If only it was that easy

Sure being done with high school is great but when you didn't even plan on making it past then you hate the fact that you still live with your Guardian and are technically old enough to move out. About two months before graduation I decided that I couldn't deal with any of the bullying I was receiving so I decided to end all the suffering of my aunt and cousin and just kill myself so I tried but unfortunately I was saved.

The recovery was shit but I passed my classes and got my diploma. Now almost a year since and I'm still not fully sure I'm fine but my aunt wont let me live on my own until she thinks I'm fine. So until the day she thinks I will not hurt myself again I'm stuck in her house, the house I spent a good bit of my childhood in. My rooms at one end of the house and is cool, but I'm ready to move away and travel. I wanna go places and live my first real snowy Christmas or see the Eiffel Tower or even the Roman Colosseum.

But alas my life isn't cool and I just got fired from my job and on top of that it's Christmas is today. Most families get together for Christmas eve but my family gets together for Christmas day and have dinner and drink and cut up with everyone. We always have an abundance of people here and extras are always welcome. It's currently 4 o'clock and I already went out and got the official gifts for our extra guests coming.

Now I'm running around the house finishing touches on the decorations and last minute cleaning. "Paige, so what's the name of this boy you invited?" My aunt asked me while we were standing in the dining room. "His name's Jack." "Ok, so how many other one's of your friends are coming?" I set the silverware down on the table. "About 6 other people besides Alana..." I said leaning on my hands on our dinning room table.

"That's fine, I was just asking." She said looking at me. I gave her smile and she returned it. My aunt wants me to find my 'Prince Charming', much like what my cousin has found in her boyfriend George. "Aunt Kim, I met him yesterday." I said to her. The smile on her face went wider and she finished setting the table with the snacks and plates and stuff. She turned away and went back to the kitchen.

I followed her and finished grabbing the rice crispys off the counter. I put them in the dinning room on the table. Then I heard a knock on the door, traveling down the steps I yelled down to Ali and George. "Dudes, guests are here!" I got to the front door and opened it. "Hey, Aunt Dee." I said as she and George walked in. (Yes there are two Georges) She pulled me into a hug. "Nice to see you, sweet heart." "You too." I said pulling away.

"Hey George." I smiled really big pulling him into a hug. I always liked the men in my family better then the women cause they don't prod in my life. "So what's been going on girlie?" He asked as we walked up the stairs to the living room. "Nothing, just you know getting fired." "Ohh, that sucks." "Yep but it's fine, I was gonna quit anyways." We took a seat on the couch and our dog Sophie ran up.

"Well, Austin made something out of his photography thing he had going on." My Aunt Dee said. "Cool." I said back. That's how the conversation always goes, doesn't matter what's going on in my life someone else's is always more interesting. I take it in tow, and try not to let the little things like that get in the way of how I feel. I got up out of my chair and went into the kitchen, passing Aunt Kim on her way to the living room.

I checked on my turkey in the oven, whenever we all get together it used to be my dad's job to cook but that now falls to me. I checked it and cleaned off the thermometer and check on my casseroles in the other oven. "Paige, someone's at the door. Will you get it!" My grandmother yelled. I roll my eyes cause she has constantly annoyed me her whole stay here, she's staying the guest room, right across from mine.

"Sure." I said running down the steps. I fix my half apron over my lower half and now my straightened hair is up in a bun. I pull open the door. "Hey Iz." My cousin Austin says walking in. "Hey, Austin. Megan." I say back as they both pull me into hug. "We got here at the right time cause Heidi and Eddy and the kids are here along with Sam and Greg and the girls." Austin said passing me and going up the steps to the living room. I got a huge smile on my face.

I stepped outside and down the sidewalk to my drive way. "Izzy." Heidi said and gave me a hug. "Nice to see you." I said pulling away and pulling Eddy into a hug. "You too." He said back. "Hey, Audrey." I said as she stepped forward pulling me into a hug. She's two years older than me and their son, Trey, is a year younger than me. Trey and I hugged. "Y'all can go inside if you want." I said gesturing to the house.


They nodded and passed me. I stood there as Sam and Greg came up the drive way. "Manta." I said and pulled her into hug, she hugged back. "How are you?" Sam asked in my ear. "Ok, been better but I'm fine." I said back. I hugged Greg and kissed the little baby in his arms. "Hello, Jillian." I said to the little over 3 month old baby. She reminds me a lot of my sister when she was little. Then I heard feet hitting the concrete. "Paigie-Poo!" I heard Skylar yell.

I squatted down on my knees and pulled her up to my chest, after she ran into my arms. "Sky!" I said back. I stood up and took her inside. I walked up the steps and tried to put her down. "No, I wanna go with you." She said. "Ok, you can help me cook." I said and went into the kitchen. I set her up on the counter. "You look so cute in your little dress." I said as she looked down at her outfit. She's 4, will be 5 in April. "Santa brought it to me." She said.

She looked back up at me. "We'll have to do another Paigie-Poo and Sky day. We'll go to the mall and ride the carousel, and drink hot chocolate and eat all sorts of candy." "Can we watch Nightmare Christmas?" She asked. I moved to the fridge and pulled out the heavy whipping creme from the fridge. "Duh, dude. We can watch it Elevendy billion times in a row." "Can we save room for Home Alone?" She asked. "But of course, only the greatest Christmas movie." I set the stuff on the counter and pulled out the mixer.

I poured the liquid in there. "Alright, you know not to touch this right?" I asked. "Yeah dude." She said. I smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're so cool." I said to her. "Yeah, you're cool too." She said back. I smiled cause she never fails to make my day. The timer went off and I went over to the oven and pulled out the casseroles. I shoved in the pie and turned back to Sky and the creme. I started the machine and it splattered a few drops. Then yet another knock waas heard on the door.

"I got it!" My cousin Austin yelled. I heard him run down the steps. I turned back to Sky, she was mesmerized by the whipped creme. I turned it on higher and the peaks formed in the whip creme signalling it was done. I stopped it and took a finger full and put it on Sky's nose. "My turn." She said and did it to me. I smiled at her. She was staring at something so I decided to lick the side of her face. "Paigie-Poo!" She yelled and whipped her face off.

I giggled and she jumped off the counter and into my arms. "I got you." I said. "No way." She said back and started to try to lick my face. I was holding her back. We both laughing like crazy. "Paigie-Poo." she whined. "Alright." I stopped fighting and let her lick across my cheek and the bridge of my nose. I whipped it off. "You're a freak." I said to her. "You licked me first." She said as I set her back on the counter.

"You can't prove that." I said to her. "Sure she can, I saw it." I turned to see Jack standing in the kitchen door way. "Oh hey..." I said. "Who are you? You have cool hair." Sky said. "I'm Jack." He said stepping over. My cheeks burned a bright red. "I'm Skylar, I'm 4." She said to him. "Hey, Jack." I said. He turned to me and we both stood there staring at one another. Then the timer beeped. I went past Jack and to the oven.

I pulled out the pies and set them on the counter. "Do you like whip creme?" Sky asked. "Yeah." Jack said. "Here try this." She said getting some on her finger. He licked it off. "Yummy." He said smiling at Sky. "Paigie-Poo is a good kitchen lady." She said. I laughed and went back to the mixer. I put the whipped creme into a dish and put the bowl in the sink. "Skylar, are you gonna say hello to everyone or run away with Paigie-Poo?" Sam asked walking into the kitchen.

"I'll stay with Paigie-Poo." She said looking at me. I picked her up and set her on the floor. "Go say hi to everyone, make sure you give Poptart a really big hug." I said as she ran out of the kitchen. "So that was your..." Jack asked when Sam left. "Cousin, we're really close. She's the coolest little kid." I said. "I'll believe that when I see it." He said leaning back on the counter. "So where's your friends?" I asked. He laughed and took my hand pulling me tot he door way.

I thought maybe that tingling sensation might go away but seems like no. "They got abducted by your family." He said laughing. All of his friends were in the living room and talking to various family members. I laughed and then Austin walked in pulling me away from Jack. We stepped out side onto the porch, he shut the door. "Where did you find them?" Austin asked. "I met only one of them, Jack, and I met him yesterday at the mall. Why?" I asked.

"They're in a famous band." He said. "Well, they're people too..." I said not understanding what he was getting at. "Duh, I know that. I just wanna warn you." "About what, Austin?" I said crossing my arms. "Jack is a total player, Iz. He'll just use you." He said. "First off I'm not gonna sleep with the man, I just met him. And second he seems totally cool, so thank you for your concern." I said stepping back into the kitchen.

Jack was in the living room now with Sky on his lap. I stood in the door way of the kitchen watching them and listening to their conversation. "And Paigie-Poo lets me stay up late and eat candy and we watch movies, like Nightmare Christmas and Home Alone and we drink hot chocolate." She said fast, I would be surprised if Jack got all of that. "I love Home Alone." He said. I smiled knowing we had something in common.

"Also Jack the Pumpkin King is the coolest." He added. "I like Sally and the boogie man but he's a bad guy and dies." She said. I watched his face changed and I started to laugh. "Oh hey Izzy." Jack said. I looked back up and Jack was staring at me. "This is-" He started but Sky interrupted. She jumped off his lap and went around to each person. "This Alex, Lisa, Rian, Cassadee, and Zack. He has big muscles." She added. I smiled at her and she came over and I picked her up.

"Cool, It's nice to meet you guys." I said. The room was full of talking already and more people had arrived so it was full of people. Then one last knock on the door would surely be my older Cousin Keith and his two kids. I took Sky with me to the door. "Hey, Iz" Keith said to me pulling me in for a hug. "Hey guys." I said to all of them. Keith took Sky from my arms and I placed my arm over Avery's shoulder with Madison following behind us.

"So what's been going on Ave?" I asked, I feel like I have to pull this kid under my wing, even though my wings are not the best. "Good, Lacrosse training sucks but I'm good other wise." He said as I let go of his shoulders. I turned to Madison. "Hey, chick. What's with you?" I asked. She leaned closer. "Paige, is that Alex Gaskarth in your living room?" She asked. I looked over at him. "I guess, I just met him a few seconds before y'all walked in."

She nodded. I took her hand and pulled her into the living room. "Hey this is my cousin Madison. She seems to be a fan of you guys." I said. Jack looked up at me. "You knew we were in a band?" He asked. "I found out like 30 minutes ago." I added. "Well, nice to meet you Madison." Alex said. Madison gripped onto my hand tighter. "This is so cool and weird at the same time." She said into my back trying not to be seen. "Why?" I asked looking back at her. "Cause, you always meet cool people and just when I think this holiday can't get any weirder you bring in one of my favorite bands for dinner, you just amaze me."

She said. "Uh huh." I said letting go of her hand and going into the kitchen. I pulled the turkey out of the oven and started pulling stuffing out, then I started to carve that 23 pound bastard. "I wanna save you, I wanna save you, I need you save me toooooo, I wanna save you." I sang as I was cutting the turkey. "Hey, can someone help me?" I yelled. In came one of the guys I had just met. "What can I help you with?" He asked. "Um... Will you take this to the table and just start grabbing the casseroles and stuff putting them on the table as well." I asked.

"Sure, I'm Zack by the way." He said. I smiled. "You can call me Izzy, Iz, Paigie-Poo. Whatever's fine." I said continuing to carve the turkey. I finished carving and turned around to see Zack standing there. "We can eat now." I said with a smile. "Ok, sounds good." "What can I get you to drink? I have beer, Wine, Lemon Chello, I also have stuff for a screw drive, or I have juice boxes." I asked opening the fridge. He laughed. "Hey, I wont judge if you want a juice box." I said.

"I'll take a beer, thanks." I handed him a beer. "Paige Elizabeth-" "It's not for me." I said to my aunt as she walked into the kitchen. I grabbed a juice box and shook it and threw the straw paper away. I grabbed the last bit of the turkey and walked into the dinning room where everyone was getting situated. "Jackaroo sit near me!" Sky yelled. I laughed at the nickname. Only the cool kids get nicknames like mine and Jack's now.

"Ok." He said. I held out my hand reaching for my grandfather's glass. "Anyone else need something to drink?" I asked out loud. "Yes." I got from a couple people. "Alright I'm bringing out 5 beers, 2 glasses of wine and 1 juice box." I said. "The juice box is mine!" Sky yelled. I laughed and went into the kitchen retrieving the correct drinking and such. I walked back out and handed them out. I took my seat next to Zack and my cousin Avery.

My Grandma said grace and Avery and I were playing thumb war under the table. I was winning. "Loser." I whispered. "Shut up, hoe." He said. I laughed and we finished grace. I stood up and grabbed Sky's plate putting various foods on her plate. "I don't like-" "I know, no mashed potatoes." I said as I handed her her plate. I sat back down and let everyone else serve themselves. I eventually made my plate. "So Austin, I heard about the job offer, Congratulations." I said to my cousin across the table and down a little.

"Yeah, I'm super excited. I actually just got a glide cam for Christmas from this one." He said gesturing to Megan. She smiled and he kissed her cheek. "So I heard about you and work. I'm sorry." He said back taking a bite of food. "Yeah, it's not a big deal. This gives me a chance to use my savings and travel like I want." "Do you think it's such a good idea?" My Aunt Dee asked. "Yes I do, I don't wanna be stuck in Georgia anymore." "Where would you even go?" My grandmother asked.

"I don't know, I could see going up to Pennsylvania to visit Aunt Kathy and Uncle Bob. But really I would go anywhere." I said. I looked around the table all eyes on me. "I just wanna be able to live my life and forget about what happened but y'all wont let me. Now this is my life and if this was Austin in my situation yo would let him go, matter of fact he did this not that long ago after high school." I added. "Yes but he didn't-"

"What Aunt Dee? Hm? Try to kill himself? Well I'm trying to get out of that mind frame but you keep sending me back. The only person besides the guys I met today, Jack and Skylar, who by the way is 4. No one really cared it was just the association you had with me, the girl who was depressed and self harmed who attempted to end her life. It was almost worse that I had survived rather then just ended my life." I scooted my chair away from the table.

"I apologize for my outburst but not sorry I said it." I continued to leave our dinning room. I went down the steps past the front door and down to the garage. I walked through the dark room and went to the fridge and pulled out the bottle of Jack in the freezer. I walked outside of the garage and went to the back yard. It was on a hill and you could lay down on the grass and stare the stars. So that's what I did. I unscrewed the cap and removed the plastic from the bottle.

I stared at the stars. I drank and sang along to various songs in my head and hummed. My ankles crossed I leaned up a little and pulled my hair out of the bun. I shook it out and laid back down. I heard the door open. "You can't help me this time Aunt Kim." I said out loud taking another swig. "It's not your Aunt, it's me." Jack said walking over to me. I sat up and set the bottle down. 'I'm so sorry I ruined your Christmas." I said as he sat across from me. "You didn't ruin my Christmas. I was super excited to spend it with you actually."

I blushed. "Why me? I'm not cool, my family doesn't like me and I'm sure once you know something about me you wont like me either." I said to him, trying my best to be truthful. "Nah, I like you because we have a lot in common. Sky told me some pretty random things about you. Like you collect tea cups, and your favorite movie is The Princess Bride and that you love The Nightmare before Christmas. And then there's the stuff I noticed like you snort when you laugh and you have calluses on your fingers, which means you play guitar which makes you epically cool in my book."

I smiled at Jack. "Thanks." I said looking down at my fingers in my lap. "This is gonna be totally weird and crazy but" I looked up at Jack. "I sort of got you fired and I feel like I owe you-" "You don't owe me anything." "Let me finish." He said. I nodded. "Anyways, We're going home tomorrow for a couple days and you said you wanted to travel so you should come with me, we're gonna go back out on tour after that and I mean if you want to you could come with us on that..." He trailed off.

I smiled incredibly big. "Really? Are you serious?" I asked still in shock. "Yeah, It would be really awesome if you came." He said. I lunged at him and pulled him into a hug. "No one's ever been this nice to me. Thank you, Jack." I said against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me. I never wanted to let go but I did and I stood up. "Here come on, I'm sure they started presents." I said and helped him up.

We walked back in the house and up the stairs. All eyes on me when I walked in. "Paige, I didn't mean to upset you so much, I just worry is all." My Aunt Dee said. "I know, it's ok." I said. Everyone went back to what they were doing, watching Avery open his gifts. We go from youngest to oldest which meant Sky already went. "Hey, where's Sky?" I asked. "Out on the porch." Greg said.

I walked through the kitchen and out to the porch. Sky had Zack and Alex playing with her. "I see you like my gift." I said to Skylar. "Yeah, look I got numchucks. Just like Mikey!" She said excitedly. She had the eye cover over her eyes and of course I bought her all four. She had the orange one on and Zack using the purple set, Alex had on the blue one. I laughed cause they looked ridiculous. Then she ran over to Jack standing next to me.

"Do you wanna be Raph?" She asked. "Duh." He said back. She handed him the last eye cover and the knife things he uses. They started to play around and I walked back inside. I went back to the living room. I sat down and watched Trey open gifts, shortly after he started the guys and Sky came back inside. I scooted off onto the floor and Jack sat behind me and I sat in between his legs. Sky came over and sat with me.

"Thanks for the game." Trey said giving me a hug. "You're welcome." I said back giving him a hug. "Alright, normally it would be Izzy's turn next but the rules change when you have friends over so, which one of you all is the youngest out of the group?" My aunt asked. Cass raised her hand. "Alright her you go." she said handing her a bag and I wrapped box. We went through the line starting with Cass, Jack, Zack, Rian, Lisa, then Alex. They all got some sort of Hot chocolate thing and a set of pajamas.

After they were all done my aunt turned to me. "Alright, your turn woman." She said handing me my first thing. I opened a couple presents going through, most being strange things my family thought I would like until I opened Austin's present which happened to be a bottle of KY intense and a massive box of condoms. Everyone laughed including me but my Aunts and grandmother thought it was extremely inappropriate. "And last this one." My aunt said. "Can I help?" Sky asked, she helped me open the rest so I don't see why not.

I looked at the tag and instantly smiled. Jack got me a present. She opened it and revealed a beautiful necklace with a locket on the end that had a music note on it. "Wow, that's gorgeous Paige." My aunt Dee said. I smiled as I pulled it out of the box. I unclipped it and put it on my neck. I smiled cause it hung in the right spot and I loved it. I looked over at Jack and smiled. My cheeks red cause this is quite possibly the greatest thing I've ever gotten for Christmas, besides my first guitar my dad got me.

We then went to opening presents for everyone else, following the youngest to oldest thing we always did. It went by and we all just cut up and laughed. I got up close to the end and went into the kitchen. I looked around and rolled up my sleeves. Sure everyone knows but I don't like them to see. I started cleaning the dishes. Washing all the pots and stuff. I began to sing Right Now by SR-71. "So what if the sex was great Just a temporary escape Another thing I grew to hate
But now that's over." I started dancing washing dishes.

"Hey." I dropped the pot I was washing in the sink. "Sorry, you scared me." I said and turned around pulling down the sleeves of mt sweater. "So you like the necklace?" he asked. I looked at him with are you serious look. "Duh, I love it. It's beautiful." I said and walked over pulling him into a hug. "Thanks, Jack." He hugged back. I loved it when our skin touch it felt like small fires erupted across the surface but it was good and I never wanted it to go away. "You're welcome, thanks for the Pj's." He said.

I got him a pair with Jack the Pumpkin King all over it. I didn't know he liked him like I do but it was a goods choice apparently. We pulled away. "I was serious about that offer by the way." He said. "Are you sure you want me to come with you?" I asked. "Yeah, I do. Plus our merch guy Vinny could use your help, on tour if you're interested." "Yeah, definitely." I said with a smile. He smiled back just as wide.

"Hey, Izzy. We're gonna head back to the bus, thanks for inviting us, we actually had fun." Alex said giving me a hug. "Yeah, you're welcome." I said turning to give everyone a hug. I did and the last was Jack again. "Bye, Paige." He said. I looked at him. "Paige?" I said. "Yeah, as cute as your nickname is I like your real name." He hugged me and took a step towards the front door. "Jackaroo!" Sky yelled. She ran down the steps at him and he picked her up, she was now wearing the TMNT pj's I bought her.

"Bye." She said giving his neck a hug. "Bye, Sky." He said. She held her arms out and jumped over to me. Then Greg and Sam walked down the steps with all the gifts already loaded all they had was Jillian. I stepped out of the house and walked down the Sam and Greg's car with Sky in my arms, fading fast too. I slid her into her seat and buckled her up. "I can't wait till you have kids, you're gonna be such a good mom." Sam said giving me a hug. "Not anytime soon." I said with a laugh.

She got in the car and I walked back up they were the last to leave and I went into the house and closed and locked the door behind me. "Iz, I'm gonna go to bed." My Aunt Kim said. I stepped over to her. "Aunt Kim, I'm leaving tomorrow. I'll give you a call but please don't stop me, nothing will happen it's just.... it's just time I do something by myself." I said giving her a hug. "I promised your dad I would protect you, are you gonna be fine?" She asked. "Yes, I promise." I said and pulled away. "Alright then, I'll see you tomorrow before you leave." She said. I nodded and walked back to my room.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and had a message.

Jack- Hey, I ran it by the guys and they said they'd love to have you come with us. We'll be by to grab you around 11:30 am. I'm happy you're coming with us. :)
Me- I'm happy you talked me into it, I'll see you then. :P

I put on my Pj's and brushed my teeth and then I plugged up my phone and grabbed my duffel bag, I packed it and looked around my room one last time before turning off the light and sliding into my bed.

Notes

Comment Please... I really like feed back and it makes me want to write faster when you comment! LOVES :P

Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=107889464