Jack sat on one edge of the couch, while Alex sat on the other. Home Alone was playing on the television screen, but even Jack couldn't pay attention to his favorite movie. His eyes kept scanning to his boyfriend, who had stayed in like he promised, but mentally he wasn't all there. He was really hoping that after the drama from earlier that morning, that Alex would at least make an effort. Even Zack and Rian had agreed to ride on Boys Like Girls bus for the night so the two could be alone, but Alex just kept staring down at his phone and texting so quickly Jack couldn't even make out a word. Jack was starting to think that maybe he should have just let Alex go party with their friends, because this wasn't at all what he had in mind about a night in with his boyfriend. If anything, it was more stressful than Alex being at a party without him.

It was just so frustrating, to sit there and watch Alex get his kicks with a stranger. Sometimes Jack wished he had more self confidence, perhaps then he would be able to mention things to Alex when they bothered him, other than considering how shitty his life would be without the boy entirely. He had to start somewhere, though.

"Al..."

"Hm?"

"I thought you said we were going to spend time together tonight," Jack frowned, tugging at the blanket over his legs. "I was really looking forward to that."

"What do you think I'm doing?" Alex looked up from his phone for the first time since Jack put the movie in. He didn't seem at all thrilled to be alone with Jack

"Texting," Jack grunted, rolling his eyes. "When the busses stop to fill up, why don't you go hang out with whoever it is you're talking to. Clearly you'd rather be with them tonight."

Alex sat there for a moment, a little hurt, but mostly irritated. Once again, he found himself trying to figure out how to balance his new life with his old. It seemed odd, to have to consider such a thing, when Jack was huge part of his new life. He was the second most popular member of the band, he was Alex's best friend and lover. Why should that be so complex? Because he's Alex Gaskarth, and he ruins everything he touches.

"All right, I'm sorry," Alex groaned, tossing his cell phone on the table in front of them and offering his arms to Jack. "Come on, bring it in."

Jack hesitated, his teeth digging into his lower lip from his mind running in all different directions. The younger boy was still mad at his boyfriend from the events that took place earlier that day, and he was still uneasy about the excuse Alex had fed him, but Alex's arms were so welcoming. It had been a long time since he'd felt Alex's embrace in a romantic way, and just maybe this would be all it took to make Alex love him the way he had for the past two years. Maybe this one moment could wash away all the bad thoughts from the last twenty-four hours.

With pain shooting through his lip, Jack slowly crawled across the couch until he was in Alex's warm embrace. Alex hugged him closely and began running his fingers through Jack's messy hair. Truthfully, he had missed moments like this. Being with Jack had always made him feel loved and accepted. The only problems was, now everyone else wanted to love and accept him, too, even if they didn't know of his ties to Jack Barakat. Alex knew he was an attention whore, and though he wasn't proud of it, there was no way he could change it. His phone began to vibrate from the table, Elana's name flashing on the screen. As a quick way to recover from Jack's uncomfortable shift in weight, he pulled his boyfriend up by the chin and roughly pressed their lips together. With his eyes slightly open, Alex stared at Jack's closed eyes and smirked into the kiss. Elana's name had gone from the screen, and he had Jack exactly where he wanted him.

Pulling away from the kiss, Jack stared at Alex with sligh confusion.

"You haven't kissed me like that since before our first set set," Jack breathed, butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. "I miss it."

"I know things aren't easy right now for us, but I promise you, Jack, it'll all pay off in the end. We're gonna get somewhere, and when we do, we'll have the life we always dreamed of. Together."

"Alex, I don't care about that. Sure, I'm happy to be on tour and I'm so thankful our dreams are growing.. But all I want is you. I don't care if we have to live out of a cardboard box, so long as we're together."

When Jack said things like that, it reminded him of why he'd fallen for the boy in the first place. It took him back to happy thoughts, like their last two years in school, where they were open and proud of who they were. He sighed to himself, feeling guilty again. Jack deserved to know the truth, but Alex wasn't brave enough to tell him, so he went with the next best thing: Giving him the best night of his life. Alex pushed Jack backwards and climbed on top of him, ready to remind Jack that there was still a spark between them.

____

　

Jack's eyes fluttered open against the bright light coming through the back window. He used his hand to block out the light and smiled down at his snoring boyfriend. Alex had one arm hanging over the edge of the couch, and his legs were spread wide open, showing off his black boxers. Snickering to himself, Jack pulled the blanket up over Alex's legs and gently climbed off the couch. He yawned, probably louder than he should have, and stretched his arms high above his head. Today was going to be a good day, he was sure of it.

He snuck from the back room and grabbed a change of clothes, forcing himself to take a quick shower and clean up. The tall boy even decided against doing his hair, knowing it would only have to be done again before their set. Besides, Alex had mentioned in them middle of their love-making last night how much he liked it when his lover didn't try so hard to look so good. Jack figured it'd be a nice surprise for Alex to wake up to.

Happily moving from the bathroom and back into the back room, Jack swung the door open, slightly disappointed to see that Alex was still snoring. Instead of waking Alex, he decided to go spend the day catching up with his friends, who had also been too busy with the parties to really hang out with him. He was just about to exit the room when Alex's phone lit up again. Though it was wrong, Jack found himself feeling curious as to who was blowing up his phone all night, and tip-toed over to where Alex was snoozing. Very carefully, he took the phone off of the table and opened Alex's messages. Every single text was from Elana. Jealousy rushed through his veins again, but he tried to remember what Alex had said to him yesterday. They were just friends.

But he was still curious, so he scrolled until he found messages that had already been read, and opened them. A lot of it was just normal conversation, until he got to the very last text. He scrunched up his face as he read what Elana had sent:

(1/2) That doesn't make any sense Gaskarth, but your secret is safe with me. I guess he's kinda cute in a dorkish way. No worries, I didn't tell Alexa what happened, she thinks I just got really drunk and you were taking care of me. That's probably

(2/2) for the best. She gets real over-protective of me. Anywho, I've been thinking a lot about last night. I promised to keep your secret, but you have to promise to make it worth my while again. XO lover boy.

Jack's heart stopped beating for a moment. His blood had run cold, and he had sick feeling in his stomach that he might just vomit. She couldn't have meant anything by that. Alex said that nothing happened, so he had to believe nothing happened. Even if he did bring up to Alex it would only cause more trust issues in their relationship. From now on, Jack would just have to keep a watchful eye. He would have to tag along to every party, and he would have to convince Alex that it's time to be open about their love once again.

But for now, all Jack could think about doing was getting the Hell away from his boyfriend before he smothered him with a pillow. He fought the tears and swallowed the lump in his throat, storming off the bus without a second thought. Saying he was hurt would be an understatement. At the very least, he wanted to give Elana a piece of his mind.

Pushing through the large crowds of people, Jack was determined to find one of the two chicks he'd met yesterday. He was rushed, not caring who was in his way, until his body weight threw another person to the ground. He heard a soft sqeak and looked down at them. Alexa had caught herself with her hands, and as she lifted them to brush the hair out of her face, he could see a cut on her left hand. Guilt washed over him. He'd just injured a bass player.

"Alexa, I am so sorry," Jack mumbled, reaching down to pull her up. "Are you okay?"

Alexa balanced herself and began to brush her rear end off. She was curing him slightly under her breath, but when she turned to face him, she could see sadness in his dark brown eyes. Sighing, the girl nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Watch where you're going from now on, okay? I'm not the only small person out here you could take out."

"I realize that," he frowned, grabbing her hand so he could look at the wound. "I suck so bad right now. Are you going to be able to play?"

"It's just a scratch," she yanked her hand from him and smeared the blood on her shorts. "I'll live. Why are you in such a rush?"

"I, uh, well.. I was just looking for Elana."

"Oh.." Alexa sighed, suddenly feeling awkward. "She's watching a set right now. Wanna go?"

Jack nodded, trying not to obviously pick up on the strange feeling that washed over the two. Had Elana lied in her text to Alex? Did she tell Alexa the truth? Part of him hoped so, but a part of him didn't want to know, because that would mean she'd know if anything really happened, something he couldn't deal with right now. Instead, he silently followed her through the crowd, the heat starting to get to him. They had almost reached the front of the stage when Jack began to tug on her shoulder, leading her in another direction. He'd managed to recognize Rian from just a few feet away. A smile came to his face as he thought of spending just a normal moment with a friend and forget his worries.

"Dude," Jack smiled, spinning Rian around to face him. "I'm so glad I found you."

"Jack-O!" Rian beamed, giving his friend a bro hug. He noticed the small girl standing beside the lanky boy and rose an eyebrow. "Who is this?"

"This," Jack motioned to Alexa, "is my lovely new friend, Alexa. Alexa, this is Rian. He's the drummer for our band."

"Ah, it's good to meet you."

"And to you," Rian smiled, turning to face the stage again. "This band is really good, I just wish I had a better view."

"Well, that's why you always have at least one short friend," Alexa commented, a flirty grin on her lips. "Come on, boys!"

Rian and Jack shrugged to each other and followed her through the crowd. She led them to the front of the stage, feeling proud of herself.

"Hang on a sec.." Rian trailed, glancing to Jack quickly. "Is- Is that?"

"Cassadee fuckin' Pope," Jack finished. "I haven't seen her since we graduated."

"Me either," Rian spoke under his breath, watching closely as the song came to a close and Cassadee began making her way off the stage. He honestly thought he'd never see her again. The idea of letting that girl walk out of his life again was a scary one, so he did the only thing he could think of. "Cass! Hey, Cass, over here!"

Cassadee spun on her heel upon hearing his voice. Her eyes lit up, and in seconds, the thin girl was leaping from the stage and into his arms. It was like a love scene from a movie, one that made Jack happy and sick. There once was a time where Alex would have looked at him that longingly.. What happened?

Alexa grinned at the two and rested her head on Jack's arm. Most of the crowd had faded away, leaving that small area mostly quiet. She looked up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes, and she felt she could no longer bite her tongue.

"Jack, I think there's something you should know," Alexa frowned, averting her gaze. "Meet me tonight at the front gate."

His heart skipped a beat as she repeated the same actions from yesterday, gently kissing his cheek before she ran off, leaving him with nothing but his cruel thoughts to slaughter his heart.

Notes

Come on guys, gimme some feedback here. I have SO much in store for this story. I know it's a lot different from Feeling This already, but my plans are big. <3.