Dear María

It’s been two weeks since Jack and I saw each other. Of course, we’ve been texting each other and we’ve also talked through Skype, but I kind of missed him. I'd also uploaded new videos on Youtube, basically subtitled vlogs, as we all spoke in spanish between us. The video consisted in the life on the bus and our fun nights going out, me getting wasted and doing hilarious and stupid things with Ruben, that kind of stuff you then look back and just think what the fuck were you doing with your life.
Three days ago, after a 23 hours of travelling (with stops, otherwise Stella and I would have died in the bus) we got to Munich. I’ve slept for nearly 48 hours, not straight because I had to eat, train and shower every time I woke up and hardly spoken to Jack or any of the guys. Fuck, I haven’t even touched my phone for four days. God knows what happened.
I rolled out of my bunk and hit the floor. I groaned as I looked for my phone in my backpack, next to me. When I finally found it I saw thirty-three notifications. All text messages from Jack, Alex, Zack, Austin and Jaime. I was about to lock my phone when someone called me. Jack.
“Jacky?”
“OH, THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, hello to you too” I chuckled, “Sorry for not giving any signs of life lately, I was just so tired after getting to Munich and had training and- ugh. Sorry, I’m such a mess” I apologized.
“Don’t worry, it’s ok” he reassured, chuckling a bit, “You’re okay?”
“I’m just sleepy and just fallen off my bunk” I stated, smiling although he couldn’t see me.
“Did I wake you up?” he asked, concerned.
“No, don’t worry, my phone was turned off anyway” I explained.
“Figures why you haven’t texted me in the past four days” he said, a bit of sadness in his voice.
We kept talking about how was tour for us, I didn’t have much to say as I had to stay in each place for a minimum of two weeks (it’s really 40 days, but Oriol managed to change that, so it wouldn’t be so tirying) and now I hardly got out of the center. The competition was this afternoon which meant I’d have time to hang out and go for a walk and stuff. So far the competitions were going quite well, in London we surpresily got to the first place, all thanks to Stella, she was the one jumping, after all, and I had a good feeling about today, maybe the fact I’d been training all the time besides showering, eating and sleeping.
Time flew by very quickly. I texted Jack after each little break I had, which made me happy. I knew he’d be here tonight, which made me happier. I still hadn’t read my messages from this morning, I’d do that tomorrow, when everything would be calmer.
Oriol entered our bus with a grin plastered on his face. Uh oh, good news.
“Guys, I have good news!” Bingo. All of our spanish riders were on our bus, hanging out, Oriol continued, “Guess who’s appearing on Eurosport?!” he exclaimed, he seemed proud with himself so I was the first one to guess.
“Hmm, you?”
“NO, well, yes, but, not exactly… I- ugh” I think he just lost himself. I chuckled a bit, “Anyways, you guys are going to appear live in Eurosport tonight!” he exclaimed. The room went silent a second but soon the silence was broken by cheering and screaming. Eurosport was basically a TV programme all over Europe that only showed, well… sport. It’s quite obvious in the name.
I turned to my phone and tweeted the amazing news:

My competition in Munich’s gonna be appearing in Eurosport!! So excited x3

As soon as that was sent I relaxed a bit, knowing I had my fans’ support. They’ve helped me out a lot through this years, in the past I organized big meet ups whenever I went someone outside Spain, and more than once a fan has ran into me in summer whilst I stayed in my cousin’s house. Well, it was my house as well, she had the first floor and I had the second floor.
I got a text from Jack a few minutes later.

Zack already told me you’re appearing on TV in a few hours ;) I’ll be watching you!

I chuckled, recieving another text from him.

Uh oh, that sounded creepy. Anyways, I love you <3 ;)
Nah, don’t worry, Jacky. Besides, I’m not jumping today. I love you too :)
No? Then what’s the competition about?
Dressage. It’s like dancing, more or less :)
Oh, cool ;) By the way, tomorrow… I need to tell you something. ;)

I took a deep breath before asking him:

Oh? And what do you need to tell me?
You’ll see :))

I felt butterflies fly in my stomach, making me smile. I might have a small crush on him, after almost four months of texting, talking, skypeing and sometimes hanging out. María. Stop. Why? He’s interested in me, he makes me feel happy. Fuck, you sound like you’ve known him forever. Shut it. No, you shut it. This isn’t even realistic. Why would Jack fucking Barakat be interested in you? A fucking youtuber, seriously? Oh, god, don’t make me laugh. That’s bullshit. María, open your eyes. No one likes you. No one cares. Just realize this. Wow, thanks for the cheering… Stupid mind of mine… You’re welcome.
My internal conversation went on and on until I changed into competition clothes, tacked Stella up and we both headed to the arena.

Notes

Sorry for this crappy chapter, these have been very tough days for me and I kind of ran out of inspiration. It was meant to be longer, but I just didn't have the energy to do it, I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me.
I'll try to upload tomorrow, although I can't guarantee it'll happen 100%. Sorry.

Title credit: The Great Hendowski by Of Mice & Men.