He Hasn't Been Sober For Days

"Good morning Baltimore! Up next Sex, by the 1975!"

Drink. I could smell drink. More specifically, I could smell it on me. So much for giving that up, ey. Oranges. I could also smell oranges. My house definitely does not smell like oranges. And my sofa does definitely not come with an installed Alex Gaskarth.

I nudge Alex as my eyes whirr around the situation. Ok, why am I curled around him. Why can I see beer bottles. Cuddling and alcohol is not two things I like to put together. Oh fuckaroo.

"Urmh Alex.. wake up."

"Bleeeh, whaaat?"

"I kinda fell asleep on you last night."

"And there was me thinking I got trampled by an elephant."

"Shut up, you fag." I couldn't help but smile at his witty humour showing even though he'd only been awake for seconds.

"Ouch Jack, my poor heart."

"No seriously... I'm sorry. I'm assuming I was a bit more than gone last night and I want to apologise. I have no idea what happened."

"It's cool man. But.. no idea at all?"

"Not one."

"Well, you said you wanted to come round for a jam session, but then well.. you got a bit suggestive. We kinda kissed, and then you fell asleep on me whilst we were watching Home Alone."
Woah. No way on this planet did I do any of these things. What a fucking fibber. Did he think I wanted his dick or something?

"What the fuck?" I stood up and stared at Alex,"There's no way I did any of that. Are you sure you're not making this up?"

"Jack, I'm not retarded. You were here last night, and you're here this morning, are you not? You can't deny your current position mate."
I don't do romantic stuff. Nuh uh, this is not me. He must be making up some other person. God knows, I barely know the man, he could be having men over to 'help him out' every night, and I wouldn't be to know. I must have walked over in the night, yes that's it.

"I think you're mistaken. That was most certainly not me last night. I don't kiss guys. I haven't in years."

"Well looks like your times up Barakat."

"Don't call me that! I have nothing to do with the Barakat family. Now you can take your lies and shove them up your anal cavity, as I sure ain't going up there."

"Jack! Slow down, have you got a hangover?"

"Hardly. Don't fucking interrupt me, I am clearing my name of not doing these things."

"I don't have guys around here all the time Jack, I think I'm pretty aware of whether you were here or not."

"Well this must be different! I'm leaving, I'm not dealing with this bullshit."


I stumbled out the room as Alex just sat looking baffled, with his hair sticking out at all directions. I don't have time for this crap, he clearly lured me here during the night. Thanks, but no thanks. All I need is my alcohol, none of that relationship shit. I know what I need, and it definitely isn't labelled Alex Gaskarth.

Notes

I KNOW THIS IS SHIT AND I KNOW I HAVEN'T WROTE ANYTHING ON HERE FOR MORE THAN A MONTH BLAAAAAAH DON'T HATE ME - sherbetherbert