This house was so empty, so lonely. Nothing has been the same for the past three days, not since Dennis packed up the girls and left the state with them. I knew Rae would be back when the funeral was over, but until then, I had my own sorrows to wallow in. Sitting on the floor in Kristen's room, I could hear Kelly in her bedroom sorting through things for no real reason. I zipped up my bag and shoved a pill in my mouth, hoping it would ease the pain of the long journey ahead of me.


As planned, my mother pulled up to the house early Thursday morning. Alex had promised he'd be here to send me off, but I guess seven in the morning was a task he couldn't manage. So I bid farewell to Kells and climbed in the car, sitting in the back since my sister had the front seat. We began our trip in silence, my heart nearly thudding out of my chest.
Three piss stops, one food break and five hours later, I was back in the town my Daddy lived in. It was a shithold to say the least. Drugs had totally taken over this place and that's exactly why my mother made us move so many years ago. Funny how the problem still lagged behind. We were staying at my grandma's house, my dad's mom, and I could tell just by looking at her that she was drugged out of her mind. It was probably for the best, though. After my dad died she tried to run her car off of a bridge.


My sister and I ended up getting plastered that night and laying on the side of the bridge, daring the wind to blow too hard so we could fall to our deaths. Evenutally we gave up on the hope that we'd accidently die and went back to the house to sleep the booze off. Everything went as planned the next day. We woke up early, dressed as nice as we could with our hangover and drove the hour to town where we'd have to sit in a court room with people we hated.


They read through the list of things that would go to who. My sister and I were rewarded a decent amount of money each, though we asked the judge to keep it. Apparently this had been in my father's will and we were obligated to take it. When court was over, my grandma completely broke down before we could even get her in the car. She threatened to kill a certain someone and had to be held back by my grandpa as pills were shoved down her throat.


Mom made us leave them there, because she said it wasn't healthy for us kids to see that. We went by my dad's grave and poured beer over the dirt, giving him a toast. From there, we did the usual 'break down in tears and try to break everything,' dance. Needless to say, I wasn't have a very good day.


When we left my dad's grave, we drove back through the shit town that is Iaeger. I knew, in my gut, by all the cars we were behind that Steph was near. She'd called to tell me they were going to bury her grandfather today but I wasn't quiet sure where her grandma lived. That's why when I saw the blonde crying in a yard, I made my mom slam on the brakes. I climbed out of the back of the Trans Am and let myself into the yard, my arms instantly falling around Steph's body.


"It's funny how even when something happens five hours away, I can still get to you," I mumbled into her hair. "Come on, baby, get up."


My mom honked the horn, but I simply put my hand in the air to tell her to keep going. I dragged my best friend through the house and led her to the living room, where thankfully no one was at. Obviously, I'd never been here before. Rae told me when we first met a few years back that her family was from West Virginia and I later found out that we came from the same town. Almost fate for us to be friends, I think. Her family knew mine and everyone knew who my dad was. My family were kind of the trouble makers of the town, the dudes you didn't want to fuck with. I guess you could say if you had my last name, you were a big deal here. It used to be cool when my dad was around, when everyone could just look at me and call me by my last name without even seeing my dad, but not it just fucking hurt.


"We just left the funeral," Steph murmured into my shoulder. "This is the worst pain I've ever felt."


"Trust me, angel, I understand."


"I'm so sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry that I didn't realize this is how you felt. I've lost people before, but never anyone so close. I can't imagine how you felt, how you still feel. I'm such a bad friend!"


"No, hun, you're not. When I got home from school that day, what did I do? I mean, aside from lose my shit, I called you. I called you and your entire family showed up. You broke down with me in the back yard. You are anything but a bad friend."


"It just never made any sense like it does now. Why you drink, why you're so careless. Jessie you're a fucking broken record."


"That's not true," I frowned. "I'm not stuck on repeat. I face everyday in a new light, even if it seems dark."


"When are you going home?"


"I hope tonight, honestly. I can't take being here. I swear, I see him everywhere I go."


"Can I come with you?"


"If you Daddy says yes, of course you can."


She nodded into my shoulder and let her tears freely fall. It hurt like Hell when I lost my dad, but I swear it hurt even more to watch my best friend suffer. She was my glue - Without her strength I might damn well fall apart. I know that everyone sees me as the strong one, the one that keeps everyone going, but it's not true. I'd be nothing without my own strength.
I held her until her tears started to subside. My shirt was soaked with her tears, but I didn't mind. By the time she gathered herself I could hear the clatter of people making food in the kitchen. I'd almost forgotten they were here. Stephanie let out a sharp breath and grabbed a tissue out of the box on the table, cleaning her face off. She flashed me a gentle smile and hugged me tightly.


"Jessie? When did you get here?"


Pulling away from the hug, I brushed some hair away from my face and smiled at Dennis.


"We were coming back from court and shit when I saw Rae outside. You know me, I had to stop..."


"Where's your mom?"


"Probably back at my grandpa's house," I shrugged. "It's okay, I can walk home. I think Steph can make it through the night now."


"No, I'm glad you're here. I was just about to ruin Stephanie's day. Let me get my shoes, I'll meet you guys in the car."


Steph looked at me with scared out, but I shook my head and pushed her out of the front door. I mean, fucking really, when does it end? When will the universe stop being a dick and just let us be? I couldn't take anymore. Not one more fucking thing. I was going to lose it.


"If he give us one more piece of bad news," I slammed the back door, Rae squishing in beside me. "I'm going to make him stop this car so I can scream to the top of my fucking lungs."


"Right there with ya."


We waited patiently until Dennis made his way to the car, starting up the engine and pulling off towards a house I used to call my third home. The car came to a stop at the train tracks, though, since one was about to cross. With this, Dennis turned around and cleared his throat. Here goes nothing, I guess.


"Michael called me," he started, averting his gaze. Michael, as I now knew, was Steph's uncle. Not by blood, but by heart. "He said some shit has been going on at home."


"Oh God."


"Steph, when we get back to Virginia, you and Kristen are going to stay with Jessie until I get this shit sorted out."


"What shit, Dennis?" I asked, not minding that my best friend would come to Hell with me. "What happened?"


"You mean apart from Kelly getting every kid in the neighbor hood drunk? She has somehow managed to get us kicked out of our place and rumor has it that she was caught in bed with.."


"W-With?"


"Alex and Jack."


I put my hand up as my eyes closed, my fingers feeling around for the door handle. When I found it, I felt Steph crawl out behind me. I didn't care that traffic was backed up due to the train. Walking in a circle, I gripped my hair as tight as I could and let my knees bend into my voice. The scream that left my throat was almost the exact scream I let out when my mom told me my dad was dead. My throat felt raw two seconds into it, my lungs felt like they were going to rip open and I was sure I had clumps of hair in my hand.


This is where I draw the line.

Notes

Put your boots on, loves. We're about to start our journey up shit creek. <3.