She Works For The Weekend

I couldn’t help but pace around my bedroom, biting at my fingernails nervously. It was 5 o’clock in the morning, and I was only conscious due to the anxious thoughts that had awoken me. Sunlight was barely peeking through the curtains of my dingy hotel room as my feet dragged across the patterned carpet. In just over 12 hours, my life was going to change for good, but anxiety disorder decided to spin into something negative.
“Come on, Jaynie,” I thought to myself. “Get yourself together. Stop stressing.”
I had an outfit laid out on the floor and a backstage pass laminate sitting on the bathroom counter, mocking me with it’s shiny plastic surface. Tonight, I was set to see my favorite band, All Time Low, in concert for the first time, and even meet them. The four men that made up the band were my heroes. They helped me deal with my anxiety, escape from life when it got bad, and dance when I was happy. Needless to say, their music had been there with me through it all for almost 2 years now.
I picked up the laminate, feeling the smooth material underneath my fingers. I was holding the ticket to everything I’d hoped for. I had flown thousands of miles away from my stupid small town just to get here, and now I was having second thoughts. This all had to be too good to be true.
“It’s going to go wrong. You’re just going to fuck it up somehow,” the evil voice in my head said.
With a sigh, I put it down and decided to take a shower, not wanting to smell like gym bag when meeting my idols. I relaxed a little as the warm water cascaded over me, but I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling my stomach. Why couldn’t I stop freaking and just be excited, like I should’ve been?
After getting cleaned, I quickly got dressed and left hotel room, my cabin fever becoming unbearable. I decided to wander around LA for a bit before I had to head to the concert venue. I grabbed my iPod, putting on Hold On Till May by Pierce the Veil. I loved that band too, and luckily one of the opening acts. “Darling you’ll be okay,” I sung to myself.
Distracted by the scenery of the unfamiliar state, I finally calmed down as I took pictures. Soon, my phone sounded an alarm that indicated I had to go back to the hotel and get ready for the concert. I promised myself it would turn out okay, but I couldn’t convince myself. In all seriousness though, what could go wrong? Wasn’t this uneasiness just due to my anxiety?

Notes