Guts

"Are you alright, Rebecca?" Jack asked once we had arrived home.

I had been staring out the car window the whole ride, silent tears falling down my face.

"Just peachy," I replied. Jack followed me inside, setting his keys on the kitchen counter. However, I had ventured into the living room, and I collapsed onto the couch.

"Why me, Jack? Why?" I sobbed, loud enough for him to hear. He rushed into the living room and sat beside me.

"I don't know. I just don't know," he whispered, wrapping me in a hug. I clung onto him, sobbing. Nothing seemed okay; hell, nothing was okay. My whole life has been a mess; with my family disowning me, getting pregnant at seventeen, seeing Brandon today. I couldn't do it anymore. It's like I was a walking travesty; smiling at everything when in reality, I was just a mess.

I can't put into words how mind boggling it is to... actually be... you know, terrified. It's one of those feelings that you just can't describe, even though you did feel it, and you know how it felt, you just can't explain it. Seeing Brandon just terrified me. Everything he ever did came flooding back, and I mean everything. Not just the rape; everything. I was half thinking that he was gonna do something to me; if Jack hadn't arrived when he had; who knows what would've happened.

"Rebecca, please answer me," Jack pleaded, shaking me from my distorted thoughts. I met his eyes, and I just stared at him. I hated this. I hated crying in his arms for what seemed like everyday. I hated seeing the look in his eyes that told me he was worried. I hated how he had to hold me when I knew he wanted to do something fun. I loathed having to face the world everyday, knowing that there was a fifty percent chance I'd be wrapped up in Jack's arms, crying my eyes out. It seemed like that's all I've been doing lately; crying. I couldn't keep him wrapped up like this. It was destroying me, it was destroying him, and most of all; it was destroying us. My past was only here to haunt me, not protect me, or anything. Just haunt me.

I looked at Jack in the eyes, seeing the sadness that was so obviously there, and I knew what I had to do, and I had to do it now before anything else happened.

"Jack... I think we need to break up," I said slowly, not breaking eye contact. He looked taken back, like someone had shot a loved one.

"W-What?" He stuttered, searching my eyes for anything but the truth.

"You heard me Jack. Don't pretend you didn't," I said sternly.

"Well yeah. I-I heard you... but why?" He asked. I couldn't tell him the truth, yet I felt I had to, even though it would destroy him. I loved him, yes, but that wasn't my reasoning.

"Because. This-what's been happening- has not been good on us, and you know that. The whole time we've been together has been chaos. I've cried more during our relationship then I did when I was seventeen, Jack. Look, I'm not saying any of this to hurt you in any way, shape, or form.

"I... I love you, Jack. I do, but we won't work. Not right now, at least. I think we both need some time off. I definitely do," I said, not breaking eye contact the whole time.

"No! No I refuse!" Jack yelled suddenly, standing up.

"What?" I asked, also standing up.

"I won't do this, Rebecca. Granted, I love you too, and I don't want to break up. Please don't do this, baby," he said, begging me both with words and eyes.

"I have to. Don't you see? Since we've been together, bad things have happened," I said.

"And we've worked past them! And we can continue to do so if you just give it a chance!" Jack retorted. I glared at him.

"You've been supportive up until now. You've supported me through everything; UP UNTIL NOW, JACK! Just let me-"

"SHUT UP! Listen to yourself! You sound fucking stupid, Rebecca! We are not breaking up, you hear!?" He asked.

"Goodbye, Jack. Tell the guys I quit," I said, and I stormed up the stairs. I started to pack up my suitcase as Jack came bounding up the stairs.

"Where are you gonna go, huh? Surely you have no where to go!" Jack said, entering the bedroom. I turned around.

"I've got plenty of places to go. Now, go tell Matthew I. Fucking. Quit," I said, my voice calm, but laced with venom. Jack only shook his head. I turned back around and continued packing up my suitcase until Jack grabbed my arm.

"Let me go, Jack," I snapped.

"You are not leaving," he growled. Fear shot through me like a bullet, and I froze.

"Let go of me Jack, or I will call the cops," I said. His grip loosened, and he dropped all contact with my arm. I gathered myself together, and finished packing up my suitcase. I zipped it shut, pulled on a jacket, grabbed my wallet, grabbed my car keys, and I grabbed my phone. I stormed down the stairs, pulling my suitcase behind me. I pulled the front door open, and I walked down the drive and to my truck. I loaded my suitcase in the back, and I got in the driver's seat. Jack had followed me, and he was glaring at me.

"See you," I said quietly.

"Please stay," he said.

"I don't have any other choice! If you want to get hurt, so be it, I'll fucking stay. But Jack! I'm not going to risk anything!" I yelled at him, and I started the engine. I closed the door, and I pulled out of the driveway, not daring to look at Jack, and I drove off towards the airport. If I was going to get away, it was going to be to California.

~

My phone had been ringing non-stop since I had landed in California, and that was the day before. Honestly, I felt bad and I missed Jack, but it was too late for missing people and things. I was in Sacramento. It was pretty nice, and I think I'd be staying for a while. After I had landed, I was a bit hesitant about calling my brother who lived down here in Sacramento after he had quit the engineering job, he told me. He had been happy to let me stay, and I had arrived late that night. He hadn't minded, and he let me crash on the couch.

But that was two years ago. Now, well, now I was happy. I hadn't feared that Brandon was out to get me. I didn't loath waking up, I enjoyed it.

Everything was peaceful. I had a nice apartment that was only a short distance from a few restaurants and a music venue.

"C'mon, babe, wake up! I've got a surprise for you!" That oh-so-lovely voice said. I smiled and opened my eyes, sitting up slowly. Who was this lovely person, you ask? Well.. it was none other then Mitchell, my boyfriend of one year today. He's been my longest relationship, and oh man, was I enjoying it. I was so in love with him, it wasn't even funny.

Stephanie and I had kept contact, but it was very minimal. I think she was mad about me leaving, but there was nothing that could be done about it now. I was far too happy to move back to Maryland.

"A surprise? Baby what is it?" I asked, looking up at Mitchell.

"You've got a boner? That is the third time this week, babe. Let me rest," I joked.

"Okay fine. But I'm taking you out, so get ready," he said, pressing a gentle kiss on my lips. I giggled and nodded, and Mitch left the room. Jack was never on my mind these days, because honestly, I lost all feelings towards him the day I met Mitchell.

When I was ready for our date, Mitchell and I both left the apartment hand-in-hand.

"So, where are we going?" I asked as Mitchell swung our hands back and forth.

"You know that burger place next to the venue?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Well, I got us a reservation for lunch," he said.

"No way. That place is so expensive, babe!" I protested.

"I'd do anything for you, Becca," Mitch said, and a pang of guilt hit me right in the gut. Jack had spoken those exact words to me before. I smiled at him as we reached the restaurant, and while we waited for our reservation time, we decided to check out who would be playing at the venue this next month. I nearly threw up when I read those three familiar words. Oh no.

"C'mon babe! Oh All Time Low is playing tonight. Cool. But we've got a date," Mitchell said, pulling me into the restaurant.

We were given a table which was right next to the window, which was nice. There were already kids lining outside for the concert, and all I wanted to do was run and hide.

After lunch, Mitch presented me with an envelope.

"Open it," he said, smirking at me. I hesitantly ripped the paper open and pulled out two tickets, both of which said ALL TIME LOW FEATURING PIERCE THE VEIL/ HANDGUNS

I gasped and nearly dropped the tickets. Mitchell took them from me and stuffed them into the envelope again.

"A nice, fun concert. I know you like them, so I had to," Mitchell said. I glared at him.

"I do not like them... anymore," I muttered.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because... I guess I just grew out of them," I muttered.

"Well... can we at least see Pierce The Veil? They'll be playing first, so we can get out of there after their set," Mitchell said, and I nodded.

~

After Pierce The Veil's set, I made my way through the crowd of sweaty bodies, and I made it outside. I had lost Mitchell, which was understandable. I walked down the street and stopped when I heard voices from my right. I looked down the little alley that I assumed led backstage into the venue. I cautiously listened, until I heard Mitchell's familiar, gruff, voice.

"Yeah, you like that?" He asked, and I heard a girl moan out a yes. I covered my mouth with my hands and sank to my knees. I thought he loved me. I guess I thought wrong.

"Hey, are you okay?" An all-too-familiar voice asked from above me. I was pulled up, and I removed my hand from my mouth, staring up into those brown eyes.

"Jack?" I asked, and he cocked a brow.

"Who's asking?" He asked.

"It's me... Rebecca," I said. He pulled his eyebrows together, looking genuinely confused.

"Doesn't ring a bell," he said.

"Don't you remember? Becca? My nickname?" I asked. He only shook his head.

"C'mon. I'll let you sit in the bus until we get back from our set," he said, and he led me to the familiar vehicle. Once I was in, he closed the door behind me. I was shocked in all honesty. He didn't remember me. I slouched down onto the couch, and memories flooded back. The ones I had tried to suppress over the past two years just re-surfaced like they'd happened yesterday.

Almost two hours later, the guys walked onto the bus, just talking. Alex looked at me and stopped, Stephanie by his side.

"Rebecca," he said, catching everyone's attention.

Notes

Chapter Twenty Three!

Title Cred: Andy Biersack or Black

So, the bold and italics aren't working, so I'll leave this chapter plain and boring looking. :3

Leave your wonderful comments down below, please!

Shout Outs:

@andie617
@Rebecca.Troy

Special shout out to @Rebecca.Troy for guessing Farewell, My Love. Awesome job!