“So, do you have any favorite quotes?” Alex asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Alex decided to take me to a museum downtown of famous artist, poets, musicians and what not.

“I do actually.” I turn to look at a sculpture. I let my fingers trail over the sculpture. The jagged, rough, feeling of the crested, embedded jewels felt wonderful under my touch.

“Well, who’s it by?” Alex asked as he walked around the same statue I was looking at.

“It’s by K.P.K via khimmortal.” I stopped touching the statue to catch his eyes. No matter how many times I used to or still do stare at his eyes, it makes me all fluttery inside.

“Come on Mary Catherine, recite it to me.”

I cleared my throat and gave a small smile. “ ‘It is terrifying to think that one day you will trust somebody enough to let them see you naked. You will undress and remind them that you have stretch marks and birth marks and scars from having chicken pox when you were little and scars from all of the other things now.” I stopped talking to see Alex, but he was behind the sculpture.

“It sounds lovely,” he says.

“I’m not done.”

“Well, continue,” He whispered. He was directly behind me now.

“ ‘You will blush thousands of shades of red, painting yourself as a rose losing its petals. And that person - that person will take it all in. And I wonder if they will reassure you. But mostly, I wonder if they will even see anything worth reassuring you about. I hope they see each freckle on your back as if it’s a star and you are the whole universe to them.’ ”

I continued to let my fingers trail over it until a hand laced its fingers through mine. My breath caught I my throat as Alex begins to lead our hands over the statue.

In this moment, nothing mattered because for that small moment, I had Alex and he had me.


“Summer’s coming to an end, Maria,”Alex whispered in my ear.

“I know.” His fingers traced over my arm, brushing against every freckle, birthmark, or scratch on my arm. Every imperfection was present in his wake and I was, for the first time, perfectly okay with it.

“Everything’s changing. Everything is going to change.” And he was absolutely fucking right. All Time Low may hear from a record company and they may leave to become famous. Cassadee formed a band recently named Hey Monday and I heard that they may be one of those supporting bands when All Time Low gets to go on a promotional tour.

My best friends are leaving me and it’s barely our senior year. I literally just found out, Middle College isn’t for me, but for what? To go to my senior year and realize that my friends have finally achieved their dreams and are gonna leave me?

I always feared that this day would come, I just didn’t expect it to come so soon.

“Maria, what’s wrong?” Alex asked me. He stopped tracing my arm and lifted his head up slightly to stare at me.

“Nothing.” I forced smile. “Just enjoying this moment while it lasts.” Especially since I have to go home with my meth obsessed parents. What seventeen year old wants to admit that her parents have a meth lab in their basement and totally forget the have a child, but when they do, they abuse the hell out of them.

I was never good when it came to expressing my feelings and I don’t think I can be able to tell my friends, my best friends since fucking forever that I don’t want them to leave. That, basically, I want them to give up their dreams so my life won’t seem so pathetic.

So I won’t have to work at the coffee shop forever.

But their my best friends and I just can’t do that to them.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about it and instead, focused on the soft, feather like, lulling traces Alex was leaving over my arm. Because in this small moment, nothing mattered.

Just Alex. Just me.

---

I don’t think I slept that night at all. It wasn’t because for three weeks, I think I’ve fallen for Alex all over again. It was because I was remembering those amazing three weeks. It was because all I remembered was crying over and over again. Each night I’d go to bed crying because of the pain and tonight is the worst it’s ever been. My body aches so much, I attempted to get out of bed to pee and I just collapsed back on the pillow.

The pain spread all over my body in a forensic hurry that I just wail in pain.

I panick because I have a feeling I know the cause of this pain, but it’s not like I can drive to the hospital. But this pain is so immense, I can barely breath with all the crying.

But I’m not ready. Not yet. Not while I still have Alex. That was all I needed to stop the crying and sit up. Tears still fell down my face as I stood up with shaky legs and grabbed my tank, inching my way into the living room and down the stairs.

Each step I took, I felt like I could feel the water in my lungs swishing. I could feel the pain still, like some had set my insides on fire, because it was burning. The inside of my body was burning and I was becoming more short of breath than usual.

When I set my foot on the final step, the world suddenly got dizzy. Cars were driving by in slow motion, people were walking in slow motion, and ordinary sounds sounded mute.

I blinked once, twice, nothing seemed to change. When I blinked the third time, I didn’t open my eyes. I felt my body go slump as it came in contact with the ground beneath me.


“For Christ’s sake, could you guys be any more drunk ?” Cassadee asked Jack and I.

Jack had thrown one of his legendary parties and a lot of people had actually came. It was rolling on four o’clock in the morning and it was just the six of us chilling on his couch in the living room.

Cass was impatient because she just wanted to go home and sleep, me, however, wanted to stay here in this moment. Mainly because I was drunk out of my mind.

Jack reached a hand out and popped her upside the head and her hair flew over her face. For a minute, she was fazed, but then, she reached one perfectly manicured hand and she slapped Jack.

Being as drunk as he was, he fell to the ground with ease while I busted out in a misfit of giggles. “Don’t touch my hair again or you won’t live to see tomorrow.” She walked off in her heels, snagging me with her thumb and pointer finger and began dragging me by the arm while my butt scooted across the carpet. Once we reached outside, my butt bean getting a little warm as the pavement left small pieces of gravel on my pants.
“Honestly, this is the last time I bring you to a party. You’re frigging shit faced drunk!” I threw my head back in laughter. I could see all the lights illuminating Baltimore’s dark streets. The only sounds heard were the occasional cars, Cassadee’s heels and the sounds of my butt rubbing against pavement.

“Cass, when we get to home can we pleeeeeassseee watch Turtle Ninja Teenage Mutants?” I take the hand that wasn’t in her grip and slapped it to my face. “My hand smells weird.” I mumbled.

“You mean Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?” she corrects.

“Nahhh. I’m pretty sure it’s Turtle Ninja Teenage Mutants.”

“That’s right!” Cass turned around to see two guys across the street staring at us. “Lesbo make out!”

Notes