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Stay Together For The Kids

Stay Together For The Kids

I sighed and softly pressed my lips to the forehead of my son before moving to repeat the action with my daughter, who slept just across the room. I flipped their lights off and gently closed the door behind me, leaving them to their peaceful slumber.

I padded down the dark hallway to the kitchen, there were still a few dishes left to put away and the floor needed to be swept. After finishing my late night chores, I looked to the microwave, curious about the time.

11:15 pm. I still had fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes to wait to see my husband. My husband that was currently traveling across America living his dream, leaving me alone in Baltimore to raise our three year old twins. I never complained to him about his success, about getting to live his dream. But his happiness when he was away wasn't enough to keep me warm at night.

Rian had promised me a Skype call, scheduled for 11:30. And while I tried not to worry, I knew there was every possibility that he would be too busy for me again. I knew that he could reschedule again, it wouldn't be the first time.

But I made my way to our bedroom anyways, settling myself on our big empty bed with my laptop propped on my legs. As I was skimming through my Twitter feed, Rian’s face popped up on my screen signaling an incoming call.

I smiled softly before accepting the call.

“Hey baby.” His voice was raspy with exhaustion and there were dark circles under his eyes.

Never the less, his voice made me forget all my worries, and his smile made me want him next to me. I missed my husband so much that sometimes all I could do was lay in our bed wearing his clothes and think of him, wishing he was with me.

“Rian. I miss you so much.” I said, barely above a whisper.

If I spoke any louder I’d probably cry. It had been a little over a week since I had seen his face. Nothing had changed. His brown eyes were still soft and kind, his smile was still genuine. I fucking missed him.

“I miss you too, Lynn.”

I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t keep myself from crying any longer. The stress of the kids wrecking the house, of them constantly asking for their father never got any easier, no matter how many times he left.

“Hey baby, please don’t cry.” He begged quietly.

“I’m sorry.” I sniffled, wiping my face. “It’s just so hard without you here.” I admitted, my voice cracking.

“I wish I was there more than anything. But I can’t just up and leave.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“I know. I’m not asking you to…to leave tour. I j…just miss you.” I sobbed. “The kids miss you too.” I added.

“How are they?” He asked quickly.

Rian was a good father, and I knew it killed him that he couldn’t be here as his children grew up. Our son, Rocket, was the spitting image of his father with his full cheeks and brown eyes. While his twin sister, Daisy, looked just like me with her red curls and blue eyes. Obviously, they weren’t an identical set.

“They ask about you. Every day.” I replied, drying my eyes.

“Fuck, I just wish I was home.” He whispered. “I love you.” And now it sounded like he was the one fighting tears.

“I love you too.” I answered just as quietly.

We spoke for about another forty five minutes. He told me about tour, how the other guys were doing, and about some of the crazy things All Time Low’s fans had done. I filled him in on the kids’ progress and how my job was going.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, alright baby?”

I nodded, feeling the tears in my eyes as he told me goodbye. Saying goodbye to Rian, even over webcam or on the phone, never got any easier, no matter how many times I had to say it.

After we had both said our goodbyes and our I love yous, I shut my computer and placed it on the bedside table before crawling under the blankets. I settled my head onto my husbands pillow, allowing the scent of him, of his aftershave and deodorant to fill my nostrils. The smell of my husband was so comforting.

I loved Rian, but I didn’t know how much longer I could handle him being away all the time. Raising two toddlers with my husband home would be hard enough, but doing it on my own seemed next to impossible.

I sighed and rolled over, closing my eyes. Only one more month.


“What are you trying to say?” Rian demanded, leaning against the counter.

He had only been home four and a half weeks and the guys already wanted to embark on another six month tour. I knew what I was getting myself in to when I married Rian, but I had no idea that Jack, Alex, and Zack could be so selfish. They never even considered the fact that their friend had a family to tend to back home.

“I can’t do this anymore Rian. I want a divorce.” I repeated, making myself clear.

I just couldn't handle it anymore. He was married to me, not to his band.

“But the kids-“

“They don’t even know their father! They hardly recognized you when you walked through that door! And now you want to leave them again? How is that fair?”

“It’s not my decision! I have a job to do, Lynn! The guys are depending on me!” He argued, sounding desperate.

“Well I’m depending on you too. And so are your children.” I hissed, crossing my arms. “And have you even talked to the guys about this? Have you tried to make them understand what it’s like to be a father and be on the road?”

He pressed his lips together in a hard line and looked away from me before shaking his head.

“I didn’t think so. Maybe if you did, they’d change their minds.” I suggested. “But until you fix this, I want a divorce.”

He put his head into his hands and I could see his shoulders shaking. I hated seeing him in his moments of weakness, especially when I was the cause for his grief. But my hands were tied, what other choice did I have?

“I still love you, Rian. But if you’re never around, what’s the point in being married?” I asked, my voice softening.

“I love you.” He shrugged, looking up at me with his eyes filled with tears.

“I know you do. But sometimes that’s not enough. I’m going to pick up the kids.” I replied before walking out the back door.


“Mommy, where’s daddy?” Rocket questioned, taking his cup from me.

“He went to see Uncle Alex. He’ll be back for dinner.” I promised my son, straightening his shaggy brown hair.

Rian was supposed to be discussing postponing the tour with Alex, Jack, and Zack at Alex’s house.

After I had confessed to him that I wanted a divorce a couple of days earlier, he had been playing with the kids more, offering to take them out for ice cream and to the movies while I stayed home to relax.

I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to sweeten me up just in case the guys didn’t go for the idea of postponing their tour. It wasn’t going to work.

I began to prepare for dinner, spaghetti and breadsticks. I had just put the bread into the oven when the kitchen door opened and closed.

“Hey baby.” Rian greeted, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck as I stirred the simmering sauce.

“Well? How did it go?” I asked, trying not to smile at his show of affection.

“They weren’t very happy at first.” He admitted, taking a seat at the table. “But when I told them what you had said, they were all for postponing.”

“See, I told you all you had to do was talk to them.” I smiled, turning to face him.

“I just didn’t want to let them down.” He sighed, propping his chin in his hand.

“I know, Rian. But you have a family to think of.” I reprimanded, turning back to the stove to stir the sauce again.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “For not thinking about you. About the kids. You guys are everything to me.”


“I love you so much.” Rian breathed, kissing me again.

I sighed happily into the kiss as his hand found the back of my head, his fingers twining into my hair. I moved to kiss his neck as his other hand moved down my stomach to the hem of my shirt.

I froze when I heard a door shut down the hallway. I pushed Rian’s hand back down my shirt and put my finger to his lips, listening to the small pitter patter of feet in the hall.

“Mommy?” Daisy questioned in a small, sleepy voice.

“What is it baby?” I asked, sitting up and turning to the door as Rian groaned.

“Had a bad dream. Sleep with you and Daddy?” She asked hopefully.

She looked so damn cute standing in our doorway. She was wearing a t-shirt from Rian's drawer that was twice her size and holding a stuffed animal, her red hair was standing on end and her eyes were bleary with sleep.

“C’mon sweety. Climb up.” I smiled, beconning her into bed.

She climbed in between us and within a few minutes of Rian stroking her hair, she was fast asleep. I smiled at my husband as he watched our daughter adoringly.

He glanced up at me and smiled when he saw me watching him. He leaned across our daughter and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

“I love you.” He repeated.

“I love you too, Rian.”

I couldn’t think of anywhere else I would rather be than in bed with my rockstar husband with our three year old daughter nestled between us. I couldn’t believe that I had ever even considered leaving him behind.


I wrote this over a year ago. Please let me know what you think. If this gets a good amount of response, I might make this into an actual series.


It's called "You & My Big Dreams"
blasttyrant blasttyrant
Pizzar0lls Pizzar0lls
I'm actually working on the first part of the series now. :3
blasttyrant blasttyrant
Love it! You should make it into a series!
Pizzar0lls Pizzar0lls
Thank you so much! If I get a few more comments I will start working on making it into a mini series!
blasttyrant blasttyrant