"Shew, Kristen, just got inside!"

I was sitting on my four-wheeler, switching my lights from bright to dim and watching the glow change agasint the darkness of the trees. It wasn't totally dark yet, there was still some light coming from the sun but it would only be a matter of time before the mountains devoured that speck of light. I didn't mind this because I enjoyed riding at night time, it was Stephanie who didn't like it. She was always so worried that something would come out of the woods at her, forcing me to drive quickly when we were in areas away from houses. That's exactly why she was trying to make Kristen go inside, so that she could claim her place as my backseat driver. I didn't mind that too much. I was getting sick of riding through the same path across the road, the place I was most comfortable to take Kris on the days she acted out, because I knew if Kelly came yelling for her, I'd better have her there in two seconds. Reluctantly, Kristen climbed off the back of my quad and dragged her small feet through the grass. She was wearing a pout while Steph took her place wearing happiness.

I laughed lightly to myself and switched the lights to bright. There was no way around using them now, as there was more darkness in the sky than daylight. I waited until I heard the familiar ding of Stephanie's ring hitting the bars, when I knew she was holding on tightly, and kicked my four-wheeler into gear. We remained at a slow pace until we reached the connecting gravel road. It was filled with curves and bumps, but I'd been driving my 'baby' since Iwas ten. There wasn't a task I couldn't own on her. Once we disappeared out of sight from the first house on that road, I quickly got her into fifth gear. With that, we were gone.

Stephanie held on tightly, laughing loudly as we spun around a crurve. My lights were bouncing off the trees, while my eyes were leaking water because of how quickly the wind was smacking me in the face. It seemed to only take two seconds to drive the mile down that road, where I turned around to head back the way we came. When it was late, we tried not to go too far because we didn't want to lose our rights to ride here. We were just coming back up to where houses were located when a car came flying out of nowhere, ending up only a foot from the back of my four-wheeler. Steph shot up, wrapping her arms around my waist in case the idiot were to rear end me. With anger in my gut, I turned around to look at the car. Silver, freshly cleaned, I could see that. I turned the wheel so that my tires were almost off of the road, giving the stranger a chance to pass and leave us alone. They didn't take it.

Whoever they were, they were pulling up beside us and flashing their brights. I was getting more irritated by the second. I pulled completely over and put my four-wheeler in first gear, that way if we had to take off, it'd be easier. Steph held the brake while I stood up, staring into the lights of the car with anger written all over my flesh.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Think you're all big and bad, trying to take out two girls on a four-wheeler with your ugly, piece of shit car? Come on," I motioned for the person to get out. "You really wanna fuck with us, get out. Because you crossed a line."

The car floored it. As their tail lights began to fade, they left us sitting in a mess of dust. Poor Stephanie was coughing her head off, but I was still pissed. I hopped back on my four-wheeler and took off, looking for the ignorant son of a bitch. I found them, turning into a driveway, and I was ready to have my revenge. The driver, who I couldn't really see, was getting out of the car. There were a few people climbing out of the back, too, but when I came flying at them like a bat out of Hell, they sat back down and closed the doors. Stephanie held on tightly as I kicked it into their gear, wrapping my fingers around the brakes and pushing the gas as far as my thumb could go. Dust instantly started flying. I could tell from the way the quad was jumping that I was also digging up some rocks. With that in mind, I fishtailed, hard. Everything building up under my tires went flying, even more when I whipped it around in a full circle. I could hear things hitting the back of the car. The owner was yelling at me, but this only fed my ego.

"That's what you get," I cried. "You fuck with my baby, I'll fuck with yours!"

With that, we left. It was a short ride back to her house and we found ourselves dying of laughter. Naturally, Steph was afraid that we'd get in some kind of trouble, but I believe that idea is what made it so exciting for me. Once we pulled into her driveway, I killed the hum of my yellow manual, however, we weren't ready to call it a night yet. Steph tossed me the spare key she always carried for the pick-up truck. Her Daddy never minded when we took it out, knowing that we were safer in the truck than we were on the four-wheeler.

We were just about to turn down the road we'd just left when I saw the same car from before speeding to the end of the road. I stopped, not caring, in the middle of the road. Said car pulled up just before the pavement on the main street, meeting with another vehicle. I could see many figures standing with him, but it was the face I saw crawling out of the passenger's side of that car that really ticked me off. Pulling in like I owned the place, I pulled the keys out of the truck. Stephanie remained seated, nervous as to how I get when I'm pissed. I allowed myself to walk up into the middle of this group, cocking my head to the side so I could better glare at the driver of the silver car. He was taller than I, with blonde hair that fell into his eyes. I smirked.

"So you think it's funny, do you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You think it's funny to fuck with people when they're driving?"

All color drained from his face. It was in that moment that he realized who I was.

"Look, we were just goofing."

"I don't give two fucks what you were doing." I turned my attention to the other boy, the one who had been with him the whole time. Alex's face went pale and he backed away from me. "And let me tell you something, pretty boy. It doesn't end well when someone goes from my good side, to my bad. You are lucky my best friend is sitting in that car, because if it wasn't for how timid she is, I'd throw that bitch in drive and watch your skull crack under my tire, do you understand me? Now what I'm going to do is get back in the truck, go home and drink a beer. What I expect is to never see your faces near that driveway again. Furthmore, should we meet on the road like this again, it would be in your best interest to be the bigger person and keep going."

No one spoke as I climbed back into the truck, no one moved when I began backing out and they all watched closely as I slowly made the drive back to Steph's house. I pulled the keys out and tossed them to Stephanie, who was so pale you'd think she'd seen a ghost. My small best friend climbed out of the pick-up and instantly went to let the back down, where we both sat in a comfortable silence until her step-mom came to join us.

Kelly was a few inches taller than I. She had blonde hair, thick glasses and plump lips. It's reallly no wonder Stephanie's thirty-something-year-old father had picked a riped twenty-five-year-old. She was sweet, a great listener, but she was also crazy. She handed Stephanie and I our drinks of choice and lit a joint in the night air.

"You guys were gone for a while," Kelly commented, passing the joint to me. "Was starting to get worried."

"Just dealing with a bunch of idiots," I smiled, taking a hit and passing it to my best friend. "Everything is fine."

"I figured. I only have a minute. Kris is fighting going to bed."

"She always is," Stephanie giggled, puffing and passing.

A short-lived silence fell over us again. However, when Kristen began yelling through the house, Kelly handed me the joint and started to head back in the house. She stopped on the porch long enough to ask Stephanie to help her, because Kristen would do better with someone to talk to before she fell alseep. Stephanie groaned, but agreed, leaving me in that dark place with my thoughts again.

The buzz of the street lamp coming from Hannah's house was my only company. I pressed the joint to my lip again and inhaled my sweet escape. It was so strange how suddenly a person could stragne. I realized this when I was eleven. I went from being the good girl who never did anything wrong, to the self-abusive, pot-smoking, recreational drinker. Of course, everything I did came from a life time of built up stress, but over the years it had gotten worse. I could feel myself slipping further down in a dark hole, big enough for only me, and I knew in time no one would be able to pull me out of it. In some sick way, this brought me comfort, knowing the end was near. On the other hand, I wanted so badly to feel like normal people do, like life has so much more to offer and I shouldn't allow myself to get buried alive. That took too much strength, strength I didn't have when I was on my own.

I could hear the sound of his voice in my head. It seemed so distant, almost like a bad dream. His deep, dark eyes were burning holes in my head. So perfectly broken, so torn beyond repair. He haunted me every minute of the day, but it was when I was alone that he really got to me. My eyes sqeezed shut tightly. The joint I had been smoking was almost gone, so with no other way to escape, I held the flickering ember to my palm. With as much pressure as I could manage on the fire, it ceased. The pain was mild, nothing I couldn't handle, but it just wasn't enough. When the world fell asleep, I would fix this.

"Didn't that hurt?"

Reality was standing right in front of me, his face blank and apologetic. He was a brave young man for coming around so soon. I snorted, dropping the ashes onto the grass, but I shoved the roach into my cigarette pack, since I was going to light one up anyway. Alex watched me closely as I brought the filter to my mouth, almost dazed.

"I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but don't ignore me."

"Excuse me, I didn't think I needed to speak to a guy who thought it was funny to try and run me off the road."

"We weren't trying to do that. Zack had just taken some.. Well, stuff.."

"What'd he take?"

"Pills, but that's beside the point."

"Give me one."

"What makes you think I'm holding?"

"Alex, either give me one or leave."

He seemed conflicted. I could tell he wanted to stick around, but he didn't want me to put whatever it was in my body. He complied, though, handing over a yellow-ish colored pill. I recognized it instantly. I would never confess to this, but it had been my means to happiness two years ago.

"You don't look like the type to pop a seroquel, Alex."

"How- How do you know what that is?"

"This is the real happy pill. I thought everyone knew that?"

"Is that what you meant about honesty being crazy earlier?"

"No, not at all. I'm not on seroquel unless I'm bored."

"Oh, well that's good." He awkwardly sat beside me, not really knowing if I was going to allow him to stay. "I really do want to apologize for earlier. I would never want to compromise our friendship."

"Come off it, Alex," I laughed, placing the pill on my tongue so I could dry swallow it. "Today was the first time we've ever hung out. It's not like we're bff's."

"But we could be," he stared at me with hopeful eyes. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"If you must."

"I came over here today because I wanted to meet you. Really meet you. Every single time I've seen you, you seem like your lost in your own little world. When you're laughing and talking with everyone here, it's like your physically here, but the smile on your face is so far away. And then there are the times that I've come by just to see you sitting alone, maybe under the tree or in the driveway, writing in some little book and looking dazed. I have so many questions about you and I knew if I didn't start to get to know you now, I never would."

How on Earth had Alex, a total stranger, caught sight of my lost soul when those who I remained closest to rarely took notice? How had he been able to see through my mask? As I started into those dark eyes, the street lame creating a sparkle in them, I realized what captivated me so much about him. I was afraid of Alex, afraid of the truth he could see.

"I know this sounds absolutely crazy, Jessie, but.. When I look into your eyes, it's like I can see that something's missing."

I'm not sure why, but his words cut me right open. It was possibly the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to, or about me. I tore my eyes away from him and fought back the sting of tears. I needed to find some way to stop letting this stranger see my deepest secrets.

"Let me be here for you, Jessie. Just let me be your friend, please?"

"I never said I didn't want to be your friend. I just need you to stop analyzing me."

"Fine, I'll stop. I just need to see you. I feel like I've got this.. This strange connection to you. Please, let me stick around."

"All right, geeze," I smiled, feeling the tears dry up. "But don't expect me to tell you my life story."

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe."

I half-smiled. My heart, despite my best efforts, was excited to start this new friendship. My mind, however, told me to put the gate up and lock him out. I didn't know what to do, or which part of my body to believe, so I did the only thing I could with the pill kicking in. I rested my head on his shoulder, praying that tonight I'd finally catch some sleep.

Notes

Wrote this in my sleepless state last night, so I apologize for all of its suckiness. Thank you to everyone who has voted, commented and subscribed so far. You guys are just wonderful! <3.
You're going to have to take some time in a few chapters to get know my character, that way you can better understand Alex later. Also, I'm going to start pulling the other members into it, so don't give up hope yet. Working on the next chapter now. Comments will get it up faster. Mucho love. <3.