The Last Three Letters
The Last Letter
Dear Jack,
I am truly and deeply sorry for what I have done. It’s just that I couldn’t live without you. Those last three letters that I sent you were only filled with the truth. I love you, Jack Barakat. I was hoping for you to feel the same way, but I guess that you don’t. Every word that I wrote to you painting a picture of my perfect fairytale. I guess that they don’t exist after all. The world is only filled with sadness and loneliness.
After you didn’t respond to me when I confessed my love for you, I thought that maybe you just didn’t get the letter, so I wrote it in another. When I didn’t hear from that one, I wrote in the last one that you might never see me if you didn’t respond to me, that I may never come back from my surgery. I figured that then you would at least tell me that you hate me, but you ignored me again. I found it so hard to believe, but you had.
Writing this last letter makes me think of the first one that we ever wrote to each other. I remember being stuck with some American pen pal. I thought the idea of it would be stupid. I had friends in high school. I didn’t need to talk to someone that I probably would hate. Not everyone likes the same kind of music as me. I was so surprised when you said you did.
Back to that letter though.
I remember the teacher making a face as she handed me the crumbled up envelope. I thought the worst things. I thought that maybe you were a complete pig, a dick, a slacker, a bunch of things like that. Mostly I thought that I was paired with the worst guy ever. I figured that you’d hate me right off the bat. You’d call me names, and I’d call you names. Instead, I got something a lot better. In fact, it made me laugh. Silly Americans trying to correct my spelling with a red pen. I couldn’t believe that you send back mine like if you were grading it and then a letter with it. At that moment, I knew that you weren’t that bad.
I really wish that those letters could have gone on forever. I wish that my love for you as a friend didn’t turn into something so much bigger. I wish that we were just friends that we trying to save up money to see each other. I really wish that you never sent me a picture of you because... I thought you were the most handsome person that I had ever seen. In fact, it stayed true to the end. I really wish all of this because I would still be alive and happy.
You might be wondering how I did it. It’s not like I took a scalpel and cut my flesh. The doctors were the ones that did that. I figured that I might as well tell you. There was a roommate of mine that was taking some kind of blood thinner. He wasn’t there long, but I was able to snatch some of it when no one was looking. I just took it now since I’m going to be going into surgery soon. I know that the surgery won’t kill me all by itself. I have to help it out somehow.
The memories of the words and your smile is getting to me. I’m going to hold it close to me up until the moment when they put me under. Your beautiful smile is going to be the thing that shines through the darkness. I’m going to keep all of the positive things alive in my head. I’m going to remember you when everything was fine. I’m going to remember you when everything was fine. I think the nurses are going to be coming soon, so I’m going to finish this up. Before I put those positive thoughts into mind, I just have one question for you.
Did you know that silence could cut so deep?
Hell, I didn’t even think that you would twist the blade. I’m going to assume that you won’t care even if this letter does get to you and you read it.
I never knew that I’d never get to see you in person. I never knew that I was going to end up falling for you. I never knew that you would ruin my fairytale with your silence. I never knew that it would all end like this.
I love you and goodbye.
Alex
~
Jack finishes the letter one last time. If only Alex knew that Jack never got the last two letters at all. He wasn’t his mail because he knew that he would spill the surprise. Jack had finally gotten enough money to visit Alex. He would arrive around the time that Alex would be in surgery. He was planning on being there for him and helping him though getting better. That, and he was planning on telling Alex that he has the same feelings. Jack loves Alex. Even though he’s dead, he still loves him.
That’s why Jack has the letter in his left hand and the black gun in his right. He really is just like Alex. He can’t live without him. He can’t live without seeing joy in those caramel eyes. He can’t live without those pearly whites. He can’t live without ever getting the chance to hold Alex and love him. He can’t live without any of it.
The last words that Jack says are, “Alex, you’re so stupid.”
Bang...
I am truly and deeply sorry for what I have done. It’s just that I couldn’t live without you. Those last three letters that I sent you were only filled with the truth. I love you, Jack Barakat. I was hoping for you to feel the same way, but I guess that you don’t. Every word that I wrote to you painting a picture of my perfect fairytale. I guess that they don’t exist after all. The world is only filled with sadness and loneliness.
After you didn’t respond to me when I confessed my love for you, I thought that maybe you just didn’t get the letter, so I wrote it in another. When I didn’t hear from that one, I wrote in the last one that you might never see me if you didn’t respond to me, that I may never come back from my surgery. I figured that then you would at least tell me that you hate me, but you ignored me again. I found it so hard to believe, but you had.
Writing this last letter makes me think of the first one that we ever wrote to each other. I remember being stuck with some American pen pal. I thought the idea of it would be stupid. I had friends in high school. I didn’t need to talk to someone that I probably would hate. Not everyone likes the same kind of music as me. I was so surprised when you said you did.
Back to that letter though.
I remember the teacher making a face as she handed me the crumbled up envelope. I thought the worst things. I thought that maybe you were a complete pig, a dick, a slacker, a bunch of things like that. Mostly I thought that I was paired with the worst guy ever. I figured that you’d hate me right off the bat. You’d call me names, and I’d call you names. Instead, I got something a lot better. In fact, it made me laugh. Silly Americans trying to correct my spelling with a red pen. I couldn’t believe that you send back mine like if you were grading it and then a letter with it. At that moment, I knew that you weren’t that bad.
I really wish that those letters could have gone on forever. I wish that my love for you as a friend didn’t turn into something so much bigger. I wish that we were just friends that we trying to save up money to see each other. I really wish that you never sent me a picture of you because... I thought you were the most handsome person that I had ever seen. In fact, it stayed true to the end. I really wish all of this because I would still be alive and happy.
You might be wondering how I did it. It’s not like I took a scalpel and cut my flesh. The doctors were the ones that did that. I figured that I might as well tell you. There was a roommate of mine that was taking some kind of blood thinner. He wasn’t there long, but I was able to snatch some of it when no one was looking. I just took it now since I’m going to be going into surgery soon. I know that the surgery won’t kill me all by itself. I have to help it out somehow.
The memories of the words and your smile is getting to me. I’m going to hold it close to me up until the moment when they put me under. Your beautiful smile is going to be the thing that shines through the darkness. I’m going to keep all of the positive things alive in my head. I’m going to remember you when everything was fine. I’m going to remember you when everything was fine. I think the nurses are going to be coming soon, so I’m going to finish this up. Before I put those positive thoughts into mind, I just have one question for you.
Did you know that silence could cut so deep?
Hell, I didn’t even think that you would twist the blade. I’m going to assume that you won’t care even if this letter does get to you and you read it.
I never knew that I’d never get to see you in person. I never knew that I was going to end up falling for you. I never knew that you would ruin my fairytale with your silence. I never knew that it would all end like this.
I love you and goodbye.
Alex
~
Jack finishes the letter one last time. If only Alex knew that Jack never got the last two letters at all. He wasn’t his mail because he knew that he would spill the surprise. Jack had finally gotten enough money to visit Alex. He would arrive around the time that Alex would be in surgery. He was planning on being there for him and helping him though getting better. That, and he was planning on telling Alex that he has the same feelings. Jack loves Alex. Even though he’s dead, he still loves him.
That’s why Jack has the letter in his left hand and the black gun in his right. He really is just like Alex. He can’t live without him. He can’t live without seeing joy in those caramel eyes. He can’t live without those pearly whites. He can’t live without ever getting the chance to hold Alex and love him. He can’t live without any of it.
The last words that Jack says are, “Alex, you’re so stupid.”
Bang...
Notes
I've had this planned for so long. I finally finished it though. I hope that everyone likes it. I like how it is a lot better than what I was planning on.
Thanks for reading!
@QueenDes
Fair enough, I'll definitely have a read :')
2/4/14