She Lays Her Halo on the Pillow

The reputation the girl had proceed her - and of course, everyone did complain every now and then about her writing about her feelings. It wasn't like he was any better than her but he was praised whereas she was vilfied for the things she had said. He'd gone around and called girls the same terms she used, but people only cared about her. It wasn't fair, but maybe that was why aligning herself with him appealed to her. Her golden blonde curls were a reminder of the good girl status she had before him, before everything that happened between them. It did come back in flashbacks, in echos, and his number was the one she dialed when she was thinking. His touches, the gentle reminder that her halo had faded in good part due to him. And she liked it - too much to ever go back to the type of guys everyone wanted her to date. The darkness called her out and she didn't get burned as badly as she had expected. No, the newly dyed tips, the straightened curls - her friends acted as if she would have never done this without a man in her life.

They were wrong - it had been a long time coming when it came to finally snapping and rebelling against what she was built up to be. She was tired of everyone acting as if the virginal card was her being a slut shamer, as if the few things she wrote when she was insecure teenager and annoyed by the traditional cool girl archetype was a sign she wanted to play the victim. And well, part of it was true. But when she was fed up with being left, she was allowed to feel that way. She wasn't excusing the shitty actions she had done, but they happened and the way everyone acted... it was impossible for her to escape things she's done in the past. No one would let her apologize, no one in her publicity department anyway. They would refuse to let her even try because they didn't know how to let her apologize even though she knew. She was angry and anger had a habit of destroying her. But he didn't care and that was what made her like him so much.

Alex didn't care about her past and that was what had attracted her to him in the first. Taylor knew the kind of guy Alex was - he was trouble. She knew the reasoning why he didn't care, but still she ended up in his home when he was off tour... and still dating Lisa. She was what she hated, the girl who didn't tell the guy to buzz off and come back when he was single. However, Taylor couldn't find it in her to care as she entered his home with a small smile on her face. "So that's where my sweater went," he said in that rough voice she loved so much.

She brushed the spun gold curls out of her face, nodding with a small flush appearing across her cheeks. His oversized sweater was just so comfy and she couldn't resist the feeling of warmth, the sweet feeling of saftey, and the scent of him. "Yeah, well, you never said I couldn't take it," she said softly, wondering if she already seemed crazy. She always ended up being seen as the crazy stalker and no matter how much, she couldn't stop herself. Passionate love was something she longed for and when she fell, she fell fast and hard. "If you want it back, I can't give it back. I'm not exactly wearing anything...," she faltered off, flushing hard again.

Alex shook his head. "Nah, you look cute in it. Just don't let Lisa see you in it. She's already getting suspicious," he said, causing a small look of panic to appear in Taylor's eyes. She didn't want to think that Lisa would hate her the way she hated so many other girls for the same silly reason. Their reasonings made more sense now that she was in the situtation. It was complex, not just black and white. Sometimes... it was hard to resist. She knew she could say no, to stay with Lisa. She opened her mouth to point this out and Alex sighed. "Taylor, you know that this arguement is best saved for later. No need to start on a sour note."

She couldn't help but wonder when would be a good time to discuss that he was cheating, that she was taking part in it. "Fine, when," she asked as she followed him up to his bedroom. "You and I both we need to discuss exactly what we're going to do - if you're even going to leave Lisa or if I should just walk away. You can't have it both ways. I mean... Lisa isn't the type to share. And you know I'm not the type to share either."

"I'm not a toy," he pointed out, shutting the door behind them once they were in his room. Taylor situated herself on the bed, looking up at him and biting her lip. "Oh, don't give me that look. You said it yourself: it's sticky. On one hand, Lisa and I have been together for years and she's one of my friends. But... I also love you," he said as he sat down next to her, looking down at the floor. Taylor sighed before her hand slipped into his silently. He turned to her, cupping her cheek. "You do know I love you, right? I know it doesn't reflect very well with the whole Lisa thing..."

Taylor cut him off by pressing her lips to his softly. She knew he'd ramble for too long and he didn't like to talk about his feelings anyway. Not even in an intimate situation like this... it was delicate and she felt guilty for bringing it up. Talking about it was how it was supposed to go, but she knew neither of them really wanted to. And she knew it wouldn't work until they started to talk about it. "I do," she said softly as she pulled away from the kiss, color filling her cheeks again. What she wanted in life was a fairytale romance, but then trouble in the form Alex Gaskarth happened. "I love you too. Doesn't change the fact that... well, right now... Lisa's kind of a problem and we need to discuss what you're going to do - and if I need to go."

"What? No, you don't need to go. Stay," he said, a bit shocked and put off. He pulled her onto his lap, tangling a hand into her hair. Her long legs crossed slightly, letting him know she wasn't going to do anything with him until they talked it out. He sighed, knowing that after three months of sneaking around, Taylor wanted to know where this was going. She was that kind of girl, the kind of girl that was a relationship girl. He wanted to give her romance and at his core, he loved giving romance and being sweet on Taylor - especially considering how much she appreciated it. "Alright, I know, I know. I want to be with you and I know you like to be all open with your relationships. But... I dunno. It's scary," he admitted. "I've never not been with Lisa and suddenly... you've come in and shaken that up and I want to, but..."

Taylor sighed as she curled her fingers up against his chest, her blue eyes looking up to his wide brown eyes. He honestly wanted to make it work. "You know, I don't want to be the bossy girlfriend... but you kind of need to break up with Lisa. Or break up with me. As far as I know, I don't want to be in a polygamous relationship. Even if Lisa feels differently, I don't," she said softly, shaking her head. "But... the nights I get to spend with you are a lot better than the ones I don't get to spend with you. So... if you did pick Lisa over me... I'd miss you. And just so you know, you'd get a good song written about you," she teased.

Alex laughed, shaking his head. "Yes, that's my biggest fear. Getting a song about what a douche I am," he joked, lightly biting at her lip - causing her to giggle softly. "But... you're right... and well... I guess when you put it like that, I'd pick you," he said, flipping her onto her back with a small grin, nipping at her neck softly. She gasped softly, smiling as her hands reach up to tangle into his hair.

"So that means you'll be single tomorrow," she asked with a giggle as he nodded, kissing her softly.

Notes