Alex hung up the phone and sighed thankful that Tay was still here but the reason she was in hospital was bringing back memories that Alex had pushed away to the very back of his mind. Sitting on the bed he shared with Jack he tugged his shirt sleeve up and looked down, all long his arm pale white scars some from a few years ago and the one he never wanted to see again; the one Jack had caught him doing. It was healed and a pinky/white colour. Alex knew that if anyone was to ask him about them he could tell the story behind every single scar that sat on his skin, he wasn't proud of what he had done but they were a part of him and as long as Jack excepted that he didn't care. Tay entered his thoughts again and Akex shifted on yhe edge of the bed wondeing how he had never seen any signs but then again he knew from experiance that a smile can hide too much of the truth. He hoped that Zack was doing okay, ever since Rian he had became more emotional and things effected him more than ever before, Alex sent Martin a text telling him to go to the hospital and comfort Zack even though he was just through the door. Five minutes later Jack appeared at the door smiling but Alex could see the concern in his eyes, he sent his boyfriend a small smile but Alex knew it didn't look convincing.
"You okay?" Jack asked leaning down in front of him so that they were the same height and Alex sighed nodding.
"Just with Tay it brought things back that I didn't want, from before we moved. I just wanted that part of my life to go away but I know that it never will. I know if I stop taking my tablets I could be the one in the hospital bed again, I can't let that happen Jack. I can't have anymore scars" He rushed out his eyes stinging as tears attempted to escape and Jack gave him a slight sigh before pulling him into a hug.
"Alex you will never go back to that, I've never seen you as happy as you have been here. Taking tablets is nothing to be ashamed of Alex I know you don't like it but its better for you and I know you would talk to me before you ever thought if harming yourself again. Alex your past is what shaped you and I know it was hard for both of us but look at where we are now! Alex I love you and that's all that matters to me" Jack whispered while running a hand over Alex's back to calm him down, Alex blinked to stop the tears and pulled back to look at Jack and pressed a soft kiss to his lips as a thanks.
"So Tay's going to be okay?" Jack asked quietly and Alex nodded a small smile on his lips and Jack nodded before kissing Alex's cheek.
"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we didn't move? " Jack asked after a few minutes of silence and Alex looked at him smiling.
"I think we would still be living with Kathy and the whole school would know about us no doubt, all my old team mates would probably give us so much shit. My dad would still be a dick and so would your family, Zack and Rian would probably still be together as Rian wouldn't be homesick. But if we didn't move here we wouldn't be stronger, Zack wouldn't be a different person and Tay might not have even been here anymore. I do miss Baltimore but I like it here better" Alex said smiling as Jack nodded in agreement his massive eyes shining slightly.
"I love you Jack" Alex said as Jack laughed in response
"I love you too you idiot" Then it was Alex's turn to laugh as Jack attached their lips which cut off his laughs, he felt Jack push him back so he was lying down on the bed. Alex ran his tongue along Jack's lip and he felt Jack part his mouth as they deepend their kiss and they stayed like that for a good few hours even if Alex and Jack's phones kept ringing.
"Yep I love you" Alex said as he cuddled up next to Jack still slightly breathless and Jack smiled before wrapping an arm around Alex's waist and pulled them closer together. Then whilr Alex was drifting off to sleep he felt Jack pulled his left arm up slightly and he kissed his wrist softly before whispering
"perfect"
Alex burried his face in the pillow to hide to tears that slipped from the corners of his eyes and Jack's words, once he knew Jack was as sleep he stood up and put his jeans back on quickly and checked his phone. Three new messages and two missed calls.
To Alex: Tay being collected by her mom and sister tonight , Zack upset so staying in his old flat for the night. From Martin
To Alex: How are you boys doing? Not heard from you in a while, tried to phone but I guess you're busy. I just wanted to let you know I'm getting married and the invitation will be sent soon. Love Kathy
To Alex: Need to catch up sometime dude! From Flyzik
Alex shoved his phone away too tired to text anyone back, instead he picked up his guitar and went and sat on the small blacony looking out at the water and pictured how happy his brother could've been here. He strummed a few notes idly and then a song started to come to him,
My ship went down in a sea of sound, when I woke up alone I had everything. A handful of moments I wished I could change and a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.
In a city of fools,I was careful and cool, but they tore me apart like a hurricane, a handful of moments I wished I could change but I was carried away.
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling at everything, Therapy you were never a friend to me and you can keep all your misery.
My lungs gave out as I faced the crowd I think that keeping this up could be dangerous. I'm flesh and bone, I'm a rolling stone and the experts say I'm delirious.
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling at everything. Therapy you were never a friend to me and you can take back your misery.
Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they're better off without you.(They're better off without you.)
Arrogant boy, cause a scene like you're supposed to they'll fall asleep without you, you're lucky if your memory remains.
Give me therapy I'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling at everything.Therapy you were never a friend to me and you can take back your misery.
Therapy, I'm a walking travesty but I'm smiling at everything.Therapy you were never a friend to me and you can choke on your misery.
As he sang the last not Alex was aware of the tears in his eyes and this time he welcomed them because he knew in a way he jad wrote a kickass song and also a song for his project. He couldn't wait to let Jack hear it!

Notes

More chapters to come!