All My Life I've Been Searching For Something

At lunch, I walked past Rian on my way into the cafeteria. He shouted my name then came over to me, telling me to go and get us all a table because he had to go to the office. I did what he said, finding us all a table in the corner of the room. Cassadee came and joined me a minute later and we sat talking about how excited we were for Pierce The Veil's new album to come out. Soon, Rian was back and he wasn't alone.

"Hey guys, so, this is Jack. I've been asked to show him around and stuff. He's an exchange student so he's gonna be hanging with us whilst he's here"

"Hey, I'm Alex"

"And this is cass. But she's my girlfriend so..hands off!" Rian joked.

"Its fine, I'm gay, don't worry, I won't be chasing after your girlfriend anytime soon" Jack said with a chuckle.

"Wait! Its you!"

"What's me?"

"You walked- we walked into each other this morning! That was you, wasn't it? I recognise your accent. What accent is that, by the way? Where are you from?"

"What is this? 20 questions?" He retorted. He didn't answer any of my questions.

"That was you, wasn't it?"

"So what if it was?"

"I-I was..just wondering" I trailed off.

"So, where are you from then, Jack?" Cass asked.

"Lebanon, hence the weird accent"

"Lebanon? Woah, that's awesome! How are you liking england so far?"

"Its alright. Quite disappointed with the accents here though. I thought you'd all be rEALLY QUITE EXTREMELY POSH" he said in a posh voice. Everyone at my table laughed, apart from me.

"Hey, Alex? Could I..um..talk to you for a second?" I heard my best friend, Zack who usually sat with a different group, say.

"Sure, gladly" I replied, thankful to get away from Jack for a bit. He was a dick and the way he talked back to me made me feel uncomfortable. I was being nice, why was he being rude?

I walked with Zack out of the cafeteria.

"So what did you wanna talk about?"

"Um..can we just go somewhere..more private?"

"Sure, okay" we carried on walking until Zack suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me into a broom cupboard.

"Zack, what the hell?"

"Sorry. Its just private in here"

"Right, go on then. Let's talk"

"I just..lately I've been having these weird thoughts..well, not 'weird', just...different. A nice different though I guess. But..I just wanted to..I don't know. You're my best friend, right?"

"Of course"

"So...no matter what happens between us, we'd still be friends, right?"

"Yeah, definitely"

"Okay" he said quietly. I could suddenly feel him closer to me.

"Zack, what are you-" his lips were suddenly on mine, I gasped and he took the opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth. My hands were on his chest, ready to push him off me but they snaked around his neck when he licked the roof of my mouth gently. I whimpered slightly without even meaning to. Zack smiled as we continued to make out, his hands ended up on my ass. The bell rang suddenly, making me jump. Zack pulled away and stroked my cheek gently.

"Want to continue this later?"

"Sure"

"My house after school" he told me, giving me a quick peck on the lips then rushing off to his lesson. I wandered to my english room in a sort of daze.

"Mr Gaskarth, you're late!"

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry"

"Sit next to mr Dawson, 3rd row, 4th back"


"Dude, what the fuck is up with you?" Rian whispered.

"What? Oh. Nothing. I'm just..thinking"

"About what?"

"Nothing. I'm sorry just..leave me to think for a bit?"

"Whatever. You look like you've seen a ghost"

"Right. Yeah. Sorry"

"Did you even hear me?"

"What?"

"Oh my god, I give up. Have fun thinking" he laughed.


I spent the next hour thinking about Zack and our little make-out session. Was he gay? Was I gay? I certainly enjoyed it. But did that mean I secretly loved dicks? I wasn't so sure. I'd always been sure I was straight. Could Zack be my soul mate? It was possible, I guess. Maybe he was and I'd just never thought of him like that before. Although I hadn't felt butterflies thinking about it. Just nerves. But this was new to me, perhaps when I got over the new-ness, the butterflies would come. Should I even go to his house? Maybe I could make an excuse. Although I was curious about what would happen. We might even do more than just make out.


Did doing more than just making out even appeal to me?

Notes

I didn't even intend for this to happen????????