Wanted Man

-Alex’s Point of View-

I couldn’t help it that I was nice. I guess some people thought I was a bit forward, and it bothered them? But I didn’t let those few get to me since most people liked me. There was three reasons I was kind.
One, because I wished someone was there to be comforting and gentle with me after Tom.
Two, because it was my cover, without it people would see the bitter hateful man I’d become. And thirdly, I knew I would crumble if I didn't have something to focus on; Helping others was holding me to reality.
My concern for the well being of others had secured my position in this town as sheriff. Aside from that, it was all I had wanted to do since my brother was taken away from me. He had been my father figure. I wanted to be able to be a father figure too. That's why my main goal used to be to start a family and maybe go into trading or something. But when he died.. er.. was murdered.. and the law didn't go after his killers, I knew something had to change. So I put all my time and effort into following our old sheriff around and learning from him. Then, when he died peacefully of old age, everyone thought it was best that I took over since I was the unofficial deputy. I gladly took the position and I’ve been searching for that man ever since.
But here I was, still in the same town, and with no clues about the location of the man. I don't know why I never said his name. I guess saying.. Jack.. made it all more real and official. I still remember one of his friends calling out Jack’s name, ingraining it in my memory seemingly forever. I feel like I’ll never get away from this town to find him, but one day, I will get my revenge. But until then, I was here with Jay. He seemed a little shy, since he was dodging most of my questions, but maybe I was intimidating him. I did just invite him, a total stranger, into my house. I guess that was just part of my nature.
I swung open the door for Jay, leading him into my house. I wouldn’t call it large or small, more medium. I don’t know, it was just homey. I felt comfortable here, and I hope he did too.
He hasn’t said much after he found out I was the sheriff. That usually makes people more talkative, always wanting to do me favors to get on my good side. But Jay, well he had just closed up inside, putting up countless walls that were my responsibility to break down. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
“Jay?” I said as I softly touched his shoulder.
He jumped, his eyes filled with a wild and crazed look. He blinked a few times and his eyes refocused.
He offered me a sheepish smile, “Sorry, you scared me.”
I smiled, “It’s alright, I was just wondering if you were hungry?”
He nodded his head furiously and I laughed as he blushed again.
I walked into the kitchen, able to feel Jay’s eyes burning on my back. I heard his unsure shuffle as he followed me and almost laughed out loud. It was adorable how awkward he was. Shit. I just called him adorable. Tom always said it was wrong and disgusting how I felt about other men. It was wrong. I knew it was wrong too. Tom had always been setting me up with girls when I was younger. He was desperately trying to get me to show signs of interest, but even at 16 I had already known that life wasn't for me. And it made Tom furious. He didn't want to have a queer as his little brother. He told me I was never allowed to tell anyone else and that he would rather see me dead than with another man. I cried that night. And the night after that. And the night after that, for months on end. But I knew Tom was right. Everything said that being.. being one of them.. was a sin. So after he died, I was left alone with my secret. The old ladies at the church would always tease me, asking who my secret lover was. They thought I was seeing a girl from another town, insisting that someone with my looks and charm couldn’t go through life alone forever. But that was how it was going to be if I had anything to do with it. It wouldn’t be fair to the women if I led her on with false love. And I refused disappoint Tom and the rest of the world by coming out as gay. I would be alone, and everyone would be happy. Except me.
I sighed as I placed the steaming bowl of stew in front of Jay. I hoped he couldn't see through my mask to the thoughts that were plaguing me inside.

Notes

Title Cred: City Boy by Frankie Laine
Oh. My. Good. Lord.
This has so many subscribers and votes for only having one chapter!!
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I realize this chapter is pretty short, but I think I'll have another chapter up later tonight. I missed yesterday's update cause I'm a lame butt... so sorry about that ;-;
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