This World's An Ugly Place

I walked back into Alex's room, towel in hand while I dried my dripping hair. Since school was out now, my mornings were usually just filled with laying around with Alex while evenings were followed by hanging at the music store or at Jack's house. It wasn't often that me and Alex were separated, but the only times we did were at Jack's when Lexus was around and me and Lexus went by ourselves.

"Okay...what are you doing to that poor guitar?" I asked, wringing my hair with the towel.

Alex was hunched over his acoustic - one he hadn't touched, not in front of me, yet - and looked up at me with distress. "I'm trying to figure out how to tune it back to normal," he said, huffing and pushing the acoustic off his lap and back onto the bed.

I giggled at that, walking over and tentatively picking the guitar up. Generally, Alex didn't care if I touched the guitar anymore, but I always had to make sure. I placed it across my stomach and strung the strings before cringing; it was wildly out of tune. "Geez, what was it tuned to before?"

He shrugged his shoulders, suddenly going mute once more. The guitar held big memories for him, but I was still hesitant to ask.

I frowned, setting the guitar back down on his bed and then walking over to his dresser and snatched a hair brush to run through my drying hair. "It doesn't matter, I guess. I have band practice today so we can bring it down to the music shop for Case to help us tune it," I said, looking into his mirror.

He nodded his head slowly. "What time do we have to go?"

I checked the clock, it was nearly noon. "Practice isn't for three hours, but we can stop by earlier, anyways. We're having a new guy coming over to practice with us."

He raised an eyebrow at me through the mirror. "New bass player?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Possibly. It depends on how he practices with us today."

"Is Jack coming today?"

"You mean our groupie?" I asked and he laughed. "Of course he is, especially if there's going to be a new guy there."

"What's this guy's name?"

"Erm, Zack I think. He went to our school but he graduated this year; he hung out with the druggies all the time so I never really saw him around," I explained. "Speaking of guitar players, when we tune your guitar are you going to play me something?"

A sly smile came onto Alex's face and he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, possibly."

I pointed a finger at him. "I'm going to hold that to you," I said.

"Angel, Angel, Angel," a high pitched voice whined as Lily came running into Alex's room. "Are you going to take me to get ice cream today?"

I leaned down towards the young girl and ruffled the top of her head. "Why do you suddenly want ice cream now?"

Lily pouted her lip at me, pushing my hand away from her head. "Because last night I had a nightmare that all the ice cream in the world disappeared!"

"News flash, Lil," I said, turning from her and looking into the mirror as I messed with my hair, "we all live in one big nightmare."

She stuck her tongue out at me. "I bet Jack would take me!"

"I'm not Jack, am I?" I asked, turning to her with a smile on my face. I loved teasing her.

She stomped her foot at me. "Angel," she whined once more.

"Look, I'll take you out next week, okay? I can't today, I've got band practice," I explained and a bright smile spread across Lily's face now.

"Yay!" she cheered, skipping out of the room now that she got what she wanted.

I stood back up, shaking my head at the little blond headed girl who had disappeared from the room. "It's going to hurt leaving her behind when I leave this home," I commented, my smile slowly sliding off of my face.

Alex bit down on his bottom lip, standing up and walking towards me. "If it helps, you'll be leaving here a few days before me so I'll keep an eye on her before I leave myself."

I sighed, leaning against his dresser and looking down. "I think I'm still going to visit this place a lot, for Lily's sake and to help Ms. Wendy. Plus, those few days where you'll be living here on your own I'll be over here so you won't be all alone."

He smiled at that. "You know, your name fits you."

I lifted an eyebrow up at that. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You remind me of you being my own personal guardian Angel."

***

"Okay, it's all tuned," Case said, handing the guitar off to Alex who seemed to be beaming with excitement.

"Seriously? Thanks so much!" he spoke, hugging the guitar to his chest and running his fingers across the strings.

Case chuckled, lightly slapping his hand to Alex's shoulder. "Hey, it's no problem."

"Case, come here for a sec," Sebastian called from the front of the store and I stole Case's seat.

"So, you going to play me something now?" I asked, spinning around in my chair and he chuckled lightly. We were currently sitting in one of the back practice rooms and it was about fifteen minutes until practice started.

"I guess," he said, gazing down at the acoustic in his hands. "I haven't practiced in forever, so I can't promise it'll be anywhere near as good as yours."

"Oh, hush, you're going to rock it. Are you going to sing to?" I asked.

He frowned at that. "You're pushing it, you know."

"Oh, come on, please, please, please," I begged, putting my hands together and pouting my lip out at him.

He groaned and looked away. "I can't say no to that face."

I immediately perked up at that, leaning forward knowing I was going to get what I wanted now. "What song are you going to play?" I asked, handing him a pick.

"Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day," he said, positioning his fingers over the frets.

Before I could comment on how it was so like him to go straight for a Green Day song, he began playing the first few chords. I could see him smile down at his guitar as he began playing and I felt my heart flutter at the boy in front of me. I had never seen him so content.

As the chorus came up, he took a deep breath and began singing. He began quiet, but as the song went on I could see more emotion pour into the song. My heart fluttered with emotion seeing how moved Alex was by this music and he didn't reawaken until he stopped playing the last chord and took in a deep breath.

"W-Wow," I breathed, blinking a couple of times. I was a bit blown away by this, although he told me he was a singer I guess I didn't really even consider how good his voice would be. "That was amazing."

He smiled at that, shifting in his seat and looking down. "Thanks," he nearly whispered.

"Dude, that was freaking awesome," Jack said, walking into the room and I looked up surprised to see Case and Sebastian standing there as well.

Alex face then blushed and he looked away, clearly embarrassed. "Ah, thanks, man. I didn't realize you guys were there."

"I didn't realize how awesome you could sing," Jack spoke back.

"I think you have some competition," Sebastian said, gazing over at Case.

"In more ways than one," Jack added with a wink and the two laughed at that.

I turned my attention back at Alex whom didn't look as happy as he was before. In fact, he looked like he was struggling to keep from crying at the moment. "Alex..?" I whispered, leaning closer to him.

He reached his hand out quickly, grabbing a hold of my arm and that was enough for me to realize something was wrong. I quickly grabbed his hand and stood up, dragging him with me out the practice room.

"We'll be right back!" I called to the guys and I pulled Alex out the back door where he collapsed onto his knees and began gasping. "Alex?" I asked quickly, kneeling down in front of him and putting my hands onto his neck. "Breath, breath, come on, you can do it," I encouraged him as he continued to gasp for air. His hands held onto my forearms and I quickly nodded my head as he got a breath of air into his lungs. "Good, keep doing that," I whispered, rubbing my thumbs up and down.

"D-Dammit," he whispered, tears beginning to flood his vision and he collapsed into me as he began breathing once more.

I exhaled, relief flooding over me as I rubbed Alex's back. His head was resting on my shoulder and his hair tickled my neck, but I ignored the feeling; I was just thankful I got him out of the attack.

We stayed like that until Alex's breathing went back to normal and he slowly pushed himself up to where he was standing. He held onto his head and I stood up beside him, reaching my hand up to brush his hair out of his face. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded his head, looking away. "I thought I was over having panic attacks, they always get me."

"That's totally fine," I comforted him and he then pulled me close in a hug. His arms flexed around me and he took a deep breath in.

"I...I miss him," he whispered.

"W-Who?"

"M-My uncle. His name was Ben and I lived with him. That guitar...it was his. He taught me how to play that song," he spoke, his voice cracking.

"You lived with your uncle..." I repeated.

He nodded his head. "He was an amazing man, he...he took me in when I was just a kid, after my mom died. He got cancer last September and he...passed away."

"Alex, I'm so sorry," I whispered, squeezing my arms tighter around him. My heart ached for the boy, to have the one person in his family to pass away just like that.

"I miss him so goddamn much," he sobbed, his legs beginning to give out and I strengthened my own standing in case he fell down once more.

I stayed quiet, keeping my arms tight around the crying boy. There was nothing I could say that would mend his heart right now, all I could do was stay here for him. Actually, what he was doing right now was exactly what he needed to do - let it out.

"Come here," I said, pulling him over to the wall where we both knelt down, his taller frame leaning heavily against mine.

Again, we stayed like this for a while. I knew the boys would search for us soon, but all I cared about right now was Alex - he needed me. I wasn't going to leave him like this and if he wanted to go home right now, I would skip out on practice for him.

"I-I'm sorry," Alex whispered eventually, leaning away from me and rubbing his eyes. "I just...lost myself there."

"Don't be sorry," I told him, letting my hand squeeze his arm. "Never be sorry for confiding to me. I'm always here for you."

"Angel," he nearly whispered now, looking down at me.

I looked up at him questioningly, but before I could ask what he reached down and cupped my cheek and brought our lips together.

Notes

Ohhhhh kisses n_n