Destined To Explode

“What’s up, Jackary?” I smile as I enter the bus, my duties for the day done and sorted so now it was my down time and apparently Jack’s too. “Want a water?”

He shakes his head and holds up his grape soda. “You done for the day?”

“Yeah, I’ll probably go and do a last minute count in about five, but for now I’m finished.” I grin, sliding into the seat opposite him, putting my radio back in the charging dock. “I thought that you guys had an interview right about now?”

He shrugs. “They just wanted Rian and Alex, so I’m making the most of it.”

“Ah well, quality time with your cousin then.” I nudge his leg beneath the table. “You alright, Jacko?”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

I raise an eyebrow as I take a sip of the water. “Shoot.”

“It’s, um, about Alex.”

“Right… what about him?”

“You’re going to fucking lose your head but whatever,” he sighs as he leans forward over the table. “I know that this is ridiculous but I’m only doing it because I love you, okay?”

“Jack, just get on with it.” I was already losing my rag, I knew what was coming, some sort of warning about how Alex was going to hurt me and I should be careful and all the rest of the shit that had spewed from my Mother’s mouth a few months ago.

“Look, right, I’m not trying to split you up, I know that you’re both happy but I just don’t want you getting hurt. You know first-hand what he’s done in the past, you’ve been a part of it, and I’m not saying that he’ll do it again, but there is that chance. You’re not always going to be on tour with us, you know? And he tries, he does, but sometimes he just slips.”

“I’m not an idiot, Jack. I know who he is and what he’s done and what he’s capable of doing and maybe I am stupid for trusting him, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do. If he does something and he tells me, then fine; we’ll probably work through it but the only way that we’re going to break up is if one of us isn’t happy or he thinks that he can lie to me.”

“But he can lie, Poppy. He cheated on Lisa God knows how many times and she never found out unless someone told her, and I’m sorry but I don’t think that anyone will tell you; we’d all hate to see you hurt. I don’t want to see you become the girl who just lets her boyfriend cheat because it comes with the lifestyle.”

“But doesn’t it, Jack?” I lift my gaze from the mock-marble of the table to meet his worried eyes. “Don’t groupies and band sluts come with the territory? Isn’t that your fucking reward for touring so much?”

“Poppy…”

“No Jack, I’ve got what, maybe two weeks left with you guys because I can’t fucking go to Europe and you’re dumping all of this on me now? Couldn’t it have waited? Or are you trying to tell me, without telling me, that all of this bullshit has already happened? Is that it? Did Alex fuck someone else while I was away?”

“No, Poppy, I was just…”

“Then why bring it up? I’m going to see if I can help anyone else.”

I leave then, and quickly, only stopping to grab my water bottle and the jacket I had slung on the other couch, slamming the bus door as I go and barely giving the security time to see my ID before I push past them and back into the mayhem.

I don’t actually intend to help anyone much, by this time the only things that are left to do is the electrics with Jeff’s lights and he had his own little crew to do that with him. Instead, I go and take a seat by Evan who’s still messing with his soundboard, putting together the playlist for the interval.

“Evening, Poppy.”

“Yeah,” I mumble, looking around the room to see if there’s something interesting I can focus on, but there isn’t. “Do you wanna go and grab some dinner or something?”

“Subway sound good?”

“Yeah, just come and get me when you’re ready.” I traipse on over to Vinny who’s just sitting back behind the merch table, feet kicked up as he plays on his phone. “Vin, you up for some sandwiches?”

“You not gonna wait for your boy? Matt just text to say that they’re on their way back now.”

I send him a shrug as a reply, instead just walking away, leaving Evan too as I exit through the back, zipping up my jacket and pulling the hood up as I walk onto the street, knowing that the centre of town is only a few blocks away and that means food.

I’m not mad at anyone, not even Jack who stuck me in this mood but I wanted to get away from that drama and knowing Vinny and Evan, they would spend so long preparing to go that Alex would be back and he’d join us, notice something was wrong and we would end up in an argument ourselves.

Walking off by myself is the lesser of the two evils.

~*~*~*~

Starbucks is the first place I come across where I can eat something that classes as a meal, so with an order of a Panini and a White Chocolate Mocha, I take a seat towards the back, smiling as I see some of the customers dressed in All Time Low shirts, chatting animatedly over their drinks.

I’m just taking my last bite of the Panini as my phone rings, Alex’s name and face flashing across the screen and I hesitate before I answer, thinking maybe that I should just let it ring through and make my way back to the venue.

“Hello?” I answer quietly, leaning back in my chair a little.

“Where’ve you disappeared too, babe?” Alex’s happy voice answers. “Evan’s pretty upset that you bailed on your date.”

“He’ll get over it,” I snort. “I’m just leaving Starbucks.”

“Well, stay there, we’ll come and meet you.”

“There’s a nice, sizeable group of your fans here is you really wanna risk it,” I tease, looking over as more, not so obvious fans wander into the café.

“Maybe we’ll get a runner to go and grab some McDonald’s or something.” He laughs. “You’ll be back soon then?”

“Yeah soon, Lex.”

“I’ll send a search party if not.” He chuckles. “See you soon, Pop.”

I hang up, wandering on over to the counter again and basically buying what’s left of their cake stock to take back with me to the venue for everyone, to somewhat make up for my short disappearance, which I extend when I decide that I have a few hours before I need to be back and wander around the town before I head back in the direction of the venue.

~*~*~*~

“Well, look who finally got back.” Colussy cheers as I enter the backstage area, he was looking over some sort of checklist. “Everyone’s in the dressing room.”

I enter quietly, Jack and Alex both standing up immediately as I do so, and I raise an eyebrow at them both as I throw both of the bags of goodies down onto the table in the middle of the room. “Problem, boys?”

Jack goes to speak but stops as Alex steps over everyone else, almost tripping over Zack’s legs before he manages to tug me back out of the room and down the hall. “The fuck, Poppy?”

“What?”

“You just wandered off without telling anyone where, and without someone else with you. What happened so soon? Is your phone broken as well?”

I laugh in almost shock as I shake my head. “I’m not the famous one here, Alex. I don’t need a bodyguard to trail around with me; your fans don’t tend to throw themselves at me, you know?”

Alex’s brow furrows as I keep his stare. “What’s gotten into you?”

I shake my head again. “Nothing.”

“Poppy.” He nudges me back until I’m leant against the wall, crowding me against it. “What’s going on? Jack’s been fucking edgy and Cass has no idea what’s happened. So, tell me.”

He ducks down until I meet his gaze, questioning me again, this time with a squeeze of my hand. “Alex, later. Please?”

“Now.”

There’s some stubborn moments of silence between us as Alex continues to hold me against the wall and I decided how I’m supposed to put my following statement. “Jack and I, we had an argument and I walked off. That’s it.”

“And the argument was about?”

“You.”

Notes