I Knew You Were Trouble
Chapter 1
Being alone scares me.
Like being in an empty elevator alone. Trapped with
nothing but your thoughts and the hope that the elevator doesn't stall and you’re forced to use the emergency phone. That kind of alone. It makes me feel as though no one wants to be near me or get to know me. Even my father rather I went alone on this Tuesday outing. Should you call it that? Or instead meeting the brother I never knew I had. Being alone with your thoughts is never a good idea. You think about your life. Are you happy with it? Could you be happier? Could maybe have gotten an A on that Bio test instead of an A minus? It’s all too much to take in while waiting for an elevator to bring you to the 6th floor. By now I really wish I had taken the cold, damp, stairs. Too late. I finally escape the confines of the elevator and I feel as though I can breathe again. Maybe not. All in that quick moment from the step off the elevator to in front of the many doors running up and down the hallways. I finally realize. I’m meeting the mother and brother I had been separated from my whole life. Slowly I walk in the direction I’m supposed to be taking. I honestly don’t know why people try to decorate apartment building hallways. They are horridly hideous to begin with. There is absolutely no way to fix grass green carpet and sky blue walls. If only I could find another way to distract myself. I suddenly arrive in front of 38B. I rap lightly against the door. Not faintly quiet but loud enough to be heard on the inside. Loud music is coming from inside and it only lets me know two things. One: Some people party at 1 O’clock in the afternoon. Or Two: a teenage boy lives here. My best guess is option two as the door opens reviling a teenage boy my age with a bandana tied around his head right above his bushy eyebrows. "Hello" I nearly choke out. "I’m Elaina. My dad sent me here to meet you" I say trying to sound anything but nervous and failing completely. He looked at me quizzically for a moment before realizing what I said. "Right, right. I knew you were coming. Come in.” I take a step past him and admire the small yet perfect apartment. It’s small but spacious enough for two people who are barley there to begin with. Cute. “MOM” my brother I guess I should call him shouted in the tiny room. Soon out came a beautiful woman that I could only guess was my mother. She stopped in her tracks, gasped, covered her mouth with her hand looking about like she was going to cry as I stand emotionless not knowing what to do. “Elaina” she choked out before squeezing me into a death hug. I guess it would make sense that the woman who gave birth to me would have missed me all of these 17 years. Why my parents took a child each when they went their separate ways I do not know by surely will find out soon.
“Hi” I squeaked out with the little air left in my lungs as they were being crushed.”I want to hug her too” my brother said from behind me. My savior. My mom let go and stepped back letting my brother step in and give me a small hug. It was warm and welcoming instead of breathtaking. Literally.
After we let go of each other it was silent. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. “Elaina, would you like some tea?” my mother asked breaking the silence as she started preparing a cup of tea. “Yes, please”.
“So, um. It’s been a while. Yeah?” my brother said. I really need to know his name.
“What’s your name?”
“Alex
Mission accomplished.
“Our dad never spoke of my name?” Alex asked as I did a silent victory dance in my head. I shook my head no. I turned and looked at my mom who seemed to be busying herself on purpose as if to avoid something. Maybe coming here wasn’t the best idea. Or it was just it could have turned out better.”I guess he just avoided the questions I wanted answered” I said with a shrug. “Speaking of the devil” I muttered as I pulled out my phone and read a message sent from my father.
-How’s everything going?
_Fine
-Just fine?
_TTYL Dad
And that was the end of that. “So Elaina. What was your other school like?”
Where do I even begin?
It was HORRIBLE. Everyone was stuck up. You had to have this purse or these shoes in order to be somebody important. If you wore skinny jeans you were labeled a freak. When you style your hair differently and wear converse you’re a punk. If you look the slightest bit different from anyone else you were judged and no one knew the real you. If you didn’t go to parties you were lame. Just because you had glasses you were a loser. If you didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend you were forever alone. Judgment was everywhere and there was no way you could escape it. No possible way.
“It was okay” I passed it off easily. No one could possibly understand how pathetic that school was. Hopefully Baltimore is different from Chicago. “That’s good”. Not.
“What kind of music do you listen to?” Alex asked. That came out of nowhere. “Umm…Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, along those lines” I said caught off guard. I really did not see that coming.”We will definitely be getting along then” he said before walking away, phone in hand texting someone.
Mom and I sat and discussed why Dad and I moved back and why they split in the first place. It’s really difficult to get answer when you’re young and less likely to understand this stuff. Now it all makes sense.
Before mom had Alex and I our parents were perfect. Happy as can be. Good news, soon to be parents, it all was fine. Then Dad came home one night and wasn’t himself. Mom was 5 months pregnant and her hormones were raging as Dad stumbled in slightly drunk a little past 2 in the morning. The yelling match went into the mid morning and ended when Mom ordered Dad to get out. He did. He grabbed a suitcase and packed. His only argument was that he kept the child. Mom refused and pushed him out the door slamming it closed in his face. Later she found it was twins. Mom called his parents as she knew it was the only place he could go considering they shared a house, and announced the news. When Dad found out he promised he would be there for the birth and wanted one of us. Mom disagreed until the day before our eyes opened to the strange world. Only then did she decide one of us would stay with her. The next day baby Alex and Elaina were born. Mom choose Alex, dad choose me. After a week of taking care of us together and deciding names Dad started the slow journey that wasn’t expected when having a newborn in the backseat. Eventually we ended up in what I called home for the longest time. 17 years later and I am where and who I am today.
“Wow” was all I could say before I realized how late it was getting.”I should probably be getting home now” I said before grabbing my coat and slipping into my shoes.”You will come back won’t you Elaina?”Her voice sounded so sad that I couldn’t refuse.”Yes”. We shared our goodbyes and I made my way out the door.
As I turned on to my street I thought back to the story about why mom and dad split us up and how it would only be fair to share us and that it was a mutual decision. A mutual decision that split up their only son and daughter. I couldn’t stand to be in that situation. Only keeping one of my children. What if there was a third child? Then what? What if I was the third child and they decided I wasn’t good enough? I could be stuck in a foster home with screaming toddlers and angsty teenagers like myself. I would have gone mad. It was only after my thoughts of what if’s built up that I realized fire was coming out of my fists
What the hell?
Like being in an empty elevator alone. Trapped with
nothing but your thoughts and the hope that the elevator doesn't stall and you’re forced to use the emergency phone. That kind of alone. It makes me feel as though no one wants to be near me or get to know me. Even my father rather I went alone on this Tuesday outing. Should you call it that? Or instead meeting the brother I never knew I had. Being alone with your thoughts is never a good idea. You think about your life. Are you happy with it? Could you be happier? Could maybe have gotten an A on that Bio test instead of an A minus? It’s all too much to take in while waiting for an elevator to bring you to the 6th floor. By now I really wish I had taken the cold, damp, stairs. Too late. I finally escape the confines of the elevator and I feel as though I can breathe again. Maybe not. All in that quick moment from the step off the elevator to in front of the many doors running up and down the hallways. I finally realize. I’m meeting the mother and brother I had been separated from my whole life. Slowly I walk in the direction I’m supposed to be taking. I honestly don’t know why people try to decorate apartment building hallways. They are horridly hideous to begin with. There is absolutely no way to fix grass green carpet and sky blue walls. If only I could find another way to distract myself. I suddenly arrive in front of 38B. I rap lightly against the door. Not faintly quiet but loud enough to be heard on the inside. Loud music is coming from inside and it only lets me know two things. One: Some people party at 1 O’clock in the afternoon. Or Two: a teenage boy lives here. My best guess is option two as the door opens reviling a teenage boy my age with a bandana tied around his head right above his bushy eyebrows. "Hello" I nearly choke out. "I’m Elaina. My dad sent me here to meet you" I say trying to sound anything but nervous and failing completely. He looked at me quizzically for a moment before realizing what I said. "Right, right. I knew you were coming. Come in.” I take a step past him and admire the small yet perfect apartment. It’s small but spacious enough for two people who are barley there to begin with. Cute. “MOM” my brother I guess I should call him shouted in the tiny room. Soon out came a beautiful woman that I could only guess was my mother. She stopped in her tracks, gasped, covered her mouth with her hand looking about like she was going to cry as I stand emotionless not knowing what to do. “Elaina” she choked out before squeezing me into a death hug. I guess it would make sense that the woman who gave birth to me would have missed me all of these 17 years. Why my parents took a child each when they went their separate ways I do not know by surely will find out soon.
“Hi” I squeaked out with the little air left in my lungs as they were being crushed.”I want to hug her too” my brother said from behind me. My savior. My mom let go and stepped back letting my brother step in and give me a small hug. It was warm and welcoming instead of breathtaking. Literally.
After we let go of each other it was silent. You could hear a pin drop it was so quiet. “Elaina, would you like some tea?” my mother asked breaking the silence as she started preparing a cup of tea. “Yes, please”.
“So, um. It’s been a while. Yeah?” my brother said. I really need to know his name.
“What’s your name?”
“Alex
Mission accomplished.
“Our dad never spoke of my name?” Alex asked as I did a silent victory dance in my head. I shook my head no. I turned and looked at my mom who seemed to be busying herself on purpose as if to avoid something. Maybe coming here wasn’t the best idea. Or it was just it could have turned out better.”I guess he just avoided the questions I wanted answered” I said with a shrug. “Speaking of the devil” I muttered as I pulled out my phone and read a message sent from my father.
-How’s everything going?
_Fine
-Just fine?
_TTYL Dad
And that was the end of that. “So Elaina. What was your other school like?”
Where do I even begin?
It was HORRIBLE. Everyone was stuck up. You had to have this purse or these shoes in order to be somebody important. If you wore skinny jeans you were labeled a freak. When you style your hair differently and wear converse you’re a punk. If you look the slightest bit different from anyone else you were judged and no one knew the real you. If you didn’t go to parties you were lame. Just because you had glasses you were a loser. If you didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend you were forever alone. Judgment was everywhere and there was no way you could escape it. No possible way.
“It was okay” I passed it off easily. No one could possibly understand how pathetic that school was. Hopefully Baltimore is different from Chicago. “That’s good”. Not.
“What kind of music do you listen to?” Alex asked. That came out of nowhere. “Umm…Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, along those lines” I said caught off guard. I really did not see that coming.”We will definitely be getting along then” he said before walking away, phone in hand texting someone.
Mom and I sat and discussed why Dad and I moved back and why they split in the first place. It’s really difficult to get answer when you’re young and less likely to understand this stuff. Now it all makes sense.
Before mom had Alex and I our parents were perfect. Happy as can be. Good news, soon to be parents, it all was fine. Then Dad came home one night and wasn’t himself. Mom was 5 months pregnant and her hormones were raging as Dad stumbled in slightly drunk a little past 2 in the morning. The yelling match went into the mid morning and ended when Mom ordered Dad to get out. He did. He grabbed a suitcase and packed. His only argument was that he kept the child. Mom refused and pushed him out the door slamming it closed in his face. Later she found it was twins. Mom called his parents as she knew it was the only place he could go considering they shared a house, and announced the news. When Dad found out he promised he would be there for the birth and wanted one of us. Mom disagreed until the day before our eyes opened to the strange world. Only then did she decide one of us would stay with her. The next day baby Alex and Elaina were born. Mom choose Alex, dad choose me. After a week of taking care of us together and deciding names Dad started the slow journey that wasn’t expected when having a newborn in the backseat. Eventually we ended up in what I called home for the longest time. 17 years later and I am where and who I am today.
“Wow” was all I could say before I realized how late it was getting.”I should probably be getting home now” I said before grabbing my coat and slipping into my shoes.”You will come back won’t you Elaina?”Her voice sounded so sad that I couldn’t refuse.”Yes”. We shared our goodbyes and I made my way out the door.
As I turned on to my street I thought back to the story about why mom and dad split us up and how it would only be fair to share us and that it was a mutual decision. A mutual decision that split up their only son and daughter. I couldn’t stand to be in that situation. Only keeping one of my children. What if there was a third child? Then what? What if I was the third child and they decided I wasn’t good enough? I could be stuck in a foster home with screaming toddlers and angsty teenagers like myself. I would have gone mad. It was only after my thoughts of what if’s built up that I realized fire was coming out of my fists
What the hell?
Notes
Im not sure about this. Tell me if it's worth continuing :)This is her outfit http://www.polyvore.com/knew_you_were_trouble_my/set?id=71491486
4/4/13