I woke up with a massive hangover and thinking I was going to die on the horse riding centre’s couch. I had no idea what had happened the night before and, honestly, I thought I didn’t want to. Hopefully there already was a glass of water on the coffee table beside me. I found it strange but drank anyway, just to spit it out and realise it was vodka. Why does vodka have to be transparent?
I tried to stand on my feet and stumbled upstairs to the restaurand and asked for water to Xavi, who gave me a bottleof real water and some Advil.
Once the hangover started to go down I started to remember what happened with a blur. All I remembered was: walking, entering a bar, shots, Ruben, more shots, talking about something, more shots, suddenly Stella, bathroom, puking my guts out, managing to drink a bit more from a bottle I somehow got, taking nudes, sending them to someone, Stella (with my clothes on again), blackout.
Wait a second- Nudes? Sending them? I immediately searched for my phone in my jacket and unlocked it. I went to my most recent spapchats and textes and saw Jack the first one. Oh, right, he asked me for nudes and I guess that was all my drunken brain could care about. I sighed, relieved that I only sent Jack nudes, or this could’ve been very awkward.
I decided to look for Oriol and see if he could have someone to give me a ride home, but not before going to Stella’s paddock and hug her and stroke her ears. Oriol was doing the same with Desmona so I tapped his shoulder and asked for a ride.
“Ask Marcus” he said.
“He has a crush on me” I rolled my eyes.
“What about Sergio?” I though about that.
Sergio, or Sergi, was Marcus’ best friend. He was very tall and big, he looked like a football player; well built, big muscles, strong. And he was also one of my best friends at the equestrian centre and loved cross. At first he seemed like a douchebag but deep down, if you got to know him, he was a caring and lovely friend, although he refused to admit it. He had a crazy apaloosa horse named Apache, and he was completely nuts and loved to jump. He was also gay and had very good music and fashion taste, so he was most likely to give me advice in almost everything.
“Alright. Is he here?”
“Yeah, I drove him here” Oriol shrugged, “Tell him to bring my car in one piece!”
I chuckled, nodding my head, and turned to Stella.
“See you tomorrow, sweetie” I kissed her forehead and hugged her neck. “I have to go and get rid of this hangover and rest, but I’ll be back tomorrow so you can kick my ass then, okay?” I asked.
Oriol acted like I wasn’t there and he didn’t know me. Stella lowered her head and pushed her head against my chest, when her head was up again, I kissed her between her nostrils and patted her neck. I walked outside of her paddock and closed it behind me, waving Oriol and the rest of people I walked past, and called Sergi.

---

The rest of the day consisted on me staying at home with Sergi, cuddling on my sofa and watching How To Train Your Dragon, because I’m that childish and I lived for that movie.
“I heard you had a boyfriend” Sergi smirked, I nodded and blushed, “What’s his name?”
“Jack” I sighed, burying my face in his shoulder to hide my red face.
“Jack what else? Come on! Give me details, girl!” he exclaimed, turning to me so I couldn’t hide.
“His name is Jack Barakat, he’s american and he is guitarrist in a band called All Time Low” I said, quite proud of my boyfriend.
“I always knew you’d end up with some rockstar!” he laughed.
“Really?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was thinking more of an actor, but I knew it would be someone famous!” he laughed and looked at me, “That pretty face of yours makes everyone fall on their knees”
“Yeah, sure…” I laughed.
“It’s true!” he insisted, “Your boyfriend is one lucky guy! By the way, when I am going to meet him?” he smirked.
“Why does everyone want to suddenly meet my boyfriend? Oh my god!” I buried my face in my hands in mock irritation, trying not to laugh.
“Because” Sergi leaned down to grab my arms and pull my hands away from my face, he rolled my sleeve carefully and spoke with a soft voice, “you are the equestrian little sister I never had. And even though you’re annoying as hell when you want to, you’re snappy and stubborn” he said with a smirk, “You are important to everyone in that little centre in Sant Cugat and to me, aaalsooo…” he raised his index finger and moved it, closing his eyes in a sassy way, “because if he’s famous, maybe he can make me famous as well, no?” I slapped his shoulder playfully and he didn’t stop laughing when I grabbed a pillow and threw it to his face.
“I thought you were going to say something intelligent for the first time!” I chuckled. He calmed down and chuckled a bit.
“No, now seriously… I want to meet him because I know you guys have been dating for a very long time and if you agreed to date him for so long, there must be something going on” he smiled at me when I started to blush. “Also, I’ve seen these scars fade since I heard you guys were back together, so I guess that’s a very good sign"
“We haven’t been that long together… we’ve been officially known each other for almost a year now…” I said quietly. I looked at him, “Mikel kind of screwed our relationship for the most part” I said, almost in a whisper.
“Yeah, Oriol told me the story” he looked down, “I swear to God, if that asshole comes back, I’ll break his neck” I chuckled and smiled at him in a thankful way, he nodded and then smirked, “Now tell me more about this guy” I felt my cheeks get hot again, “When and how did you meet him?” he said.
From there I told him everything that happened and how I felt all the time. I didn’t go into details with the story, just a bit over it, and told him I relapsed, mentioned my suicide attempts, everything. He nodded and commented every now and then.
When I finished he gave me a long nod and smiled when he looked at me again.
“Now I definetly wanna meet him” he smiled.
“Well, it’ll have to wait because he’s on tour right now” I sighed.
“Who says you have to wait? You could go and surprise him” he smirked.
“Yeah, I’ve been talking about it with Ruben. But what if I appear in an awkward situation?” I asked.
“Give me an example” he said to keep me going.
“I don’t know… an argument”
“Two kisses and a hug for everyone and see how it goes” he smiled.
“Hmm… What if catch him masturbating?” I tried not to blush.
“Good one!” he laughed, “Help him out”
“Okay… and what if-?”
“María, please, nothing’s gonna happen. Just be espontaneous if it does!” he raised his arms and lowered them slowly, drawing a half circle in the air. “Come on! If you don’t do it you’ll regret it” he tried to convince now. Damnit! He always started with the ‘you’ll regret it’ thing. He was always right, though, but still!
“Okay, okay” I gave up, “I’ll do it!” he cheered.
“I’ll be waiting for you to come back to meet him, got it?”
“Got it”
We spent the afternoon and evening studying tour dates and I looked for hotels and flights. At times I thought I was being a creep, but I let it slide because I was doing all of this to surprise Jack, and not to stalk him. Soon it was 9pm and my phone went off.
“Who is it?” Sergi looked over my shoulder.
“Jack” I grabbed my phone, “Excuse me a second” I stood up and answered the phone, pacing around the room.
“Hey, beautiful” I heard Jack’s voice over the phone.
“Hey, Jacky. How was the show?”
“Incredible, as always” he chuckled, “I was worried you weren’t calling me, is everything alright?” he sounded concerned.
“Yes, don’t worry. I was going to call you in five minutes, anyways”
“Mhm… By the way, thankyou for the nudes” I heard him smirk, “I see you remembered”
“It wasn’t my intention at all, but I’m glad I sent them to you and not someone else by mistake” I chuckled.
“The thing is you’ll have to pay me back”
“Excuse me?”
“Yesterday, when we were talking and you asked about what were you wearing, by the way you were talking I imagined you naked and gave me a… situation to take care of” I giggled, “Yeah, yeah, giggle as much as you want, but I took care of my problem… just when you sent me those nudes, sooo…” he paused, “You have to pay me back” he added in low voice.
“And how can I pay you back?” I asked with a husky voice. I saw Sergi look at me, holding back a laugh.
“I haven’t decided my punishment yet, but it’ll be awful” he threatened in his low, husky voice. I started to feel a wet spot forming in my panties and I was thankful I was wearing my pajama shorts or Sergi would make fun of it later.
“Mhm… I’m dying to see what punishment you choose for me” I smirked, blushing, “And as much as I would like to continue with this conversation, I have to go” I felt him pout, “I have a friend at home” I tried to explain.
“And who is it?” he asked.
“You don’t know him. But you’ll meet him when you come back” I assured him.
“Him?” he sounded tense.
“Yeah, his name is Sergi and he’s like a brother to me” I explained.
“Mhm” he sounded tense.
“Jack, don’t worry. He’s gay” I assured him.
“Are you sure?” he seemed unseasy.
“Jack, I’ve known him for eight years. I am sure” I said, a bit annoyed, “What’s wrong babe?”
“I miss you”
“I miss you too, Jacky” I awwed, “I love you”
“I love you too” I heard him smile.
“Have a nice evening, I love you” I hung up after he said goodbye and I made a kiss noise.
“He doesn’t want any guy near you?” Sergi asked when I sat on the couch again.
“I’m not sure” I sighed and turned to him.
“Well, he will not be too far away from you ina few days… So, which day you’re leaving?” he smirked.

---

Before leaving I had to do some final cross and jumping competitions. It’s been a week since Sergi stayed at mine and I’ve been training hard with Stella and today I had a cross competition.
The difference between cross and normal show jumping is, not only the space and the type of obstacles, but in cross, if you fall, you get up (if you can) and continue, not matter what. In show jumping, once you fall, it’s done; you can finish if you want to, but you’re disqualified. However, I don’t know why, in other competitions they didn’t disqualify me, but whatever.
This competition wasn’t on TV, as far as I knew, because it was a local thing.
We had to canter through the woods and jump four trunks, in the last one, you landed 50cm under the normal ground level and then you had to jump over a thicker trunk and you landed on a shallow river. In the river there were three more jumps, the last one landing on the ground again, and then two more obstacles, higher this time. You finished jumping over a high obstacle, at the other side of the river.
Stella and I went after Sergi and Apache, who finished and were qualified in the first position and he had fallen about five times. Ruben said he placed cameras over the course to film the competition, and there was a random photographer in the woods so that out competiton was registered in the centre’s webpage.
We started with a strong canter, almost galloping, and jumped the medium-sized trunks. I was hesitant, at first, so I grabbed Stella’s mane to pull me up.
In the forth trunk, the one we landed under the normal ground level, where my legs failed me and, I did jump over the obstacle, just not completely on Stella.
I hit my left side, the most damaged side when I crushed my ribs almost two months ago. Stella stopped once she touched the ground and lowered her head. I rolled over and pulled my knees up. Stella walked and put her two frontal legs at each side of me and pulled her head down. I didn’t want to get up.
María, don’t be lazy now, you can do that later!
I put my arms around her neck and she walked backwards quickly and pulled me up. I walked around her and jumped, feeling pain in my ribs and legs, but kicked her to continue anyways.
I have to admit cross was a ‘hardcore’ equestrian thing, but I love the thrill of jumping in an ‘informal’ course, with wildlife around you.
We continued to through the river, but in the second jump in the water, Stella couldn't balance herself properly and we both fell.
She slipped and fell to a side and I fell head first with my hands stretched out to try to soften the fall, like one of those bullets in Mario Bros. Again, she had to reach down and pull me up again, and I jumped on again, ignoring the pain in my elbows and arms. My lungs started to ache as soons as I was on the saddle.
Breathe, María, breathe.
Once out of the water, we sprinted to the last three jumps. Stella gained rhythm and her canter became more even and marked, allowing me to calculate better when I had to lift my body with hers. The second jump, before the last one, we fell again because Stella didn’t lift her back legs and tripped over the obstacle.
I 'flyed’ and landed on the ground again, but I didn’t have time to pull my hands in front of me, and crushed my shoulders and I felt something hit my neck, but not enough to leave a scratch or snap it.
We got up and finally jumped over, with no other surprise. Xavi, the head of the centre and the judge, let us know we were the runner-ups in the classification. Oriol led me to one side when I jumped off Stella, and pulled me into a side hug.
During all the competition, apart from being concentrated on the competition, I thought about everything in my life as an obstacle, opening old wounds to try and heal them -like saying goodbye to them- better.
First jump: I thought about me being adopted.
“So what?” I thought whilst I jumped.
Second jump: I thought about my family.
“Fuck them”
Third jump: I thought about school.
“Assholes”
Fourth jump: Crappy childhood. I fell, but when I stood up and jumped on Stella again.
“Fuck it”
Fifth jump: Me drinking.
“My liver will get better”
Sixth jump: Me cutting.
“My scars will heal”
Seventh jump: Mikel. Stella unbalanced herself and I was accidentally bucked off, but I stood up again.
“FUCK HIM"
Eighth jump: Suicide attempts.
“I’m still alive”
Nineth jump: Throwing up.
“My digestive system will get better"
Tenth jump: Teenage years. Stella didn’t pull her back legs up enough and we tripped over.
“They opened my eyes. Now I could help other people, when I get better"
Last jump: My life so far. I didn’t completely believe it, but…
“It’ll get better”
You may have noticed that when I ride, my thoughts are either fully positive, which most times are, or completely negative. My thoughts were interrupted when Oriol’s embrace tightened and he spoke.
“Crushed anything?” he smirked, but concerned.
“No, but almost” I said with a hiss of pain. I stopped and put a hand on my thigh. "I guess at some point I landed on a stone or something”
“Most likely” he smiled, but looked concerned, “Can you walk?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll look like I’v been beaten up tomorrow, but bruises fade away” I gave him a weak smile.
“That’s the spirit, blondie!” he carefully slapped my back, because I’m sure he saw my falls.

That night I got an early call from Jack.
“Jack?”
“Hey” he greeted me, he sounded nervous.
“What’s up? You’re calling early”
“Yeah, I haven’t showered yet. I saw Ruben’s video. You okay?” he sounded concerned.
“Yeah, don’t worry. Some bruises are starting to appear, but they’ll finally fade away” I tried to assure him.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he insisted.
“Jack, go and have a shower. I’m fine” I chuckled.
“Okay, I’ll call you when I finish”
“Don’t rush, I’ll live” I laughed.
“I just love you so much, babe” I heard him smile.
“I love you too, Jacky” I said in a lower voice, “Now shower and then we’ll talk”
I heard him giggle and he hung up.
God, I love this guy so much. I could’t wait for the last competition to be over.

Notes

Sorry for being absent these days! I didn't have Internet and when I did I was either editing some chapters, or editing this chapter.
I'll try to update more, promise! c:

Title credit: Buried Beneath by Red.