He Hasn't Been Sober For Days

"I wanted you, I needed you..."

Who am I even fucking talking to? The wallpaper? This house has needed some DIY for a long time, been meaning to tear down the goddamn awful floral wallpaper since I moved in, but I guess I'll have to settle for tearing myself down instead. I can almost feel the unimpressed shame that the house has for me, for letting it get to this appalling state that it's in right now, when it has so much potential. Thanks house, I feel that too...


I feel like I've drunk a gallon of whiskey, which is probably nail bitingly close to the truth. I groan as I sit up on the battered old sofa, as I realise I owe the company I rented this from. I owe them the money tomorrow. I put all my money in whiskey. I run my hands over my 2 day old stubble, but pause as I hear the doorbell. Fuck,fuck, fuckity fuck! Of course I forgot the fucking landlord was coming over. What time is it, 3pm? I hurry around the living room where I've been slumbering since coming home from meeting Alex, and attempt to sweep all the rubbish under the chair. God, this place reeks and I need a shower badly it hurts to even smell myself. This landlord had better be quick. I stumble over to the door, realising I'm not as sober as I thought. This just gets better and better. I take a sip of some whiskey I must have left by the door at some point for liquid courage. Blearily I open the door, to see a fuming woman in my face. I should start booking appointments for people to lay into me.


"Hello Mr Barakat. How nice of you to open the door, considering you've been fending off my calls all day. I wanted to check it was okay if I brought some potential homebuyers with me to have a look around." I look over her shoulder to see an annoyed looking couple with a little girl. Ah. So that's what all those irritating voicemails were about. Hm. Probably should have picked that up.


"I really hate to tell you this Mr Barakat, but I have no other option. You're 6 days late on your rent, and this isn't the first time. You've also let the house drop to a shocking level of hygiene. I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave, and drop off the due rent at the office. If you could please wait outside whilst I show this family around, then we can sort the situation out, that'd be great. Thank you for your time." I step back and stare at the snobby blonde as she struts past me, family in tow behind her, and the little girl giggles as she glances as me from under her innocent curls. I feel sorry for you kid. You don't know what the world has in store for you yet. I trip over my own doormat as I go to sit outside. What else does the world want to throw at me? Wouldn't stones hurt less? You know what, I'm not sitting here whilst I wait for that snotty bitch to trot around my damn apartment that I paid for with the insurance money. I am so done with this. All of this. I need to get out of here before I hit a wall and fuck myself up even more. I kick over a dying plant as I run out of my tiny garden that I used to care for, and stalk over to the pub across the street.


I can't stay here anymore. I've decided what I'm going to do, I'm going to go stay with my sister May. Yes, that's it, that's perfect! I can go stay with her and her boyfriend for a bit whilst I look for a new apartment. Maybe she'll lend me some money to buy said apartment too. Perfect.

I pull out my phone that I probably owe money on too, and dial in a number I haven't dialled in a while. I hum determinedly as I wait for her to pick up. Come on May, don't let me down now sis.

"Hello, May Barakat speaking. Who am I talking to?"


"It's me, Jack! Don't you have my number saved? Long time no talk sis."


"...Is this some kind of sick joke? Where have you BEEN?!"


"Urmh May, calm down, I've just been in a bit of a shit place recently, I'm sorry..."


"YOU BASTARD! All of us have been worried to death about you! Do you have any idea what we've gone through? Especially since dad?"


"May, do we really have to this now? Really?"


"When have we EVER done this Jack? When have we ever talked about Dad? About what happened? Where have you been for me, huh?"


"Honestly, I can't do this right now. Please."


"Why in Gods name have you even rung me Barakat?"


"Yeah, about that, I was wondering if I could ask you a favour..."


"Don't choke on your spit dear."


"So, urm, I was wondering if I could come stay with you for a bit? I mean, my landlords kicked me out and I thought - "


"Woah. Stop right there. You honestly think you have any chance in hell that I'll let you come traipsing to me. You honestly do. You're so ignorant Jack, if you pissed on your own fireplace, you'd blame the dog. What money exactly do you suppose you'll use to get yourself to mine,hmm? I don't suppose you've still got a penny of Dad's money. Not. A. Penny. That ain't my problem Jack. It never has been, and it never will be. You're a worthless piece of shit, and I don't need that anywhere near me. Go bother someone who gives a fuck."

Shit. Shit shit shit. I've messed things up. I've messed things up, messed that mess up then kicked the mess remaining around a bit more. I choke back my drunk tears as I walk slowly and carefully, so as not to drip over my falling tears that will surely drown me, and slide down the wall outside the pub and howl. I howl for all the chances I let slip out of my grasp. I sob for all the lost opportunities I kicked in the face. I whimper for all the relationships I've fucked up. And I wail for the things that never will be.


After staring blankly at a wall that's having a better life than me for longer than I care to count, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I swear to god, if that's May ringing me back to piss on my parade even more, I swear I'll end it now. I pull my phone out, and look in shock at whose name comes up on the screen. Well, if it ain't Alex Gaskarth asking to hang out, then my name isn't Jack Barakat. I guess he must have seen the number I slipped into his pocket at the coffee shop. Result!

"Hey Alex. You're just what I need right now. Fancy doing me a favour Gaskarth?"

Notes

I've watched a whole series of American Horror Story in 3 days, so I'm sorry if I'm a bit affected by that in my writing. I wanna write gore in this so much, but you guys would hate me so much. Talking of hating me so much, I was listening to I Hate You So Much // Anarbor and Every High Has A Comedown whilst writing this. Go listen to it you giant daffodils.

Hey guys, I really like this chapter so I hope you do too! I go back to school tomorrow (urgh.) so I might not be as quick putting up my chapters from now on. Sorry, sue my school if you're mad, I wish I could. Please comment, rate and subscribe, all that wonderful jazz!:) - sherbetherbert