If These Sheets Were The States [Alex Gaskarth Fanfic]

chapter two // to bring an end to promises

1 year later

It's been a year since I left for college. So far, everything is going okay. The first couple weeks were pretty rough. Basically, I just cried a lot because I felt so alone. Growing up, my family didn't really care about me that much. They just wanted me to get good grades, get into a college and make money. They just wanted a kid that they could brag to their rich friends about.

When I met Alex, he made me feel important. Like I was worth it. We told eachother everything. We were never not laughing together and he was my best friend growing up. We bonded over music, our love for the ravens, and basically everything. Some night we would spend hours just talking about nothing and everything. We would hangout almost everyday after school and in the summer we would camp out at an old abondoned lake house, that only we knew about. Almost every weekend we would go to house parties and beat everyones asses in beer pong. We started dating when we were both drunk off our asses at Jack's house, sophmore year. We were playing spin the bottle and mine landed on Alex and we found ourselves in a heated makeout session. One thing lead to another and soon enough we were laying next to eachother in Jack's guest bedroom, naked. That night he admitted that he had strong feelings for me and didn't want us to be a "one time thing". And the rest is history.

I had fun with him and his parents kind of became my parents, since mine were very hard to look up to. My family didn't like Alex at all. They thought he was a discrating me from my studies and that he was going no where with his life. But I mean look at him now. He's only 19 and he is already signed with a record label and touring, having the fucking time of his life.

Then here I was. Stuck in this shitty dorm room with my physco room mate and a never ending amount of homework and studying. Not to mention Alex barely talks to me. It started off as everyday he would text me all day and then call me before bed. Then it turned into a call every other day. Then it was once a month. Now its if I'm even lucky to get a text. I know he's busy and all, but he can't just take 5 seconds out of his day to just tell me he's okay and he had a good day? Or a bad day? I don't care I just want to talk to him.

I haven't seen him in over 3 months. Last time, I saw him he was opening for a band here and I went to the show. It was fun and I was glad I got to see Jack, Rian and Zack too. When I was with Alex I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him. I just missed him so much I forgot that I was annoyed with him.

The last time we were with eachother he just kept on making promises that I knew he wasn't going to keep.

"I'm sorry for not calling you every night," Alex finally spoke up. I looked up at him to see what he was really feeling. I didn't catch his eye contact though, he was looking away from me. I let out a sigh and rested my head back onto his chest, snuggling closer to him.

"It's okay," Lies. It most definatly was not okay. As annoying and clingy as it sounds I wanted him to call me every day or even better, be with me everyday. It's not that I want to "keep an eye on him" I trust him, I just want to be with him and talk to him and hug him and kiss him.

I could feel his chest vibrate as he let out a chuckle, "No it's not El, I know you're lying."

"I just need something Alex," I started, "Somthing to let me know you're okay. You're having fun or you're bored or sad, I don't know just talk to me. I miss you so much."

He wrapped his free arm around me and kissed my head.

"Okay I promise I will," Alex said with his cute little smirk that always made me smile. He held up his pinkie and raised a thick eyebrow gesturing to my pinkie. I giggled and wrapped my tiny pinkie around his.

"You're so gross and cheesy," I laughed as my eyes met his and he gave me a devious smile.

Before I knew it his stupid lips where on mine and he had me wrapped around his finger again. This is always what happened with us in high school. Alex would fuck up. I would be mad. He'd do something cute and say he was sorry. I'd be like "aw Alex you cutie batootie". Then we'd have really good make up sex.

But ever since that night in the hotel room he called me twice. Fucking twice. It's been 3 months. Oh and I try calling him but he never fucking picks up. Why did I have to fall so hard for someone who doesn't even make an effort?

-

I couldn't sleep at all, as usual. I felt kind of stupid because I'm 19, I'm almost done with my freshman year of college, and I haven't been to a single party or made a single friend. Well unless you count, Becky, my really angry room mate, who doesn't really have a soul.

She was still up doing god knows what on her laptop. I was sitting on top of my bed trying to study for my huge test tomorrow. Trying to get a nursing degree is a lot of work let me tell you that. I don't even have time to go to parties or make new friends because I'm always studying. And when I'm not in class or studying, I'm wasting my time thinking about Alex.

Fucking Alex. I don't even know what to do with him anymore. I miss having my girl friends back in Baltimore that I could turn to whenever I had these problems. Or even Jack, Rian and Zack were always willing to help me out with Alex was being an asshole. Yeah, I'm mad at Alex right now but he's still Alex. I love him to death. Ugh why does this have to be so hard?

"Hey Becky," I said as I shut my book causing Becky to jump a little bit and look over her laptop screen at me.

"What?" She responded angrily.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend, who acts like they don't care?" I hesitated.

"Ugh, you're asking me to help you with this Alex guy you're always whining about?" She groaned, her eyes still glued to her laptop screen.

I let out a nervous laugh and said, "You know what forget it, it's stupid and doesn't-"

"I think you should dump the kid honestly," Becky stated as she closed her laptop and focused more of her attention on me. "He obviously doesn't give a shit about your feelings that he's hurting 24/7. If he really wanted to be with you as much as you want to be with him-"

"How do you know I really want to be with him?" I said confindently.

"Oh please," She scoffed, "You didn't think I noticed when you cried for 48 hours straight when you came back from his show a couple months ago? Yeah I can tell you fell really fucking hard for this guy. But anyways, if he really wanted to be with you as much as you want to be with him he would make way more of an effort."

"Wow," I was stunned. This was the first thing Becky's ever said to me since we've been roomed together and it was all 100% true.

"Yeah, that's all I got, I'm gonna go to my friends room now," Becky announced before making her way out of the tiny dorm room.

Now I was alone and I didn't want to think about Alex but I couldn't bring myself to think about anything else.

I opened up my laptop and started to check up on all my social media. It was pretty bland. Everyone was in cute little relationships, and off at college parties and here I was. Then I saw an all to farmiler face appear on my screen. I clicked on the album he was tagged in and started to flip through the pictures of what looks like a typical Barakat House Party. I think my heart almost stopped when I saw a picture of Alex kissing another girl. And I was even more shocked to see the girl he was kissing was Stephanie Wilder, my best friend throughout high school.

I stared at the picture of the 2 drunk 19 year olds sucking face on Jack's basement floor, for about 20 minutes. I was still in shock. I kind of hoped it would just dissapear. Tears where brimming in my eyes when I realized what the fuck was really going on.

Alex was cheating on me.

With my best friend.

Notes