Living In The Radio

***Alex's POV***
Zack hadn't said much since Harley had stormed off. Me, Rian and Jack were all sitting on the couch watching a movie which I wasn't paying much attention to. It sucked to be completely honest, and I wasn't interested.
"This movie kind of sucks," Said Jack.
"I was just thinking the same thing," I laughed.
"Are we still hanging out at the party tonight?" Rian piped up.
"I think so," Zack nodded.
"Who's going to be there?" Groaned Jack.
"A bunch of bands," He said.
"Has Harley left the bathroom yet?" I asked. My bladder was starting to warn me, and I had to pee.
"No, she's still in there. Probably planning our murder," Jack laughed. I rolled my eyes.
"Well, I've gotta pee," I whined.
"Then you can bother her," Zack waved a hand at me. "I'm not messing with the beast right now,"
"Do you think she's actually leaving?" Rian asked as I stood and stretched.
"No, her friends are fake as all hell. They'd never come all the way out here for her," Zack shook his head.
"You think?" I cocked my head.
"Yeah, they weren't friendly," He shook his head and I shrugged.
"Well, my bladder's not waiting for her. I'm going in boys," I laughed and started walking towards the curtain.
"If you die, I get to sing," Jack called after me.
"Very funny Barakat," I rolled my eyes and smiled. I made my way down the hall to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
"Go away," I heard her croak.
"I need to piss," I leaned my head against the door. She didn't answer, and I could hear soft sobs. "Harley, I'm coming in. I don't care if you watch, but I'm taking a piss,"
I wiggled the door knob, and stepped right in. She looked up at me in horror. Her hair was messy and in her face now, and her make up was running. Harley's eyes were red and puffy. I looked down at what she was doing. She was holding her arm over the sink, and there was a shaving razor taken apart beside her. She held one of the small razors in her hand; too close to her wrist.
I instantly swung the door shut behind me and wacked her arm. She dropped the razor with a high pitched thud, and I grabbed both her wrists. She glared at me with her jaw hanging open, and I stared her right in the eyes.
"What the fuck," I said slowly. I turned her wrists over and over again, looking for any incisions.
"WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM GASKARTH?!" She screamed shrilly, and started to wiggle frantically. I tried to hold onto her arms, but she swung out a leg and kicked me in the shins. I let go and my heart dropped.
She scrambled for the razor on the ground, but she was shaky and I got to it first. I stepped on it, and she glanced up at me in pure anger. I lifted my boot and picked up the small razor. It was clean; no blood stains. Good.
"Calm down, before Zack here's you," I shoved it into my pocket, and she continued to stare at me like the grudge.
"Give it back Alex," She said quietly.
"No!" I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together. "What did you think you were doing?"
"Nothing!" She cried, her lower lip trembled.
"You were going to hurt yourself," I corrected her.
"What's it to you?" She shot.
"Stop it! Stop it right now! What happened?" I grabbed her arms again, and checked.
"I didn't do anything, so stop touching me," She glared at me, and ripped her arms out of my grasp.
"What happened, Harley?" I said slowly, and tried to stay calm.
"I want off this tour!" She yelled.
"Shh!" I shushed her quickly. "That's not how to handle being upset,"
"Bullshit," She laughed and rolled her eyes. "What now? You're going to go tell Zack, and the rest of the guys. You're all going to play pity games and pretend to like me, right?"
"I wasn't going to tell anyone..." I said slowly, giving her a serious glance. She stopped talking and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Is this the first time you've tried to do this?"
"Go away," Her voice cracked.
"Harley, answer me," I said sternly.
"No," She shook her head and answered my previous question.
"When was the last time?" I asked.
"Years ago. Go away Alex," She glared at me through tears.
"Don't do it," I shook my head.
"Leave me alone," She sneered.
"No. Not until you promise not to hurt yourself," I shook my head.
She backed away from me and leaned against the wall. "Go away Alex," She repeated herself, trying so hard not to cry. I could tell she was in pain, and I didn't want to make it worse. But I also didn't want to let her hurt herself.
"I'm not going anywhere," I crossed my arms.
"Fine, whatever. Just leave me alone," She gave in and let her shoulders rest.
"I'm not leaving you here in the bathroom alone. Wash up and come back out into the living room," I added.
"Why? Don't trust me?" She rolled her eyes.
"You've already lied to me," I smirked a little.
"About what?" She raised an eyebrow and sniffled.
"You said you'd never swear," I smiled at her, trying to make her smile too.
"Shut up, Gaskarth," She shot, and leaned over the sink. She reached for a face cloth and started dabbing her eyes.
"You'll thank me someday," I leaned against the door while she fixed her make up.
"Why aren't you going to tell Zack?" She asked as she wiped away the long strips of black.
"You don't need his bitching right now," I shrugged. "He'll find out somehow if you do it though,"
"You shouldn't be so nice to me," She sighed and I chuckled.
"I don't have a reason to be anything otherwise. We're meeting up with Austin and some other's again later, okay?"
"Not okay," She groaned and started to apply foundation.
"Did he do something wrong?" I asked.
"No," She admitted with a frown.
"Then don't be so mean," I laughed.
She picked up a hair brush and started brushing through the mess. "Don't tell me what to do,"
"Austin may be a real good guy Harley, but if you insult his fans or anything like that, he can turn into a fucking pit-bull," I warned her.
"I can handle myself," She glared at me, and pushed me away from the door. She stepped back into the living area and I followed her. I was actually fucking proud of myself right now.
***
***Harley's POV***
The guys had made me come with them to a small, empty building and they were all drinking. I sat alone with my arms crossed for the longest time. They hadn't bothered to introduce me to any of the other guys around. Everyone was laughing and drinking, and having a good time. I just wanted to get back to the bus and go to sleep, or otherwise.
I stood up and walked through the crowd to Zack. He was talking with a short guy, with long black hair. He was wearing a white tank with black skinny jeans.
"Hey, Harley," Zack looked me up and down and stopped smiling.
"Hey! I'm Kellin," The guy smiled at me, and nodded. I gave him a fake smile and looked back to Zack.
"I'm going to the trailer," I told him.
"Enjoy yourself," He rolled his eyes and looked back to the short man named Kellin.
"Aw, you don't want to stay for the party?" Kellin grinned at me, and nudged my arm. I gave him a dirty look.
"No, it's not my scene," I shook my head. "Bye," I said awkwardly and showed myself out of the building.
It'd been a long while of wandering around through the campers. Most of them looked the same, and I was sure I was close to mine, right? A few of them had writing on them, and I recognized seeing the same writing on one, at least three times. I was worried now.
I hadn't paid attention on my way to the party. I was too busy being pissed off about having to go to the party! I was alone now, and I didn't know where I was going.
There weren't any street lights so that only lights I had were the faint ones emanating from the other campers. I stopped in my tracks when I saw the same "Black Veil Brides" camper again, for probably the fourth time. I groaned and spun around. I recognized all of these campers. Was I going in circles?
I stumbled around for a minute in utter panic. My stomach starting tying into knots, and I was ready to just sit myself down in the grass until day light. If I slept outside, I'd find my way in the morning, right? That's ridiculous; no I can't do that. The grass would be wet and uncomfortable.
I backed up a few steps and bumped into something warm and hard. I paused, and covered my mouth with my hand. I cringed and didn't look behind me.
"Gimme' all your money," Grumbled a man that I'd bumped into. I screamed at the top of my lungs and spun around to see who it was. "Harley! Harley! Calm down! I was only trying to scare you!"
Austin was laughing hysterically. He reached out and grabbed my arms. I kept my hand over my mouth and stared at him with horror.
"Don't do that!" I muttered, looking him up and down.
"What are you doing?" He chuckled, and let my arms go.
"Going back to the trailer," I stuttered.
"Where are you coming from?" He raised an eyebrow and looked around.
"The party," I said slowly.
"Aw shit, I was supposed to go to that," He rubbed the back of his neck. "And how'd you end up here?"
"What do you mean? Isn't my trailer right over there or something?" I motioned behind him.
"What made you think that?" He laughed and looked behind him.
"That's where you're coming from, isn't it? And my bus is right by yours," I groaned, realizing I was very lost.
"That wasn't my bus. I was visiting some friends. Do you know how to get back, Harley?" He asked.
"Shit," I mumbled under my breath, not loud enough for Austin to hear. "I think so. It should be around here,"
"Well, you seem lost. It's hard to find your way through alike campers, huh?" Austin smiled. "Want me to walk you back? It's not too far from here,"
"Uh...," I looked around and sighed. "Sure, thanks,"
Austin motioned for me to follow him, and he led me through a maze of buses.
"Why in such a rush to get away from the party?" He asked while we walked.
"Not my scene," I repeated what I'd said to Kellin.
"That's a surprise," Austin laughed. "I told them I'd go to it, but I think I've had a crazy enough day,"
"I didn't want to go in the first place," I admitted.
"I'm not a huge party person either. Ever been to Warped before?" He asked.
"No, I haven't. This is my first and hopefully last time," I sighed.
"Trailer's right there," Austin pointed to my trailer, and we approached it. I sighed a breath of relief and smiled.
We got to the door and I opened it up. I stepped onto the first step, and held the door open to talk to Austin for another moment.
"I'm sorry for earlier, Austin," I cringed.
"It's okay! Friends?" He stuck out his hand with a smile. I shook it and smiled back.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked. I didn't want to be alone with my thoughts from earlier.
"Sure, I don't have anywhere else to be," Austin smiled and I pushed open the door wider for him to follow me inside.
I went straight to the living area and plopped myself down onto the couch with a heavy exhale. He'd followed me inside, and stood awkwardly at the kitchens bar.
"Do you want anything to drink?" I asked, motioning to the mini fridge. "Sorry the place is a mess,"
"No thanks, and are you kidding? This is a step up from my bus," He laughed and played with his grey beanie.
"Oh shit, Austin can you throw me that bottle of pills?" I was way too lazy to get up, so I idly waved my arm to the counter.
He picked up the bottle and examined the writing on it. I groaned because I hadn't expected him to read it. He smiled back at me and threw them to me. I caught them and unhitched the cap.
"I take the same ones," He said to me. I looked up at him in surprise as I popped the pill into my mouth. I swallowed it dry.
"Why?" I cocked my head.
"Let's blame the childhood," He laughed and made his way over to the couch, sitting beside me. "I lost my mom not long ago too,"
"I'm sorry Austin," I said in shock.
"Don't be sorry. She's okay now," He smiled at me. "So, why don't you like your brother?"
"Long story," I breathed.
"Well why do you take it out on his friends?" He asked.
"Jack's annoying. Alex is a snoop, and Rian's weird," I shrugged.
"Oh come on," Austin laughed. "If you can be nice to me, you can be nice to them,"
"We'll see," I rolled my eyes. "What do you do in your band?"
"I sing loudly and really angrily," He smiled and bit his tongue.
"Angrily?" I chuckled.
"I scream," He nudged me. I looked at him with wide eyes in horror and confusion.
"You've never heard screaming?" He looked taken aback. I shook my head violently. "Why not?"
"I don't like music," I said slowly.
"That's surprising!" Austin raised an eyebrow.
"Because I'm Zack Merrick's sister?" I rolled my eyes.
"No, because I've never met someone who doesn't like music," He laughed. I heard the door to the bus open and I jumped a little.
Alex, Jack, Rian and Zack came bursting into the room, all looking drunk.
"Can't wait for this hangtoever," Jack slurred with a huge smile.
"Austin, what are you doing here?" Asked Zack with a surprised grin.
"Walked Harley home. She got lost," He explained. "I'll head out now. See you later," Austin waved me goodbye and shuffled out the door.
"So you're nice to Austin now?" Rian laughed.
"Yep," I nodded and rolled my eyes at the four of them.
"Me too!" Alex added.
"I still hate you, Gaskarth," I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed.
***
The next morning I woke up really late and stumbled to the living area. I found Jack laying on the couch and Rian with Zack, both sitting at the bar with cereal. I was confused though, because I was used to waking up to find that Alex woke up first.
"Where's Alex?" I murmured tiredly.
"Leave him alone!" Zack looked up quickly and looked at me worriedly.
"What? Why? I wasn't going to bother him. I was only wondering," I said slowly, putting my hands up in defense.
"He's in his bunk, but you should probably leave him alone," Jack mumbled as he stretched his arms.
"Why?" I cocked my head and rubbed my eyes.
"He's having a panic attack," Rian explained.
"Why?" I asked again, feeling bad for him all of a sudden.
"First show of tour. He's nervous. He'll be fine," Jack shrugged at me.
"He has anxiety?" I asked.
"You're full of questions this morning," Rian laughed.
"I'm only curious," I shrugged.
"Wasn't that our excuse?!" Jack whined, annoyed.
"Oh, shut up," I rolled my eyes and blushed awkwardly.
***

Notes