Take a Breath, Say Goodbye
Chapter One
The mirror is pissing him off. His stupid hair is pissing him off. The blonde sticking up in every way but the way he wants it to. This bowtie is pissing him off because he looks like a posh twat and all he wants is to look nice for Alex. Which is also pissing him off because he’s only spoken to the guy once and he’s acting like a teenage girl with her first crush. His fucking nose is pissing him off because it’s too shitting big and every time he smiles it’s too shitting big because he’s too shitting excited. He hears a car horn outside and knows his time is up. However he looks, he doesn’t have time to change it. He quickly straightens the jet black bowtie, tied lovingly around his neck by his Mum only minutes earlier, jumps down the stairs two at a time, kisses his Mum on the cheek as she hands him the bottle of champagne he bought as a gift and opens the door just as the horn beeps again.
“Yo Barakat, hurry the fuck up! Gavin’ll have our asses if we’re late!”
“Hold up Zack! Bye Mum!” Jack closed the door on his mother’s “Bye dear!” and raced down the garden to Zack’s car, parked on the curb outside.
“You look sweet Jacko man!” Jack smiled at Zack’s compliment, hoping Alex thought the same, then frowned at that thought. Why did it matter what Alex thought? Jesus. Teenage girl, literally. Jack sighed liberally and looked out of the window, trying to block Alex’s brown eyes and messy hair out of his goddamn head. It didn’t work, three seconds later his head was filled with “Hey Jack” and brown puppy dog eyes and what Alex would look like with bed hair in the morning and hooded eyes and his fingers laced with Jack’s instead of Lisa’s and Jack hits his face against the window, because what’s the point? The guy is obviously happy with his girlfriend, obviously straight and Jack doesn’t often find people who give a fuck about him or his feelings to be honest.
“Yo Jack, you look whacked, have you slept at all in the last 5 months?”
“Ha ha, very fucking funny asshole, don’t feel well that’s all”
“Well that’s the shittiest answer ever but whatever” Jack tries to turn his attention to anything, everything but Alex. The numbers on the meters in front of Zack. 60MPH. Volume 20. FHM 97.1. Petr-Alex. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Leather jacket. Tight pants. Combat boots. Fuck my life. Jack’s about ready to open the car door and throw himself onto the street when Zack brakes and he looks up at the cosiest house he’s ever laid eyes on.
The front door is a light brown colour, not the horrible kind Jack associates with like… shit. It’s a nice brown. It reminds Jack of fur. There are little hedges lining the way up the garden path and flowers hanging from hooks either side of the door. The fence surrounding the garden is white and a sudden wave of nausea hits Jack because it’s the most cliché place he’s ever been too and it makes him want to be violently sick. He steps out of the car and the sound of barking hits his ears. Nausea immediately vanishes as two dogs (Jack can’t quite distinguish their breed) rush down the path and begin leaping at the gate in a futile attempt to jump over and reach the intruders. Jack giggles and looks up and swallows audibly. Alex is leaning against the doorframe, one leg crossed over the other, arms crossed, hair looking like he’s just woken up, no stubble this time, face freshly shaven. He’s wearing a red and black checked shirt, buttons all done up and another pair of tight jeans that make something in Jack’s stomach do a backflip. His socks have rubber ducks on them and Jack has to physically stop himself from squealing.
“Hey man” Jack manages as he pushes his way through the gate, trying not to let the dogs escape. This manoeuvre is pointless, as soon as Jack comes into the garden the dogs begin leaping at his legs and barking for attention. Jack kneels down and scratches both dogs behind the ears and one of them yelps playfully, tail wagging against Jack’s leg. Jack hears Alex giggle and starts, having not heard the man walk over.
“How’re you doing man?” Alex holds out a hand, obviously with the intention of shaking Jack’s and Jack has to physically tell himself to stop shaking in case Alex thinks he’s some kind of fucking weirdo. He finally grabs the hand in front of him and yelps in shock when Alex pulls him in for a hug. After a pat on the back Alex lets him go and Jack excuses himself.
“Uh- bathroom?”
“Yeah right, uh, straight up the stairs, first on the left, you can’t miss it” Alex smiles and Jack barely manages to return it before he runs upstairs, looking slightly like he’s shit himself due to the raging boner he’s hiding in his pants.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?!” Jack says, looking down at the very noticeable bulge in his black skinny jeans. He tries tucking it to the side but it just looks like he has a huge ballsack. He settles with tucking it into his waistband and flushes the toilet, quickly running his hands under the cold water and flicking them in the air before rushing downstairs. Alex is waiting at the bottom and just Jack’s luck, he trips on the bottom step and flies straight into the awaiting man. Alex opens his arms in an attempt to catch him but they both fall to the floor, knocking against the wall on the way down.
“Jesus Alex what happened?!” Lisa appears in the doorway, a worried look etched on her face. Alex laughs timidly as he sits up under Jack.
“It’s fine Lis, Jack tripped up that’s all, we’re okay” He smiles and, obviously satisfied, Lisa smiles back and turns back to what Jack assumes is the kitchen. Then he realises what a compromising position he’s in. His boner is very obviously pressed against the inside of Alex’s right thigh. His nose is almost touching Alex’s left cheek and he has one hand on the wall and one hand on Alex’s shoulder. He is literally an inch turn away from Alex’s lips. One tiny movement, just one and-
“Uh Jack?”
“Uh yeah sorry, I’m such a klutz”
“It’s cool, no harm done, you’re alright aren’t you?”
“Yeah, just worried I’ve crushed you”
“Don’t be stupid you banana! I’m fine, c’mon, Gavin and Zack are in the lounge” With another of those grins that sends Jack’s heart off into space, Alex swivels around and heads through the first door on his right. Not before Jack gets a load of what he’s packing in the back though. His mouth drops open at the way the jeans hug Alex’s behind and he has to check he hasn’t dribbled everywhere before following Alex into the lounge.
“Yo Barakat, hurry the fuck up! Gavin’ll have our asses if we’re late!”
“Hold up Zack! Bye Mum!” Jack closed the door on his mother’s “Bye dear!” and raced down the garden to Zack’s car, parked on the curb outside.
“You look sweet Jacko man!” Jack smiled at Zack’s compliment, hoping Alex thought the same, then frowned at that thought. Why did it matter what Alex thought? Jesus. Teenage girl, literally. Jack sighed liberally and looked out of the window, trying to block Alex’s brown eyes and messy hair out of his goddamn head. It didn’t work, three seconds later his head was filled with “Hey Jack” and brown puppy dog eyes and what Alex would look like with bed hair in the morning and hooded eyes and his fingers laced with Jack’s instead of Lisa’s and Jack hits his face against the window, because what’s the point? The guy is obviously happy with his girlfriend, obviously straight and Jack doesn’t often find people who give a fuck about him or his feelings to be honest.
“Yo Jack, you look whacked, have you slept at all in the last 5 months?”
“Ha ha, very fucking funny asshole, don’t feel well that’s all”
“Well that’s the shittiest answer ever but whatever” Jack tries to turn his attention to anything, everything but Alex. The numbers on the meters in front of Zack. 60MPH. Volume 20. FHM 97.1. Petr-Alex. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Leather jacket. Tight pants. Combat boots. Fuck my life. Jack’s about ready to open the car door and throw himself onto the street when Zack brakes and he looks up at the cosiest house he’s ever laid eyes on.
The front door is a light brown colour, not the horrible kind Jack associates with like… shit. It’s a nice brown. It reminds Jack of fur. There are little hedges lining the way up the garden path and flowers hanging from hooks either side of the door. The fence surrounding the garden is white and a sudden wave of nausea hits Jack because it’s the most cliché place he’s ever been too and it makes him want to be violently sick. He steps out of the car and the sound of barking hits his ears. Nausea immediately vanishes as two dogs (Jack can’t quite distinguish their breed) rush down the path and begin leaping at the gate in a futile attempt to jump over and reach the intruders. Jack giggles and looks up and swallows audibly. Alex is leaning against the doorframe, one leg crossed over the other, arms crossed, hair looking like he’s just woken up, no stubble this time, face freshly shaven. He’s wearing a red and black checked shirt, buttons all done up and another pair of tight jeans that make something in Jack’s stomach do a backflip. His socks have rubber ducks on them and Jack has to physically stop himself from squealing.
“Hey man” Jack manages as he pushes his way through the gate, trying not to let the dogs escape. This manoeuvre is pointless, as soon as Jack comes into the garden the dogs begin leaping at his legs and barking for attention. Jack kneels down and scratches both dogs behind the ears and one of them yelps playfully, tail wagging against Jack’s leg. Jack hears Alex giggle and starts, having not heard the man walk over.
“How’re you doing man?” Alex holds out a hand, obviously with the intention of shaking Jack’s and Jack has to physically tell himself to stop shaking in case Alex thinks he’s some kind of fucking weirdo. He finally grabs the hand in front of him and yelps in shock when Alex pulls him in for a hug. After a pat on the back Alex lets him go and Jack excuses himself.
“Uh- bathroom?”
“Yeah right, uh, straight up the stairs, first on the left, you can’t miss it” Alex smiles and Jack barely manages to return it before he runs upstairs, looking slightly like he’s shit himself due to the raging boner he’s hiding in his pants.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with you?!” Jack says, looking down at the very noticeable bulge in his black skinny jeans. He tries tucking it to the side but it just looks like he has a huge ballsack. He settles with tucking it into his waistband and flushes the toilet, quickly running his hands under the cold water and flicking them in the air before rushing downstairs. Alex is waiting at the bottom and just Jack’s luck, he trips on the bottom step and flies straight into the awaiting man. Alex opens his arms in an attempt to catch him but they both fall to the floor, knocking against the wall on the way down.
“Jesus Alex what happened?!” Lisa appears in the doorway, a worried look etched on her face. Alex laughs timidly as he sits up under Jack.
“It’s fine Lis, Jack tripped up that’s all, we’re okay” He smiles and, obviously satisfied, Lisa smiles back and turns back to what Jack assumes is the kitchen. Then he realises what a compromising position he’s in. His boner is very obviously pressed against the inside of Alex’s right thigh. His nose is almost touching Alex’s left cheek and he has one hand on the wall and one hand on Alex’s shoulder. He is literally an inch turn away from Alex’s lips. One tiny movement, just one and-
“Uh Jack?”
“Uh yeah sorry, I’m such a klutz”
“It’s cool, no harm done, you’re alright aren’t you?”
“Yeah, just worried I’ve crushed you”
“Don’t be stupid you banana! I’m fine, c’mon, Gavin and Zack are in the lounge” With another of those grins that sends Jack’s heart off into space, Alex swivels around and heads through the first door on his right. Not before Jack gets a load of what he’s packing in the back though. His mouth drops open at the way the jeans hug Alex’s behind and he has to check he hasn’t dribbled everywhere before following Alex into the lounge.
3/30/13