Alex

It was around eleven in the morning when Zack came bursting through the door. “Honey, I’m home,” he shouted at the top of his lungs and I deadpanned before hiding my face in my hands.

I was in the living room, writing lyrics to a song I suddenly felt obligated to finish, while Jack was upstairs with his backpack and guitar, probably getting some rest. The tension between us had proven to be too uncomfortable and he had decided to break it by saying he was tired. I had showed him the empty room and then left him to be on his own, somewhat relieved.

Now, however, I was sure he had heard Zack’s entrance and, even though I enjoyed joking around with my best friend, it felt somewhat awkward.

“Aw, what’s wrong, princess?” Zack asked, spotting me on the couch. There was a slight trace of worry in his voice so I looked up, letting him know that there was nothing wrong with me. Well, almost. Except the boy that had crushed my feelings was now lying on the bed upstairs. And running through my thoughts.

“Uh, Zee,” I started, only to be interrupted by footsteps running down the stairs and then freezing as soon as they reached the last step. Jack looked at Zack with wide eyes, then at me. I sighed. The boy quietly grabbed his sneakers and then ran back upstairs.

Zack watched him go. “Care to explain?” he raised an almost suggestive eyebrow, smiling at me as soon as the kid had disappeared.

“That’s Jack,” I replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Wait, that’s that guy?” he asked, looking at me in confusion.

“Yeah. Long story short, his parents kicked him out,” I explained and Zack sat down next to me, kicking his shoes off.

“Alright. Why’d you let him in?”

“Well, he kind of literally fell into my arms,” I laughed, surprising both me and Zack. “He fainted.”

“I see,” he breathed out slowly and then looked at me. “Actually, no, I don’t. Why is he still here?”

I sighed, crossing my legs and pulling my hands over my tired eyes. “He said he didn’t have anywhere else to go. It’s not like I want him to be here, you just should’ve seen his bruises.. I can’t let the kid wander around like that. I couldn’t forgive myself,” I told him quietly.

“About that – I thought you only got his nose? His face looks pretty fucked up,” Zack mumbled, taking some crisps from the bowl that was on the table.

“I think.. I think his father did it to him,” I finally managed.

“You serious?” I nodded. Zack sighed. “Huh, I’ve never understood it. How can someone abuse their own son?”

“I know, Zee, I know,” I whispered.

We fell into silence, me finishing the lyrics and Zack just going through different channels.

That was until we both heard a melody coming from upstairs. It was quiet, almost impossible to hear over the sound of the television, but we caught it nevertheless. I looked over at Zack and he pushed the ‘mute’ button. As soon as we were able to hear what exactly the melody was, I closed my eyes. The kid was playing Down by Blink.

-

I was walking to my room an hour or two later, which obviously meant passing the room Jack was in. “B-but J-Joe,” I heard the boy whimper and stopped in my tracks. “I-I can’t, I’m broke, Joe, please,” he begged and I could tell it had something to do with him trying to find a place to settle in. “Yes, b-but.. No, Joe, I can’t stay here, I’m not staying with a friend! Joe!” I was sure he was about to lose his temper and, yes, what followed was in fact a scream, but it was not what I had expected. “You don’t even give a fuck about me, do you? Fine. You know what, when I pull myself together, I’ll go drown myself somewhere no one will find my body so you wouldn’t need to pull your fucking arse to my funeral!” I heard a loud thud and figured that the boy had thrown his phone at the wall.

I stood there awkwardly, torn between asking him if he’s alright and just minding my own business.

As if some higher power had heard me, the door opened and I was caught.

I expected Jack to be angry, perhaps shout at me for listening to something that was of his private life, but all he did was swallow hard and look away. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he choked out with a sob and then ran off, leaving me confused. I heard the front door slam shut and soon Zack’s steps were coming upstairs.

“What was that about?”

“I have no idea,” I breathed and walked into my room, feeling slightly annoyed at how Jack was acting.

-

It was getting dark outside when I finally managed to get out of the bar, my guitar case in my hand.

“Great job, man,” I heard from somewhere behind me and turned around to see Rian give me a thumbs up and a wink before rushing back in. I smiled to myself. Rian was one of the bartenders and also the reason why I had even got this job in the first place. Bless him for that.

I had played one of my new songs, Break Your Little Heart, today and everyone had seemed to be enjoying it. However, I had turned down most of the offers to get a drink. I had different worries this night.

It was somewhere around ten when I neared my house, only to be welcomed by a small figure right next to my front door.

“Jack?” I asked quietly but the boy didn’t seem to move. I knelt next to him and shook his shoulder. “Jack?” I tried again.

The boy groaned quietly and opened his eyes. It was easy to catch the moment he realized what was going on because he jumped up the next second, his eyes wide and his arms shaking already.

“Woah, calm down. Sorry, Zack must’ve gone out before you returned,” I told him with a small smile on my lips.

“I, oh, yeah,” he stuttered. He seemed to do that a lot when talking to me.

I unlocked the door and held it open for Jack, who awkwardly stepped in and continued looking down. I bit my lip, wondering what to do next.

“Are you alright?” I finally asked.

“F-fine. I’ll just go upstairs,” he mumbled and looked at me, faking a smile, before running to his room.

I sighed and closed the door, walking to the living room with my guitar still in my hands. I was tired and Jack was starting to get on my nerves.

-

Around midnight I got a text from Zack, saying he’d stay at Tay’s over the weekend. I groaned, the reality hitting me. I was going to have to spend my weekend with Jack. Even though the boy was avoiding me just as much as I tried avoiding him, his presence in this house was obvious.

I closed my eyes and fell asleep on the couch, too tired to go upstairs.

-

I woke up at ten in the morning, feeling slightly better. I shuffled around the couch, turning on the telly and settling on some kind of a nature channel. A few minutes later I heard quiet noises from somewhere upstairs and when I looked up from the TV minutes later, I saw the lanky boy standing awkwardly by the couch.

So much for a nice morning.

“Can I, uhm, join you?” he asked, still wearing my Green Day shirt that looked slightly too big for him, his hair as messy as always.

“Sure,” I answered because, really, what else could I say?

“Thank you,” he muttered and sat down on the opposite side of the couch.

Silence fell upon us, each of us sitting as far from the other as possible. I could see the boy trying to focus on the TV while I kept throwing him small glances. The kid still looked pale, his skinny arms wrapped around his legs. It seemed to be his favourite position. I looked away, but my eyes kept drifting back to the younger boy until I was caught. A blush crept on Jack’s face.

“So, uhm, why’d you create a fake profile in the first place?” I asked awkwardly and mentally punched myself a second later – because I didn’t really want to hear it – but it was too late already. The boy seemed to kind of shrink, biting his lip like he usually did when he was nervous.

“I guess, well, I.. I was lonely?”

“Lonely?” I asked skeptically.

“I wanted to find someone to talk to, so yes, lonely. I thought that maybe if I put Joe’s picture up, more people would want to talk to me. It worked,” he paused. “But it wasn’t worth it. Some of the people I added were a bunch of jerks and I was ready to give up until a suggestion showed me your name and I clicked on it. I saw you liked Blink and decided to give it a try,” he finished.

I sighed. “You could’ve told me the truth,” I told him.

“I was scared, okay?” Jack said in an irritated tone, surprising us both. “Ugh. I saw your picture and I liked you. You replied to my message and the longer we talked, the less courage I had. I got caught up in my lies and I didn’t want to stop talking to you. When you said you loved me, I-I..” he trailed off, looking away.

“You what?” I asked bitterly, the anger of what this kid had done to me returning.

“I knew I loved you back! But I also knew you didn’t love me, you loved Joe! I had never meant for that to happen, I-I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he tried to defend himself.

I curled my hands into fists and sighed loudly. “Well, that’s exactly what you ended up doing, Jack. You hurt me more than Josh had,” I told him, surprised to hear myself acknowledge that. “You lied to me from the beginning, you fucking got to my heart and then stabbed it. This,” I motioned between us, “won’t happen. It wouldn’t work out even if you were older so you can forget about it. Sure, you’ve been kicked out, but the fact that your dad doesn’t love you gives you no right to feel sorry for yourself and expect me to forgive you.” Jack stared at me with wide eyes and I knew I was hurting him, but I didn’t know where those words were coming from, so I couldn’t stop it. “You’re supposed to grow up and get out of this mess instead of pitying yourself. If you’re lonely, go find friends outside your house. You have to work to get through this life.”

I finished, catching up with everything I had just said. I knew I had been harsh, but he had deserved it. Right? I was annoyed with him, I was irritated. The fact that the boy had come to me after getting thrown out like I was his friend.

“S-so.. S-should I j-just leave? I-I don’t want to be a b-burden,” he stuttered, holding back tears.

I sighed. I had meant to pull him back into reality, not push him back into his damaged state.

“No. I and Zack agreed you could stay. I can hardly just throw you out and let you wander around the streets. All I’m saying is you need to fix your own life and come to terms with the fact that I don’t see you as Joe. You’re a stranger to me.” My voice easily gave away my frustration and I decided to leave to my room while I could, not sparing another look at the boy.

My feelings were tearing me apart and I settled on writing the chords for my song.

Notes

Oooooooh~