Starlight
XIII
“Alex, you know that what you did is against rules,” said one of the elders, folding his light brown wings behind his back and trying to keep them calm.
“I know, but I needed to speak to him. Otherwise he would’ve seen me and that’s against rules too!” he needed to win this fight, he knew there’s not much hope of him winning over the elder but he had to try. There’s only few more days left before their worlds will collide and then he’ll be allowed to speak to Jack and no one could stop him.
“Yes, that is against rules, but you were warned that it is dangerous and you shouldn’t even go there but you did it anyways and you get stuck! You didn’t follow rules and there for you know what the consequences are for that.”
No. They can’t do that to him! Just few more days. He can’t let them take his wings! It’s all he got! If they do that, he’ll be sent to Earth. He’ll be fallen angel. He’ll be marked forever and even Jack will see that he’s not the way angels are supposed to be.
“Please, don’t,” he pleaded the elder, “it doesn’t matter now anyways. We all are leaving in few days and we all will be there so why do you need to do this to me. It just causes you more problems! Less time to prepare everyone and make sure everyone is okay!”
“Don’t try to change my mind. You know what you did was wrong…”
“Exactly! I know it was wrong and against rules! I understand that so you don’t need to do that!”
“…what you did was wrong and it doesn’t matter if we all will be there in less than two days. You need to get the punishment.”
“No,” I whispered and fell down on my knees. They can’t do this. He felt cold wind against his bare skin and he wrapped his dark brown wings around him, feeling hot tears building up in his eyes. This is probably last time he can feel them. They will never be the same. Everyone will know that he’s an outcast. Yes, maybe those wings have some magical power but they’re not his and never will be. He doesn’t want them, he wants his own wings. His dark brown wings, that are not too big or too small, that kept him warm in cold winter nights and gave him a shade on hot summer day.
“You knew the consequences. You knew what you can’t do but you did it anyway. I’m sorry, Alex,” the elder said quietly, before he unfolded his wings with so much force that it created wind, making Alex to shiver and wrap himself tighter in the warmth of his wings.
“Take him,” he heard elder’s voice, he heard steps and he felt rough hand pushing away his wings to reveal his arms. He felt those rough hands pulling him up but he didn’t look at them. Even if he would look, he wasn’t sure he would see their faces through his teary eyes.
His hands were tied with strong ropes that were attached to the log, prepared for situations like this one. They gave him some kind of drugs so that he's weaker and unable to hurt them with his wings. When he was younger he always wondered why these other angels never fought. It was obvious that they could’ve escaped, but they didn’t try. Well, not as much as they could. Of course, they tried to hit others with their wings, but everyone knew that we can do much more and now he know why. Because of these drugs. They made him feel weak, they made him feel like his wings would be made of iron.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see four angels coming towards him, all of them going behind. Two of them had knives in their hands. They weren’t your normal kitchen knives. No, these were bigger, longer and probably sharper too. They were created to cut. To cut something strong, something big, something that were still alive. They were made to do it fast and without any mistakes.
He couldn’t see what they were doing behind him but he hoped that they will take as much time as possible. He knew that it was too late and he will lose his wings but he didn’t want to feel the pain. It was one thing he was scared of – pain.
“In this other world there will be an angel. He will find you and he will help you. A little bit, because we all know that after what you did, you don’t deserve much help.”
“I didn’t do anything that bad!” he glared at the elder standing in front of him.
In angel society there’s many rules and for a good reason. People can’t know about their existence and most of the rules are about that. They can’t be seen, they can’t be heard and it was elder’s job to make sure that everyone knew and followed these rules. It was also their job to ‘mark’ those who made mistakes. In this case – Alex.
All of them thought that it’s right, that it’s right to put your brothers and sisters through these pains. Even Alex himself once thought like that. He guessed that everyone thought like that but that changed when he needed to be the one who got the punishment, when he got marked.
He knew everything about black angels. He knew how they were created. He learned about that at school, his parents told him and he even got to meet some of them when they returned but they never got truly accepted. Everyone always watched them, expected them to slip and make another mistake. They told that in human world you can hide your wings and it makes everything easier but it’s hard to always control them. Those wings are bigger, they’re heavier and it’s harder to always keep them hidden. They said that they always needed to worry were they slept and who would be able to see them ‘cause when the angel sleeps their body relaxes and that makes them loose control, their wings become visible for everyone.
They told that it’s hard to fulfill their destiny. Most of the black angels died in human world, without getting back home but what would Alex do now. He won’t have place to return, there will be no home for him. Just that other angel who will find him and hopefully Jack. It doesn’t matter if he fulfills his destiny because there’s no way he can get back home. Does it even matter if he does everything right? Even if there would be home to return, he couldn’t get his wings back. He’ll be stuck with those black wings. That will be his mark forever.
“You will be accepted back in our society after you’re finished with your mission,” said the elder.
Alex wanted to snort at that. He knew that black angels, the one with mark, they never got fully accepted. His snort was cut short when he felt sudden sharp pain on his back. He knew what it was. He felt strong hands holding his other wing in the place but that didn’t stop him. He used all his strength to pull his wings away, he knew it’s useless but at least he tried. The pain didn’t stop, they increased. They knew what to do and they did it the right way. They did their job fast.
He felt warm liquid running down his back and he felt hot tears on his cheeks. He felt naked, he felt exposed to the whole world and what was the worst – he felt light. There weren’t any extra weight on his back. There were just pain and blood. He didn’t know how bad it looked. When he was little, his mom never let him see this and maybe that’s better. At least he doesn’t know how horrible he looked.
He felt too weak, weaker than before. Probably because of the blood loss. He looked up at little crowd standing there and watching. He saw his mother’s tear stained face and his fathers disappointed one. He looked back down, feeling himself getting weaker by every passing second.
Usually he would be left here for the night and only then sent to the Earth but there were no time. He felt hands untying him and dragging him away. Before he could see the room he was pulled in, he passed out. From pain or drugs, or both it didn’t matter to him. At least it’s over now.
When he woke up it was dark and it was cold. He felt impressive weight on his back. It was hard to open his eyes. Every part of his body felt heavy but he forced himself to open his eyes. He needed to see where he is.
“Finally! You didn’t look so weak when I found you,” that voice! All Alex hoped for that to be that angel. He don’t need some human to find him lying on the ground, probably still bleeding, “get up. It’s not good to sleep on the ground, god knows what’s been there before.”
That made Alex to open his eyes and sit up. Too fast. It made the world in front of him to spin and that only made him feel worse.
“Not so fast, okay? There’s still some things you need to get used to and you’re probably still full with the drugs they gave you.”
He looked at the guy sitting in front of him. He didn’t look like an angel, Alex had never seen angel like him back at the home. Short cut brown hair, shy smile on his lips but what surprised Alex was muscles. He had seen people like that but angels didn’t need that! They had wings! Wings were strong enough to protect them from anything!
“My name’s Zack. I know you’re Alex and I got you some clothes. You wouldn’t want to walk around shirtless, right?” he chuckled.
It was cold, Alex had to admit that but there still was that weight on his shoulders. Before he opened his eyes he thought it might be someone holding him but this can’t be this Zack, he’s not that close to him. He turned his head back to see the source of the weight.
“Holly shit,” he whispered, looking at huge, black wings. With him sitting on the ground wings were folded in an awkward position, half of them still lying on the ground. Other marked angels didn’t lie. They were heavy, they were big and he could bet that it was hard to control them.
“You need to learn to hide them and keep them that way. It’s hard at first and you probably will lose control over them but once you learn it and have full control over them, they won’t appear even when you’ll be sleeping.”
“How do I…how is that even possible to hide them? They’re just…they’re so…big…”
“Here, take these clothes, I live right around the corner. You’ll be staying with me for the few days but after that you can’t stay there,” he gave Alex bag with some clothes in it – black jeans, plain white t-shirt, black hoodie and sneakers.
“But how do I hide them?” Alex looked away from his wings and looked at Zack with desperate expression.
“Just concentrate and keep them close to your back.”
“Do you…yours are black too?” he whispered, like a little kid scared to make other angry.
“Yeah, but trust me, it’s not that hard. You’ll get used to the size and weight,” Zack stood up and looked at Alex, waiting for him to follow.
He got up and now felt the whole weight of the wings. They were twice as heavy as his brown ones.
“Is it true that those wings can heal?” he followed Zack, carefully folding big wings on his back.
“Yes, everything you’ve heard is true. Everything about magic, about our history how we were haunted when we returned home. It’s all true.”
“Mhm…” Alex hummed in response trying to concentrate and hide his wings, “why can’t I stay with you longer? Why just few days?”
“It’s not allowed. You learn how to hide and control your wings and you’re out of my house. Of course you can still come to me if you have some questions but that’s all.”
“And what about my human? What about Jack? How will I find him?”
“You won’t, he will find you,” Zack shrugged and opened some doors that lead in the dark building.
“How can he find me if he doesn’t even…”
“Calm down, Alex. He will feel you, he’ll just know, okay? Don’t worry about that. Your biggest worries now are those wings.”
“I know, but I needed to speak to him. Otherwise he would’ve seen me and that’s against rules too!” he needed to win this fight, he knew there’s not much hope of him winning over the elder but he had to try. There’s only few more days left before their worlds will collide and then he’ll be allowed to speak to Jack and no one could stop him.
“Yes, that is against rules, but you were warned that it is dangerous and you shouldn’t even go there but you did it anyways and you get stuck! You didn’t follow rules and there for you know what the consequences are for that.”
No. They can’t do that to him! Just few more days. He can’t let them take his wings! It’s all he got! If they do that, he’ll be sent to Earth. He’ll be fallen angel. He’ll be marked forever and even Jack will see that he’s not the way angels are supposed to be.
“Please, don’t,” he pleaded the elder, “it doesn’t matter now anyways. We all are leaving in few days and we all will be there so why do you need to do this to me. It just causes you more problems! Less time to prepare everyone and make sure everyone is okay!”
“Don’t try to change my mind. You know what you did was wrong…”
“Exactly! I know it was wrong and against rules! I understand that so you don’t need to do that!”
“…what you did was wrong and it doesn’t matter if we all will be there in less than two days. You need to get the punishment.”
“No,” I whispered and fell down on my knees. They can’t do this. He felt cold wind against his bare skin and he wrapped his dark brown wings around him, feeling hot tears building up in his eyes. This is probably last time he can feel them. They will never be the same. Everyone will know that he’s an outcast. Yes, maybe those wings have some magical power but they’re not his and never will be. He doesn’t want them, he wants his own wings. His dark brown wings, that are not too big or too small, that kept him warm in cold winter nights and gave him a shade on hot summer day.
“You knew the consequences. You knew what you can’t do but you did it anyway. I’m sorry, Alex,” the elder said quietly, before he unfolded his wings with so much force that it created wind, making Alex to shiver and wrap himself tighter in the warmth of his wings.
“Take him,” he heard elder’s voice, he heard steps and he felt rough hand pushing away his wings to reveal his arms. He felt those rough hands pulling him up but he didn’t look at them. Even if he would look, he wasn’t sure he would see their faces through his teary eyes.
His hands were tied with strong ropes that were attached to the log, prepared for situations like this one. They gave him some kind of drugs so that he's weaker and unable to hurt them with his wings. When he was younger he always wondered why these other angels never fought. It was obvious that they could’ve escaped, but they didn’t try. Well, not as much as they could. Of course, they tried to hit others with their wings, but everyone knew that we can do much more and now he know why. Because of these drugs. They made him feel weak, they made him feel like his wings would be made of iron.
Out of the corner of his eye he could see four angels coming towards him, all of them going behind. Two of them had knives in their hands. They weren’t your normal kitchen knives. No, these were bigger, longer and probably sharper too. They were created to cut. To cut something strong, something big, something that were still alive. They were made to do it fast and without any mistakes.
He couldn’t see what they were doing behind him but he hoped that they will take as much time as possible. He knew that it was too late and he will lose his wings but he didn’t want to feel the pain. It was one thing he was scared of – pain.
“In this other world there will be an angel. He will find you and he will help you. A little bit, because we all know that after what you did, you don’t deserve much help.”
“I didn’t do anything that bad!” he glared at the elder standing in front of him.
In angel society there’s many rules and for a good reason. People can’t know about their existence and most of the rules are about that. They can’t be seen, they can’t be heard and it was elder’s job to make sure that everyone knew and followed these rules. It was also their job to ‘mark’ those who made mistakes. In this case – Alex.
All of them thought that it’s right, that it’s right to put your brothers and sisters through these pains. Even Alex himself once thought like that. He guessed that everyone thought like that but that changed when he needed to be the one who got the punishment, when he got marked.
He knew everything about black angels. He knew how they were created. He learned about that at school, his parents told him and he even got to meet some of them when they returned but they never got truly accepted. Everyone always watched them, expected them to slip and make another mistake. They told that in human world you can hide your wings and it makes everything easier but it’s hard to always control them. Those wings are bigger, they’re heavier and it’s harder to always keep them hidden. They said that they always needed to worry were they slept and who would be able to see them ‘cause when the angel sleeps their body relaxes and that makes them loose control, their wings become visible for everyone.
They told that it’s hard to fulfill their destiny. Most of the black angels died in human world, without getting back home but what would Alex do now. He won’t have place to return, there will be no home for him. Just that other angel who will find him and hopefully Jack. It doesn’t matter if he fulfills his destiny because there’s no way he can get back home. Does it even matter if he does everything right? Even if there would be home to return, he couldn’t get his wings back. He’ll be stuck with those black wings. That will be his mark forever.
“You will be accepted back in our society after you’re finished with your mission,” said the elder.
Alex wanted to snort at that. He knew that black angels, the one with mark, they never got fully accepted. His snort was cut short when he felt sudden sharp pain on his back. He knew what it was. He felt strong hands holding his other wing in the place but that didn’t stop him. He used all his strength to pull his wings away, he knew it’s useless but at least he tried. The pain didn’t stop, they increased. They knew what to do and they did it the right way. They did their job fast.
He felt warm liquid running down his back and he felt hot tears on his cheeks. He felt naked, he felt exposed to the whole world and what was the worst – he felt light. There weren’t any extra weight on his back. There were just pain and blood. He didn’t know how bad it looked. When he was little, his mom never let him see this and maybe that’s better. At least he doesn’t know how horrible he looked.
He felt too weak, weaker than before. Probably because of the blood loss. He looked up at little crowd standing there and watching. He saw his mother’s tear stained face and his fathers disappointed one. He looked back down, feeling himself getting weaker by every passing second.
Usually he would be left here for the night and only then sent to the Earth but there were no time. He felt hands untying him and dragging him away. Before he could see the room he was pulled in, he passed out. From pain or drugs, or both it didn’t matter to him. At least it’s over now.
When he woke up it was dark and it was cold. He felt impressive weight on his back. It was hard to open his eyes. Every part of his body felt heavy but he forced himself to open his eyes. He needed to see where he is.
“Finally! You didn’t look so weak when I found you,” that voice! All Alex hoped for that to be that angel. He don’t need some human to find him lying on the ground, probably still bleeding, “get up. It’s not good to sleep on the ground, god knows what’s been there before.”
That made Alex to open his eyes and sit up. Too fast. It made the world in front of him to spin and that only made him feel worse.
“Not so fast, okay? There’s still some things you need to get used to and you’re probably still full with the drugs they gave you.”
He looked at the guy sitting in front of him. He didn’t look like an angel, Alex had never seen angel like him back at the home. Short cut brown hair, shy smile on his lips but what surprised Alex was muscles. He had seen people like that but angels didn’t need that! They had wings! Wings were strong enough to protect them from anything!
“My name’s Zack. I know you’re Alex and I got you some clothes. You wouldn’t want to walk around shirtless, right?” he chuckled.
It was cold, Alex had to admit that but there still was that weight on his shoulders. Before he opened his eyes he thought it might be someone holding him but this can’t be this Zack, he’s not that close to him. He turned his head back to see the source of the weight.
“Holly shit,” he whispered, looking at huge, black wings. With him sitting on the ground wings were folded in an awkward position, half of them still lying on the ground. Other marked angels didn’t lie. They were heavy, they were big and he could bet that it was hard to control them.
“You need to learn to hide them and keep them that way. It’s hard at first and you probably will lose control over them but once you learn it and have full control over them, they won’t appear even when you’ll be sleeping.”
“How do I…how is that even possible to hide them? They’re just…they’re so…big…”
“Here, take these clothes, I live right around the corner. You’ll be staying with me for the few days but after that you can’t stay there,” he gave Alex bag with some clothes in it – black jeans, plain white t-shirt, black hoodie and sneakers.
“But how do I hide them?” Alex looked away from his wings and looked at Zack with desperate expression.
“Just concentrate and keep them close to your back.”
“Do you…yours are black too?” he whispered, like a little kid scared to make other angry.
“Yeah, but trust me, it’s not that hard. You’ll get used to the size and weight,” Zack stood up and looked at Alex, waiting for him to follow.
He got up and now felt the whole weight of the wings. They were twice as heavy as his brown ones.
“Is it true that those wings can heal?” he followed Zack, carefully folding big wings on his back.
“Yes, everything you’ve heard is true. Everything about magic, about our history how we were haunted when we returned home. It’s all true.”
“Mhm…” Alex hummed in response trying to concentrate and hide his wings, “why can’t I stay with you longer? Why just few days?”
“It’s not allowed. You learn how to hide and control your wings and you’re out of my house. Of course you can still come to me if you have some questions but that’s all.”
“And what about my human? What about Jack? How will I find him?”
“You won’t, he will find you,” Zack shrugged and opened some doors that lead in the dark building.
“How can he find me if he doesn’t even…”
“Calm down, Alex. He will feel you, he’ll just know, okay? Don’t worry about that. Your biggest worries now are those wings.”
Notes
Alex's backstory...it kind of looks like total mindfuck when I reread it but I hope it makes sense and I hope you get what I meant by all that ;D if not than feel free to ask and I'll do my best to answer!
@cherryhead97
I didn't know that people are still reading this! ;D
11/19/14