Unicorn Hair

Another week without Jack and I’m not just annoyed anymore, I start to worry about him. It has never been that long. It has been a week, but only at the very beginning. It had never taken him two weeks to come here. I know that it’s his wedding this week and I don’t expect his visit now. He’ll be needed there. Only thing keeping me alive is image of Jack leaving his new wife the moment they step into their house.

But even thinking about that, I can’t stop my mind from imagining bad things happening to him. What if his father had found out about his talk with this girl? What it he knows about Jack coming here? That wouldn’t end well for him. What if someone saw us at the forest? We don’t who else was there. Maybe there was someone behind these trees or bushes. Maybe, if they saw us, they told this to his father and now Jack has some huge trouble.

With all that and more on my mind I keep doing my daily things. Not that I would enjoy that. I got some complaints through Arnold from clients. I guess they don’t like when my mind is somewhere else. I guess I wouldn’t like that either so I don’t blame them about that, but Arnold didn’t like that. He didn’t yell at me, no, he don’t do that to his boys, but he went along with words like – if you are supposed to fuck them, than you will do this and you will enjoy it, at least you will act like you enjoy that.

On Thursday night, when my last client finally left, I walk downstairs. I want to spend some time at bar. I don’t plan on getting wasted. Last time was enough for me. For a while. I spot that Arnold is not at his table and that is rare thing to see.

As I’m about to enter the bar Arnold walks in with small piece of paper in his hands. He looks up from paper and locks his eyes with mine,

“You know this is dangerous.”

“What? Going to bar?”

“No, this,” he holds up the paper and I see it’s a letter.

“And it is…?”

“It’s for you, but you know this can be dangerous not just for the House, but for you and the person who sent you this.”

“And who sent this?” I walk closer to Arnold, trying to see what is written on front.

“I don’t know. There’s just your word on front. Maybe inside is word of the writer,” he gives me the letter, “just know that I warned you. And better warn your writer too, if you can, but please don’t use letters. We don’t need any trouble in here.”

I look at the letter and there’s really nothing, just my name. I turn around and, without giving Arnold last look, run back to my room to find who would write me.

I sat down on my bed, crossing my legs and ripped off small paper that was hiding my letter. I scanned letter, looking for name of author and found one letter at the end of letter. Letter that said everything to me – J. I know he couldn’t write his whole name, because letter could get into wrong hands and that wouldn’t be good.

I lay against the headboard of my bed and started to read letter. It wasn’t too long, but it was long for Jack. I’m surprised he wrote it all. Maybe someone helped him. Small smile spreads across my lips thinking about Jack deep in his thoughts while writing this.

Alex,
I apologize about not visiting you, not even at bar, but I know you will understand. You always understand me and I hope you will understand me this time too. These weeks had been nightmare. I can’t stand my family not even talking about my next wife. It feels like women get crazy when there is something related to wedding going on, but that is not why I am writing to you, kind of.
As you probably know I am getting married tomorrow (if you get this letter on time). I won’t be able to see you for another week, I think. Maybe less, but at least five more days, that is clear. We are going out of town on Saturday, but I will try to get back as fast as possible, I don’t need another crazy week with all my family and this girl.
However, what you need to know is that the first thing I will do when I get back is go to bar. I know you have your list full for at least whole next week so bar is only place to meet you. I can’t wait another two weeks. This is too much to ask from me if I feel the way I do. You have no idea how you make me feel, but I can’t write that so I’ll see you someday at bar,
J.

I know, it’s not much for a letter, but it is already too much if it is from Jack. I hold it close to me. It feels like hugging Jack, I just don’t get a hug back. It is a piece from him. He used his free time to write it to me. Teenage girls feelings start to take over me again while I’m rereading letter over and over again.

His handwriting is not as messy as I would’ve expected. Maybe he wrote many other letters before he came up with this one, which would explain why it is so clean. It’s clean, no ink spills, no mistakes. He probably wrote one before he did this one, but that makes me feel even better. He wanted it to be perfect.

But what did he mean by saying – this is too much to ask from me if I feel the way I do. How does he feel about me? I know I feel more close to him than anyone. I haven’t felt that way with anyone, but can he feel the same. I was close with my brother, but that way before my family found out about my sickness. I don’t know if he felt the same way about me as our parents. He never had a chance to talk to me, before I was thrown out of my house, the place I grew up, the place I thought I would be loved and welcomed every time.

Maybe that’s why I understand Jack so well. He is scared to be left with nothing. It might be even harder for him, because he always gets what he wants. He has money and that means everything at this town. If his father found out, he would have nothing. I never had money, now I have more money than I thought is possible to have. I had nothing to lose. When my parents threw me out I kind of thought I finally have a chance to have a better life, but I was so wrong. I was starving more than ever in my life, I had nowhere to go and no one wanted to let me stay at their place. That was until Arnold got me from this guy. For a long time I felt like he sold me. He gave me to Arnold along with these goddamn boxes. I still kind of feel that way, but now I also feel like someone cares about me.

Finally I feel like someone really cares about me and not just about money I can make.

Notes

just something, I don't really know what it is ;D but to keep things moving, there's this part ;D hope you like it more than I like it.