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Destined To Explode

Nine.

“So wait, you’re telling me that even though Rick beat the shit out of you on a regular basis, Marky didn’t tell me?”

“It wasn’t Marky’s business to tell anyone.” I scoff, following Jack as he storms around the dining room. “I’m telling you now, Jack. Okay?”

“No! It’s not okay, not at all! My baby cousin has been fucking domestically abused for years and she didn’t even tell anyone, she didn’t tell me.”

“What could you have done, huh? I wanted to be with Rick, I wanted to be in Chicago and I thought that putting up with all that crap was worth it, nothing you could have said or done would have changed my mind.”

“What made you change your mind this time though? How do I know that by this time next week you won’t be halfway back there again?”

“Because I’ve realised how fucking stupid I was, maybe? How ridiculously helpless and isolated I let myself become. I hate that I feel so week all of the time and that now Alex thinks that I’m fucking made of porcelain and that you will too. What’s it going to be like when everyone else finds out, huh? People are going to be tiptoeing around me for months, Jack. That isn’t what I want and it is something that I have never wanted.”

“Are you going to tell anyone else?”

“It’s not like it’s something that I can avoid, Jack.” I shake my head dejectedly. “You noticed the bruises as soon as you saw me and they’re only going to get worse before they get better, there’s only so many times that I can tell people that I walked into a door or whatever.”

“I think that we should have a band meeting, get everyone over here and tell them about you joining us on tour-“

“How did you know that I was coming on tour?”

Jack frowns. “I wasn’t just gonna abandon you here, was I?”

I shake my head. “Alex has already told me that I’m coming on tour. I’m selling GK stuff that Marky’s sending over so it looks like we’re collaborating with you guys or something. The amount of trouble that people are going through to cover up my mistakes, Jack, I can’t-”

“It’s because we all love you, Poppy.” He yanks me into a hug. “Come on, I’ll ring the guys and we can get together and then we’ll just drink ourselves into oblivion for the rest of the night with the shit load of wine that I have somehow acquired.”

“Ah, but Alex is at home sorting things out with Lisa and he’s the only one who knows all of the details that he has sorted with Mark, so maybe we should wait for him?”

“Who knows when that will be sorted.” He mutters and I roll my eyes as childish Jack is suddenly back into the equation.

* * * *

I’m thoroughly intoxicated when my phone buzzes from the confines of my jeans pocket and it takes a few rings for my brain to actually realise that I should probably answer the call, seeing as it was late and normally that means that something has happened.

“Hello?” I probably slur, laughing carelessly down the phone as Jack falls down the last four steps into the basement.

“Are you drunk, Poppy?”

“Jack had a lot of wine.” I state. “So, we drank it.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He sounds disappointed. “Can I come pick you up or do you want to stay there for the night?”

“Do you want to come pick me up, Alex?”

“I want you home, Poppy. I’ll be ten minutes, okay?”

After promising an equally drunk Jack that I wasn’t going to go back to Illinois while he slept, I went to wait on the porch, knowing that the cool air would help sober me up quicker because I did feel guilty about being in this state when Alex had probably just done something potentially heart-breaking.

I’m still gulping down air, trying to stop the dizziness in my head when Alex’s car pulls into the drive and quickly skids on the gravel drive, climbing out with the engine still running and the headlights on, leading me to conclude that he really is just here to pick me up and go back to his place.

“Are you going to be sick?” He asks as he crouches down, probably noticing my off-beat breathing. “I don’t want that in my car so if you are, let me go and grab a bucket or something.”

I shake my head with a laugh, regretting it as my vision blurs again. “Wine doesn’t make me sick, it’s fine; I’m fine. Just help me up?”

He’s quick to grasp my hand, helping me steady my steps over the loose stones, even taking it as far as buckling my seatbelt when I fall into the passenger seat. “Trust you to get drunk tonight, Pops.”

“What’s wrong with tonight? It helped distract Jack from me.”

Alex laughs, slamming my door shut with more force than necessary in my eyes, probably to punish me for getting so intoxicated, yet he’s quick to apologise when he sits back down behind the steering wheel. “I could have done with you being your sober, wise self tonight; shoulder to cry on, maybe.” He shrugs. “It can wait until the morning.”

I frown, shaking my head as my lip trembles pathetically. “I didn’t even – Did she not take it well? That was a dumb thing to say, sorry.”

Alex laughs quietly, his hand leaving the steering wheel to squeeze mine. “No, she didn’t take it well at all, not that I expected that she would but I think that she was still pissed at me for freaking out about the marriage and kids. I thought that it would be weird now that things are properly over since High School.”

“So, it’s not weird?”

He shakes his head vigorously. “It’s almost like a relief. Someone has finally lifted some weight off of my shoulders. I don’t know, I feel awful because I have just basically broken someone’s heart but it’s not as bad as I thought I would feel.”

* * * *

The next morning is most definitely worse than the night before. Not only do I have a massive headache from the amount of wine that I had consumed with Jack the night before (who I hope is feeling as shit as me because he certainly drank more than I did), but I felt extremely guilty for leaving Alex to deal with the Lisa situation alone because it can’t have been easy, nor looking after my staggering self straight after.

“How’re you feeling?” Alex mutters sympathetically as he joins me in the lounge after I had crawled out of bed and into the bathroom where I had tried to make myself feel human again, with no prevail. “I did try to make you eat something last night but you just kept asking to go to sleep.”

I groan. “Why do I even let myself get drunk? I’m sorry, Lex. You bring me home and help me sort my shit out and look at the thanks I give; I get beyond drunk and then force you to look after me.”

“I think that you needed last night, Poppy.” He grins. “Don’t worry about it though, okay? I wanted you to come back here even though you were royally pissed, I expected you to be worse than you actually were.”

“Yeah, well I still regret my choices. It feels like my head might actually fall off or explode.”

Alex jumps up, swinging his arm in a gesture to follow him, and when I do, he leads me through into the kitchen where he spreads his arms open. “The cupboards are re-stocked with every type of food, there’s medical shit in the bathroom cabinet and Baz will want to cuddle you all afternoon because he hasn’t seen you yet. Perfect hangover recipe, no?”

“Prefect, if it could happen.” I groan. “Jack wants a band / crew / gang meeting so that everyone knows about what’s happening.”

“Surely that means you have to tell them about Rick, even if it is just basic details?”

I nod. “I’m going to have to man up about it, Lex; otherwise people will jump to conclusions about why I’m here again and that could potentially end in disaster.”

“You mean, people will think that you’re back because we’re fuck buddies again?”

“Well, things do look suspicious.”

Notes

Comments

So I just read the whole thing and it's fucking amazing!

yeah nah yeah nah
12/26/13

How often you actually update this story and how good it is makes me so happy!! Your such a good wroter :)

SarahBethBarakat SarahBethBarakat
12/24/13

Love!!!

Maggie_2009 Maggie_2009
12/24/13

I love this

Ellama Ellama
12/23/13

Update soon :D

Ellama Ellama
12/23/13