Deer In The Headlights

Jack's p.o.v.

It's been a couple of weeks in hospital; more weeks because I was on Suicide watch. But now, I'm finally out of hospital. It feels fucking great to actually be outside of there. I was now at school, getting a shit load of questions thrown at me. Where was you? or Are you feeling better now? and a whole lot more. But Rian, Rian was asking a shit whole lot of more questions.

"Dude, this isn't the first time you've been off for a couple of weeks. What's up?" He asked, concern added to his voice as the words ripped out. I was just about done with all the questions. Why is there a bandage on your arm? What's it to them? They never cared before. They only care if you're pretty or got some kind of medical bandage somewhere on your body. Then they fuck off when they've got the answer, never bother or care again. I hated everyone here but Rian. Even though Rian doesn't just let things go and it annoys me, he is still my best friend after all. They were like this the first time I was off for a couple of weeks. I just can't wait to see Alex after school, this shit is pissing me off. Also to top my shitty day so far, I've had a test first thing in the morning that I didn't get told about. I just want to cry.

"Rian, it doesn't matter." I sighed, sitting back in my chair with a huff. Rian just frowned at me. He leant in closer to me.

"Is it because your...you know... 'problem'? I don't like referring it as that, but it's the only word I can think of." He asked quietly. I looked down at my arm, nodding slowly.

"Do you wanna tell me after school?" He asked, sounding like he really wanted more information.

" Can't, I have therapy til six tonight." I sadly smiled. Rian just nodded, suggesting tomorrow. I nodded. Best to tell him. He doesn't know about my mum being a total asswipe, so I guess I better tell him what she was like. As soon as I got back from hospital, my mum dragged me to sit down and talk about Alex. She was actually saying he was kind, charming man that she was too blind to see what he truly was. She told me to be carefully though. I totally understand, I just wish it didn't have to be a secret.

In other news, it's my birthday in two months. I'm not really bothered. I just want to get pissed since I'm going to be an adult. Eighteen. I'm turning eighteen and I still act five. Fuck yeah.

The bell went off, telling us it was the end of the school day. I sighed in relief, packing all my stuff up. I got up, swinging my bag over my shoulders.

"I'll walk you to your mum's car?" Rian asked, pushing his chair under the desk. I nodded, opening the door, only to be stopped by the teacher.

"Jack, come here." She said, signalling me to go over to her with her index finger. I kept in a roll of the eyes and walked over to her.

"Alright, so, you're gonna need to catch up on a lot of stuff, Jack. You've got an exam in a month. You've got to catch up before that month. All I'm asking for is that you don't slouch around. You really need to pay attention. Ask me for help when you don't get it, okay?" She asked, looking up to me. My whole body felt like it curved into itself. An exam. A month. I need to catch up. How the fuck I going to go that? Rian?

"I will try my best, miss. I'll ask Rian to help me catch up, he seems to know." I gave her a reassuring smile. She nodded, saying a quiet okay. I walked away from her walking past Rian and walking out of the class. I walked quickly down the corridor, feeling like I was rather going to throw up, or a sob wanted to escape. I felt like crying, but I'm not going to.

"Jack!" I heard Rian walking up behind me.

"I need to get to the car." I rushed out the words, walking a little faster than before. That was until something grabbed my wrist and pulled me to them. It was Rian.

"What the hell is wrong?" Rian snapped. I pulled my wrist from Rian.

"Nothing's wrong." I mumbled, facing the door. My wrist was grabbed again, making my head snap back at Rian.

"There's clearly something wrong, Jack!" Rian yelled. A couple of people stopped to look at us, others kept on walking. This reminded me of that nightmare I had with Alex where we were at the market. We were arguing and some people stopped, others went.

"I'm okay!" I yanked my wrist back again, holding it with my bandage hand.

"Oh, so you're lying to me now?" Rian shook his head in disgust. I stood there, on the edge to fall into tears. We stood in silent, my breathing slightly deep. The people that were stood stood around us disappeared. I looked down at the ground, playing with the end of my shirt.

"I-I've got to go." I mumbled, not daring to look up at Rian.

"Whatever." Rian sighed. I looked up to him, seeing his hurt face. I bit my lip. I'm such a bad friend.

"Sorry." I said.

"Sure." Rian just says, not looking like he wanted to talk to me. I nodded, awkwardly walking away. I really want to cry. I'm not letting that happen.

~~~

"Hey, Jack." Alex perked up, smiling like he normally did. The smile I love. He walked over to where I was stood in the middle of the room. When he got closer to me, I just cried, tears streaming down my face. I pulled him in for a hug, wrapping myself tightly around him.

"Woah Jack, what's wrong?" Alex asked, his hug a looser than mine. I didn't answer. I just kept my head over his shoulder, my eyes open and staring at the floor. I could just see myself in the exam hall, failing at every test. I don't want that. I'm not really good at test, but I'm not the worst. The highest I've got is a B. I'm still shit. I decided to answer Alex with a short reply.

"Everything." I sniffed, awkwardly lifting my hand up to wipe my nose.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked, pulling away from the hug. I actually wanted to talk about it to Alex. He's just so easy to share my problems with. I nodded. He sadly smiled, walking over to the tissue box. He came back, handing me a two tissue paper.

"T-Thank you." I hipcup, laughing quietly at the hipcup. Alex smiled, grabbing my hand and leading me to where he normally sits. He sat down and I was about to move to my seat until Alex spoke up.

"Come sit on Santa's knees." He patted his knees. I laughed at him.

"Ew." I chuckled, sitting down on his knees anyway. He instantly wrapped his hands around my waist, making me get butterflies.

"Talk, I'm here." He hooked his head over shoulder. I chuckled again.

"You sound creepy. Isn't it a little too early for Santa to be out? Hang on, y-you're not Santa!" I gasped, laughing as I jumped off him. Alex kinda went to grab me, pulled me back, but I was pushing forward. Alex accediantly let go, sending me onto the floor, my cheek hitting the tile.

"Shit, Jack." Alex laughed. I faked crying noises, it actually working as tears fell down my cheeks.

"Oh no's, I'll save you Princess Barakat!" Alex gasped, pushing himself forward, his chair following him as he landed on me. The chair was both at mine and his legs. We both ended up laughing our heads off. My body actually hurting from laughing at such an awkward position.

"You did a great job at saving me, Super-Lex!" I giggled, awkwardly turning my body around so I was on my back. It was difficult with Alex on me. I looked up at Alex's eyes, becoming quickly pushing him off me. He gasped in shock.

"Quick, before the bad dude comes out of no where!" I yelled in 'panic'. Alex gasped too, quickly getting up, pushing the chair off him.

"We're gonna die." I cried. I was pulled by my top to Alex.

"Shut up." He laughed, tilting his head and moving forward quickly. I tilted my head the other way, catching his lips with mine. Yet again, the familiar feeling in my gut arrived as soon as we began kissing. My body felt like it was beginning to set on fire. I just love the way Alex tasted. The way our lips more together. The way they move with love and passion. My hands reached for the back of Alex's head, my fingers in his hair. Alex's hands left my shirt and went to my waist. We both smiled into the kiss, keeping it innocent.

After innocently making out, we sat down at the table, this time I was in my seat and not on Alex's laps. Not like I'm complaining that I was on Alex's laps.

"So, are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Alex asked after the couple of minutes of silent. I sniffed, noticing the tears had dried up on my cheeks. I played with my cast under the table to help me calm down a little.

"Well, uh, as soon as I got back to school, people who don't acknowledge me, decided to acknowledge me and ask a shit tone of stupid questions that pissed me off. They don't care, I don't understand why they're asking. Also, I had a test first thing in the morning that I didn't get warned about. I'm behind on lessons, so I've been asked to catch up, but I don't know how." I took a breath, ready to resume, but Alex beat me to it.

" How about I tutor you? What subject is it?" Wait, Alex can tutor me? I'm not saying he's a dumbass, but is he even capable of that?

"It's Physics. You can tutor me?" I asked, not really believing in what Alex said. I was going to ask Rian to help me because I needed help with the work, but not tutoring.

"Physics's easy for me. What part are you studying?" Alex asked, ignoring my question. I thought back to the lesson. It was space.

"About space." I said in a bored tone. Alex's smile just got bigger as I mentioned space.

"I might as well hire Tom DeLonge." I laughed quietly.

"Space is probably the best topic to be on." Alex looked really interested in the subject.

"So,you're going to tutor me?" I ask. He nods instantly.

"But I can't tutor you here, obviously. It'll have to be held at one of our houses." He gestured between me and him. I nod, already knowing where I want the tutoring to be held.

"Your house, defiantly." I grinned, taking my fingers of my cast as I felt relaxed and excited.

"That's no problem. What day or days after school? Or weekend?" Alex asked. I hummed. Well I can't tonight because Rian.

"Monday and Wednesday, but not tonight?" I asked, hoping Alex wasn't busy on those days. He nodded, saying it was no problem.

"I have to explain and apologise to Rian tonight, so that's why not tonight." I sighed, dreading the apologies I'll have to make to Rian. I barely ever upset Rian, but he got me at a bad mood and time.

"Why?" Alex looked and confusedly. I sighed again, sitting up in my chair for no reason other than to kill the pain my back had

"I sort of lied to him. He kept asking if I was okay, and I said yes when I was far from okay. We sort of argued and I upset him. He just kind of caught me in a bad mood. I'm not even sure if he's up to my apologies tonight. I don't know, I hate lying and making him upset." I said quietly, feeling really terrible about what I did. I had my rights to be angry, but not angry at Rian as he was just trying to know what the problem was so he could help me.

"He'll be fine. He's your best friend." Alex assured me. I nod, hoping Rian won't be a drama Queen.

"So, how was it at the hospital?" Alex suddenly asked. I don't know why he was asking when he was almost always there with me the whole time. I guess he wanted to know what happened on the days when he wasn't visiting.

"When you wasn't there, it was a boring Hell hole. I didn't know what to do. I think being in there made me more crazy." I laughed softly, resting my back against the chair and sunk down in it, feeling lazy. Alex cocked his eyebrow at me.

"Sounds shit." Alex chuckled, looking down at his watch.

"Okay, so, let me get my clipboard." Alex said, getting up from his chair. I found it kinda cute that he informed me on what he was getting, even though I could've seen from where I was sitting. He walked over to counter, grabbing his clipboard. I could've swore he was swaying his hips on purpose. He made his way back to his seat, settling the clipboard on the table.

"More questions?" He grinned at me.

"Sure, babe." I winked playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling nevertheless and began asking questions.

Notes

HHellooo, sorry for not updating in two days, but my dogs decided to bit through the wifi cable thingy, so I'm on my mum's phone internet. Yaaay .-. Here's a long-ish chapter. My phone's gonna die ;-; Bye! i hope you liked it? Idk.