Deer In The Headlights

The dreadful day is here. The day where both strongly bonded doctor and patient,will have to say their farewell. They will have to slowly disconnect from each other. Although the past four weeks have been amazing for them. They would chat about random stuff. They would learn about each other. Alex has still been giving Jack hot chocolates when he was sad. Jack still loved to wake up to see Alex instantly walking into his boring hospital room. They understood each other. Alex knew about Jack's self harming, which he gladly didn't question about. Jack knew about how Alex's family used to treat him. Jack thought his family was bad, but now he knew how lucky he was. Now and then, Alex would cuddle Jack, sad or not. Sometimes Alex will stay in work longer just because Jack said he couldn't sleep. They both didn't know what it was going to be like to leave each other. They were kind of like a pair. Though, they both knew secretly they wanted more, but they would be afraid the other didn't. Jack's now up and walking, but with crutches. This is their last day together. To be honest, they both didn't want to leave each other. Jack's nightmares were still there and doctors and nurses said they can't do anything about it. They did try medication, but that didn't really help. Jack would constantly wait every morning to see Alex walk in. Sometimes Alex would bring his guitar to sing beautiful, slow lullabies. Actually, Jack's favorite song was actually a song Alex wrote called Lullabies. Though, Alex never told Jack about the whole meaning behind the song. Jack would just sleep peacefully to it. But now the day has come. They can't do anymore of this.

Jack's p.o.v.

"Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack..." I heard my name being called constantly. I groaned at the sudden wake up call. I was litturally too tired to even open my eyes, but I sat up.

"Mmhm?" I hummed, eyes still shut. Why did someone have to wake me up this time in the...what even is now?

"Jack, wake up. I don't want today to end." This time I realised it was a sad Alex waking me up. I slowly opened my eyes, but suddenly felt dizzy. I shook away the mass of headache and searched around the room. Still the plain white wall were there. The table over by the window. The window that hasn't been open. Though, there was no light coming through the creak of the blinds. Must be late. I finally looked over to Alex. He looked really really sad.

"A-Alex? What time is it?" I asked, sleep still wanting me. I looked at his pink bit of his hair. I really liked how he styled it.

"Er-uh... Half~past five. In the um...morning." Half-past five in the morning?! Wow, now I'm going back to sleep before it's too late. Then I remembered Alex must of woke me up for a reason.

"Why did you wake me up at Half-past five? Mornings are no good for me." I sighed. If possible, Alex looked sadder even more. What's wrong? It must be my morning voice, I might of said it a bit snappy. I moved my arm- as it was recovered, but still there was a cast around it, and scratched the back of my neck, feeling weak.

"Jack, it's uh- it's our... It's your last day here." He sadly said. Wait...what? It can't be. I don't want to leave this horrible smelling hospital. I don't want to leave the boring evenings. I don't want to leave the plain white walls. I don't want to leave Alex. I suddenly felt a tear in the back of my eye.

"I-I don't want to leave." My voice cracked a little, as a tear made it's way down my cheek. Wow, this was kind of stupid. I thought I would be happy to get out of here? 'Yeah, that was until you met your doctor' my voice said. That's true. Alex has been here every time when I've been at the worse. Alex has made me hot chocolates. Alex has been here for me. Somewhat my patents didn't. I sank lower into my uncomfortable bed.

"I don't want you to leave either. Do you wanna go for a walk, make the day last?" He asked, biting his lip. I nodded and slowly sat up more. Alex pulled the metal bar down from my bed; which protected me from falling off it. I smiled sadly, and carefully spun my legs over the bed. I sat there waiting while my legs were hanging off the bed. I smiled as Alex handed me the crutches. With some difficulty, I managed to get myself up and onto the floor. My left leg was firmly on the floor, while my right was holding up a little. I got my hands comfortable in the crutches and nodded to Alex. He smiled weakly, and walked to the door. I followed him slowly. I was still new to these crutches. I'm sure I'll get used to it. Alex opened the door for me, and I quickly got through it, not wanting Alex to wait un-patiently for me. I walked onto the long hospital corridor. I could hear very quiet talking coming from somewhere. I looked around to see the waiting room. I smiled weakly, and took in the whole new smell and atmosphere. Doors, doors, doors, was all I could see down the corridor. I looked over to Alex, who was just walking out my door. After he did, he made his way to me.

"I think we need to get you a hot chocolate." He assured. Why? I only have hot chocolates when I'm cryi- oh. I felt the tear run down my cheek. Dammit, I hate crying. Me and Alex started walking down the hospital.

"You know, a really famous person was in the room you was." He randomly spoke.

"Really? That's cool. Maybe one day I will be famous." I laughed, knowing that will never happen.

"Yeah, he was famous guitarist in a band.They are signed to Hopeless Records." He smiled, showing his dimples.

"That's pretty cool." I said, amused. He nodded, and we turned a corner.

"I never asked you this...Do you play any instruments?" He asked, sounding a little sad. He opened a door that said 'staff only' and signalled me to follow.

"Yeah, guitar. Been playing it since I was twelve." I smiled as I remembered my first guitar. It was one of those cheap ones, but it was good. Actually, I still have it. Though, I got a better guitar when I was thirteen, and that's my best one. The one I still use now.

"That's awesome! Will you...could you possibly play me something today? I have my guitar. It's in the car." He asked, as we walked to a quite big machine. I nodded, even though he couldn't see.

"Yeah." I said shortly. I don't know how I'm going to play it with a broken arm, but I could try.

I watched carefully at the way Alex made my hot chocolate. I will forever remember how he makes it. He looked like this hot chocolate was meant for the King or Queen. That made my heart flutter. He actually does care.

The tears started to fade away now. I sat on the staff room seat with Alex next to me. I slowly placed my un-casted arm; left arm, to my face. I could smell the best smell in the world. I love hot chocolate. I gently poured the hot chocolate down my throat, loving each bit of it. It was still slightly hot, but I didn't care. While I was drinking my hot chocolate, Alex said he's going to get something. I nodded and he walked out the room. I looked around the room. There was a whiteboard, computer, a big pin-board with all kind of leaflets pinned to it. There was the machine Alex made my hot chocolate with. There were a table in front of me. The soft, comfortable chairs were red. The other side of me held loads of magazines. I smiled and rested a bit more.

By the time Alex came back, I had finished my lovely hot chocolate. I felt joy inside me as I saw Alex was holding his amazing-looking guitar. Is he going to.play something? Hopefully.

"Back." He blushed a little as he walked over to me. Why did he blush? For what ever reason, he looked cute. Yeah, so maybe this whole 'little' crush on my doctor has kind of...gotten bigger. I'm just really going to miss him.

"Welcome back." I.chuckled, placing the now empty cup on the table.

"You drank that fast," He chuckled. "Do you wanna go out onto the garden at the back of the hospital?" He asked, picking my cup up. Are we even aloud outside? I mean...me? I don't know. I don't care.

"Sounds like fun." I smiled and got up steadily. When I finally found the strength , I got up. I held onto my crutches for dear life. I thought I was going to fall any second. I heard a little noise that sounded like a 'awh' from behind me. I snapped my head up and looked at Alex. He was looking at me. I blushed and turned away from him, and stood up straighter. I walked over to the door and turned around again to Alex. He was still looking at me.

"What?" I giggled. Wait. Did I just... I giggled? Oh my god! Dammit, Alex. His face turned into a big grin. I laughed and shook my head.

"Come on, I don't know how to get there." I laughed as I waited for Alex. He walked over to me and opened the door. I quickly scooped out onto the corridor, to be met with some coldness and a weird smell. The smell of medication and just plainly, the hospital.

After we walked for what seemed forever. Alex stopped upon a double door. There was no rooms around, so I guess this was the back of the hospital. He opened one of the doors and the wind hit his face, sending his hair to fly up in different directions. I chuckled at the sight and walked out to the open. I immediately was hit with smell of...fresh air. It felt so good to be outside for what seemed forever. The fresh, bitter-ish air ran up my nose as I breathed deeply in. The garden grass looked like the one from the adverts. They were a clear, bright, green grass everywhere. Some little roses were growing near the darker green bushes(that stopped people from looking in) The bushes were tall. They were about half the size of the building. A little black, metal gate was in front of what I amuse is the parking lot. There was little chips of tweeting surrounding us. A bench stood where the morning sunrise glowed. It looked fantastic and so...alive! A massive smile appeared on my face as I looked in awe. This might of been just a hospital garden, but it was beautiful. I looked back to Alex, who was smiling at me.

"This...it looks amazing! I never expected a hospital garden to look like this!" I said in glee. It was truly amazing.

" Yeah, I guess- I guess it is." He sounded amused. I steadily hopped over to the bench and sat down. The bench looked quite old, but that means it held so much memories. Alex grinned and sat down next to me. He placed the guitar on the ground, the neck inbewtten his legs. I didn't even realise the wind that pushed past, because I was lost in the moment. Alex beside me. Us in a garden. Oh god, Jack, stop.

"So, Jack...wanna play something now?" Alex asked, motioning to his guitar. Now I was really excited and happy (for once.) I nodded enthusiastically, and he picked up his guitar. I placed the crutches aside and Alex placed the guitar on my lap. I slowly and carefully placed the guitar in the right position.

"Okay, seen as I have a broken arm, I don't know how this will work. I'm going to do my best, but it might suck." I pointed out. I noticed the guitar was already tuned for the right song. I lightly started plucking the strings. When I was happy, I played the first chord of Blink-182's Wishing Well. I heard Alex gasp and it made me giggle...again. As the first line of the lyrics, I heard Alex start to sing.

' Been gone a long time
I kinda lost my way, I can't find it
And I caught a short ride
To the grave and back this season
I can try to get by
But every time I start to panic
I'm a little bit shy
A bit strange and a little bit manic
La da da da, da da da da
La da da da, da da da da da... '

Oh my... He sounds so good. I couldn't explain what his voice makes me feel. It makes my empty heart fill up. It fills my ears with his angelic voice. I hope this lasts for ever.

' I went to a wishing well, but sank to the ocean floor
Cut up by sharpened rocks and washed up along the shore
I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand
Made it's way through my heart, had fun in the promise land.'

Alex finished singing and I followed shortly with the guitar. I placed the guitar down beside me, and looked at Alex straight in the eyes. There was so much excitement bubbling up inside me.

"Alex, you're voice, it's amazing." I said breathless. He smiled at looked at me.

"You play the guitar amazingly." He looked straight back through my eyes. I leaned in a little, but I didn't even realise Alex was doing the same until he whispered, "You're amazing." He then kissed me first, sending sparkles up and down my body. I kissed lightly back, enjoying his sweet taste. He tasted of...well, him. So original and amazing. My hands roamed their way up his jaw, to the back of his head. I digged my fingers through his hair. I have been craving for what his hair felt like. It was soft and comfortable. He slowly pulled back, and so did I. As soon as his lips left mine, I missed them instantly.

"Sorry, Jack." Alex quietly said, ducking his head. What? Why was he apologizing? That was amazing. He's amazing!

"What? What for?" I asked, not understanding why he's sorry.

"I'm sorry...for kissing you." He blushed a little. I laughed a bit. He shot his head up in confusion.

"Don't be sorry," I hesitated, then pecked his lips with mine. "I liked it." I smiled, sitting up completely. It was true, I did like Alex's lips in mine. He made me feel wanted.

"Really? Uh..umm...Thank you?" He chuckled. Dammit, that was so fucking cute. I bit my lip from saying it out loud. I starred at him as he starred at me, lost.

"Alex, will I ever get to see you again?" I asked, feeling the depression pulling me down all of a sudden. He bit his lip.

"I'm pretty sure. You live in Baltimore, right?" He asked. I bit my lip and nodded.

"You'll see me around then. Maybe quite often as I don't think I'll be keeping this job." He assured, looking down, fiddling with his fingers.

"What? Why?!" I asked, confused. He shrugged.

"I just...I don't really enjoy it. If I'm honest I was going to quit the day you arrived. Lets just say, you kept me here." He sounded a bit sad. I couldn't blame him though. I wouldn't want to work in a hospital, seeing people die or just survived. I wouldn't be able to handle it.

"Oh... Have you got any plans for other jobs?" I asked.

"I don't know. I think I'd like to become a therapist." He shrugged. I think he would be good as a therapist. Well, he's helped me a lot. I'm thankful for him. I nodded and starred at the green grass. The sun had risen now, making my body warm up slightly.

"What should we do now?" Alex broke the little warm silence. I let the wind blow my hair a little as I looked at him.

"More guitar?" I asked, smiling. He nodded enthusiastically, and pointed to the guitar, telling me to pick it up. I really really like this man.

After an hour playing guitar -I know, that's long, it was about seven o'clock now. I had no idea when I was meant to be let out. I wad going to ask Alex, but I didn't want to sound like I was waiting for that time to hurry up. I sighed and placed the guitar down.

"What's the matter?" Alex asked, obviously hearing me sigh. I sat back up and fiddled with my fingers.

"I guess... I guess I don't want today to end." I sighed,becoming sad. Alex has been like a big brother to me. Well, to me, he's been like a lover. But that's just me.

"Neither do I." He sadly smiled.

"What time am I meant to be leaving?" I felt a rush of sadness hit me harder. Though, I know it's weird to feel this way. Especially as Alex is my doctor.

"They told me at one o'clock. Which is in six hours." Six hours isn't long enough. To be honest, I just want to sit on this bench and cuddle. That obviously couldn't happen.

I jumped all of a sudden. All of a sudden I was frightened. What the Hell? That's when I heard a coach make a 'woosh' noise behind me. The hospital coach. It's going to get me, I know it is. I jumped again, and got my crutches.

"Jack. Jack, what's wrong?" I heard Alex aside me. I shook my head and steadily, but quickly got up. I used my crutches as a balanced and walked quickly away. I could hear Alex following me behind. I just needed to get away from the big monster. As soon as I reached the double doors, I was crying. That thing was most likey set out to hit me. It most likey wanted to drive through the tall bushes and hit me. Possibly kill me. By now, my body was shaking. It was getting harder to remained balanced on the crutches. I walked over to the wall, around the corner and leaned against it.

"Jack, what's the matter? Did I do something wrong?" I could hear Alex around the corner. I ducked my head and began to cry more, body still shaking. The next minute I hear my name being called softly in front of me, then I was welcomed with a warm hug.

Notes

D: Sorry for not uploading for 9 whole days. Not been in the mood to write fanfiction...which is weird for me. Anyway, thank you guys for reading:D