Holding On To Keep This Strong
Crawling Out
"Jay, can I come in?" Alex asked as he knocked on the bathroom door.
"Yeah." Jack called back from where he sat in the tub.
"Hey, your mom went home to get some of her things. Are you doing okay?"
Alex said, now kneeling next to the tub.
"Yeah, I guess... I just wish I could remember more...it's kind of scary that something like this can happen and I'm missing so much of it from my head."
Alex nodded and reached out to cup Jack's face in his hand. "Yeah, but it would've been worse on you if you remembered it all."
"I know...just...I don't even know if I tried to fight him off, I don't know if I was even able to."
"Well what matters is that you're okay. You're safe and you've got me right here...honestly I don't know what you're feeling right now, I don't even know what to say but I'm hoping I'm doing an okay job of it."
"You're doing fine Alex, I know you're trying. I'm glad you're trying, I just don't know how I feel. I want to cry and scream but I can't. I don't know why but I just can't. I don't even know if I am feeling anything right now, I think that's the worst part."
Alex dropped his hand from the younger's face and leaned over the edge if the tub to kiss him gently. "I'm sorry Jay...I'm sorry he did this to you, I just wish I could've done something to stop it."
"You couldn't have done anything Lex. I wish someone could have done something but no one could." Alex just shook his head before letting it rest on Jack's bare shoulder. The teen brought a hand up running his wet fingers through Alex's hair. "That actually might be the worst part, not even how I feel. But no one could have saved me, no one could stop him...I was completely helpless and so was everyone around me...that's definitely got to be the scariest thing about this."
Alex nodded, lifting his head up finally realizing that he was beginning to tear up. Which he wanted to smack himself for, he needed to keep it together for Jack not cry because he was feeling sorry for himself. He quickly wiped his eyes praying that Jack hadn't noticed.
"Hey, I'm gonna go make some lunch, are you hungry?"
"Not really...I guess I need to eat though."
"Okay, get in bed and I'll be back."
Jack nodded and Alex took that as his cue to stand up. "Wait, Lex...I love you too."
The teacher simply smiled at Jack before leaving the room. Today was turning out to be much more than he thought he could possibly handle, but he'd do his best for Jack.
...
Not much later and the pair were sitting in bed each of the quietly eating, tip toeing around each others emotions. Alex was quite obviously not fully himself but he was still in a better footing than Jack. Because while Alex was hurting himself with the thought of how hurt Jack was. While Jack was over thinking exactly what had happened. Trying to piece together the night before but only finding small shards of what went between the bottle if beer and waking up that morning. Both of them were crumbling at their own accord, Alex barely able to support Jack they way he needed to.
"Are you done eating?" Alex asked, looking at Jack's picked over food.
"Yeah...hey Lex."
"Hm?"
"Do you think everything is gonna turn out okay after this?"
"Yeah, of course. We've got each other, your mom is on our side. We're gonna make it through." He bluffed knowing that the next few weeks could easily determine the fate of his and Jack's relationship. He knew they'd survive the storm, but as far as coming out the same that's what he knew wouldn't happen.
"Thanks Lex..." The teen yawned clearly still in need of rest.
"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll be here if you need me, okay?"
Jack nodded already lying down and beginning to drift off. And Alex desperately wished that he could calm his nerves enough to just lay down next to the younger for a few hours. But he just couldn't bring himself to lay down, he couldn't sit still. Not now anyway. He needed to do something that kept his mind off of someone touching his boyfriend the way Billie Joe did. But no matter what he did those thoughts and images would be stirring in the back of his mind.
"Yeah." Jack called back from where he sat in the tub.
"Hey, your mom went home to get some of her things. Are you doing okay?"
Alex said, now kneeling next to the tub.
"Yeah, I guess... I just wish I could remember more...it's kind of scary that something like this can happen and I'm missing so much of it from my head."
Alex nodded and reached out to cup Jack's face in his hand. "Yeah, but it would've been worse on you if you remembered it all."
"I know...just...I don't even know if I tried to fight him off, I don't know if I was even able to."
"Well what matters is that you're okay. You're safe and you've got me right here...honestly I don't know what you're feeling right now, I don't even know what to say but I'm hoping I'm doing an okay job of it."
"You're doing fine Alex, I know you're trying. I'm glad you're trying, I just don't know how I feel. I want to cry and scream but I can't. I don't know why but I just can't. I don't even know if I am feeling anything right now, I think that's the worst part."
Alex dropped his hand from the younger's face and leaned over the edge if the tub to kiss him gently. "I'm sorry Jay...I'm sorry he did this to you, I just wish I could've done something to stop it."
"You couldn't have done anything Lex. I wish someone could have done something but no one could." Alex just shook his head before letting it rest on Jack's bare shoulder. The teen brought a hand up running his wet fingers through Alex's hair. "That actually might be the worst part, not even how I feel. But no one could have saved me, no one could stop him...I was completely helpless and so was everyone around me...that's definitely got to be the scariest thing about this."
Alex nodded, lifting his head up finally realizing that he was beginning to tear up. Which he wanted to smack himself for, he needed to keep it together for Jack not cry because he was feeling sorry for himself. He quickly wiped his eyes praying that Jack hadn't noticed.
"Hey, I'm gonna go make some lunch, are you hungry?"
"Not really...I guess I need to eat though."
"Okay, get in bed and I'll be back."
Jack nodded and Alex took that as his cue to stand up. "Wait, Lex...I love you too."
The teacher simply smiled at Jack before leaving the room. Today was turning out to be much more than he thought he could possibly handle, but he'd do his best for Jack.
...
Not much later and the pair were sitting in bed each of the quietly eating, tip toeing around each others emotions. Alex was quite obviously not fully himself but he was still in a better footing than Jack. Because while Alex was hurting himself with the thought of how hurt Jack was. While Jack was over thinking exactly what had happened. Trying to piece together the night before but only finding small shards of what went between the bottle if beer and waking up that morning. Both of them were crumbling at their own accord, Alex barely able to support Jack they way he needed to.
"Are you done eating?" Alex asked, looking at Jack's picked over food.
"Yeah...hey Lex."
"Hm?"
"Do you think everything is gonna turn out okay after this?"
"Yeah, of course. We've got each other, your mom is on our side. We're gonna make it through." He bluffed knowing that the next few weeks could easily determine the fate of his and Jack's relationship. He knew they'd survive the storm, but as far as coming out the same that's what he knew wouldn't happen.
"Thanks Lex..." The teen yawned clearly still in need of rest.
"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll be here if you need me, okay?"
Jack nodded already lying down and beginning to drift off. And Alex desperately wished that he could calm his nerves enough to just lay down next to the younger for a few hours. But he just couldn't bring himself to lay down, he couldn't sit still. Not now anyway. He needed to do something that kept his mind off of someone touching his boyfriend the way Billie Joe did. But no matter what he did those thoughts and images would be stirring in the back of his mind.
Okay I normally cringe at student/teacher fics, but cuz it's a 6 year age difference, I gave it a shot. This story is so great! The ending is beautiful. My eyes are watering. Not even kidding.
2/28/16