"Sure, Jacky. It'll be easier that way." I said staring at my feet. He picked my head up by the chin, making me look at him. I'm not a cryer, so the tears won't fall but I wish they would. "Hey..." I smiled at him. "Hi." I said back. "I-I have to get going, Jacky..." His smile faded a little. He took a step back. "Yeah, of course. You wouldn't wanna be late." He didn't look back up.

We stood there for another minute. Jack say something, make me stay. I wanna stay with you... I think I love you- No I know I love you. Don't let me leave, Jack. He cleared his throat. "Well... I'll come visit or something..." He said. I smiled but I'm sure he knew it was fake. "Okay." I walked over to the driver side of my car.

"Paige?" I turned to face him. "Yes?" He stared down at his feet, he's wearing my favorite pair of Converse he owns. "I... I just" He looked up at me and let out a sigh and smiled. "Just have fun and know that- that I wish you lots of luck..." I stepped closer and he pulled me into a hug. I rested my head on his chest and shoulder while my arms wrapped around his neck. "I'm gonna miss my goofball." I said.

He chuckled and we pulled away. Jack, it's your last chance SAY SOMETHING. I begged in my mind. "Have an amazing time." He smiled but it seemed forced. "Yeah, you too mr.big time rockstar." I pushed his shoulder and got into my car. I closed the door and started my car. His hands were stuffed in the pockets. I smiled and waved and pulled out of my drive way.

I got out of the drive way and started to drive slowly away. "Paige!" I stopped my car and looked out my back window to see Jack running down. I opened my door and got out. He reached me and pulled me into another hug. "I needed to stop you while I could, I'm gonna miss you so much." He said before pushing his lips against mine again. I let my right hand cup his slightly scruffy jaw.

His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his body. I'm gonna miss this. Him touching me and me touching him. It was unfair to make me do something I didn't want to. Jack pulled away only to rest our foreheads against one anothers. "Yep, I'm gonna miss you." He said. I bit my lip knowing that if I said anything it would come out 'I wanna stay, let me come with you, I love you.' But I stayed quiet and nodded.

He kissed my forehead and I sighed. "Bye, Jack." I finally broke our silence. He stepped away. I kissed his cheek and got in my car. I started to drive, looking out my back window as the boy I loved got smaller in my rear view. I put my attention on my driving but couldn't help but let out all the emotions I've been holding onto. My vision is cloudy and my shirt soaked from the tears but you know what maybe this tells me what I needed to her: Maybe Jack doesn't feel the same way about me.

"Mam, we've reached the Airport." I open my eyes and stare at the woman who just woke me up from my dream, not really a dream actually but a memory. "Yeah, sorry." I said starting to rise from my seat. "That's fine mam." She said and turned to walk down the isle. I grabbed my bag from the over hang and headed off the plane. I smiled as I walked off the plane, cause maybe this trip as sad as it is, I'm glad to be coming back to Baltimore.

Stepping into the airport I head to the conveyor belt to look for my suit case. I stand at one end of the belt and stare at the moving metal willing my bag to hurry up. I fix the grey beanie atop my head and readjust the burgundy cardigan on my body. I'm wearing a Jack Daniels tank top, with my favorite black vans. I look back over my shoulder and sure enough my bag passed me and is going down the belt.

I go off towards my bag passing people while politely giving 'Excuse me, and Pardon me' as I pass them. I get so close to my bag as someone picks it up. "Hey, that's..." I stop and stare as he hands met the handle of my suit case. "Thanks." I said staring at Alex. Please don't remember me, please don't. I couldn't handle this in the middle of the air port. "Welcome." He said. "Alex, grab your bag and let's go!" Rian yelled.

I turned around and went off towards the front doors. Immediately when I exited the building two arms wrapped my body. "Hey, honey." My step father, Jon said squeezing me into his hug harder. "Hey, señor." I said. He laughed and let go of me but kept a hold on my shoulders. "Gosh, you look so grown up." I laughed and looked at him. "You too, finally." He laughed and pulled the suit case out of my hand, throwing it into the back seat.

I slid in the passenger seat as he got in and started the car back up. "So, hows it been since I left?" I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot. "Hard but I'm glad you're here." He said. I looked over at him seeing his facial expressions change. I pushed my left hand to his and took hold. "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't been here. I'm her daughter and I should have, I'm just sorry I left it for you to deal with."

"Paige, all that matters is that you're here now." He said. I smiled as he let go of my hand and wiped his eyes. I looked out the window for the remainder of the ride, watching the memories fly by me as we passed places that were important to me. For example, closer to my once home there's a park. That park is where I snuck out of my house for the first time to see a boy I wasn't supposed to be talking to let alone sneeking out for.

Or the pizza place next to the park that the guys and I would hang out at after school, that's also where I had my first kiss. I smiled against the window and realized the car had stopped. "We can get your bag out later, come on in." Jon said. I got out of the car stepping towards the house I once called home. The front swing still looking riggity as ever, but that was part of the danger of heated make out sessions on it, it was dangerous.

He opened the door and I followed behind closing the door. Stepping into the living room it looked the same as if I never left. The smell hit me and it made me miss this house. I wish I wasn't here to say good bye to my mother, I wish I could fix this. But I wasn't the one who fucked this up, she was. I wasn't the easiest though and I know that. "Paige, she's been doing really bad and I know you don't want to hear this but when I told her I called you she looked happy and that's a look I hadn't seen on your mother's face in a long time."

He sighed and sat down on the couch looking at his hands. "I'm pretty sure she only held off this long to say good bye to her only daughter." He looked up at me rubbing his hands along his pants. "I think she's finally understanding that she messed up, and that her stubborn ways cost her one of the most important things in her life." I sat in the arm chair next to the couch soaking in this new information. "I didn't know she was that bad..." I trailed off actually feeling guilty.

"She's not gonna make it much longer and as bad as this sounds... I'm ready for her to be gone. I love her and always will but she's no longer the woman I married and it's not fair to keep her here as someone else, dopped up on drugs and frail. I mean I can't even touch her." He said standing up. "She's in the guest room down stairs." He said semi coldly. He was disgusted with himself I'm sure but Jon was never one to talk about his feelings so that shows this experience has gotten to him on an emotional level.

I nodded as he nodded back and turned away heading up the stairs. I stood up slowly preparing myself for the sight I would see as I entered the bedroom at the end of the hall way. I got closer preparing myself. She wont have hair, she'll look smaller and not as strong as she once was, she probably wont be able to talk very much. I gulp thinking of the strongest woman I know being so weak against her own will, it's not fair. I get to the end and lightly tap on the door frame and step in.

She looks at me and a smile tugs at her lips as she attempts to sit up. I rush over keeping her in her place, which doesn't take much. "Mom, stay." I said in a stern tone. She just continues to smile. "I love y-you, Paige. I know i-I haven't told you in s-such a long time. I-I'm a terrible parent, you deserved better." She said stuttering occasionally. I took her hand in mine, being extremely careful. "Mom, I forgive you and I love you too." Sure she didn't say sorry but that's close enough for me.

I stared at this woman in front of me, she's changed and I hate that. Nothing else has changed but her, she's unrecognizable. "I love you and I wish I had done everything different." She says in a whisper. I smile and a tear rolls down my cheek. I squeeze her hand a little tighter. "I love you too, mom." She smiles and turns her head to look at the ceiling. "Let's give your mom time for a nap ok?" Jon said leaning against the door frame.

I let go of her hand. "Yeah,ok. Mom, I'll be here when you wake up, alright? Love you." I leave that room and hadn't realized I'd been standing in there for almost an hour. "I'm gonna get my bag." I say opening the front door. Jon tosses me the car keys and I head out. I stroll up to the car and open the door pulling out my bag purse thing and my suit case. I stand it up just as my phone starts singing at me.

Me: What up, woman?
Alana: Nothing, I actually just landed so it would be great if you came and got me.
Me: *I smile knowing she's standing in the middle of the air port suit case next to her and phone pushed up to her ear with one hand on her hip* Sure thing, babe. Give me like 10 minutes.
Alana: You better hurry, some guy is trying to get me to give him my number and I don't do lanky.
Me: *I laugh leaned up against the car.* Alright, heading out.

I hung up and picked my suit case back up throwing it back in the car. I already have the keys so I might as well just leave. I shut the door and turn to go to the driver side when I bump into someone. "Holy shit." I said as I backed up against the car catching my breath. "Sorry, I just... I didn't think it was you at first but hearing you talk on the phone gave it away. It's you, Paige." I smiled and stepped closer pulling Matt into a hug. "Matty! Gosh I missed you."

I said as he chuckled. "Yeah, you too." He said. We pulled away looking at each other. "You look good, Paige." I smiled and pushed his shoulder. "You, too Flyzik." He smiled. "Alright, I know for certain the guys will want to see you, so do you wanna come over to Alex's place tomorrow night? That's where we're all meeting." I ran my hand over my neck. "I don't know Matty, it's been a long time." I said unsure of how I might handle it.

"Come on, please?" He asked flashing me the cute smile he knew I could never resist. "Ok, BUT don't tell anyone I'm coming and I'm bringing a friend." "Alright, sounds good. Oh, I will come by and get you tomorrow I guess considering you don't know where Alex lives..." "Sure, I guess." I say and smile. Matt smiles largely and steps back, heading to the side walk. "Cool, see you tomorrow then." I wave and head off to the driver side.

I slide in and start the car. I love with Alana back in Georgia, we're room mates. She's my only true friend left, I met her after I transferred colleges. We fit nicely, she is my first real girl friend, not that way though. I'm about 2 minutes from the air port and I stare at the buildings as I pass. I missed Baltimore. I pull up to the front and park. I step in the building instantly seeing my best friend. "Hoe!" I yell. She turns around and smiles.

She runs off towards me, wrapping me in her arms. I hug back and laugh. "Don't worry, I missed you too." I say. She laughs and pulls away. "Well, I haven't seen you in 2 weeks." She said. I grab her bag and walk outside. She follows behind me and we make it out to the car. "So, hows the fam?" I ask throwing her bag in the car. "Fine, my sister's still a pain in the ass." I ggile and slide into the driver's seat.

"And you? How's your mom?" She asks. I've told Alana everything so she knows. "She's a lot worse than I thought, she's not gonna make it much longer and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet so don't ask." I say pointing a finger at her. She raises her hands in defeat. "Alright." She says. I laugh to cover up the tears trying to escape and continue down the road. About 3-4 minutes from the house she speaks up.

"So Baltimore, what goes on here?" She asks. "Well, I did get us invited to a gathering tomorrow." I said. She turns to me and smacks my arm. "Paige Elizabeth, you did not?" She's totally kidding but the way she said it makes me laugh. "No seriously, just some old friends of mine." Just as I finish we hear sirens. I pull over to let them pass on and after an ambulance and 2 cop cars go by I pull back on. "So these 'Friends' are they single?" She asks. I laugh, typical Alana.

"I don't know I haven't talked to them in forever." I said pulling into the neighborhood. Somethings off. I stare ahead of me as a couple people walk down the side walks, hurriedly. I get closer and realize they're running to my house, my house. The one with 2 cop cars and an ambulance outside. The siren no longer going off. I pull up and immediately jump out running towards the house. I get stopped by one of the officers. "What happened?!" I ask quickly.

"Mam, back up." "That's my house!" I yell back. "What happened?!" I yell again. "Mam-" He warns but I push him to the ground and go towards the front door and that's when I see the EMTs' leaving the house with someone on a gurney, with a sheet covering them. I went faster until I saw Jon following behind it. I stop dead in my tracks. Everything goes silent, I hear nothing. I didn't know I was falling until my knees hit the floor.

The sudden contact took the air from my lungs. One hand goes to the floor to hold up my heaving body. I feel like I'm gonna throw up. My heart gets ripped out of my chest. I grip the grass and clench the shirt, at my stomach. I shut my eyes and yell through clenched teeth. Incoherent things come out of my mouth. I didn't hear anything until my body got pulled into another one and I gripped at their shirt, listening to my best friends voice.

"Paige, it's ok." She coo'ed into my ear, brushing my hair down with her hand. Rubbing circles on my back trying to calm me down. "I-I just got her back, my mom, MY mom." I say letting my tears flow. Then I realized I was crying, I got angry. I sat up from Alana and got to my knees pulling myself up. I rip off my cardigan and throw it to the ground. "You Bitch! You Fucking Bitch! I forgave you, just so you could leave me?! Well you're unforgiven!" I yell. My knees still weak I fall again.

this time I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them attempting to comfort myself. Hot, Angry tears roll down my face. "Mam-" A paramedic says walking towards me. "Please go." I whisper. "Ms.-" An officer next to him starts. "I do-don't fucking-g care what you do with the body, j-just get IT out of here!" I yell standing up. Alana gets to my side and pulls me toward the front door of my house. We make it and I turn around to see a small crowd around my house but on the street, they witnessed both my out bursts.

I sigh, just like old times. Alana pulls me into the house. Jon wasn't mad or sad he became indifferent about the situation. We go in the house and Alana lets go of me. I wipe my face and suck in a heavy gust of air through my nose. "Paige-" Alana says. "I'm fine." I said sweetly and calmly. "Once everyone leaves we can get our bags." I said to her sitting on my couch. "Yeah." She said. She's seen me like this before.

I get upset and cry then angry cause I'm crying then I bottle up my emotions and seem fine. I pull my knees together and place my elbows atop them with my head in my hands, breathing heavily threw my nose. I count to 100 and look up. I walk over to the window and pull the curtain to see outside, everyone's gone. I walk to the front door and open it taking a step outside.

I jog down the steps and to the car. I pull our bags out and stand them up in our drive way. "Paige." I ignore Alana, who's standing behind me. "Paige." She says again. "Paige." She says sterner grabbing my shoulder and whipping me around to face her. I fall into her arms. "She said she loved me and I forgave her and then she left me. It's not fair, I-I wasn't ready." I said plainly. Alana sighed and pulled my head up to look at her.

"We'll get through this alright. I'm here for you." I nod. She grabs her bag and we roll them into the house. We walk in and I kick off my shoes on the mat. I pick my bag up and take it to the guest room up stairs. Alana follows. "Sorry, we have to share this one cause they had my mom set up down stairs." I say as she follows me into my old room. It hasn't changed one bit. White walls, brown dresser, queen bed. Nothings changed.

Setting my bag down I pull out some Pajama shorts. I pull off my jeans and slip those on. Alana does the same but with pants and I crawl in to the covers after removing my bra. Yet again she does the same. I scoot closer to my best friend and she pulls me into a hug. I don't like to cuddle like ever but right now I need it and she doesn't mind. "I'm so glad you're here." I say. "I'm glad you want me here." She said.

I snuggle closer into her body and lay my head on her chest. I can listen to her heart beat. Sure Alana and I may seem like more than friends some times but truthfully she just my friend. I love her sure but not like that. She's always been there for me and I've always been there for her. Two people who had no one found each other and suddenly they found out they could be lonely together. And that's why she's my best friend.

After losing the guys after I moved I realized I relied on them too much and I cut myself from everyone, so hopefully tomorrow will go good considering we've all changed. Me more so then them I think. To be honest the only one I'm worried about is Jack, what will I do when I see him? I'll probably punch him or something. But that will have to wait till tomorrow.

Notes

Comment please....yeah so this isn't the greatest chapter ever but I promise it will get better... thanks! :P Loves

Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/please_say_something/set?id=108625461