The end of June was just around the corner. Steph and I were both sad to think that Summer was flying by so quickly, but on the other hand, I was thankful to have survived the last month and a half. Regardless of the breath in my lungs, I will still feeling blank and empty on this certain day. It was nothing special, but I'd gotten maybe two hours of sleep the night before and my body just felt drained run-down. In the room next to me, I could hear the faint sound of laughter. As much of a part of this family as I felt, I really wasn't, so once in a blue moon I would lock myself in Rae's room so she could have bonding time with her sister and almost-mother.


To my left were three little pills, all of which I were debating on smashing and snorting. I had a feeling today probably wasn't the best day for me to get fucked, so I slid the pills back into bag and stared at the blade to my right. So taunting. I'd been doing better, honestly, I had. Mostly because Alex and I had been together for about four days now, but the chances of me getting drunk and sliding my clothes off had become greater. Alex was already so determined to find out my every secret that, I didn't want to fuel the fire. But today, I didn't mind the idea, for the simple fact that I craved the string as my flesh tore apart. With one swift motion, the blade was pressed against my wrist, in between my bracelets. A shaky breath left my mouth. Here is where I felt most at home.


I could hear footsteps coming towards the bedroom after about five minutes of calming myself. Huffing, I put the blade back where it belonged and tugged on the sleeves of my hoodie. Thankfully, it was another rainy day, so no one asked any questions. Steph came rolling in her room with a joint in her hand. She smiled brightly in my direction and handed it over, making me giggle.


We remained silent for a while, just passing it back and forth, until I felt myself float up to cloud nine. Grinning like a fool, I snatched my four-wheeler keys off the dresser and waved them in front of Rae's face.


"I'm hungry," was all she said. "Take Kris and come back and get me, kay?"


No complaints here. I just wanted to get out for a bit. Entering the living room, I smiled to my little sister and motioned for her to follow me. She glanced to Kelly, who gave her a smile and a nod. We hurried out of the house, happy to see the rain had stopped, and climbed onto my yellow baby. I started her up and slowly backed out.


"Go fast," Kristen poked me. "I won't tell."


Oh yes she would, even if it was an accident. Besides, Kris thought third gear was fast, so it was easy to please her. We made the left turn which took us on the road until we reached the house that Alex often hung out at. To my surprise, he was there, sitting outside with Jack. It was especially odd since we hadn't heard from the boys all day. Naturally, I wondered what he was doing.


"Jess?" Alex glanced to me, shoving something in his pocket. "Did you come looking for me?"


"No," I snorted. "I came on a ride. Figured you guys would be down later, anyway."


"Yeah, actually, we were just about to head that way. Hey, Kristen."


The little girl blushed and hid her face in my back. She thought Alex was the most beautiful human being on the face of the planet. It was adorable.


"Jessie," Kristen whispered, leaning into my face. "There's a puddle. Can we hit it?"


"Of course," I laughed. "I promised her a ride. We're going to get a little muddy and head back."


"Don't think I'm not going to watch you hit that mud," Alex winked. "It's hot."


Laughing to myself, I put the four-wheeler in gear and rode out a bit. Turning the bars, I lined the four-wheeler up with the hole and bolted towards it. Kristen screamed as the tires dug into the Earth, water flying everywhere. We spun out, hitting another small puddle on the way. By the time I slowed down, Kristen and I had mud up to our elbows. She was giggling happily as I pushed her legs away from the engine. She didnt' seem to notice, but the moment my legs took the place of her much shorter ones, I could feel the heat burn my flesh.


"Can we do it again, Jessie?" Kristen clapped, her childish happiness spreading to me. "Just one more time, please?"


Nodding to myself, I allowed my eyes to trail to the yard across from us. Alex and Jack were giving me a thumbs up. Silly boys. Once again, I turned the wheel and lined us up to the puddle, and pushed it. This time the mud went so high it was caked in our hair. I reminded myself to take a ride through the woods later by myself, so I could really go muddin'.


"See you at the house!" Jack called as we took off down the road. "Tell Stephanie!"


By now, the rain had started again. At first, it wasn't so bad, but after a minute or so it started to come down heavily. Kristen didn't like the rain as much as I did, so I kept us in third gear to make her feel better, even though I wasn't going over twenty MPH.


The sky quickly grew dark, and even though I had my headlights on, I couldn't see very far ahead of me. I slowed down even more, raindrops falling in my eyes and blurring my vision. We were just about to round a pretty big curve, but rain was flooding the road so much that I had to stay near the middle of it to avoid sliding off into a ditch. Kristen's small arms were wrapped around my body for warmth. Coming up the hill, I had to kick it into forth to maintain a decent speed so we didn't slide back down. We were just about to exit the curve when headlights blinded me completely.


My hand wrapped around the brakes, forcing my back end to slid out due to the wet rocks. I had almost come to a complete stop, but the car coming towards us didn't even attempt to slow down. I could feel my body tense up and Kristen scream to the top of her lungs. I was preparing for the impact, clinging to the bars and both brakes (foot and hand) as hard as I could. Why the fuck weren't they slowing down?!


Two seconds later, everything went black. I awoke on the side of the road with a blanket thrown over my body. The sun was in the sky and Kristen's tiny body was running in the direction of Steph's house. I glanced to my right, only to see the entire front end of my four-wheeler eaten by a Dodge. Cringing to myself, I glanced to the lady standing beside her car. She was calling for an ambulance.


"Don't stand up!"


Was she talking to me? Must have been, because when I tried to lift my body weight, I quickly became sick and fell back down.


"What time is it?" I slurred, wondering how long I'd been out. "What happened?"


But before she could respond, I was gone again. I felt as if I had fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep. There was nothing but darkness, welcoming me with a comforting peace, and as quickly as it had come, it was gone. Someone was touching me.. Holding me, but I couldn't quiet comprehend what was happening. My eyes gently fluttered open, though I wished they hadn't, becuase my body began to ache instantly. My lungs felt heavy, bruised almost, and simply having all my weight on the ground was making me want to scream in agony. The faces around me were blurry. What happened? There were soft fingers stroking my cheek.. They were saying something to me.. What were they saying?


"I'm here, baby," it was a woman's voice, fluttering around me like a butterfly. "You're okay. Everything is going to be okay. Try to stay awake this time, okay?"


An awful bubbling noise left my throat. Why can't I talk? Panic starts to fill my body. I have to get out of here. I have to get away from the chirping of voices and the blurred faces. It is when I put my hands firmly on the gravel that I realize my head is in someone's lap. I cough gently, trying to lift myself up. I fail almost instantly. On my side now, I can make out the image of my four-wheeler's broken frame once more. I squint my eyes. My tires are ruined.


"Those are fucking new tires!" I shout, grabbing a handful of rocks, no matter how much it hurts, and sling them at the broken frame. "Those were expensive!"


I hear laughter blooming around me. Did I suffer brain damange? Why did I keep forgetting where I am or that there are people around me. My body hits the gravel hard as I give up on holding my weight. I tilt my head to side, now able to clearly see Kelly's face. Tear-stained, but she was still running her fingers along my flesh. Did I look broken?


Behind Kelly, I could see Stephanie. She looked scared to death, her bug eyes poking out even further through her pale skin and heavy lids. I want to touch my face, see what everyone else sees, but I'm scared.


"Where's Kristen?" I breathe, remembering that she had been with me. Is she broken, too? "Is she okay? Where the fuck is she?"


"I'm right here, sissy," Kristen pokes her head out of the crowd. There's a purple burise forming on her forehead. Regret consumes me. "I'm okay."


Knowing that my little sister is okay, I attempt to relax, but it just leaves me screaming in pain. Kelly hold my arms down so I can't move. Why is she doing this to me? My breath hitches in my throat. I'm thirsty.


"Can I have some water?"


"No, honey," Kelly frowns. "You'll be at the hospital soon. It's okay."


Wait.. The hospital? Why would I go there? I'm okay, or I would be, if she'd fucking let me go. I was going to ask her what was wrong with me, but before I could, a man in a white shirt appears above me. He fakes a smile. I see two other men beside him. They're laying something down beside me. What is that?


"This is going to hurt," he warns. "Brace yourself."


Why is he touching me? They're all touching me. What the fuck are they doing?! Kelly backs up, two of them have my legs and one has my upper body. In a swift motion, I am flipped around, my back landing on something so hard it takes my breath away. I try to get up.. They strap me down. In this new direction, I can see the many voices I'd been hearing. My friends, my enemies, neighbors I'd never met were crowded around. Dozens of them, staring at me with worry and wonder. Why?


Then I notice two faces in the crowd that make me want to vomit. Jack has a firm hand on Alex' shoulder, whispering in his ear, but Alex can't look at me for any longer than a second without turning away. I must be a monster.


Soon after tears start to pool in my eyes, the stretcher is lifted off the ground. The men are rolling me away. I'm roughly pushed into the ambulance. I hear them mumble something around me, and then they touch my legs. I scream to the top of my lungs, the tears spilling now. It fucking hurts.


"Cut 'em."


Huh? These aren't even my pants. They're Kelly's. They're her favorite pants, too.


"Jessie?" I hear Steph call for me. "I'm going to be waiting for you at the hospital. We called your mom, she's on her way."


"Don't leave me," I manage to choke out. "They're cutting Kelly's pants. Stop them!"


I hear her laugh. "See Alex, she's okay. She's still the crazy bitch we love."


He's in my line of sight once more, standing around the back of the ambulance with Kelly, Steph, Kris, Jack and Rian. I feel like a lab rat. Alex offers me a smile and I can tell he's been crying. Then, the men around me are grabbing my pants. I see the scissors. I see Alex flinch.


"I think it's okay if you look," Steph's voice barely reaches my ears. "She's your girlfriend."


"Exactly," Alex grumbles. "Mine. They shouldn't be taking off her pants."


I hear the scissors rip away the fabric. I'm left exposed, with my favorite underwear being flashed to the word. It is within that moment that I decide to look down, but my God, I wish I hadn't. The flesh on both sides of my thighs are torn in two. Blood is spewing from my wounds, chunks of skin hanging freely. The wind hits them and I scream again. Cover me back up, idiots! Instead of putting me out of pain, they induce more. The men are bawling up gauze and pressing it to my flesh. As if I'd been hit by lightning, a blistering pain runs through my veins. I know I'm crying, I know.. I know...


Everything is black again.

Notes

Part one. Just writing this made my legs hurt again. Talk about pain, shew. lol. Comments?!