Destined To Explode

I barely recognise my own voice as I screech for Alex, just as Rick lunges towards me, his face contorted in anger as he barrels my way. Now, Alex had always looked lanky to me but when he sprints into the room and his eyes widen at the sight of Rick, who is a body builder in comparison, he looks tiny.

“The fuck?!” He exclaims, striding over with more confidence that I had ever seen him have, even on stage, pulling at the man who had been trying to make a grab for my throat and shoving him back towards the lounge, following after the now stumbling man before he swiftly punches him straight in the nose.

“That’s right, Poppy. Have someone else fight your battles.” Rick mumbles around his hand as his nose steadily drips blood.

I can just tell that Alex is rolling his eyes as he steps forward more, crossing his arms over his chest as he defends me. “I think that it would be a good idea if you left now, Rick is it?

“What are you gonna do about it, faggot?”

With a shake of his head, Alex sighs. “I just want you to leave, okay? I’m not going to do anything.”

“Rick, please leave.”

Alex’s head whips around, his eyes glaring at me as I let my feet take me towards Rick but Alex grabs hold of my shoulder, tugging me away again. “What are you doing?”

“Just – Just let me deal with this, yeah?” I squeeze his hand as I take it from shoulder, pushing is back to his side as I curl my hand around Rick’s jacket pocket, dragging him out of the apartment with a few quick movements. “Rick, just shut up and go home, okay? I’ll come and see you tomorrow, when you’re sober.”

“It’s not going to be pleasant.”

I watch him stumble down the concrete stairs, waiting with baited breath for the sound of the heavy front door of the apartment complex to slam closed and for the latch to click.

“I hope that you don’t expect me to actually let you go and see him tomorrow.” Alex’s voice startles me and I drop my head in shame. “I’m not an idiot, Poppy. I wasn’t going to let you come out here with him and not be on hand to help if you needed it.”

“He just needs to sober up.”

“I can’t believe that you’re defending him.” He scolds. “Not only has he royally fucked up your face but he was trying to strangle you and God knows what else!”

“I just wanna go back to be, okay? If you’re going to sit and rant about making stupid decisions, can you at least save it until tomorrow?”

“Poppy.” He laughs in disbelief. “Tomorrow we are packing your shit up and we are going back to Baltimore. I couldn’t give a shit about work, bills and all of the other fucking excuses that you can come up with; we’re leaving.”

“That eager to see Lisa, are we?” I know that it’s a low blow as soon as my mouth forms the very first syllable but I can’t seem to stop myself. “Yeah, I didn’t mean that.”

Alex just shakes his head, tucking a piece of hair back behind my ear as he stops just short of my bedroom door. “I know that you didn’t but for the record, until you are okay, I won’t be straying too far from your side. You’re incredibly brave on the outside, Poppy but I can tell when you’re petrified. Rick scares me too, alright? So, do us both a favour and let me feel like the hero and whisk you away.”

* * * *

“Okay, so Mark has agreed to send a ton of GK stuff to my house, so that you can sell it on tour when we go. You’ll get paid as usual too. Um, I paid your landlord an extra month of rent to get you out of here without any trouble and I’m pretty sure that you were up to date on your bills.” Alex grins as he walks back into the apartment a few hours after leaving. “Marky also says ‘thank you for finally getting away from it’ or something.”

“Yeah.”

Mark had figured out what was happening with Rick a while ago, after I had shown up at work with finger shaped bruises across my neck and nothing to hide them with.

“Have you decided how to tell Jack yet?” He smiles gently. “The kid will figure it out soon enough if you don’t do it anyway, so just make it easy on yourself and tell him.”

“Can we just leave, please?” I sigh, scratching at my arm, my own nervous trait finally beginning to surface as I glance around at the still furnished apartment, the only things missing are the things that are personal or that we can fit into the back of my car.

The thought of telling Jack, who was literally like a brother to me, was genuinely scaring me out of my wits. My heart was telling me that he wouldn’t be mad, that he would be more worried about my health and angry at Rick who he had never liked in the two years that we had been on and off again dating. My brain, on the other hand, just kept thinking about all of the scenarios of him screaming at me for being so stupid, yelling that I deserved it if I wasn’t going to tell anyone about it.

“Yeah, come on, kiddo.” He grabs my hand from scratching the skin away. “Don’t be all reserved on me now, alright? This is a long drive and I need you to be saying shit to keep me laughing.”

“He’s going to be so mad.” I ponder out loud as I chew my lip, following Alex around my apartment like a lost puppy as he collects both of our cell phones and other technical gadgets that he had deemed suitable to leave out of the hectic box packing that we had done at barely seven o’clock that morning.

“You don’t have to see him again, ever.” Alex stops me in my tracks as he turns, the back of his empty hand running over my cheek before he leans in to press a kiss to my forehead. “He probably doesn’t have the brain capacity to even think that you would go back home so don’t worry about him showing up in Baltimore. Now, I don’t know how messed up all of this shit has made you, or if you’ve just taken it all in your stride but listen Poppy, in all seriousness, when we get back if you ever want to talk or cry or shout, I will only be a phone call away.”

“I’m fine really, Alex.”

…And that makes me a liar.

Notes