I had always been a strange girl. Most of the time, I stayed trapped in my own little world, wanting nothing more than to turn the world off and catch a break for a while. This could often be a problem, as my mind was a very dark and dangerous place to be. It was mornings like this where I rarely found it comforting. I was in the middle of the gravel road, kicking rocks with my toes while my hand protected my nose from inhaling too much dust. I was on my stomach, staring blankly into the trees which were so neatly lined in front of me, while in the distance I could hear my best friend arguing with her little sister over something that had mild importance. I had one earbud pumping music into my head, and though I was certain Stephanie would be calling for me soon, I sang along with the voice that brought me so much happiness at the time.

"No real reason to accept the way, things have changed, I'm staring down the-"

"Jessie Ann, get your butt out of that road! You're gonna get hit by a car!"

Yes, it was the same tone she used with me everytime she caught me trying to catnap in the middle of the road. I was used to it, but the best part about her being so strict with me was that, I often managed to get her to come lay down with me. Today I was too mellow to shout back or even offer her a cozy spot on the warm ground with me. Instead, I leaned over and wrapped my fingers around the cool Bud Light placed just a few inches from my face. I lifted my head far enough to drink the beverage and sighed in relief when the liquid ran down the back of my throat. Still, with Steph calling for me in the background, I knew I should get up and face the day like a normal person. Sitting up with my beer still in hand, I grabbed my iPod and shoved it in the pocket of my shorts, slowly pulling myself from the ground to see how many stones were stuck in my leg. Thankfully, it was only one. I slid my feet back into the safety of my flip-flops and slowly began walking in her direction. I did, however, notice from the corner of my eye that the odd neighbor girl had been watching me. I smiled brightly in her diection and threw my thumb up, hoping that maybe I would make her uncomfortable enough to stop staring at me from the other side of the door.

"Is Hannah watching you again?" Rae questioned as I got close enough to hear her without yelling. "She can be so creepy sometimes, can't she?"

"Yeah," I nodded, taking the last swig of my beer and tossing the empty in the back of our faithful, old pick-up truck. "She's different, I'll give her that."

"Oh, like you're one to talk," Kristen called to me from the porch. She was cleary offended by something Stephanie had said to her. She crossed her tiny arms over her small chest and pouted. She sure did have an attitude for an eleven-year-old. "You're the weirdest person I ever met, Jessie!"

"Shh, darling," I smiled my sweetest smile, digging down in my pocket for the red and white pack. "You're going to grow up to be just like me one day. A sick, sad little freak."

"You can be mean, you know that?"

"Well my goodness, Kristen," I smirked, lighting the stick and inhaling deeply. "You insulted me first. Now go put your shoes on and I'll take you for a ride. Might make ya less cranky."

Her blue eyes lit up. Kris and I could be completely cruel to one another. She didn't see me as a guest, she saw me as a cool older sister. I didn't see her as just a little sister, I saw her as a confused girl who needed a lot of guidance that no one else could give her, so when she would get flustered or was forced to take medication for her ADHD, I'd do my best to make it a little easier on her, even if this meant I had to shoot one of her rude comments down with one that would hurt her even more. It would make her strong one day, and it would also make her realize that it isn't nice to tease someone the way she did when she was angry.

"You know Kelly probably won't let her go right now. She didn't clean her room."

"Yeah, but at least she knows the option is there. Maybe she's in there cleaning right now."

Stephanie shrugged her shoulders and sat on the back of the truck, opening up the cooler I had prepared earlier that day and taking out a Parrot Bay fruity flavored drink. My eyes flickered from her, to the road, where I could now see a figure inching towards the rocks. I put the cigarette to my lips and sucked in the smoke, amusement washing over me. I knew it was Hannah and I knew she was going to exactly what I had done. That girl always wanted to be in the spotlight. I didn't place myself in the center of the road for attention, frankly I didn't like to be bothered when I was having my quiet time. I liked to lay there because I knew it was risky. It was a small high for me, the relaxing kind that almost sets you free.

She took off running to the center of the street, tossing her arms in the air as she spun around. I heard Rae snort from beside and smirked.

"Think she's doing a bit much today," my best friend groaned. "But hey, if she gets hit, she asked for it."

"Quiet literally," I flicked the cherry from my cigarette and placed the butt on the back of the truck. I took a step forward, Steph now joining me from the back of the truck. There was a blue dirt bike flying in Hannah's direction, going much too fast to slow down. "Maybe if we're lucky, she'll learn her lesson..."

"Jessie!"

I sighed, watching the scene unfold in front of me. The bike was so close it was making the gravel move, yet there stood Hannah, hopping around the road with her arms above her head. Honestly, I felt a small pang in my stomach. I feared that she may actually get hurt, just for attention, and I feared the driver may be injured over her stupidity. Hannah started to cry out the word 'come on,' as the bike got close enough to try and brake. I winced as the back wheel slid out from under the driver, while his hands tried to squeeze the brakes hard enough to slow the machine. Hannah jumped out of the way before the back wheel could catch her. The driver finally got control of the spinning wheel and let the back roll into Steph's driveway. Hannah took a step away as the person moved closer to her. It was easy to see they were angry.

The helmet went flying from his head, making his flowing hair smack him in the face. He tossed the protective gear into Steph's yard, having it land only a few inches from my feet. I rose an eyebrow as I watched him close in on her, his face pink with rage.

"Were you trying to get us both killed, you crazy fucking bitch?"

Hannah kicked her leg out and shook her head, trying to cover up her fear with confidence.

"No, just me," she hissed. "You should have just hit me."

"Gladly," he spat back while shaking his head. "Only, I value my own life a little more than that. You better hope that didn't do any real damage to the bike, because little John will take it right out of your ass."

"Whatever," Hannah grumbled, walking back toward her house. "Thanks for nothing!"

Perhaps I was just strage, but there was something attractive about his anger. Maybe it was the way he carried himself, or the fact that he wasn't shy about telling Hannah that he should have hit her. A smile grew on my face as he turned on his heel, that same beautiful face that caught my attention on the bus was heading in our direction. Stephanie stood up as tall as she could, seeing as he was clearly tall enough to tower over her, and we both watched with no words as he lifted the bike and rolled it down to where we were standing. Most of the anger had gone from his blood as he stepped closer. To avoid staring too long or smiling too much, I bent over and picked up the helmet, holding it out away from my body so he could snatch it away from me. To my confusion, however, he propped the bike up and stood there staring at me with a cheesey grin.

"I hope that didn't hit you. I noticed you guys, I was just too pissed to think that I may have hurt you."

"No, no. You're fine. Stopped just before it hit my toes."

Alex grinned, taking it from my fingers so he could put it on the seat. A soft wind blew past us, making his hair twist around his forehead. I was so certain that day on the bus that I would never forget his face, but standing outside in our freedom on a perfect day, watching his strands get pulled away by his fingers, I knew this moment would easily replace that one.

"She's always been a bit insane, hasn't she?" Alex looked at Stephanie, smirking when he noticed a blush come to her lips. "I've seen you hang out with her. I really hope she doesn't rub off on you."

"It's not me you have to be worried about," Stephanie admitted. "It's Jessie trying to kill her. The only reason she went out in the road to begin with was because Jessie was trying to take a nap out there earlier. Ten bucks says tomorrow she's gonna try and drink beer, too!"

I snickered, watching as a confused expression came to Alex's face. I could see deep thoughts swimmingn in his brain, but he looked at me with such a blank face that I almost felt bad about myself. Had I done something wrong already?

"You were trying to sleep... In the middle of the road? Are you fucking crazy?"

"Honestly? Yeah. I find it peaceful out there."

Alex nodded, but I could tell there was more he wanted to say. He let it go, though, and walked around to the side of the truck. At first, I wondered what he could possibly be doing, since he was still quiet a stranger to us, but when he returned with a plastic chair in his hand, I couldn't help but smile. Oh yes, he was confident. Confident enough to invite himself to join us. But then again, the boy just almost got his ass kicked by a dirt bike. I'd take a breather, too.

"So you're a beer drinker, huh?" He eyed me, that crooked smirk back on his lips. "Aren't you too young for that?"

"You're one to talk," I argued back, grabbing Steph's wrist so I could pull her to the truck. "You don't look much older than I am."

"I never said I drank."

This was true. His words left me feeling defeated, so I plucked open the top to the cooler and pulled out another beer. That would take the pressure off of this moment. It always did. I tossed the cap in the back of the truck and chugged as much as I could without choking. I had failed to notice that I bumped the bottom of the glass, causing a valcano effect on my drink. Alex and Stephanie snickered, leaving me even more flustered.

"I do drink, Jessie," he smiled. I tried to fight it, but I found myself feeling swooned by the way he said my name. "And since I just almost ran over a crazy chick, I'd like one of those, if you don't mind."

"You can have one," Stephanie spoke fast and loud. She was so cute when she was nervous. "But first you have to tell us how old you are. That way you can't make fun of my best friend anymore."

"I wasn't making fun of her, I was making conversation," Alex shrugged. "I'm sixteen."

"Ha, see there!" Stephanie pulled the beer out for him, holding it more carefully than I had done with mine. "We're fourteen. Suck on that, hoe."

"Hey, I'm not a hoe!" Alex laughed, gladly taking the beer from her fingers. "I see you guys a lot when I go buy shit from T.J., and I've always wondered what it is that keeps you guys so happy. Everytime I go by, you're out here laughing like a bunch of fools. It always seemed so inviting. I guess that's why I'm here today. You don't mind, do you, Stephanie?"

"Uh-" There she goes, doing that thing she does when she can't think. I could tell she was trying to think of the right words to say. Of course she didn't mind. He was fucking gorgeous. It was her Daddy who might bring out the gun. "Not at all. It's a little weird that you've seen us, though. I've never seen you walk by."

"Well that's because I'm not walking. I'm always riding with my buddy Zack. You met him yet?"

"No," Stephanie frowned. Typically when I wasn't around, her social life was slim to none, which she always felt bad about. What friends she did have, aside from me, usually bailed on her to hang out with her super cool step-mom. "I'm usually over at Amanda's when Jessie isn't here."

"But she's always here," Alex laughed, sending me a glance. "So what do ya'll do for fun?"

"Ride." I spoke without thinking. Alex roes an eyebrow and I realized he was confused as to what I meant. "You know, we take my four-wheeler out, or we take ole red for a spin." I smacked the truck. "But if we're not doing that, we usually have the same means of fun as you do, what with T.J. being involved."

Alex grinned. His chocolate eyes seemed to be at battle with my much darker ones. It was almost as if he were challenging me, to see if I was really who I claimed to be. I was sad to say someone came sneaking up on us that broke our locked eyes, and even more sad to say that he left me curious about myself. These were things I'd never felt before.

My eyes trailed to the person who had ruined our moment and I instantly recognized him as my stalker from school. He was always so shy, never brave enough to speak to me, but it seemed every turn I took he was there with a blush and a smile.

"John, look, about your bike-" Alex tossed John the keys, honestly looked ashamed of what had happened. "It wasn't my fault. It was that crazy girl next door, she tried to wreck me. I looked at it, there's no damage, I just feel horrible."

"Don't worry about it, bro," John said. I think it was the first time I really heard him talk. "Shit happens. I just didn't expect to find you here, that's what this face is for."

Stephanie and I both laughed as John pulled on his chunky cheeks. He was a short boy, probably came to my eyebrows, and he was adorably chunky. His blonde hair made his green eyes pop and the nervousness on his fade made him look like a teddy bear.

"I'm John, by the way," he walked up to us with his arm held out. "Nice to meet you pretty ladies."

Stephanie took his hand with a giggle. "I'm Stephanie. You can call me Steph, or Rae."

"I know who you are, you creepy fuck," I smirked, grazing his hand with my own. "You gonna stalk me here, too?"

"I'm sorry for that.." John looked away, blushing. "You were just too pretty to talk to."

"Awe!" Alex cried out, leaving us all smiling. "He thinks you're purty! He's right, too."

I hid my face in my hands, confused by my own actions. I had never believed a compliment in my entire life, but the way the words rolled off of Alex's tongue left me melting. I suppose that's why all the girls had been so giddy on the bus- He was a smooth talker. That thought alone instantly sent my guard up. This boy was not going to get into my head as he'd done so many others.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," John punched Alex in the arm. "Your girlfriend scares the crap out of me."

I knew when I heard the word 'girlfriend' that my gut was right. There was a reason a red flag went up. Then again, it's not like he was really flirting with me. Why would he? We'd only just met. Maybe I'd been drinking my beer too fast that day.

"You won't have to worry about that for much longer. I think I'm going to break up with her. It's just not the same as it used to be."

Upon hearing the start of a personal conversation, I turned my attention to Steph, who had already been looking my way. She seemed both happy and sad, something odd for her to feel. It had to have something to do with the best friend connection we shared. Surely she knew I actually accepted Alex's compliment, for once gaining a little confidence about myself, only to have it shot down by one word. She leaned behind her and handed me the pack of cigarettes I'd left on the back of the truck, knowing me well enough to know when I needed my fix. Taking the pack from her hand, I slipped a stick into my mouth and lit with happiness.

"She smokes, too," Alex was watching me again. "You're a little ahead of your years, aren't you? All jokes aside."

"My age doesn't define me. I am who I am, I like what I like. 'Nuff said."

Stephanie placed a warm hand on my shoulder. She knew perfectly well the things that had happened in my past to make me the person I was today. From the squeeze in her fingertips, I could tell she was trying to be protective of me, and if Alex were to say one more word about my actions she'd give him an ear full. Moments like that were what kept me going- The times I was reminded that I did, in fact, matter to someone. I leaned my head on her shoulder and smiled in her direction.

Alex never took his brown eyes off me, not even when a voice echoed through the trees, screaming his name. It was I who averted the awkwardness this time, glancing into the woods that devided this house from the house next door. There was a boy standing there, tall and lanky, with a blonde streak running through his messy hair. He beamed in our direction, jumping up and down with his arms high above his head, much like Hannah had done earlier.

"Alexander, is that you?"

"Yes, and don't fucking call me that!"

The boy took off running towards us, falling over his feet every few steps. He was like a small child on crack, I couldn't help but giggle. Even with the slip ups, it only took him a moment to join in our little circle. He pulled John into a hug, then Alex.

"Who are we talking to?"

"This," Alex grabbed the boy by the shoulders and spun him around to face us. "Is Stephanie and Jessie. I told you a new girl lived down here and we should go say hey."

"Well, hey!" The boy grinned. He pulled me into an incredibly awkward hug, and then he grabbed Stephanie, holding her tightly. "I'm Jack. I'm Alex's best friend. Are you two best friends? We should all be best friends!"

"Calm down, Jack, you're gonna scare them off."

"Right." Jack nodded, stepping away from us slowly. "Listen, Alex, I hate to break this up but we have to go. Zack and Rian are waiting. But you two," he pointed to Stephanie and myself. "We should hang out again. Its been fun."

Stephanie and I both stared at him. No, we hadn't really hung out with him, but his energy was something I could get used to. Alex and John were both laughing. Having been friends with him, I'm sure they were used to his wacky personality. Stephanie pulled on my arm, motioning that she wanted a second to speak to me alone. With Alex putting his chair back and John climbing on his bike, I knew we could spare it.

"They're really cute," she whispered. "Like, really cute."

"Aren't they?" I giggled. "So you think we should see them again?"

"Totally."

It was a short conversation, but as teenage girls when we got excited, we had to express it. Turning back on our heels, we waved Jack off, watching his dust fly as he left the driveway. That left only Jack and Alex, who I assumed would be making the walk back to where they'd come from. From the sounds of John's bike flying down the road, I could only guess it was a really long walk.

"I didn't mean to freak you guys out," Jack fronwed, scratching the back of his head. "I just get excited sometimes.."

"We thought it was cute," I smiled. From the corner of my eye, I could see Alex chugging his almost full beer. "You guys really should come back sometime. We've enjoyed this."

"You sure?" Jack questioned. "Because once we start hanging out, we won't leave. We're like puppies, feed us once and we're hooked."

"Consider yourselves fed."

The boy smiled. By this time, Alex had sat his empty bottle on the back of the truck and was beginning his journey home. Jack was right by his side as they started to walk through the grass to the gravel road. They had only made it to the oak tree just a few feet from us when Alex turned around, a serious but sweet look in his eyes.

"I think we're going to be really good friends," he said to me, but allowed his eyes to flicker to Steph so as to keep her involved. "See you around."

I watched him walk away, hearing Rae digging in the cooler behind me. I never believed until this moment that two people could, as they say, 'hit it off.' Even when I met the girl standing behind me, I hated her. We had to get past dislike to get where we are today. It left me wondering, what was so special about this stranger? Was it the fact that he took interest in me when I didn't even take interest in myself, or was it the way he looked at me like I was a challenge? Or could it even have something to do with the fact that, as he walked along the gravel road, I would catch him looking back at me with a smile, knowing that I was still standing there watching him walk away? Whatever it was, I knew I had to dig myself out of his trance. There was only one person I cared to be close to. The bubbly blonde opening another Parrot Bay behind me.

"He has a girlfriend, Jessie," Stephanie poked me, pulling me from my thoughts. "Snap out of it."

"I know he does," I breathed, finally taking my eyes away from his back. "I'm not interested in him. I'm just.. I want something to look forward to."

"I'm ready for my ride!" A little girl jumped on my back, forcing me to stumble a little bit. She had my keys in her hand and she was smiling like I'd never seen her smile before. Little did I know, getting on my four-wheeler that day would send my world in a whole different direction.

　

Notes

This is part one. Had to cut it in half. Wasn't going to post, but the little bit of love this story has gotten made me happy, haha. For the record, I wouldn't mind some more feedback. Makes my heart smile and such.. Oh, and while I've got you here: If I were to start a writing contest, would you be interested in joining? I've been thinkin' on that for a while and I really want to do it. So, yeah, hit me uppp. Mucho love!<3.

*Sorry for my lack of editing. I need sleep so badly.