It was the first day of the Man Whores & Open Sores tour, and already Jack Barakat was exhausted. The few months he'd been away from the tour scene had put his body in a constant state of rest. When he took those first steps on the bus and everyone tried to awkwardly made him feel at home with Alex standing in the room, he found the motion of the bus left him restless once again. Knowing that sleep wouldn't come easy, he forced himself to hide away in his bunk. Eventually, the bumps in the road turned into a lullaby, but the thougth of Alex Gaskarth lying underneath him the entire ride kept his eyes open.

Morning, all too soon, came flooding through the windows of the bus. Jack was a miserable wreck. The night had simply given him time to think of all the bands they were touring with this go-round, not to mention all the screaming fans who were dying for Alex's attention. The question was: Would Alex drown himself in attention once more, or would he really make an effort to mend Jack's broken heart?

The lanky boy pulled himself out of the bunk quietly. The bus had only just stopped on the rest grounds, leaving the rest of the band and crew snoozing peacefully. He tried to carry his body silently to the kitchen area, where he would force himself to drink enough coffee so that he could face the day, and his fans. Reality was finally sinking in around him. This tour was a bad idea. Alex Gaskarth was a bad idea. Life had become a bad idea. But it was too late to turn back now. He couldn't go running home to the comforting arms of his best friend, couldn't flip a switch on his computer and have Alexa standing right beside him. Nope, this is real life, where the shit gets dirty and hard. If Alexander was the demon keeping him away at night, it was Alex he needed to face.

"You're up early." Speak of the Devil. "You know the smell of coffee always wakes me up."

"I'd forgotten that, actually," Jack blankly stated.

"All right, listen." Alex had stopped in the middle of reaching for a cup. His eyes stared Jack down in a hard, forceful way, that nearly turned the younger man on. "If you don't want anything to do with me, I get it. But stop with the attitude. I can't turn back time, Jack. I can't change what happened. You can either get over that, or you can't. The choice isn't mine to make."

"Then I guess I won't be getting over it," Jack frowned, pushing his coffee back on the table. "And don't worry, Al, we won't be speaking to each other anymore. Playful words on stage and that's it. I wouldn't want to mess up your career."

Alex threw his coffee cup down on the floor, the glass shattering like the pieces of Jack's heart. He sent his former lover a cold glare before he barged right off the bus, slamming the door so hard behind him it never got the chance to close. His chucks carried him through the cold, brisk air. He wasn't sure if it was weather or the anger that had put tears in his eyes. Jack didn't get it. He just didn't fucking get it, and that was a good thing. Alex wouldn't even wish the bad feelings squirming around in his gut on his worst enemy. The feeling of nothing but hate towards yourself. Looking in the mirror and feeling disgusting, like you weren't worth a damn. Wanting out of the world so deeply that you would cling to anyone, or anything, that's bad for you. Because for that moment, just a sick, short moment, they served as an escape.

Of course Alex loved Jack, he always had. From the bottom of his black, broken heart he never meant to heart the fragile boy. It was his fault and he could accept that. What he couldn't accept was Jack being the only person in the world who didn't understand. Out of all the people in the world, Jack was supposed to be his support system. When times got rough, Jack's love was supposed to be unconditional, and yeah, Alex abused that. Fucking slaughtered it. But on the outskirts of their relationship, was the friendship, and somewhere along the lines, that was supposed to mean something, too.

In his fit of rage, Alex managed to circle the parking lot one good time. By the time he got back to the bus, a young, Asian girl was standing outside of the bus. She had a man with her, a few inches shorted than Alex, who was holding a video camera. All Time Low had an interview before sound check today; why hadn't he remembered that? Here he was, an absolute mess with tear stained cheeks, about to be forced to answer a bunch of useless questions for people who really didn't care what the answers were.

"Oh, there he is now! Alex!"

"Hi there," Alex put on his game face. If he could fool his friends, he could fool his fans. "You must be.."

"Lauren. Pleasure to finally meet you!"

"Awfully cheery for this hour, aren't you?" Alex smirked. "It's good to meet you too."

"The rest of the band is getting cleaned up before they come out, but as you are the lead singer, we can go ahead and begin if you'd like?"

"Sure."

"Okay," she grinned, pushing hair out of her eyes and staring straight into the camera. She counted down her camera man silently, and on que, she began to speak. "What's up, guys? Lauren here! Today I'm with Alex Gaskarth from the band All Time Low. Say hi, Alex!"

"Hi Alex!"

She giggled, giving one of those 'I shoulda known' looks. She rambled on for a moment about how All Time Low had been on Warped Tour, and also how a rumor had spread that they had to leave because Alex was having relationship issues. In the time it took for her to spit all of that out, Rian, Jack and Zack had stepped off the bus. They remained quiet as they watched the interview.

"Is that true, Alex? Did you guys bail because you were having romantic issues you needed to attend to?"

"Yeah, it is." Alex's eyes trailed over the Jack. He was hoping that maybe this would take some of the pain out of Jack's heart. It was a big step for Alex to openly admit he'd been in a committed relationship while on tour. If only Jack would have realized that he wouldn't be afraid to say who it was with, and loosen up the choke hold he had on Alex's heart, maybe he wouldn't have dug himself into a deeper hole. "Shit gets rough on tour."

"Oh, I bet. But the band is back on the road now, so that must mean that everything has worked out?"

Still, Alex stared down his best friend. His eyes were begging for any kind of sign that his words would make a difference. Jack, however, wasn't convinced by Alex's act. He shook his head and looked away from the older boy, forcing the tears to stay out of his eyes.

"Yes." Alex's eyes darkened. He refused to keep fighting for a lost cause. If Jack wanted a reason to hate him, he'd give him one. "We're the best we've ever been."

"May I ask who the luck gal is?"

"Lisa," his teeth were gritted as the name slipped out. "Her name is Lisa."

Notes

I SUCK & I'M SO SORRY! I have lost all muse for this story, but I'm hoping that forcing myself to write this chapter wiill bring it back a little. Please don't hate me! Love to you all!
MeowKittehMew
SaraBethGaskarth
ImRecklessAndImBrave- "Remembering Sunday, He Falls To His Knees"