Destined To Explode

“What’s up, Gaskarth?” I grin as he slips out of his house and into my waiting car, visibly shaking after a few seconds in the open air, despite the heat blowing from my heaters and his three layers of clothing. “Where did you say we’re going again?”

“You know the little café that we used to ambush after school? Old creepy guy runs it but they do really good cake.”

“Attman’s? That’s all the way in Lutherville, Lex.” I laugh; pulling out of his drive, despite the fact that I had told Alex that going for lunch was fine as long as I got back to mine in time to get ready for the party later on. “You better be paying me gas money after this.”

“I’ll even pay for our food, how does that sound?” He offers, fiddling with the wires attached to my dashboard, apparently trying to find the right one to connect my iPod to, immediately flicking through my collection of music before he switches on Jack’s Mannequin.

“Like you’re a sucker but I’ll go for it.” I poke my tongue out in his direction as I keep my eyes on the road, the heavy traffic needing my full attention, seeing as Baltimore drivers seem to love pulling dangerous manoeuvres while I’m on the road.

Alex talks constantly about the party that he and Rian are hosting tonight, in celebration of the New Year, explaining how they have done it for the past few years and how it’s always a lot of fun and a ton of people show up, including total strangers, but they don’t care as long as they’re gone in the morning. I nod along, smiling and laughing as Alex occasionally slips into memories of things that people had done in their drunken, New Year spirit, including Jack stripping and running for four blocks before anyone could stop him.

“There it is, on the right.” Alex grins, clapping his hand like a child and I raise my eyebrows as he practically bounces in his seat as I pull up outside. “I’ve been craving their strawberry cake for weeks.”

“And you didn’t drive up here yourself, because…?”

“No one would come with me.” He pouts. “But then I decided that I didn’t need to ask you because you like me and you don’t think that I’m an idiot for wanting to come up here.”

“I never said that you weren’t an idiot, Lex; this is just how you are and I’m used to it.”

“Oi!”

I laugh as I hear his call, even though I’m already out of the car, shutting the door and waiting on the sidewalk for him to join me but he just gapes at me through the window, the gaping fish look turning into a smirk as he watches me shiver in the wind and now, snow.

He does finally join me, arm swinging over my shoulder as he leads me into the small shop, shooing me over to the table by the window – the one that we used to fight for with other kids from our school - as he goes over to the counter to order our goodies and some hot cocoa. We manage to talk for hours, the conversation never strained, but always changing direction, the subjects going from how everyone was in school to what I was going to do about somewhere to live and back again. The woman who was serving, constantly re-filling our drinks, free of charge and when Alex goes up to pay again, while I wait by the door, she shoos him off with a comment of ‘on the house for the lovely couple’.

I know that I’m blushing when Alex strides over to my side, a smirk on his face as I shake my head with narrow eyes, pointing an accusing finger at his chest. “Why do people keep doing that? It’s not like we were sucking face all the time.”

He shrugs. “We clearly have chemistry.”

* * * *

“Poppy Jamila Zicarelli, if you don’t get your skinny, drunken ass downstairs two minutes ago -”

“I’m right here, douchebag.” I laugh at Jack from the top of the stairs, throwing my arms up in an exaggerated way to show off the dress that I had bought especially for this New Year’s party which had already consisted of a quiet meal between Alex and I earlier in the day and then the two bottles of wine that Jack had brought round when he had come to escort me to Alex and Rian’s house. “Do I look okay?”

“Alex won’t be able to keep his hands off of you.” Jack winks before laughing with a hiccup, his slightly drunken state shining through. “Seriously though, you look absolutely gorgeous – I don’t know where you get it from.”

“Certainly not from your side of the family.” I snort, flicking his nose with an innocent grin. “Ready to go now?”

“Yeah, have you got all of the shit that you need too? I don’t want you whining at me halfway there, telling me that you forgot your phone or something.”

“I’m way more organised than what you think I am. I dropped my bag off at Alex’s earlier with the drinks that we bought, so now all you have to do is to get me there safely.”

“I’ll see what I can do, m’lady.” He offers me his arm to link mine with and we finally leave the house, waving to our parents as well as the rest of the guys and most of the crews seeing as though my house was the host place for the ‘adults’ party, while we were all being ridiculous six blocks over. “So, Popsicle; what’s happening between you and Gaskarth then?”

Typical Jack; so blunt and to the point.

“Well, if you must know, Gossip Girl, nothing at all.”

“But you guys were attached at the, um lips, a week ago.”

I shrug. “Nothing has really happened since. We talked about the possibility of the two of us getting together on Christmas Eve but nothing since. I mean, there’s been some crude comments and then Alex was determined that we were going to fuck when he got drunk at the Christmas party but nothing serious.” I sigh with my head down, following the movement of Jack’s untied lace as we walk. “I didn’t think that I wanted anything to happen when we ended up making out in your yard but I just feel better when I’m around him. It feels normal to be ‘couple-y’ with him.”

“Then I say go for it. Alex is fucking besotted with you and always has been, so you don’t need to worry about him not feeling the same. All of this is down to you now, little cousin.” He grins, bumping his hip with mine. “Be fucking cliché and kiss him at midnight.”

I know that Jack is joking but how else am I going to basically tell Alex that I want something more than this shit between friends and something more without throwing myself at him?

Notes