"I think I love you, too."

Jack couldn't get Alex's words out of his head. His was playing them over and over, wondering if it was Alex's sickness that made him say it, or the fact that Lisa's name was on the screen. He had accepted Alex back into his heart, along with every heartbreaking flaw the older boy carried with him. This meant he had to accept the fact that Lisa was a part of Alex's life. He didn't like it, if anything, he wanted to force her out, but Alex needed everyone who loved him in any way to be strong for him right now.

It had been three weeks since Alex ended up in the hospital. His weekly calls to his therapist weren't going so well. Most of the time, Alex would hang up on the poor woman and dig through the cabinets until he found some form of liquor. He would mumble things under his breath that worried the rest of the band and lock himself in the back lounge. The only thing that seemed to keep Alex going was Jack. He would put on his brave face and rock shows, then kiss his boyfriend as soon as they were off stage. Being attacked by the fans seemed to help a little, too. Most of them had listened to our older music and would tell him stories of how much his lyrics helped them overcome. Alex appreciated every word, only wishing that he felt the same about himself.

Jack was deeply concerned for his boyfriend's mental health. Alex hadn't been sober for more than three hours out of everyday. He was kind to Jack most of the time, wanting to cuddle and kiss him just like they always did before, but when the bus would start moving at night and the darkness would take over, Alex would shut Jack out. He would shrug the younger boy off and request time alone- Time spent messaging Lisa and killing a case of beer.

Today was the day that Jack was going to take a big step in his relationship with Alex. He feared it would go one of two ways: They would either work things out and get on a higher level, or Alex would flip shit and dump him on the spot. Since they were back in Baltimore, Jack had some business to take care of before he conversed with his boyfriend. Certain things needed to be done before he took the leap.

Seeing the house made Jack shudder, but he knew the bubbly brunette inside needed to be face. She wouldn't be happy about his random timing, she'd have to deal with it, though. Jack sighed to himself and walked up to the house, tapping lightly on the door. A moment later, Lisa answered, her hair half-done and her make-up looking flawless. She inhaled a sharp breath upon seeing him, confusion washing over her painted skin.

"Jack? What are you doing here? Is Alex okay?"

"Alex is fine, I guess you could say," Jack shrugged, trying to muster the courage to be nice to her. "I just want to talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Uh... Yeah, I guess so."

Lisa stood back and allowed Jack's lanky body to enter. Being in her home made him feel sick to his stomach. He could only imagine the amount of times that Alex stumbled in here drunk, pushing her thin body against the wall while his lips explored her body.

"So, what's up?"

"I, well." He scratched the back of his head, chewing on his lower lip. "Well, you've been talking to Al a lot lately, and I've just been wondering if there's anything going on with you two?"

"Jack, I really think that's something you should discuss with him," she averted her gaze. "It isn't right for you to go behind his back like this."

"I'm not going behind his back. I fully intend to tell him I was here. There is something going on, isn't there? That's why you won't tell me..."

"Nothing like you think," Lisa looked up at him, her bug eyes shining in the light. "Alex is really fragile right now, Jack. He comes to me with things because, aside from a phone call or the interent, I'm not really involved in his life."

"Why now?" Jack frowned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "After everything he put you through, why are you there for him now?"

"I know it seems strange. My heart was broken when I found out about.. You guys... But my love for Alex hasn't changed a bit, even after all this time, and I honestly don't think it ever will. I would drop everything to help him."

Jack held in his groan and managed his breathing. Jealousy was rushing through his veins. He didn't want to be angry with Lisa, not if she was being honest with him, but now there was a pang in his heart that meant he had to ask her a question he dreaded.

"Are you still in love with him?"

Lisa put her head down, wiggling her toes as she stared at them. Slowly, very slowly, she started to nod her head. At least she was ashamed.

"I'll never stop loving him. I understand if you make him stop talking to me, but you should know this, Jack. Alex doesn't want me. You're the only person on this Earth he wants to be with. I envy you every single day because you got the guy. I swear to always be a good friend to him, but I would never, ever act on my feelings.. Unless he asked me to."

"I'm going to leave now. Thank you for being honest."

"Jack, wait!" Lisa grabbed the door before he could close it. Tears were clouding her vision. "Are you going to make him cut me out?"

"No.." Jack sighed, wanting to do nothing more than that, but for some odd reason, he understood why Alex needed her. "Don't make me regret that."

He'd managed to survive his first task of the day. Now he just needed to get back to his boyfriend before the set started. They were expected to visit their families and see old friends today, so if he wanted some time alone with Alex, he needed to act on it now. Jack practically ran back to the bus, throwing himself through the door, thankful to see it was empty aside from Alex eating peanut butter out of the jar in the kitchen. At least it wasn't a beer.

"Where the Hell have you been?" Alex asked, without even looking at Jack. His voice didn't seem at all interested in his question. "The guys invited us to go grab lunch and now I'm eating peanut butter off a spoon. You proud of that?"

"No, I'm not," Jack laughed. Alex actually made him laugh, really laugh, for the first time in weeks. It made him feel guilty about his doubts. "Alex, can I ask you something?"

"Anything, sugarlips."

"Are you... Still in love with Lisa?"

Alex dropped his spoon. He let out a deep sigh and slid the container away from himself. His brown eyes slowly scanned up to Jack.

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Deadly."

"No, I am not still in love with Lisa. Do I love her? Yeah. Do I want to be with her like I am with you? Fuck no."

"Then why were you talking to her the other night? And why do you keep shutting me out? Better yet, why won't you talk to your therapist? Why are you always drunk? Why did you tell me you THOUGHT you loved me the other night?!"

"Wait, what?"

"I told you I loved you when you were drunk, and you said you think you love me, too."

"Jack.. I don't know why I would say that, but please don't tell me you've been dwelling on it? I have so much going on in my head right now, I don't need you to take anything I say to heart. I drink because it makes everything easier. I don't like my therapist because she tries to tell me that there's more shit wrong with me that we thought, and I talk to Lisa because she a third-party that can ease my stress. That's it. Nothing more."

"Why don't you come to me when something is wrong? That's my job, Alex, I'm supposed to be the one you come to."

"We just got better. I don't want to burden you will all my issues. Jack," Alex sighed, standing up from his seat to drag his feet over to his boyfriend. He placed his hands on Jack's hips and planted soft kiss on his forehead. "I don't expect you to understand, but you knew what you were getting into with me. Just give me a little time to sort all of this shit out, okay?"

"I- I want you to quit drinking, Alex. You're absolutely right, I did accept all of this because I thought we'd work through it together. I refuse to let you keep blocking me out. Please, stop drinking."

Alex stared at his lover for a long moment. Asking him to stop drinking was like asking a living creature to just stop breathing for a while. It would be miserable and deadly. He'd be like a fish out of water, fighting for something that everyone else had, while the person who demanded he be taken from his comfort zone found humor in his pain. Alex was no good without booze, not anymore.

"Please, Alex," Jack begged, stepping closer to the fragile man. "I have been by your side through everything. Sure, it took me a while to understand the Elana thing.. But I'm here now, and I'm asking you to help me help you..."

"Stop trying to fucking help me!" Alex's scream echoed through the bus. He spun on his heel and rammed his fist into the wall, leaving a crack. At least he had enough self-control not to damange it too bad. The older man rested his head against the crack and allowed his body to fall to the floor. A fit of sobs escaped his lungs. He was so beautifully broken. "I just want everything to go back to normal. Why won't it just go back to the way it was before?"

"Because we're growing up, Al," Jack whispered, making his way over to the wounded man. He sat down in front of his boyfriend and brushed the hair out of his face. "It only gets worse from here, you know that. But if you let me in and you put down the drinks, we can make this better."

Alex's limb body fell forward against Jack's small frame. He was shaking roughly in his boyfriend's arms, desperately trying to catch his breath. Maybe it was a break-through, or mabye it was a break-down. Either way, the entire gravity of their relationship had shifted. Things would be different now, one way or another. Alex would either embrace his flaws and push forward, or he was stumble and crack under the pressure of fame.

Notes

Okay, guys. We're getting close to the end of this story, so might I ask a favor from all of you? This whole Jalex fic, BOTH stories, has been a wonderful ride for me. It was the very first Jalex I've ever done (because it usually just makes me uncomfortable to write, but with your help, this came easy) and I have absolutely fallen in love with the story, and my fabulous readers! Now, I can see that 46 of you subscribed to this story.. CAN WE GET A LITTLE LOVE?!