Old Faces and New Places

I laid for hours on my bed sobbing into my pillow. The anger I felt for my past fiancée made the tears sting but no more that the pain that felt like a stabbing pain in my gut. Outside the rain pounded against the windows and dark clouds circled the skies menacingly. It was a perfect match to my mood."Shush, Ash. It's okay. You don't have to see him again," chris said comfortingly as he rubbed soothing circles on my back.
"I can't believe he played me. I loved him, chris," I sobbed "I really did,"
"I know," he continued rubbing circles on my back. I knew he didn't really know how much I loved him. It was just something you say when someone else is confiding in you. I wished he did know though, so I wasn't completely alone.
"Then he had sex with my best friend and got her pregnant," I sniffled. Even the thought angered and upset me.
"Ashley, it's okay. You never have to see that son of a bitch ever again. I know he hurt you. I know he broke your heart and you didn't deserve any of that. I just wish..." He let out an exhale like he wanted to say something.
I sat up, finally feeling like my eyes had been completely drained of tears "you wish what?" I choked out, my throat feeling dry and closed.
He looked down before up into my eyes again "I just wish that... You knew how I felt about you,"
I gasped at this but he grabbed one of my hands and held it gently between his large ones.
"I would never be stupid enough to hurt you. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met and.. I-I love you Ashley Black," he said looking deep into my eyes. If I had had any tears left I was sure my eyes would've been watering after hearing his kind words.
"Let me try and fix you, let me show you that not every guy you meet is a heartless tool like Alex," he said to me as my heart pounded in my chest.
"Chris..." I gasped. I always thought of him as just a great friend. I never noticed how beautiful his eyes were. I got butterflies in my stomach looking at them.
He began to movie his lips in towards mine and my breath hitched in anticipation. My mind went blank and I could think of no reason not to lean in too. We both closed our eyes and waited for them to connect when there was a loud hammering on the door that startled us both so we jumped away from eachother. I looked over at him with a hand to my chest and let out a snigger.
"Bloody hell, that scared me," I smiled before sighing "it was probably for the best that we didn't do that. I don't want to lose you too,"
I saw his eyes sadden but he nodded slowly "Yeah you're right,"
There was more hammering.
"Jeez, someone's impatient," I rolled my eyes while pulling myself off my bed and going to the top of the stairs.
Chris followed me closely "who'd go out in weather like this?" He frowned looking out the window at the cascade of water falling from the sky. It looked like god had turned on the shower all over Texas.
There was more hammering on the door.
"Ashley, open up. I know you're in there. Please just let me explain,"
I could recognise that voice anywhere. It was Alex.
"Do you want me to make him go away?" Chris asked softly from behind me.
My words got caught in my throat "I-it's okay, I'll t-talk to him," I said before composing myself and moving down the stairs towards the door followed by chris.
"I'll stand behind the door, okay?" Chris said to me and I nodded.
Alex started hammering again and I opened it mid knock so he stumbled forwards a little. I studied his appearance and he was completely soaked from head to toe and shivering.
"A-Ashley," he said my name as if the word hurt him. He said it with such sorrow in his eyes
I used to love it when he said my name but now I could barely stand to look at him.
"What are you doing here? It's like a 5 hour car ride," I asked, trying not to let myself be weak and let him inside.
"I had to see you," he said, his eyes full of guilt and pain.
"Well I think the fact that I left the tour was proof enough that I do not want to see you," I shook my head.
"I know Ash, look I'm such a dick, you never deserved to be treated the way I treated you, I was going to promise myself to you forever but... I ruined everything." He said, his eyes full of guilt and sadness.
"What are you even expecting by coming here? You broke my heart Alex, and just when I finally felt like we could be civil I found out that you had a baby with my best friend! And you left her!" I screeched, tears now streaming down my face.
"I left her because I never stopped loving you. It wasn't right to pretend to love her when all my heart was and always will be devoted to you!" Alex said in a pleading voice "I love you Ashley Black,"
"You had your chance Alex and you ruined it. I'm moving on," I said avoiding his eyes
He shook his head and I was sure I saw a tear trickle down his cheek "ash, p-please don't say that, baby please just give me another chance, I'll treat you better I swear. I'll never hurt you,"
I choked on my words. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to believe him. I didn't believe him. But the naive part of myself still loved him and couldn't bring myself to hurt him.
"Look Alex it seems to me that Ashley doesn't want you anymore, maybe you should go," chris appeared behind me.
"With all due respect man, I don't think I was talking to you," Alex frowned at him, his hair dripping wet from the downpour.
"If you're talking to Ashley then you're talking to me," chris said as he suddenly wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him. I gasped and looked up at him, confused at what he was doing.
Alex looked down at his hand on my waist and back up at chris with a scowl then to me and I looked down the the ground and shuffled my foot awkwardly.
"Oh I didn't know.." Alex said awkwardly with a tinge of sadness in his voice.
"Yeah, well we're together, actually thinking about getting a place soon, isnt that right Honey?" He said condescendingly looking down at me expectantly and I gulped. He started sliding his hand a little lower than my waist and I started feeling uncomfortable. As much as I found his eyes pretty, I didn't want him touching me just to make a point.
I looked down and nodded once timidly and he kissed my forehead "good girl," he whispered barely audible but I heard it and frowned.
"Oh," Alex looked down as the rain pounded down on him, I think he was trying not to let me see him sad.
"Do you want to come inside, you must be freezing lex," I said softly as I felt so bad for him.
"W-" Alex started but he was cut off.
"No, Alex is okay sweet pea, he doesn't want to come inside, we have to get back to making out on the couch," Chris said looking directly at Alex who glared at him.
Suddenly I felt Chris squeeze my ass and I moved away suddenly with a frown. "What are you doing?" I finally asked, moving away and putting my hands on my hips
Suddenly he flew towards me and his lips were on mine. He took advantage of my surprised gasp to invade my mouth with his tongue. He pressed me up against the wall holding my hips as he continued his assault on my mouth. I did not kiss back. I placed both of my hands on his upper chest and shoved hard so he stumbled away from me. I then slapped him across the face with all my might.
" what the fuck are you doing?!" I screamed at him before wiping at my mouth
"Ashley, what's going on? Are you two together or not?" Alex frowned at me. I looked at him with tears filling my eyes and shook my head.
Alex's jaw tightened and within a second he was on top of chris punching him in the face.
"Alex stop!" I exclaimed as I pulled him off Chris and he stepped away.
"What are you both doing?!" I screamed "Jesus Alex, you didn't need to punch him,"
"He kissed you and you didn't want it," Alex defended himself
"That's my problem, not yours!" I exclaimed "i don't need you to protect me, i can fend for myself,"
"i love you Ashley, I'll always protect you," Alex said moving towards me.
"Stop saying that! You had your chance and you blew it," I exclaimed before turning to chris "what is your problem?!" I screamed.
"I was trying to-" he started.
"I thought you were a good friend. I trusted you!" I cried before looking at the floor "then you force yourself on me, I thought you were different. You kissed me on purpose in front of Alex to pretend I was with you, you bastard," I yelled at him. He went to touch me "no, don't come anywhere near me. Either of you,"
I choked back a sob looking at the ground before back at the open door leading out into the heavy downpour.
"You know what? I can't handle this, chris go home. Alex go back to your fucking tour," I sobbed before rushing out of the house in a run.
"Ashley!" I heard the two voices call but I ran and ran. Within a few seconds I was soaked to the bone. I ran until I couldn't hear them anymore before I stopped and sobbed loudly. I sobbed for everything. I sobbed because Alex cheated. I sobbed because my best friend wasn't the person I thought he was. I sobbed because even after all he did I still loved Alex.
I looked around means saw I was near the old cafe where I used to work when I was a teenager. It was quite a tall building for your average cafe and it was on top of a hill so it had a stunning view over my whole town. It was where I used to go to reflect and hell, I needed one of those right now. I spotted the same ladder that I used to climb up and made the jump to reach the bottom bar of it. I then used the wall to get myself so I could climb up to the roof. When I reached it I treaded carefully down the slanted part of the roof before sitting down with my feet dangling off the edge looking out at the view. I don't know how long I sat there crying and thinking before I heard the sound of someone coming up the ladder. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes.
"Ashley baby, what are you doing up here?"I heard Alex's voice from behind me "please don't do anything stupid,"
"Im going to jump Alex, I just... Love the view," I said not turning my head to look at him.
"It's slippy, just come away from the edge. You might fall," he said to me and I turned to see him moving towards me holding out his hand to help me up with.
I climbed carefully up the slanted side and stood next to him and looked down at the ground.
"You're gonna catch your death out here," Alex said as he took off his coat and went to wrap it around me but I backed away and shook my head.
"No it's alright, you keep it, you're only in a t shirt and I'm fine anyway," I said as I tried to conceal the fact that my fingers were pretty much numb from the cold, harsh rain.
"Ash, you're only in a tank top and jeans and I can tell you're not fine," he said as he moved behind me and wrapped me up in his warm coat. The comforting scent of his cologne surrounded me as I slid my arms into the sleeves. I noticed he left his arms wrapped around my waist with his chin rested on my shoulder and I heard him let out a content exhale. I missed him; that I allowed myself to admit because it was true. We stayed like this in silence for a few moments until I heard him murmur something that made my heart stop.
"Hmmm," he hummed "I love you," he mumbled with his eyes closed and I pulled away.
"Alex, I can't-" I was cut off.
"Why not?" He asked stepping toward me "you and I are perfect together. you know that. I've never stopped loving you. Being away from you is torture for me, Ashley," he said as he closed the distance between us so our bodies were centimetres apart. I went to back away from him but he took both of my hands in his. I looked down at them together.
"You should have thought about that before you went and slept with other women," I said as tears mixed with the big drops of rain falling down my face.
"They meant nothing to me, you know what I'm like after I've had a couple of drinks," he said as I looked up into his big guilt-laden eyes.
"Well that's a lie, I thought you preferred those women. You told me so in the restaurant. You said you wanted someone less needy," I retorted, recalling those harsh words he said.
"I only said those things because I saw you with that Chris guy and I thought you had moved on. I was just angry and jealous," he said guiltily "ash, please,"
"What gives you the right to be jealous? What's it to you if I date someone?" I asked yanking my hands away from his.
"Because..." He started and took a deep breath and closed his eyes before stepping towards me so our bodies were touching and slid his big, calloused right hand around the side of my neck and cupped it. He gently tilted my head up and pressed his forehead against mine. He left his eyes closed and took another deep breath. My breath hitched in my throat.
"...Well, you're mine, Ashley Black." He said opening his eyes and looking into my watering ones "you're all mine and I'm all yours."
I was caught up in him for a moment. The world stopped turning for a second as I looked up into those chocolate eyes. Those very same chocolate eyes i fell in love with. He nudged my nose with his, in a sort of trance, and I felt compelled to let our lips connect. Then I felt reality rush up and slap me across the face.
"Bullshit!" I shook my head as I backed away from him "if I was yours and you were mine you never would have cheated in the first place."
"I'm so sorry Ash, you have to believe me." He said moving towards me
"Alex, you have to stop. You had your chance and you blew it. I can't go through this again," I shook my head. "You broke me, Alex. And just when I started to rebuild myself you come back. It's not fair,"
"Nothing is fair. I hate myself for what I did to you. I kick myself about it every day and I would do anything to have you back in my arms, just please give me another chance. I'll be better the time I swear. I love you Ashley," he came closer to me and I froze in place.
"Stop saying that! Saying it doesn't make it true, showing it does," I shook my head and looked down at the ground.
He lifted my chin with his finger gently so I had to look into his big eyes "then let me prove it to you. Give me a chance to show you how much I love you,"
"No Alex," I said shaking my head.
"Ashley please..." His eyes turned sad and he let out a sigh "I can't lose you,"
"You already have," I shook my head.
A tear dropped from his eye "no, that can't be true. Please ash, just give me another chance. I'll never hurt you again, I swear. I'll be the most faithful man in the world. Just... Please," he took one of my hands and held it tightly between his great big paws.
I closed my eyes at the feeling.
"Ashley," he whispered "look, I've fucked this up so bad and I know that if you ever took me back it would take you a long time to trust me again but I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. I just want you back. I miss you more than anything in this world. I crave you. I long for your taste, your scent, your body. I am completely yours,"
"Stop it," I pulled away, frowning "you can't do this to me again,"
"Ashley, if you can look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't still love me I'll leave you alone." He said coming closer again.
I looked up into his eyes feeling the rain on my cheeks "I-I can't... I c-can't do that, Alex,"
"Then why do you keep pulling away. If you still love me and I still love you what's there left to say?" He asked taking both my hands.
"What does it matter if I still love you if I can't trust you! i can hardly bare to look into your eyes because whenever I do, all I can see is what you did!" I yelled over the loud rain moving away from him even more "you're such an asshole. I wish I could hate you but I can't, Lex! I hate letting you make me feel like this. God, I'm such a fucking mess because of you!"
"Ashley I'm so sorry, you're right, I am the biggest asshole in the world," he pleaded "I can't believe I ruined what we had. Hurting you was-is the worst thing I've ever done. I miss you so much. I love you more than anything. Please take me back,"
"I can't, Alex. Can't you see? There's no way things could ever work between us again. You broke my heart," I shook my head.
"Then let me fix it for you," he whispered moved toward me and cupped my cheek and pulled my face towards his for a kiss. The moment his lips met mine it was like we'd never been apart. He cupped both of my cheeks with his hands as he kissed me with desperation. I let out a little moan as I felt my lips start to move with his. I felt him tangle his fingers in my hair and łet out a moan for himself. I felt him pull on my bottom lip with his teeth and it brought me back to reality. I pulled away suddenly.
"No Alex, please don't do this to me," I said as I started to back away but he wrapped his arms around my waist so I stopped backing up.
"Ashley, quit being so god damn stubborn and let me try and change your mind," he sniggered before tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. He looked into my eyes for a moment before leaning back in. I couldn't resist and met his lips in an angry passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt him grasp my waist firmly as if he ever wanted to let me go. He let out a groan as he kissed me with longing.
"I love you, baby," he mumbled against my lips and in response the grip I had on his hair tightened. I knew this was wrong, I knew I shouldn't have let him kiss me but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop myself. Alex was my drug and as much as I hated it; I was hooked.
"We," kiss "shouldn't be" kiss "doing this," I moaned out after each kiss as the rain began to let up.
He pulled his lips away but held me close "Ashley, what can I do to prove I will never hurt you again and that you can trust me?"
"There is nothing, lex. I'm sorry. I can't do this to myself again," I said quietly looking down. He went to kiss me again but I stopped myself this time and pulled out of his arms, backing away with a sigh.
"Ashley baby, I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you, I'd do anything," he said pleadingly
"That kiss was a mistake," I admitted
"That kiss was the greatest moment of my life since you left me," he said, moving forwards, keeping eye contact with me as I kept backing away.
"Alex, I need to sort my life out. I need to find who i am again without you, I need to move on and you do to," I said sadly "I know it will kill me to see you with anybody else but eventually it would be for the best. We just were never meant to be,"
"Don't say that, I know you don't mean it. You're just trying to make it easier for me to walk away and I'm not going to do that, Ash. I want to be with you and I'm not gonna give up on us," he said stepping towards me. I couldn't step back any further as I was on the edge of the flat part of the roof with my heels practically dangling off the edge.
"There is no us, Ale-" I cut myself off when I felt a tile give way beneath my foot and I suddenly dropped down the slanted side. I let out a loud scream of fear as i began to slide down. The last thing I remembered was hitting my head against the corner of a tile before blacking out completely.

Notes

hey guys!
so as you may not know a new writer has joined me her name is Micki! this chapter is entirely her and i'm so glad she has decided to help me write this story:) Please leave a comment/vote or subscribe

~Sam