With shaky hands, Jack set the eighth letter aside and began to unwrap the ninth. He would never forget the day that he read that letter, finding out that his Alex has stomach cancer. He was so in shock that for the first few days he knew, he didn't even cry. He didn't feel anything; he was numb. Eventually, it hit him like a bra thrown to him on stage, suddenly and with force, and he cried and cried and cried for two weeks straight, just long enough to receive the next letter and crush his heart even more.

February 1st, 2013

My love,

Is it safe to assume yet that you are not receiving these letters? Two weeks have passed since I sent my last one to finally let you know what is happening in my life, and I really, honestly thought you would reply. I understand if this is too much for you to handle, it's too much for me to handle, too. I'm fighting as hard as I can, though, Jack.

My doctor says that the chemo is starting to work it's magic! My cancer is shrinking and at this rate, it should be gone in a few months with my weekly chemo sessions. My hair is going to grow back, my thoughts are going to be clear, food is going to taste right, and my life is going to get back on a normal, healthy track. Hopefully, the band can get back together when this is all said and done.

Actually, I feel that's a horribly selfish thing of me to say. I can't just expect the rest of you to wait around for me to possibly come back. Honestly, I've hardly thought of any of the band and crew besides you...another thing that's very selfish of me: not thinking about the rest of the band. How are Rian and Zack, by the way? How are you, honestly? I guess you guys probably have your own jobs or something by now, or perhaps you've replaced me and are recording new music. Maybe you're on tour right now and that's why I haven't received a reply.

Just know that now I'm thinking about each one of you every day. I hope to hear from you soon, Jack, or even someone else if you can't bring yourself to speak to me. I honestly can't blame you after I selfishly got up and left with no warning. I'm a terribly selfish person, aren't I? I attached my number again, just in case.

I love you with every piece of me that's still left

Sincerely,

Alexander William Gaskarth



Jack shook his head, tears threatening to spill at his now naturally bloodshot eyes. Carefully, the old man rolled up his right sleeve and stared into the eyes of the portrait in front of him - Alex's face was permanently inked into his forearm for comfort. The lyrics Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams were written in ribbons above and below his face.

A single tear escaped and rolled down Jack's cheek. "You're not selfish, Alex," Jack whispered towards the ceiling. "If anyone was selfish, it was me."

Notes

Wow okay I'm so sorry it took me 3 months to update this story
I'll try to update faster next time
Hopefully you haven't forgotten about me :L
I love you all for sticking with the story if you have <3