I'm intoxicated by the lie.

~Alex's POV~
I was scrolling through instagram when I felt someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see it was a lanky kid with a nose a bit to big for his face, but it was cute like a puppy with ears to big for its head. I paused my music before taking my headphones out, I smiled at him slightly before sticking my hand out. "Hi I'm Alex, Alex Gaskarth." I said smiling. "I'm Jack, Jack Barakat." He said shaking my hand.
' I might actually not blow this.' I thought to myself. Jack sat in the other chair beside me before taking his phone out. "So Jack, what kind of music do you like?" I said looking at him. He sat his phone down before looking at me. "I like Christian music mostly, but I'd like to listen to other types of music you know?" He said quietly. I nodded before picking up my head phones and handing one to him. "Well Jack, I'm about let you listen to some of the greatest music ever." I mumbled, looking for the best song to let him listen to first. I settled on My Chemical Romance's Black Parade.
I pressed play and noticed Jack start bobbing his head slightly. I chuckled before pausing it, he looked confused as to why I did so, but didn't question it. I took the headphones from him just as other people started spilling into the room.
I looked at Jack and quickly took his phone when he wasn't looking. Soon I had out my number in and texted myself so I could have his number, I was putting his phone back when he saw me. "Alex, what did you do to my phone?" He said looking at it closely. "I didn't do anything, but give you the pleasure of having my phone number princess." I said slyly. "Alright everyone, settle down. Also, we have a new member joining our church today, his name is Alex Gaskarth. Alex, would you mind standing up please?" The person whom I assumed was the sunday school teacher was. I stood up and was greeted with applause. I waved awkwardly and decided to talk about myself a bit. "Hi, my name is Alex and I moved here from England a bout a week ago. I like to draw, paint, listen to music, and hang out with friends. I'm pretty easy to get along with I guess." I finished my little speech and quickly sat down. Jack patted me on the back and gave me a reassuring smile.
~Skipping the rest because its boring~
Soon we finished church and were walking out when Jack and his family walked up to mine. "Hi, we're the Barakat's and we'd like to welcome you all to have dinner with us tonight." Jack's mom said a bit excitedly. I tuned out until someone said my name "You must be Alex! It's so nice to see Jack has made a friend!" His dad said extending a hand out to me.
I took it and shook it lightly before letting go. I looked at Jack who was blushing lightly at the fact that his parents basically just said he has no friends. I smiled slightly at him before turning back to his dad.
"Sir, I'm honored to have Jack as my first official friend here." I said smiling. After that we set a time to come over later and left. On the way home I texted my friend Oli from England, he may or may not have been my boyfriend at one point.
Alex~ "Hey man!"
Oli~ "What the hell do you want?! It's like 11:00 pm here." Alex~ "Sorry dude, but I think I've found my next boyfriend ;D" Oli~ "Oh really? Who's this charming lad."
I quickly sent him the picture I had taken of Jack before popping my headphones in my ears again.
Oli~ "He looks good, what's his name? Where'd you meet him?"
Alex~ "His name is Jack and I, uh, met him at church..."
Oli didn't reply after that, either he's pissed that I've already found someone else or he's asleep. I noticed we were pulling up the drive way to my house and hopped out of the car once dad had parked it.
I ran up to my room and plugged my phone into my stereo. I listened to music and wrote some music, then I heard my parents start arguing again. I sighed and got up, turning the music up a bit louder.
I was about to continue practicing a song when I heard something that caught my attention.
"Jim, I just think that if he wants to date a boy, that maybe we should just let him!" My mom yelled at my dad.

Then I figured it out, they were arguing about me.

"Helen, the boy needs to learn that he is man and loves women. Not men!" My dad yelled back at her, just as loud. "Jim, can't you ju-"
"Can I just what Helen?! Can I just realize that my son is a faggot?! Yes I can, but I don't want to!" My dad yelled back. I felt tears start to make their way down my cheeks. I turned my stereo up more than I should have, but right now that was the least of my worries. I looked around my dresser drawer for my little 'friend' so to speak.
~trigger warning darlings these little dears ~ will appear when it's over~
I felt my fingers brush against the cool of the metal that had been untouched for about a week. I closed my hand around it and closed my drawer quickly. I ran into my closet and closed the door, I liked the darkness of it. It matched the part of my soul that was battling with the other side, the brighter side. I slid my jeans down, turning my little 'friend' in my hand. I quickly made work of my thighs. Soon enough I had made 15 or so cuts on each thigh. I got up and grabbed an old shirt, wiping the blood off my legs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I climbed out of my closet and checked the time, it was almost time to go to Jack's. I picked out a gray t-shirt to wear with a pair of skinny jeans and my white converse. I was tying my shoe when my mom walked in. "Alex, swee- oh, I see your ready. Let's go son." She said leaving my door open and walking off. I sighed before grabbing my black jacket, phone, and headphones before turning my light off and closing the door behind me.

Notes

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