A Daydream Away

Jack’s POV

“Of course I care.” I responded gently, moving a strand of Alex’s brown hair away from his wound with my thumb. We stood there for a moment, my hand still rested on his cheek and his eyes peering into mine. His lips were parted slightly, like he was going to say something, but suddenly couldn’t remember what had crossed his mind.
I had an overwhelming urge to press my lips to his. I wanted to feel our tongues collide and his chest press against mine. I wanted to back him up against the stone walls of our school and kiss him until the world ended and there was nothing but our beating hearts left on this earth. I wanted him. All of him. Every layer of skin and every memory he had piled up in his brain. I wanted to taste it all on his lips and never ever thing about what anyone else said, because he was mine.
Instead, I dropped my hand down, fighting the blush I knew was creeping on to my face. I still had to figure out who laid a hand on his perfect face and beat them senseless.
“Who was it?” I asked again, taking a step back. Alex’s eyes flickered with an emotion… disappointment?
I scolded myself on the inside.
‘Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’s into you.’ I reminded myself.
Alex looked down at the ground, muttering something I didn’t understand and tugging at the bottom of his shirt like he was guilty of something.
“What? Dude, you’re gonna have to speak up.” I said, bending down so my ears were closer to his mouth.
“It was Max.” He whispered. That’s when I finally understood why he didn’t want to tell me. He knew I wasn’t going to go after one of my friends.
I wanted to kick myself. Max told me he was going to pick on him more, but I didn’t think it involved actually physically harming Alex.
Alex could deal with verbal abuse. I knew that. He didn’t take things personally, he told me so himself on our walk to his house… yesterday? God it seemed like ages ago.
But physical abuse, that was different. He wasn’t strong or agile enough to fight back… did he think that I thought he was a coward? Was that why he was acting so weird?
I sighed, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the student parking lot.
“I’ll talk to him later, but we should probably get some ice on that. My mom let me drive the car since both my parents are taking one car on their vacation, so we got to go find it.”
Since I had been late to school, my car was at the farthest part in the lot you could get. The walk to Alex’s house seemed quicker than the walk to my car, in all honestly. We trudged along, and I occasionally snuck glances at the slightly smaller boy. He chewed his lip as he walked, apparently still feeling like he was guilty of something.
“Look, Max is a dick sometimes, and I’m really sorry about that. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? I promise.” I said to him as we got in the car, smiling at him reassuringly.
He was in better spirits for the rest of the night.

Our time spent together for the first couple of hours were boring ones. Video games and pizza and a burping contest. It wasn’t until Alex suggested a game of 20 questions that I got excited. Learning about Alex was my new favorite hobby.
“Okay, you first?” I said, sitting cross legged on the floor, directly across from Alex.
“Okay… favorite movie?” He said after thinking for a bit.
I didn’t even hesitate. “Home Alone. Best movie ever made.” I said.
“Dude, that movie is for kids.” Alex laughed.
“Fuck off”
Alex continued to laugh before nodding to me, signaling that it was my turn to ask a question.
I thought for a minute. What did I want to know about Alex? Well, obviously I wanted to know how he felt about me, but I couldn’t just blurt that out there. I’d have to wait.
“Favorite sports team?”
“Ravens” he answered without batting an eyelash.
“Good, I can still be your friend.” I joked. Even if he didn’t, it wouldn’t matter, I didn’t care about sports anyway.
“Your turn.” I said.
He sat there for a moment, pondering what he should ask. Finally, he had decided on what question to shoot me next.
“What is your middle name?” He asked, one of his eyebrows going up in the air.
I groaned. My middle name was weird. It wasn’t Henry or Michael or something that everyone had.
“Bassam” I sighed out, wishing he hadn’t asked me that.
Instead of laughing, he smiled. “That’s so sick. Way to be different.”
I smiled, glad someone didn’t make fun of my middle name. Now it was my turn, and I had no idea what to ask him.
“What do your parents do?” I asked. I’d heard him mention his mom, but he’d never spoken a word of his father while I was around.
He seemed to have frozen at my question, finally swallowing and avoiding my eyes after a few seconds.
‘God dammit, Jack.’ I spat at myself ‘you ruin every fucking little thing.’
“My mom works as this computer worker person in a hospital. She controls all the really important files and stuff, and only her and like 3 other people know the password to all the stuff. It’s really cool. And my dad… well when I came out to my parents, I was 15, and he just didn’t accept it. He refused to look me in the eyes and called me scum and stupid and stuff like that. My mom kicked him out two weeks after I came out, and I haven’t seen him since.” He swallowed, finally looking up and making eye contact with me. I could see how much he was hurting, even though he was trying not to show it.
I quickly scrambled over to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder and letting him press his face against my neck. I did everything I had ever wanted someone to do to me when my father said things like that to me. I realized that Alex was the one who needed that comfort the most.
He didn’t cry, just laid there for a little while, not that I minded. It was nice to feel another body pressed to mine, and I dreaded the moment it finally came to an end.
Sadly, it was sooner rather than later that Alex pulled his head out from where it was settled and adjusted himself so he wasn’t touching me anymore.
His lack of presence affected me no more than two seconds after he’d moved. I started to feel cold and craved his tough more than anything else in the world.
“That’s why I don’t take peoples taunts so seriously. I mean, after your own father says stuff like that to you, nothing anyone else says can really hurt you, can it?” he whimpered out.
I didn’t know how to respond. I had lived my whole life in secret. I was the straight, funny, hot guy that all the girls wanted to sleep with, and I had felt sorry for myself, and then here is this poor guy who gets picked on and abandoned on a regular basis just for telling the truth. God, ignorance really is bliss.
“So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“I… what?” I asked, startled at the voice that had spoken.
“Well, we’re still playing the game, right?” Alex said, as if stopping the game was the worst thing you could do in this type of situation.
I burst out laughing, causing him to laugh a long with me. It was the perfect moment, us two laughing side by side, drinking beers I’d stolen from my dads refrigerator, and not worrying about tomorrow.
“A guitarist.” I finally responded after I was finally able to stop laughing.
“Interesting” Alex nodded.
“Interesting as in ‘that’s stupid, Barakat’ or as in ‘that actually sounds interesting’.” I asked
“That actually sounds interesting. I can imagine touring with a band. I like singing, that’d be fun.” Alex murmured. I knew he was heading off to his dream place. He’d done it at least 4 times just tonight.
“Who was your first kiss?” I blurted out before I even had I chance to think.
I cringed, waiting to hear him get upset at my question.
But Alex didn’t even blink.
“The guy you saw in the picture with me. Vic. He was my first boyfriend too. He goes to my old private school.” He said, picking at something under his nails.
“Oh.” I mumbled.
Suddenly, a surge of jealousy ripped through me. Jealousy and anger. This guy, Vic, had gotten to kiss Alex and hold his hand and had gotten to know him as he’d grown up. He got to see him every day and seen how fucking perfect he was, and he let him go. If Alex was single, then he didn’t fight for him, if Alex wasn’t, then Vic had him.
The two emotions battled in my chest as I tried to set my composer. I couldn’t let Alex know that I felt like this, that’d ruin everything.
“So, who do you like?” Alex said, his voice filled with longing curiosity.

Notes