You and I Were Born to Die

I sit at my stool with the sheet wrapped around me. I stare at the canvas, wondering what could be stopping me now that never had before. I stretch, letting the sheet slip around my bare waist. I absentmindedly run the stiff brush along my arm, the dried paint scratching me.

“Come back to bed.” I turn and see John, sheets covering him from hips down.

I smile. I hate him sometimes, but I love him just as much. “I need to do this.”

His hopeful eyes gleam back at me. “When something truly inspires you, you’ll finish it.” I press my lips together and climb back in bed with him.

***

That night, I sit with my legs crossed upon a barstool. John and his band are backstage, preparing for the show. I was always careful to give him space before a gig. I never wanted to be that girl.

“Olivia”, I turn and see Alex.

“Hey, Rockstar. Good job.”

“You know my name is Alex, right?”

I smile apologetically. He laughs.

“Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?” I offer.

“Sure.”

I raise my eyebrows, slightly surprised he agreed, but pleased. I order two whiskey shots. When they come, we clink our glasses together and wince as we swallow them back.

“How long have you been with John?”

“A while.” I gesture to the bartender to bring two more.

“He’s a good guy.”

I cock my head, wondering where he’s going with this, “Yeah.”

“When’s the wedding?”

The bartender sets the shots down. I take mine without Alex. He quickly grabs his, wanting to keep up.

“We haven’t set a date...why?”

“Just making conversation, Mrs. O'Callaghan.”

I widen my eyes and take a breath.

“What was that?” He asks, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes.

I shake it off and nod “I just haven’t thought of it like that.”

“...You do know that when someone gets down on a knee and you take a ring from them, that means you’re getting married, right?”

I stare at him incredulously, “Yes.”

“Just checking, because it doesn’t seem like you’re on the same page.”

“Fuck you,” I stand and adjust my purse on my shoulder, “I don’t even know you.” I prepare to walk away. Alex orders two shots of tequila. “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, were you preparing to walk out on your fiancé's show?”

I glare at him and shit back down. “I don’t even know you and I hate you.”

He winks at me and raises his tequila shot. I do the same.

The Maine goes on. I smile at the way John captivates his audience. I see Alex watching me from the corner of my eye, but I ignore him.

Half way into the set Alex convinces me to do a few more tequila shots with him. I laugh at his dirty jokes, forgetting about our earlier spat and the strange encounter on the subway. I was in love with John and Alex knew that. Any earlier indiscretion didn’t matter now.

The Maine goes off and John makes his way across the room to me. He takes me in his arms and kisses me. He’s sweaty but I don’t care. May be the mix of whiskey and tequila pumping through my veins. I watch Alex as John kisses down the side of my face. May be the promise of new beginnings.