Vic had been carrying me for only a few minutes when he loosened his grip on me. I reluctantly loosened my legs and placed my feet back onto the ground, swaying slightly. He placed his arm tightly round my waist to hold me up. We were stood outside of a house I had never seen before. Vic knocked the glossy red door in front of us. It swung open almost immediately. The girl stood behind it smiled at Vic and then saw me. She tried to keep her expression the same, but her smile faltered pretty obviously. I couldn’t blame her; I couldn’t imagine how disgusting I looked. She stared at us in confusion.

“Can we come in?” Vic asked.

“Uh… yeah, sure thing” the girl answered pleasantly, trying to hide her surprise. Vic nodded once with a smile and led me through the door and into her living room. He knew where he was going so I assumed he’d been here before. He sat me down on a large couch, keeping his arm round me as he perched on the edge, next to me.

“Do you want a drink? Something to eat?” he asked. I shook my head, glancing over to the girl stood in the doorway who was eyeing me curiously. Vic followed my gaze, realising she had a stranger sat in her living room.

“Fuck, sorry Sam. Phoebe this is Sam, she’s one of our merch girls. I’m staying with her at the moment, while I’m in the UK” That explained how he knew the place.

“Hey” I spoke quietly with a slight smile, the best I could manage.

“Sam, this is Phoebe. Ex – guitar tech and a very good friend of mine” Vic looked at me with warm eyes as he spoke.

“Nice to meet you Phoebe” She said, smiling sympathetically back at me. She obviously realised something was going on.

“So, are you ready to tell me what’s wrong now?” He asked softly. I unintentionally flicked my eyes over to Sam, still leant against the door frame. She looked back at me for a second before suddenly realising that this was a conversation I preferred to have alone.

“I’ll just…” She backed out of the room, trying to think of something to say. I gave her a slight smile as thanks before she gave up trying to finish her sentence and left us alone. I dropped my eyes to the floor and inhaled deeply, desperately trying to work out what to say next. Vic just sat patiently waiting for me to speak, his arm still tightly round my waist.


I told him everything. How I had lost all of my family, how I had watched my brother spiralling out of control, how he took his life and left me all alone. I told him how I had to sell the family home and most of our possessions to buy my flat, how I alienated all of my friends and lost my job. The hardest part was telling him about the cutting. The times me and him had shared, the best year of my life, were long gone now. Vic sat and listened without once interrupting me or digging for more information. He only held me closer when the tears came.

“Why didn’t you call me?” I could tell by the slight strain in his voice he was still taking it all in.

“I wanted to”

“What stopped you?”

“I don’t know. Everything was such a mess, it still is”


“I don’t care what it is, if anything like this ever happens again you fucking call me. Promise me”

“I’m not your responsibility Vic”

“Phoebs…” He gently took my wrist in his hand, brushing back my sleeve.

“This needs to stop” He faintly traced the older scars, purposely missing out the fresh ones. I sighed, wiping under my eyes with my free hand.

“It’s not that easy”

“It is if you want it to be. And don’t try ignoring my calls either, because I won’t give up so easy this time”

“I won’t ignore your calls ever again, I’ll promise you that if nothing else. I’ve missed you way too much” I swung my legs over his lap, wrapping my arms around his waist. Vic rested his chin on my head.

“I’ve missed you too” I could feel his warm breath on my scalp as he spoke. We sat like that for a while, not exchanging any words. But it was a comfortable silence.

“What are you doing in England anyway?”

“I had a people to see and some guest vocals to record. But I’m flying home tomorrow” The sadness in his voice mirrored my own.

“Oh” There was nothing else I could say. I wanted him to stay more than anything, but I couldn’t expect him to do anything for me after I ignored him for all this time. Vic huffed, kissing my hair.

“Well, say hi to the boys for me. Tell them I’ve missed them all, and that I’m sorry” A lump emerged in my throat when I thought of them. Vic was quiet for a long time before he answered.

“Why don’t you tell them yourself?”

“I...I don’t follow” I frowned at him. Were they here too? Why didn’t he tell me!

“You have no job and no friends here. And if I’m completely honest, I’m scared what you’ll do to yourself if I leave you here alone Phoebs” What the hell was he talking about?

“Come with me”

Notes

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