I Feel Like A Hero

"Lexxy! Get up!" Jack shouts, running into my room. "C'mon! C'mon! Tonight Alive is outside and they want to hang out!" He shrieks. I groan and throw a pillow over my head. "Leex!" He whines.

"No." I groan. "Let me sleep."

"I let you sleep for three hours." He whines. "Get your ass out of bed." I grab his arm and pull him down next to me, cuddling up to him. "Alex!" He shrieks.

"Stay here." I mumble into his back. He sighs knowing he won't win this battle when I'm tired. He never does. It's pretty funny. I wrap my arms around him and shut my eyes again. "I love you Jacky."

"Can I go?" He asks. I shake my head head and hold him tighter.

"No. My Jacky." I say. He groans. He gets annoyed with me a lot when I do this, but the only way to get him to stop yelling at me to wake up is to do this. "Just another hour."

"Lex, it's noon." He groans.

"So?" I ask. He sighs and turns to me. "Jacky.... Can I tell you something?"

"Sure what is it?" He asks, sounding nervous.

"I love you more than I love myself." I tell him. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead.

"How much do you love yourself?" He asks. I shrug.

"Way more than I used to." I tell him. He smiles and kisses me on the nose.

"Will you get up now?" He asks. I groan and shake my head. "Fine. Let me go. I'm going downstairs."

"Jacky!" Whine when he breaks away from me. "Fine." I mumble. He leaves the room and I groan. Guess I'm getting up.

I roll out of bed and stand up, rubbing my sleepy eyes. I head down the stairs, eyes shutting only for me to open the again. I fell asleep at seven and slept until noon. I'm exhausted.

I walk over to Jack and lean against him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He smiles down at me and I shut my eyes.

"Glad you came down."

"I'm exhausted."

"Clearly." Rian says, leaning back on the couch. I groan and I see Jenna McDougall of Tonight Alive.

"Hey, Gaskarth." She greets. I wave at her lazily and shut my eyes again. "Someone's tired."

"Yeah... I stayed up till seven and then had a nightmare woke up two hours later and then fell asleep again. Anyway, what are you doing in Baltimore?"

"We're touring so... Just thought we'd stop by." She says. I nod. "Now drink some caffeine and let's have fun!"

"I have Red Bull!" I hear Whakaio shout from the kitchen. I run over to the kitchen and take it from his hands. I suck it down and then sit in the living room, waiting for it to take affect. "Whoa. For someone who doesn't have any energy, you seemed pretty energetic."

"Whatever." I mumble.

"Go get dressed Lex." Jack says. I groan and stand up, heading upstairs. I get to my room and shit the door. I pull of my shirt and then my pants and look in the mirror at my half naked body.

Scars.

I quickly collect a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and throw them on, trying to cover up most of the scars so I can't see them. They're just an ugly reminder of my past. My awful past. I clench fists and take a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. I then head back downstairs and see everyone is gone. Goddamn it.

I walk outside and, sure enough, that's where they are. I sit on the porch steps as they run around the front yard yelling and screaming, every once in a while, a kid comes up and asks for an autograph. Guess who's invisible? Me.

I sigh and just watch Jack. He finally noticed me and smiles.

"Come on! We're going into town for lunch." Jack says. I nod and follow him, taking his hand. "You alright?"

"Yup!" I say, smile on my face. I'm not lying. He nods. He knows when it's not a lie. "So where are we going?"

"To a restaurant that sells amazing food." Jake says. We all laugh.

"So... Nowhere here?" Rian asks. I smile. "There's a good restaurant down the street from here. Let's go!" He shouts, skipping ahead of everyone.

"Captain Perfectly White Teeth leads the way." Matt laughs. Matt Best, not Flyzik. We all laugh again and I rest my head on Jack's shoulder.

"Has the Red Bull worked yet?" He asks. I shake my head and shrug.

"I don't think I need caffeine." I say. He looks at me weirdly. "I haven't had my daily dose of Jacky kisses." He smiles at me.

"I kissed you today."

"On the forehead and the nose." I say. "It don't count."

"You're so cute." He smiles. I stop walking a minute and we turn to each other. I stand on my toes and kiss him. After a minute we realize the group has gotten farther and break apart. "Better?" He asks, taking my and as we run down the street after our friends. When we slow down, I look at him.

"Yes." I say, out of breath from running.

"Here we are!" Rian shrieks.

"Subway?" Cam, Zack and Whakaio ask at the same time. He nods.

"Then we can hang out in the park or something." Rian says.

"Fine with me." I say, walking in, dragging Jack with me. We order, get our food and head to a park where we sit under a tree and talk.

"Let's get to know each other!" Jenna says. I look at Jack and then at everyone else. "I'll ask first. Um... Rian. Do you have a girlfriend and if you have one, how long have you been dating?"

"I do. Cassadee Pope and a few years." He answers.

"Since he was seventeen!" I chime in. "Six. Years." I smile.

"Whoa!" Everyone in the other band says.

"My turn to ask someone!" Jack shouts. I take Jack's hand and intertwine our fingers, but he doesn't look at me. It's normal. "Umm..."

I tune everyone out for a few minutes and looks around. I always missed the park. The green grass, blue cloudless sky, sunny days, chirping birds, sitting under trees writing songs. I loved it. Then we got a record deal, blah blah blah. Haven't been here for a while. It's nice to be back.

"Alex! I have a question for you!" Cam says. I nod and he smiles. "How long have you and Jack been together?"

"We started dating when we were sixteen so... Eighth grade-ish. Then we got signed to Hopeless and then was told that gay was bad publicity and so we broke up for a few years which was absolute torture and we got back together a few months ago." I explain. "We had a few problems during all this."

"Like?" The whole band asks. My bandmates and I look at each other.

"Alex tried to kill himself." Rian says. Everyone looks at me and I look down. "Jack literally died for six hours." Everyone looks at Jack.

"Alex tried to kill himself again after Jack had 'died'." Zack explains. "Alex's mom died. Alex was reunited with his dad. Blah blah blah."

"Holy shit." Jake gasps.

"I was fucked up. Jack had Cancer." I say. Jack nods. Reliving the past... The past that left ugly scars on my body as reminders.

"What are those scars?" Whakaio asks. I freeze up and look down, remembering how terrified I had made Jack and how he explained how terrified he was to me and that he sounded upset and well... Scared.

"My suicide attempt." I mumble. "Let's just say Jack left me alone. Me. An unstable sixteen year old."

"I'm sorry... I should've taken you with me." Jack sighs. I shrug.

"Too late now. It doesn't matter anyway." I say. They look at me. "On to another person." I say, starting to get uncomfortable. They nod and I clutch Jack's hand. He gives me a reassuring smile.

After a while, we head back to my place to hang out. It's the best day ever!

Notes

Another filler to start the story off. It'll get interesting soon. i promise. It's sucky, sorry, but it's the best i could do and not start what Mary and I have planned. So enjoy, or don't enjoy what I wrote. Fine with me.
Comments are accepted!:)
-Jenna<3
ps I'd love u if you checked out my story "You'll be Okay; You're Fine, but I Know it's a lie."