’ve kept it all to yourself.
Stupid.
I told you not to cut so much because he’d notice!
You’re stupid.
So goddamn stupid.
Now he knows and thinks you’re annoying.
I didn’t sleep all night; I closed my eyes and waited for Jack’s breath to become heavy and even, so I could reopen my eyes.
I felt so… exposed right now. Noticing my cuts was embarrassing, seeing them, pathetic and kissing them was just uncomfortable and I just felt so… yeah, exposed. Exposed and stupid. How could I let that slip? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I finally fell asleep, but only to be waken up not 10 minutes after.
I felt Jack’s breath against my forehead as his hands roamed to my butt and pulled me closer. He nuzzled his nose in my neck and let out a heavy sigh. His hands went to my exposed arm and I felt his lips against my cuts.
“I hope you someday realize how much you are worth” he whispered with a sad tone, making my heart break in a weird way.
I decided to act asleep for 20 minutes more until I finally opened my eyes slowly and yawned.
“Morning, beautiful” Jack whispered with a smile.
“Good morning, Jacky” I smiled back, pecking his lips.
“How did you sleep?” he asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.
Do. Not. Tell. Hi-
“I couldn't” I said in a small voice.
You’re so damn stupid…
Jack frowned, “Why didn’t you wake me up?”
I scoffed a bit, “First, because you’d get pissed off. Sec-“
“I wouldn’t” he gave me a reassuring smile.
“You would. Anyways… Secondly, you looked too cute to be disturbed” I gave him a flirtatious smile.
He chuckled and we laid in comfortable silence for a while until his expression became more serious and he spoke again.
“We need to erm… talk. About yesterday…” he looked at me carefully.
I sighed and looked down to his chest tattoo.
“Babe” I looked at his now pleading eyes, “We do need to talk about it”
“I know” I said, my eyes looking at everything but his face.
He touched my cheek -which wasn’t red anymore- and I looked at him.
“Believe me when I say I don’t wanna lose you” he said as we didn’t break eye contact.
Lies.
Those are lies.
You’re stupid if you believe him.
I opened my mouth, but closed it again, my eyes pointing at his chest, but not focusing on anything, as I tried to control my thoughts.
“María?” I heard Jack calling my name, “Are the voices speaking to you again?” that brought me out of my thoughts for a second.
“Just… give me three minutes”
I tried to sit up so I could breathe better but Jack didn’t let me and, instead, crashed our lips together, making the voices go away.
I gave him a flirtatious smile as we pulled away, “I said three minutes, not seconds”
He smirked and pecked my lips again.
“Was it effective?” he asked, already knowing the answer. I nodded, “Well, then it’s okay” he gave me a soft smile, my stomach doing funny things when I looked at him.
“You’ll need to give me more than a kiss to make them go away completely” I pecked his lips, sitting up, “Breakfast?”
He smiled and opened the bunk, but before getting out, he got his Ravens hoodie and gave it to me, probably considering the fact I would feel uncomfortable with my cuts exposed.
“Thanks” I gave him a small smile.
“No problem, baby” he kissed my cheek and got out of our bunk. As soon as I was out with the hoodie on, he pulled me closer by my waist.
“I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, alright?” he whispered in my ear. I nodded, a small blush appearing on my face, “And, if you ever need to get away from the voices with more than just one kiss, well, then dear María, count me in” I blushed harder and was about to slap him from embarrassment.
“You’re cheesy as fuck” I felt his hand cupping my face, “And an idiot” he leaned to kiss me and chuckled.
“But you love me” he concluded with a smirk, our foreheads together.
“Who wouldn’t” I agreed, wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a soft kiss on his gorgeous lips.
He instantly kissed back, his other hand pulling me closer by my lower back and the hand on my cheek bringing my face closer to his. I licked his lower lip and he gladly opened his mouth, our tongues moving together, visiting each other’s mouths like a kid would visit his old treehouse. We sadly had to pull away for air.
“Breakfast, right?” he smiled, making me chuckle.

Jack’s POV

After the show, I spent the rest of the day with María and Stella and -occasionally- Oriol.
Later that day, we were sitting on a small hill right next to the venue. We were laying on the ground, star gazing and drinking occasionally from María's dearest Jack Daniel’s -but not enough to get us very drunk- when I took her long, pale hand in mine.
“I don’t wanna ruin this, but we need to talk about it” I said in a low voice.
María sighed and sat up, only to be immediately pulled back down on my chest; I didn’t want her to be far away from me.
Oh, wow. Three inches apart. Wow. Big deal.
Think whatever you wanna think, but being three inches apart from her was horrible. Plus, i knew she kind of needed some sort of human contact if she was about to speak about something personal.
“What do you want me to say?” she tried to control her voice, signaling she was fighting back her tears. I hated it when she did that.
“Shh, let the tears fall; it’s not healthy to fight them back” I advised, rubbing my thumb on her bony hand. With that, she started to shake and I felt something wet on my shirt, but I couldn’t care less. I wrapped my arms around her tighter and pulled her up, closer to my neck so I could kiss her face.
A weird silence grew between us when I finally came to a conclusion. I knew she’d hate it, but it was better for both of us to sort this particular subject out.
However, I knew I wasn’t going to be easy, so I had to cheat a bit to get her approval.
“Mari?” I felt her move her head to look at me, “How much do you love me?”
Now I hated myself for doing this. Taking that card on her was a low blow and I realized how nervous it made her.
“Too much” I felt her smile a bit against my skin, “Why?” she frowned.
“So, you’d do anything for me, right?” I asked, trying to ignore her question.
“Of course I would” I noticed the hint of panic in her voice. I just screwed up.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“Yeah” she answered, “Why are you asking me this?”
I took a deep breath.
“I want you to go to therapy” I gave her two seconds to take it in before continuing, “I think that if you’d at least give it a try, may be it’d help you…” I trailed off, “I’ll go with you if you want, but I think you have to go; it’’d help both of us and-“ I stopped myself when I heard her sniff.
I kissed her forehead and pecked her lips several times.
“Babe?” she was so absent.
I tried to focus my eyes to the night and, by the way her eyes weren’t focused on anything and the way she was fighting back some tears by blinking them away, I figured she was trying not to listen to the voices inside her head.
Yes, I could be smart sometimes.
So I did what I did that morning; I shifted so I was on my side next to her and leaned down to kiss her. I didn’t mind at all kissing her since she was my strong and beautiful girlfriend, after all, and I just loved kissing her.
And feeling her…
Alright, Jack. Focus.
I pulled away and looked for a reaction. She gave me a small smile as a tear rolled down her cheek. I wiped it off and let her sit up, me doing the same. I pulled her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her middle, kissing her temple.
“Please say something” I begged when I thought she’d calmed down a bit.
“I-I” she hesitated, “I w-want to, b-but-“ she shook in my arms, her hands gripping my shirt.
“The voices don’t let you?” I tried to help her, in case she couldn’t find the words. She just nodded, “Fuck them, this is about you and your mental health” I said firmly.
“They are part of me, Jack” she insisted.
“No, they are not. Because it is not normal -or natural- to hear voices in your head like that; your conscience is natural, your voices are not” I felt her eyes staring at me.
“Thanks, Jack” she buried her face in my chest.
“Not problem” I smiled to myself realizing she was son longer crying, “You do need to think about it. I’m not sending you away, but I’d really want you to get some extra help” I said in a more convincing tone.
“You really want that?” she asked, her voice a bit thick with tears still, but more calmed down.
“I just want you to be happy” I kissed her temple lovingly.
“I am happy when I’m with you” she clarified.
I sighed, “That’s the thing, baby. You are happy when you’re with me, but I want you to be happy, not only with me, but with yourself too. See, yesterday you panicked, pushed me away and harmed yourself. That is not being happy and I’m- I’m just terrified of losing you” I added in a low voice.
“I’m not trying to off myself” she defended herself in barely a whisper.
That’s what made me more sad; she didn’t do it to kill herself anymore, but to cope with her life. And that was actually so sad; she was so beautiful and so fucked up at the same time, it wasn’t fair. And not only her, all of our fans who had some kind of problem were so beautiful and you could see how kind and beautiful -inside and outside- they were.
It just wasn’t fair.
“I know” I held her tighter.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes, me pecking her temple every now and then, brushing her hair with my fingers.
She looked up at me and stared into my eyes for a few seconds. I would say “the moon was making her skin look blue and beautiful” and what not, but the truth is there was no moon that night. Her eyes went to my lips and I automatically leaned to meet hers. I felt her eyelashes brush my eyelids when our noses touched as she was closing her eyes and I let myself melt in the kiss.
When we pulled away we looked at each other’s eyes, our foreheads together.
After a few minutes, she spoke up.
“Alright” I pulled away and shot her a confused look, “I’ll go to therapy” I smiled, not breaking eye contact with her and my heart literally filling with joy, “But only because you want me to” she clarified. I obviously ignored her last comment.
I couldn’t express how much happiness I was feeling right then, so I kissed her again. The kiss was quick, but I knew she noticed my happiness when she smiled back when I pulled away.
“I love you so damn much” I whispered in her ear, followed by a tiny kiss under her lobe.
I don’t know what made me so happy; I knew therapy wasn’t the answer to everything, and I had to help her get better, but I thought that was a big step for her, since she hated therapists so much and was totally against them.

I was just happy she decided to get some extra help for herself, because -who knew- may be she decided to give it a real try this time for herself.

Notes

I didn't know if mentioning cuts would trigger some of you, so I put the trigger warning sign just in case.

I wanted to update earlier but I went to Port Aventura (an amusement park) and my mom didn't let me bring my phone or anything electronic except my Nintendo, so I couldn't finish this chapter off.
It was so fun, oh gosh! If you ever go to Catalonia, go to Port Aventura, you won't regret it! Seriously, I rode on this Shambala roller coaster -which is supposed to be the highest roller coaster in Europe- and it was so amazing! Now I'm definitely not afraid of falling off a horse lol

BY THE WAY, have you guys checked my new fanfiction? *smirks*
It's another Jack/OC, but slightly different.

Anyways, tell me your thoughts about this chapter :3

Title credit: Therapy by All Time Low.