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I'll Tell You Stories Bruised & Blue

Where Were You When You Were Here?

"Jessie?"

It was such a beautiful day. So warm, with big, white fluffly clouds dancing in the clear, blue sky. There was a cool breeze blowing through the air, making the weeks I was currently laying in rustle around me. For the first time in a long time, I was at ease, in a peaceful state that made everything around me just fade away. If I could have laid there forever, I would've.

"My independence is turning the page, tomorrow comes, we start to fade. My independence only complicates, it's not enough to meet half way."

Gravel was crunching around me. I could tell there was someone there, and they were staring at me, but it didn't concern me enough to make me sit up and question what they were doing. Instead, I continued to sing, losing myself in the world around me.

"You'll have to carve me, carve me from stone, right to the bone or I'll end up alone. Playing the role of someone in control..."

A darkness fell over me, and for a moment, I thought it was real. Then I realize the footsteps had ended, the shadow was casted by whoever was standing over me. I fought to open my eyes, and when I did, all the breath in my lungs instantly escaped my mouth. Alex was standing over top of me, his beautiful hair shining from the sunlight, while his brows were raised in confusion. I could only guess that seeing a teenage girl trying to sing herself to sleep at the edge of the road was a bit of a mind fuck. I smiled at the idea and pulled myself off the ground.

"Whoa," Alex breathed, looking into my eyes. "Are you stoned?"

"No, not at the moment. I'm just tired."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"I don't remember."

Alex's face fell into a look of concern. He wrapped an arm around my waist and began pulling me towards the red pick-up truck I loved so much. I probably should have been concerned with the aches in my body or the burning in my eyes, but I could focus on nothing more than the electricity in his fingers touching my lower back.

"Where's Steph?"

"I don't know," I glanced to to where Dennis' explorer usually sat, but it was gone. "I hadn't even realized they'd left."

"Are you.. Are you sure you're not high, Jess?"

"No." I forced a smile. "I'm not even sure what I'm doing anymore."

"Oh. Well, I was just coming off to talk to Stephanie when I saw you in the grass... I should probably stay, though, till she gets back to take care of you."

I do not like being treated like a child. It truthfully gets under my skin and pisses me off more than just about anything else in this universe. Alex had no right to distrub my almost-slumber and tell me that someone needed to keep an eye on me. I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the moment to pass. I needed to pull myself out of this confusion. Remembering where Steph went would help, waking up would be a bonus, but speaking like I actually understood what I was saying would be my best bet.

"Could you excuse me for a moment?"

"I, uh?"

Always, I let myself down. It was just another thing I had grown used to. When I became restless and cranky, there was only one thing that could remind me that I still had to be myself. When my word was blurred with tears or I began to confuse dreams and reality, I had to reel myself back in the only way I knew how. Everyone has a release, but since I was constantly sourrounded by people who expected something different from me, my options were limited. Besides, I'd become glued to one thing since I was eleven, and I had no intentions of giving it up anytime soon.

I stepped into Steph's bedroom and glanced around at the mess. My bag was under the bed, and inside of that bag was an empty pack of cigarettes, inside of that empty pack was a blade. I'll spare you the details of my wounded flesh, but remind you that I constantly wore bands up to my forearm. The torn skin would be hidden by the bright colors. No one, as usual, would ever know.

Following the blood spill, I stepped into the bathroom to grab a towel. With one end, I cleaned up the drops that I had left on Steph's floor, with the other end, I scrubbed my face. By the time I'd finished, my skin was pink, but my eyes were a lot less blood-shot than they were only moments ago. I applied a large amount of eyeliner and turned away from myself. I hated the girl I always saw in the mirror. I wish she had the guts to step out of the glass, just so I could stab her.

Next, I went into the kitchen. I grabbed two beers from the fridge and made my way back outside. The heat felt a lot better on my bare skin. I was more awake, more alert, which meant Alex probably wouldn't keept treating me like the mental case I truly was. I made myself smile brightly and extended my arm to offer Alex the beer. He tilted his head to the side and smiled at me, taking his beer to open it.

"That was quick," he commented, motioning to my face. "You look like you just drank ten cups of coffee."

"Perhaps I did, Alexander."

"Don't call me that," he was quick to draw the line. Then, suddenly, his mood shifted. "What's Jess short for? Jessica?"

"Sadly," I shrugged. "If you promise not to call me that, I won't call you by your full name."

"Deal."

"So, uh," Alex scratched the back of his head. "Do, erm- Nevermind."

"No, what?"

"It's nothing, really," he offered me a crooked grin. "I should get going. Thanks for the beer, Jess. See you later."

"Don't you want to wait for Steph?"

"Huh?" He turned around, staring into my deep brown eyes. "No, no, I'll just come by later."

"Are you sure you're okay, Alex?"

"Yeah, just." He laughed lightly and I could tell he was going to keep avoiding whatever it was he wanted to say. "You should drink that beer and take a nap." Alex leaned in to me, planting a gentle kiss on my cheek. "I'd like to see how pretty you are when you're rested."

Two seconds later, he was running towards the gravel road, while I was left speechless and lonely. It was going to be a long day, waiting for his return.

Notes

Wnat to see more of this story? Tell me about it.

Comments

@BreakingJessie_x
Lol yes sequel!!!!!! :D <33333
@I Got The Guts To Say Anything

LOL. I fucking love you. Now go find the sequel! hahahaha. <3.
Ahhsshshaiajfdk you scared the shit out if me!! I thought you were sayin the story was gonna be deleted I was like THE FUCK ?! But I can now calm down because I get it now :P
@singmetosleep

<3.
sequelsequelsequelsequelsequelsequelsequelsequelsequelsequel
singmetosleep singmetosleep
9/1/13