Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

The next few weeks continued like that. I was taking sleeping pills every night, unable to sleep otherwise, my guilt clawing away at me. Alex didn't know and I had no intentions of telling him.

Our relationship was still a secret and Alex spent more time with his friends. He had his first therapy session booked, although he began to seem a little bit happier, I caught him purging a couple of times but he hadn't cut again since the last time. He got beat up only once more and I decided to finally get round to speaking to rian about it.

{Alex POV} The next few weeks were quite odd. Jack was taking sleeping pills every night and thought I didn't know. I guessed whatever the reason was he was taking them, he'd tell me in his own time, when he was ready. Our relationship was still a secret and I got a lot closer with my friends. We were suddenly texting all the time and, one weekend, we all went to the cinema together to see a new film that was out (my grandmas treat).

As weeks went by, jack was acting weirder and weirder and, from the things he was saying in his sleep, he was guilty about something, but, like the sleeping pills, I figured he'd tell me when he was ready. I got a proper routine worked out, spending two nights at Jack's house and two nights at my grandmas house. She knew I had a boyfriend and said she'd love to meet him but I wasn't ready to tell her he was my teacher.

I purged a lot more. I managed to stop doing it as much when jack and I had first started dating but now I could see it was taking it's toll on me so I started again. Jack caught me a couple of times but he didn't know I was doing it most nights again, he thought it was just an occasional thing. I did manage to stay clean and not relapse with my cutting though and I was determined not to break my record this time.

I had my first therapy session booked for about a months time and I was the happiest I'd been in ages, despite getting beaten up badly again and getting shoved around and randomly kicked or punched everyday.

For the first time in what felt like forever, I had hope. It finally seemed like everything was going to be okay.

Notes

hey guys! I did try and update last night like I said I was going to but the site crashed on my phone and wouldn't open at all. it seems to be okay now though!:)



hope you enjoy this!:D