Me? Happy? Saying I was happy was the biggest understandment of the century. I wasn’t happy, I was fucking euphoric. I didn’t expect her here and it was an awfully good surprise.
After having a quick shower, I ran into Vic Fuentes.
“I saw your girlfriend” Vic pointed out with a smile.
“Did you know she was coming?” I asked.
“Nope, but I’m glad she did. You two look so happy together” I started to blush a bit, “How are things now?” he sounded a bit concerned.
“Awesome” I smiled, “During the time we were together after the accident, we bonded again. She told me about her past, opened up to me a bit more. She seems to be doing well” I explained.
“I’m happy you two are doing so well” he cleared his voice, “Jack” I looked up to Vic, he was wearing a serious expression on his face.
“What’s up?” I furrowed my eyebrows.
“You know when you presented us?” I nodded, “I saw some white lines up and down both of her arms, Jack” I already knew a bit about her self harm, “And I may have seen some just on the crook of her neck” he added.
“No, I think I should’ve seen it” I shook my head. I mean, I’ve seen María naked hundreds of times by now, and not once I noticed white lines there.
“Jack, I’m not entirely sure, but make sure. I know it’s in her past, but these things keep coming back and if she did it once, she’ll more likely do it again” he advised. I nodded.
“Thanks, man” I gave him a bro hug, “Would you like to come to the bus and hang around?” I offered with a smile.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll get the rest of the band” he waved and walked off to his bus.

---

When I got to my bus, it was in complete silence. For a second I panicked and though about what Vic said about doing it again and froze.
I jogged across the bus and found her peacefully sleeping in my bunk with her earbuds on and her phone beside her. I didn’t wake her up because I was well aware she probably didn’t sleep all day, so I let her sleep. I reached down and sat on my bunk, grabbing her phone to see what she was listening to. I didn’t recognise the album cover.
A black haired man with shoulder-length hair and beard holding a white guitar. His face was emotionless, staring somewhere near him, to the floor maybe. The album cover was sort of black and white, but with a navy blue contrast. It read: Melendi, Lágrimas Desordenadas.
Okay, spanish music. I sighed and tried to translate the album title. Lágrimas ? Think, Jack, think… Were those, tears? Yes, tears. Desordenadas ? If you took out the ‘des-' you had ‘ordenadas', which kind of sounded like ‘organized', but with the ‘des-' in front… Was the title Unorganized Tears or something like that? I’d ask PTV when they got to the bus, they were mexican, after all.
I looked at the song, long title for a song. I saw it was in repeat-mode.
“Hey, Jack! Where’s your-?” Mike came into the bus. I instantly hushed him and pointed my bunk when the guys saw me sitting on my bunk, looking at my girlfriend’s phone.
“What are you doing?” Jaime asked. I slowly handed him the phone.
“Help me, please?” I asked, “What does it read?”
“Messy Tears by… Melendi? Yeah, that’s right” he nodded. Messy, okay, I nearly nailed it.
“You heard of that singer before?” I asked, confused.
“I heard of him, he’s sort of a classic pop, hispanic singer” Tony chimed in, “I haven’t listened to his music though”
“Why are you asking?” Vic asked.
“Oh, nothing” I shrugged, “Just curious” I paused, thinking, “Guys?” I looked up, their heads snapped in my direction. “Could you help me translate it?”
“Yeah, of course, let’s go to the living room” Vic suggested.
“What’s the song’s name?” Jaime asked.
“Wait a second” I grabbed her phone again, María still sleeping, “Hmm… Tu Jardín Con Enanitos” I tried to put on a spanish accent, unsuccefully.
“Don’t worry, Jack” Tony winked at me, noticing my struggle, “I’m sure you’ll learn enough spanish with your little sleeping beauty over there” I smirked.
I really did want to learn some proper spanish, and who else but my lovely and beautiful girlfriend to help me?
I handed Vic my laptop and him, Mike and Tony started to look for the song whilst Jaime and I talked. Alex, Rian and Zack soon came to see what we were doing.
“The title’s translation is Your Garden With Gnomes, by the way” he said.
“Sounds… promising” I smiled. I wondered what other music, besides rock, María listened to, I should ask her later. Or you could look in her phone. Nah, I prefer to as her myself.
“What are you guys doing?” Rian asked.
“Jack saw María sleeping with her earbuds on, so he took a sneak peek on what she was listening to and found a spanish song” Jaime explained.
“So you are helping him to translate it?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yup” Tony answered.
“Aw, Jack got all romantic” Alex sat next to me and shook my shoulder a bit.
“Or in stalker mode” Zack added in almost a whisper. We all burst into laughter.
“Okay we got it” Mike announced.
“It’s quite romantic” Vic mentioned, “And a bit chessy at the beggining”
Okay, this started to sound like María.
“And the song?” I asked.
“We’ll listen to it later” Mike said.
“Okay, so…” he started to read the lyrics.

Today I ask my dreams
To take off your clothes,

“Oh, god! I didn’t know your princess listened to these things, Jack-o!” Alex joked. I rolled my eyes, but smirked.
“Shut up” I said.

To turn into kisses
my urge of trying to bite your mouth.

“It’s a bit cheesy, yeah…” I muttered.

And though I understand that you,
you always have the last say
in this thing about love.

Today I ask your guardian angel
to share, to give me courage and strength in the battle,
to win it.
Because I don’t wanna go through your life like fashions,
Don’t be scared, my lady, nobody mentioned a wedding!
I just wanna be the four legs of your bed,
your war every evening,
your letup every morning.
I wanna be your medicine,
your silence and your screams,
your thief, your policeman,
your garden with gnomes.
I wanna be the broom that wipes away your sadness,
I wanna be your uncertainty and,
most of all, your sureness.

I was starting to feel attracted to this song. It described me, basically. I wanted to be good enough for María and not be just a boyfriend more, but I still wasn’t ready to marry her, and I could sense she felt the same. I just wanted to be there by her side to help her and support her. I wanted to have ‘friendly wars’, if you know what I mean, with her every night but feel her safe in my arms by morning, helping her in her tough times, her bad boy who would also protect her. I just wanted to complete her.

Today I ask the moon
to extend this night
and to light up with force this feeling
and let our hearts dance.
And though I understand that you,
you will always be that dream that maybe
I will never reach.

María always seemed like a girl I had no chance with.

Today I ask your guardian angel
to share, to give me courage and strength in the battle
to win it.
Because I don’t wanna go through your life like fashions,
Don’t be scared, my lady, nobody mentioned a wedding!
I just wanna be the four legs of your bed,
your war every evening,
your letup every morning.
I wanna be your medicine,
your silence and your screams,
your thief, your policeman,
your garden with gnomes.
I wanna be the broom that wipes away your sadness,
I wanna be your uncertainty and,
most of all, your sureness.

And I wanna be the one who never forgets about your birthday.
I want you to be my rose and my spine,
even if you hurt me.
I wanna be your Carnival,
your begginings and your endings.
I wanna be the sea
where you drown all your sorrows.
I want you to my Gardel tango, my leaflets,
my half honey moon, my blues, my eighth wonder.
The dance of my salon, my zip and my buttons,
I want you to wear your skirt and, also, my trousers.

“What’s Gardel tango?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know but I think it’s a traditional dance or something” Jaime answered.
“And what does he mean with eight wonder?” he asked again.
“Dude, the seven world wonders? Eiffel Tower? Taj Majal?” Rian replied.
“And what does he mean with the skirt and trousers and stuff?”
Dude, Alex, think with your brain, not with your feet.
“Well, you know the expression ‘The one who wear the trousers in the family’? I think it refers to that; he wants the girl to be the important bit in the relationship, to wear his trousers” Jaime explained.
“Guys, I haven’t finished” Vic said.
“Oh, sorry, carry on” Alex gestured.

Your austronaut, the first man to ever land on your moon,
nailing down a flag of madness,
filling your life with colour, passion,
taste, emotions and tenderness.

Just so you know,
I have no cure
without your love.

To be dead honest, I didn’t expect the song to be so romantic by the way it started, but I could feel free to say I like it. I felt related to it.
“So, Jack, what do you think? It’s your girl’s song anyways” Mike spoke up.
“I think it’s amazing” I recognised, “can we listen to it?”
They all nodded and we watched a lyrics video with english subtitles. Those subtitles weren’t as good as Vic and Mike’s translation but it was whatever, I already knew what the song meant. I could translate it a bit, as well, so it was also a way of learning spanish.
The music was soft, no wonder why she fell asleep listening to the song, although at the end the singer changed a bit the soft tone and put a bit more of emotion to the song, but it was okay.
After listening to the song three times and me re-reading the lyrics, we went to some bar. I didn’t drink much, I had a sleeping beauty, like Tony said, in my bunk and I just couldn’t be hungover when I woke up next to her.
When we came back from the bar I took off my shirt and jeans, leaving me only in boxers. I opened my bunk to find María sleeping with her back to me. I laid next to her and slid my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I kissed her neck and pulled her into my chest. I fell asleep spooning her, feeling the need to never let go of her.
She’s mine.
That’s what I thought of before falling asleep.

Notes

Second update!