My life ended the day my mom died. I remember that day very well. I was sitting at home blasting music while on tumblr and texting Jack, yes Jack Barakat he’s my best friend. bored. I don’t have many friends because people at my school think I’m some emo girl or try to use me because my dad’s famous. That’s why I spent so much time online where I could be anonymous and with a guy who’s close to my dad’s age and who happens to be his best friend. Mom came in my room and if I wanted to go to the store with her. I was a bit grumpy because of what some jerk at school had said and no in a mean way. I could tell I hurt her feeling, but I didn’t care at the moment because I thought I could always apologise another time. I didn’t get the chance. She was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. I regret not being nice to her more than anything.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. All I remember was staying with Grandma Gaskarth while daddy and Jack rushing home as fast as they could. I remember Jack practically carrying daddy inside because he was so upset. Jack stayed with us for a while after that to help daddy out. Hell he’s still here and it’s been around four months. Not that I mind or anything. He’s the only one who notices me anymore. Daddy’s too out of it and everyone is focused on him. They believe the fake smile that I wear around them. They don’t know the secrets that lie behind my sleeves.

Yes that’s right I self harm. I cut and burn myself to make the guilt go away. I hate that the last thing that I said to my mom was something bitchy because of something someone who doesn’t even matter said to me. I mean she was the closest person to me. Since daddy was touring a lot of the year it was usually just me and mom. I don’t know how I can keep on going without her. I just don’t.

I guess that’s ultimately the reason why I decided to do this. It’s nobodies fault. Jack please don’t let daddy blame himself. I know he’s already going through a lot. I trust you take care of him. Well you and mother Rian. And Rian you have to finally propose to Cass. You two need to be married. Zack keep working out and keeping Jack from being too stupid. And Daddy don’t blame yourself anymore. None of this is your fault. Please try to cut back on your drinking and get healthy for me. I love you.

I guess that’s all. Just remember that I love all of you so much, and I’m so sorry it had to end like this. I wish there was some other way but there just isn’t. I’m sorry.


I’m crying by the time I finish writing the note. I hate that I’m doing this, but I don’t have any other options. I place the note on my nightstand and grab the bottle of sleeping pills that I took from daddy. I decided that pills would be the best way so they don’t have to find me looking awful. I’ll look like I’m sleeping. I pour a handful into my hand and just as I was about to swallow it Jack came bursting through my door.

“Hey Chloe how are y- Oh shit what are you doing?!” he practically yells. He comes over to me and takes the pills away. “Oh baby why,” he asks with tears in his eyes which makes me tear up. “Because I just can’t do it anymore,” I sob. He puts the pills on my nightstand before pulling me to him. “I know you hurt, but you just have to give it time,” he said soothingly. “How would you know,” I ask.

He sighed and pulled back. “When I was 13 my dad left us. I have no idea why. I just came home from school one day and he was gone. My mom had to work extra shifts in order to support us so I was alone most of the time. I was also bullied at school a lot for being a weird looking kid with a bad taste in music. I turned to some not too good ways to deal with my problems. I was in a downward spiral until I met your dad. He saved me from myself. I would be dead without him. That’s why he’s so special to me.” “Jack what did you turn to,” I ask him shyly while thinking about what lurked under my sleeves. “The best way to explain is to just show you,” he said. He slowly pushed up his sleeves and I saw arms that matched mine. I gasp. “I know they aren’t very pretty,” he says blushing with a look of shame on his face.

He’s shared so much with me I should return the favor. Plus he knows what this is like. Maybe he could help me. I sigh and pull up my sleeves and show him my arms that match his so well. He takes one look at the scars, cuts, and burns on my arm before tears started falling down his face. “I should have noticed,” he whispered. “I hid it well,” I said, trying to comfort him. “I still should have noticed,” he said. I pull him into my arms and we stayed like that for what seemed like hours.

When he pulled back he said,” We need to tell your dad.” “No,’ I said almost instantly. “Look Chloe he has to know. He has to get you help. Trust me you won’t be able to stop on your own. Plus you were about to end it all. Trust me okay. Plus I’ll be right by your side. I’ll be there every step of the way. Let me be your everything better plan.” “Did you just quote your band,” I ask trying to hide my giggles. “Oh shut up. Alex was always better with words. So will you tell him? It’ll be for the best.” “Fine,” I said not really wanting to do this at all.

Telling daddy about the self harm and how I was about to attempt suicide was one of the worst experiences ever, but I’m glad I did it. Jack was right. He helped a lot. After crying of course. He got himself help for his drinking and me help for my self harm and depression. Jack was also there every step of the way cheering me on. I’m really glad I have that man in my life. I would be dead without him. He really is my everything better plan and I love him to death.

Notes

This story is for all-time-low-band-and-crew on tumblr. I really hope you like it and I'm waiting for All Time Low lol. ;) If any of you have a one shot you want written I'm staring to take requests. Just message me on here our you could go to my tumblr and send me an ask and I'll get to it as soon as possible. Well anyways I hope you like it!