Rian

‘Thanks,’ I said with a smile, reaching for Jack’s and my drinks. The barista flashed me a polite smile and turned away to take the order from the next people in the queue. I made my way to the closest table and the moment I sat down, the bell above the coffee shop door rang and Jack waltzed in, making a beeline for our table. He sat down opposite me with a serious expression and remained quiet, making my smile drop. ‘Well?’

Jack’s eyes snapped up to look into mine before his face broke into a grin and he let out a laugh. ‘They’ve liked all of my performances so far and told me if I keep this up, they’ll pay me to perform three nights a week,’ he explained, a spark in his eyes and his face unable to control the excitement.

‘If you keep me this stressed out, you might as well try looking for a new best friend because I’ll die of worry,’ I shook my head with an amused sigh but pushed Jack’s cup towards him with a fond smile. ‘That’s great news, buddy.’

‘I mean, they haven’t made a permanent decision yet but I got there expecting them to tell me to never show my face in there ever again, so it went better than expected. Way better,’ Jack said, taking a sip out from his cup.

‘Like they’d ever kick you out. You’re too talented, it would be their loss,’ I said, tasting my own coffee. ‘Dude, this coffee’s actually good. How did you find this place?’ I asked, surprised it didn’t taste as cheap as the place looked.

‘Just wandered in a couple of days ago. The guy serving me -’ he stopped abruptly, leaning to his right to check behind me. I turned my head but nothing seemed out of ordinary so I furrowed my brows. Jack smiled. ‘Sorry man, was just checking if he wasn’t here. Anyway, there was this guy with this odd skull tattoo on his neck, right? It wasn’t amazing but it was sort of adorable. I swear I had seen it before,’ he told me.

‘Did you talk to him?’ I asked, my lips forming a smirk.

‘Nah, my father decided to ruin the day by telling me I had to go over to theirs for dinner to see my mum because otherwise he’d get my other credit card cancelled. He didn’t even say ‘us’, he said ‘your mother’. We might hate one another but he could at least pretend he wants to see me every now and then,’ Jack sighed, rubbing his palms over his face. ‘Sorry, irrelevant. But no, I didn’t talk to him. He looked a little gloomy too so I guess it wasn’t the best day for either of us,’ he shrugged, leaning back on the chair.

‘Ask him out before my surprise birthday party,’ I said with a laugh and Jack rolled his eyes.

‘Not interested. Also, the whole idea behind a surprise party is that you don’t know about it,’ Jack said, a smile finding its way back onto his face.

‘Tough luck, bro. Josh talks too much, blame it all on him,’ I smiled back.

-

When I woke up, I was surprised to find that my hands were draped around the girl from the previous night. With a smile on my face I realized she was still sleeping so I closed my eyes, drifting back to my own dreams for a little longer.

The next time I woke up, I was greeted by something even more surprising. Cass was still lying next to me but this time she was awake and scrolling through something on her phone. When she felt me move, she looked over and with a smile pressed her lips against mine. ‘Good morning,’ she chirped and my heart fluttered.

‘Morning. Breakfast?’ I asked, hesitant. Most girls that came home with me would leave before I woke up, or the moment I’d open my eyes, so I wasn’t sure how I was meant to go about this.

‘Yes, sure!’ Cass replied, still smiling as she reached over the bed to grab her flannel shirt and leggings. I got out of the bed, pulling my jeans on. As I headed for the door, Cass grabbed my hand, making me smile even wider.

Once I had finished making waffles and set three plates down on the table, I made Cass and Jack coffees before pouring myself some water, pretending to be unaware of her eyes staring at my shirtless back. ‘Jack,’ I called out, sitting down next to Cass with a smile.

‘So, do the two of you rent the house?’ Cass asked, cutting up her food and taking a bite.

‘Uh, no. We actually own it. Well, technically Jack bought it, but he made me sign the contract so it’s on my name,’ I told her.

‘That’s so sweet! How long have you been living together?’ she asked.

‘Nearly five years now,’ I admitted and she broke into a smile.

‘You’re practically married!’ she squealed and I choked on the piece I was chewing. ‘Kidding, kidding, I just think it’s awesome that you haven’t annoyed one another to the point of a breakdown yet! I would,’ she giggled.

‘I guess,’ I admitted with the same wide smile that had been gracing my lips all morning before I realized I hadn’t heard any movement from upstairs yet. ‘On that note, excuse me, I’ve got to wake that alcoholic up,’ I said as I got up, walking past my room and grabbing my shirt before going up the stairs to Jack’s room.

As soon as I saw that his doors were wide open I couldn’t help the unsettling feeling that washed over me. I knew he wouldn’t be in his room and once I looked in, my thoughts were confirmed. He had told me he’d be walking home after another drink, so where had he gone to?

I made my way downstairs and Cass looked up with shiny eyes so I returned her smile before reaching for my phone. I had no messages from Jack so I dialled his number, pressing the phone against my ear. It was silent for a while before a female’s voice came through, ‘The mobile number you have called is currently unavailable.’ I frowned at my phone and Cass seemed to catch up because she tilted her head and asked me what was wrong.

‘Just, uh, Jack. He doesn’t usually switch his phone off. It must’ve died,’ I said, still frowning.

-

The more time passed, the more worried I got. It was now Sunday afternoon and I still hadn’t heard back from Jack. Cass had offered me to go to hers but I didn’t want to leave the house in case Jack came back, so she went home to get her laptop and charger before returning to keep me company. I appreciated her staying with me because without her presence I would’ve gone mad already.

I tried to trick myself into thinking that Jack would probably show up soon but as minutes passed in silence, I knew something was wrong. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I called all of our mutual friends. Josh and Tyler decided to come over to keep me calm and go with me to the police station if it was necessary. Cass and the boys tried to figure out where exactly Jack could’ve gone to while I stared at the door, just hoping I’d see it open.

With a sigh, I realized that I only really had one more choice. I entered Bassam’s number into my phone and pressed the call button, anxiously waiting for Jack’s father to pick up.

‘Hello, Bassam Barakat speaking,’ his cold voice rang through the phone.

‘Um, hello Mr Barakat, it’s Rian calling,’ I said, playing with the hem of my shirt.

‘Rian?’ he asked and I rolled my eyes because of course he wouldn’t recognize his son’s best friend.

‘Rian Dawson, Jack’s friend? I was just wondering if you had seen him at all since Friday?’ I asked, heart beating faster in the hope of hearing a yes.

‘No,’ he replied curtly, still in the same cold tone and my heart shattered.

‘You see, Mr Barakat, I think Jack’s missing. His phone is off and no one’s seen or heard from him,’ I explained in the phone.

‘He’s fine. Knowing Jack he’s most likely in a random stranger’s bed right now,’ Bassam’s voice said, sounding uninterested before the line went dead.

Knowing Jack? He didn’t know anything about his son. I had to take a deep breath so that I wouldn’t punch the wall in anger. Josh looked at me, worry in his eyes and I sighed. ‘We need to go over to his parents and get Joyce,’ I muttered and Josh nodded, immediately getting up.

-

‘He’s missing!?’ Joyce exclaimed, her eyes widening and face going pale.

‘I’m sorry, Joyce, I’ve tried everything. His phone is off and none of our friends know where he is. We tried tracking his phone but we found nothing. We checked the bar but the owner said Jack had left an hour after me. No one else has seen him,’ I explained, my chest aching as I told her the news.

‘We have to call the police now!’ Jack’s mum said, leaping from the sofa and reaching for her phone immediately. ‘Bassam, come here!’ she shouted.

Seconds later the figure of Jack’s father came through the door and the moment his eyes met mine, his face seemed to change into annoyance. ‘What do you want?’ he asked me but Joyce had already walked over to him, holding her phone out for him.

‘Jack’s been missing since Saturday morning, his friends haven’t been able to find him! We have to call the police!’ she rushed out and I could see Bassam throw me a cold look.

‘Honey, I’m sure Jack’s alright. You know him, he’s one for…wandering around,’ he said and the way he grimaced made me want to break his nose. However, it seemed I wasn’t the only person done with his attitude.

‘I don’t care what you think Jack’s doing, if Rian says they haven’t been able to contact my boy for days then I want to know what’s wrong!’ Joyce exclaimed and Bassam paled. Under Joyce’s angry gaze he had no choice but to reach for the phone and with a defeated sigh he dialled the police.

I couldn’t even feel satisfied because the whole situation was making me sick.

-

I woke with a yawn, hands wrapped around Cass’ small figure. I blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to the dim light. It was still early morning, and it was my birthday. I wasn’t excited.

After having a breakdown in front of Josh about all of the guilt I had been holding inside of me about leaving Jack on his own we had decided to postpone my birthday party to when Jack returned. I had almost said if but Josh gave me this look and I choked on the word before it left my mouth.

I reached for the phone to check the time and almost immediately my heart skipped a beat. I had a missed call from an unknown number. I quickly untangled myself from Cass’ sleeping form and unlocked my phone, going into my voice messages. With anxiety building up, I pressed play and waited for the message to start.

‘Uh. Hey, bud.’

My heart started beating frantically. Hearing Jack’s voice instantly woke me up and in a second I was out of the bed, reaching for my clothes.

‘Um. Happy Birthday. I… Well, I guess you know I’m in a bit of trouble at the moment. I totally blame this on you taking my car by the way,’ he laughed a little and guilt washed over me again.

‘Nah, I don’t. All my fault. Anyway. I was allowed to record this to tell you I’m fine and still very much alive. Things could be better and sleeping on the floor fucking sucks but I haven’t lost any of my limbs yet so that’s great. I think I might actually survive this,’ he said quietly. I reached over and shook Cass’ shoulder. She opened her eyes slowly and looked over at me, then at the phone. The moment she realized what was happening, she was up as well, throwing her clothes on.

‘Um. I hope the date went well. If it didn’t, sorry I wasn’t there with my great counselling skills the morning after. Got caught up. Thanks for pressuring my father into acknowledging I’m actually, well, taken. I know he wouldn’t be on the news if it wasn’t for you. So, yeah, uh, I think that’s all I can really give you right now. I love you, bro. Hope you have a great birthday and don’t worry about me for a while. Enjoy the time you have off. See you,’ he finished and I felt like throwing up. Cass took my hand and gave me a quick hug before we made our way out of the house and to the police station. Despite the message having no specific details, I had been asked to inform them in case something came up so that was exactly what I was going to do.

-

The weekend passed at an almost painfully slow pace. I didn’t let my phone out of my sight in the hopes of getting another message from Jack. The police, while trying to be helpful, had found nothing and I couldn’t help but feel angry because they were meant to be the professionals. How come they couldn’t find anything on where my friend could be, even after a week had passed?

Josh saw my mental state getting worse so together with Cass they printed out some missing person flyers, using the picture I had taken of Jack strumming his guitar in our living room. When Monday came, Cass practically dragged me out of the house, telling me Josh would call if Jack suddenly showed up so I needn’t worry. While annoyed, I knew she was right and there was no point in me sitting in the house drowning in guilt when I could be out, doing as much as I could to try and find Jack.

We made a list of places to go to, places I knew Jack visited every now and then, and then were on our way. We started off in the pub that Jack played his gigs at but the owner seemed just as clueless as us, only aware of the situation because of what had been shown on the TV. After that, we stopped at a grocery shop, a Starbucks, went through the small park not too far from our house and after around three hours of walking around, we had handed out flyers to pretty much everyone we had met while walking around Fell’s Point.

We were walking down Thames Street when I looked up and saw the café that Jack and I had been to a few times in the past month. We had fifteen flyers left so with a shrug, I tugged at Cass’ hand and pulled her inside the coffee shop. Like most Monday afternoons the place was swarming with people yet thankfully most of them were already sat by their tables. There were two guys behind the counter, one that I had seen before and the other one someone new. He was still writing something on the cup when I cleared my throat and he automatically asked me what he could get for me.

‘Uh, um, actually I was wondering if you could put some of those flyers up?’ I asked, scratching the back of my head.

The guy’s head snapped up and hazel eyes looked into mine. He furrowed his brows and looked at the flyers in my hand. ‘No,’ he replied with a shrug and went back to writing something in his notebook.

‘Excuse me?’ I asked, shocked at the dismissal. No one had refused me yet and I definitely hadn’t expected this – Alex, as his nametag read – guy to be the first one to do so.

‘We’re a coffee shop, not a police station. Are you ordering anything because if not then please step aside,’ he said nonchalantly.

‘Yes, can I get a large cappuccino to go, and a ‘why are you such a jerk’ would be nice, too,’ Cass butted in with a casual smile and I had never wanted to kiss her as much as that exact moment. The guy frowned and was about to say something when the other guy behind the counter slipped in front of him.

‘Alex, make that cappuccino. Can I help you?’ he – Zack, apparently – asked me politely after pushing Alex away.

‘Yeah, just…We’ve got a couple of flyers we’ve been trying to hand out all morning and I was just wondering if you could put some of them up in here?’ I explained again.

From behind Zack I could hear Alex huff yet Zack smiled and nodded, ‘Sure.’ I handed him all of the flyers I had left and he examined them before looking up at me, ‘I’ll put one up by the door in a second and hand the rest of them out later, alright? Hope you find your friend,’ he smiled.

I heard Alex mutter a ‘that’s what the police is for’ but managed to force a smile as well. ‘So do I. At least I know he’s alive, I just have to find him now,’ I told Zack and after Cass got her coffee, we turned to leave. A few steps away from the counter I heard Cass say something but when I turned to look, I saw her behind me with a smile. I sighed and squeezed her hand as we left the coffee shop.

-

It was Wednesday afternoon when I got a call from Joyce. I picked it up immediately, Cass and Josh going quiet the second they realized it was serious.

‘He what? Oh my God,’ I shouted into the phone, trying to take a deep breath to calm down. ‘We’ll be over in twenty,’ I said before hanging up. Cass looked at me expectantly but I just shook my head. ‘We need to go to the Barakats. Now.’

Fifteen minutes later we pulled up outside their house and in moments I was at their door, knocking loudly. To my surprise it was actually Bassam who opened the door so in seconds I had him by his collar and pressed against the wall.

‘Rian!’ I heard Joyce and Cass exclaim at the same time but I didn’t let go.

‘I’ve always known you don’t care about Jack but ignoring a ransom letter? That’s low. That’s fucking messed up. If he dies, you’ll be responsible for his death,’ I snarled before letting go. I turned away immediately and marched into the living room where Joyce stood, still shocked at my outburst. ‘Where’s the photo?’ I asked immediately and she pointed at the table by the sofa. I stalked over to it and picked it up with trembling hands.

I almost wished I hadn’t. A wave of nausea hit me and I choked out a quiet sob. The photo showed Jack lying on the floor with a small pool of blood right by his head. His hair was messy and sticking in all directions, his cheeks pale and thinner than I remembered and there were some cuts on his face that had already healed a little. There was no question - he was definitely unconscious in the photo and with the amount of blood behind his head I knew that the blow had been hard.

I thought back to the voice message he had left me and the pain in my chest became unbearable. I had been so immersed in the idea that Jack was alive that I forgot to fear the fact that his life could be taken away any moment his captors – kidnappers, I guessed – decided to hurt him. I was disgusted by the fact that Bassam had just decided to ignore the first ransom letter he had received; perhaps if we had acknowledged it on media, Jack’s captors wouldn’t have hurt him to prove their point to us. My head felt fuzzy and I sat on the sofa, staring at the photo. He looked so broken.

I was subconsciously aware of Cass asking Joyce to call the police and walking over to me. Josh followed her and I knew he had seen the photo the moment I heard a sharp inhale. I looked over at him and his eyes were already teary but he quickly swallowed the sob that was about to leave his mouth and instead sat down next to me and Cass. At that moment every single person in the room was quiet, unable to process what had happened.

Notes

...i actually take the blame. i sent ilovetea a link to wicked, a muse fic, and it ruined her life. oops, whatever.

hope you enjoyed this little chapter from ri's pov. now let's hope ilovetea doesn't stare at howard's butt for another month before posting the next chapter (she probably will). (but i can't blame her). (i'll be here staring at pictures of kennedy brock).

oh and ilovetea: 'he had told me he’d be walking home after another drink, so where had he gone to?' - yeah...hes with that guy you wanted him to ask out. just under different circumstances. i died.

guilty x